


Partners in Crime

by Betrayed_puppy



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Thieves, Angst, Anxiety Attacks, Blood, Bottom Park Chanyeol, Bullying, Eventual Smut, Explicit Language, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Homophobia, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Minor Character Death, Mutual Pining, Romance, Top Byun Baekhyun, Trauma, Violence
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-06-09
Updated: 2020-03-30
Packaged: 2020-04-23 11:40:56
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 87,349
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19150312
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Betrayed_puppy/pseuds/Betrayed_puppy
Summary: “How far would you go to make a change?”All what Baekhyun asked for was a peaceful afternoon.Instead, he has to deal with leftover food, shattered glass, the regular violence and somehow even becomes friends with his ridiculous tall classmate Chanyeol amidst the chaos.A relationship that starts causing massive problems once Baekhyun finds out that the bright sparkle inside those pretty almond eyes covers up a surprisingly dark story ...





	1. Some heroes wear black hoodies

**Author's Note:**

> This story only exists because I realized that Chanyeol and Baekhyun are both able to pick locks.
> 
> And haters still say EXO has no talent.
> 
> Yeah, right.
> 
> Anyway, it'll take a while until they'll show you that awesome ability because the main focus lies on Baekyeol's relationship in the first few chapters, just that you know! And obviously, they'll do illegal stuff. Don't try this at home, 0/10 would not recommend. Also, don't judge these two too quickly please! It might not seem like it in the beginning but Yeol's a tol and clumsy precious cinnamon roll that needs to be protected and Baek's a sarcastic and brave smol bean that swears way too often.
> 
> Some sensitive topics are included in this story so please make sure to check the tags to see if you're comfortable with them before you start reading. I want this to be a nice experience for you guys!
> 
> (...I also want to make you cry every now and then but shh.)
> 
> English is not my first language and I don't have a beta-reader (yet..?) so please bear with me^^ And in case that anyone here knows EXO Amino, I started posting a [cut version](https://aminoapps.com/c/exo/page/item/rnrs-n-r/YjK3_6bEtXI0GvVWD4W7MMLgXbjMjY86Jz7tR) of this of this story there a while ago so feel free to check it our if you're interested in more now already!
> 
> Get ready for little and big crimes, for lots of fluffy cuteness, for some angsty scenes full of feels and - of course - for love, love, love ♡
> 
> Enjoy reading!

* * *

 「 _Tuesday, 10 November 2018_ 」

* * *

 

Minutes past three pm even though absolutely nothing troublesome has happened yet?

No way. This had to be a dream.

Baekhyun looked up from the cracked phone screen and peeked through the door, ready to retreat in case that any kind of danger was waiting for him. He couldn't see anything apart from the empty hallway though, probably because almost half an hour passed ever since the last school period has ended.

He would have loved to stay longer in his safe hide place but he had to get out of the building as soon as possible. He didn't want their reckless caretaker to accidentally lock him in here after all. The black haired teenager should have plenty of time left but he wasn't going to risk spending most of his night in this cold and unloving school that only reminded him of bad memories.

  _'Don't worry. No one seems to be here so you'll be fine. Hopefully,'_ Baekhyun told himself in an attempt to boost his courage and took a deep breath before opening the door completely, finally exiting the lifeless classroom he hasn't left once in the last thirty minutes.

Each step was timid and careful, not only because he rather remained cautious but also because he couldn't walk properly thanks to the unlucky encounter the day before.

The 17 years old boy grimaced when he remembered how brutally she pushed him down the very same stairs he was currently heading to, calling it an unfortunate accident afterwards and faking concern just to get away with it. His left foot was swollen because of the harmful action, a piercing pain shooting through his body whenever he put too much pressure on it.

The actual reason behind the incident?

Most of his schoolmates were downright evil, problematic and quarrelsome whereas teachers were too empty-headed, careless and ignorant to see the truth that was so obvious that it hurt.

_Literally._

How was it Baekhyun's fault that Rebecca, his former rich classmate from overseas that was responsible for his newest injury alongside many older ones, seemed to be around as intelligent as a freaking jellyfish? And why did he have to be the best in class every single year despite hating the broken school system with every fiber of his being? It turned him into such an easy target for someone who cared too much about wild parties and sex to use any of her free time for school, working with dirty tricks to make it through the semesters instead of studying hard.

Also, not to forget: Why the hell did he let his anger take over and informed his chemistry teacher who was generally known as a pathetic excuse for a human being when he noticed that she tried to copy his answers during the final test? That jerk had let it slide instead of giving her the deserved punishment and his classmates' reactions to the occurrence had been hideous.

Baekhyun should have seen that coming though. You would expect someone with his grades to use his brain before turning his thoughts into reality, too, no matter how outraged he was.

The teenager sighed when he finally reached his locker after almost five minutes, luckily without anyone disrupting him. This short distance would have taken him around 100 seconds under normal circumstances. Actually, he would be at home by now if it wouldn't be for miss _'no-one-is-better-than-me'_ and her seemingly endless list of whipped followers that were either too dense to realize her true intentions or simply seemed to love starting fights, considering that harassing Baekhyun was a consistent part of their daily schedules ever since the dreadful test.

Everything had been easier during his time as the outcast that barely had any true friends. He was known as dirty rat that almost ruined a _'poor and innocent'_ girl's flawless school career after speaking up, the bullying continuing to this day even though Rebecca and him weren't in the same class anymore.

"I hate my life," Baekhyun mumbled and raised his arm in order to key in the needed combination, stopping right in his tracks when he made out a faint noise. _'Fucking knew something's off here,'_ he thought, his mouth curving into a bitter smile. This had to be a new record. They didn't do anything yet but the uncommon peacefulness of this day has been disturbing him since such a long while that Baekhyun had to admit defeat nevertheless.

It was a cruel plan, making him uneasy all day only to catch him off-guard once he was all alone and believed he was safe. The chances of any outsider being here this late were rather slim so his ugly cries were most likely going to stay unnoticed but then again, it wouldn't make a huge difference if someone ended up hearing him anyway. Other students passed him without batting an eyelid everytime he was stuck in a forlorn situation, ignoring him even when he gave them pleading looks that were seeking for help.

Some were too scared to step in.

Most of his schoolmates, however, thought he deserved it.

Maybe he did.

Baekhyun pressed his lips together and stayed frozen for a few seconds that seemed to last an eternity, the tension around him unbearable. Nothing happened though so he could only ask himself if his imagination had played a trick on him or if he had become paranoid by now. That thought wasn't too far-fetched with how sudden they always showed up but getting this worked up over a mere possibility was absolutely pathetic. Baekhyun shook his head over his own stupidity and pressed the last number missing, regretting his decision the moment he opened his locker.

He should have payed more attention to his gut feelings.

"Seriously?!" the student shouted, trying to slam the door shut again the moment he noticed that his locker was filled to the brim with trash. He let out a high-pitched shriek once a few of his school books combined with leftover food, used tissues and a cup of cold coffee fell down before he could prevent it from happening, shutting his eyes close and covering his ears when a glass bottle shattered into hundreds of tiny splitters.

Baekhyun remained in the defensive position until he calmed down from the shock, well aware that this surprise could have lead to a concussion and an unpleasant hospital stay if the bottle would have hit his head.

Eventually, he shoved the distasteful noodles from today's lunch off his head, scrunching up his nose in disgust after running his shaky fingers through his bangs. His hairstyle was ruined thanks to the yucky oil.

Staring at the wet stain caused by the coffee soaking through his new pullover didn't make his mood any better. Actually, he was biting his lower lip so hard that he couldn't tell if he was tearing up because of the pain caused by his own teeth or if the humilating situation itself was at fault.

Taking the bus was going to be a lot of fun again today. Baekhyun could already feel the judging stares on him, could hear the spiteful whispering and snickering.

He blinked those embarrassing tears away when he heard one of the doors behind him opening and held his breath.

The pungent smell of the expensive cologne that started to fill the air was so sickening that his stomach turned.

_'God no.. Why him?'_ Baekhyun asked himself, trying to surpress the strong urge to throw up right then and there. He should have been able to guess that Rebecca's older brother Bryan had to be the person behind the reckless action though, now that he was thinking about it.

He was an extremely violent jock with flaming red, slicked back hair, broad shoulders and tons of admirers - for whatever reason. Bryan was a sore loser, too, his aggressive freak outs over the tiniest things bringing him into trouble several times a month. He loved showing off and was profoundly convinced that he was better than anyone else thanks to his popularity and the money coming from his rich parents, a standpoint that turned him into the perfect example of a person that Baekhyun would never enjoy being around. He figured out that staying away from such a frightening person was undoubtedly the best way to deal with him around one week after his first year at this horrible school already.

Baekhyun's strategy remained successful in the beginning but now, his mere existence was a thorn in Bryan's side thanks to the mistake that he made last semester. This was also why the older student was standing right behind him in no time, punching the locker and laughing mockingly because the noisy bang alone was enough to make the shorter boy flinch.

It **_was_ **funny that the sound startled him even though he had been in tons of similar situations countless times already, Baekhyun wasn't going to deny that. He saw himself getting used to it one day though, just like he got used to some of his 'friends' taking advantage of him. He learned how to cope with his classmates exlcuding him and calling him names a long time ago so why should it be any different in this case? Just because physical bullying was so much more humiliating and painful?

Of course, he didn't actually _want_ to play along and grow accustomed to it but all of Baekhyun's attempts to end those disdainful actions have been pointless so far.

The teachers couldn't care less about the seriousness of his situation and told him he was making a big deal out of nothing whenever he tried to talk to them. All his explanations and pleas were futile since he couldn't prove the truth, his words and injuries never sufficient because none of the witnesses were on his side and acted oblivious instead.

Fighting back had lead to a black eye, a bloody nose, a sprained arm and detention, him coming home in such a poor condition giving his unaware parents the shock of their lives. He spent all the way back thinking of a believable excuse for his wrecked appearance that afternoon.

Running away and hiding were gutless but also effective ways to escape that weren't going to work out today, not with his injured foot.

The only thing left that Baekhyun could currently come up with was ignoring him, one of the few methods he never used before.

It was tied with a risk, definitely, but it was worth a try even so. His situation couldn't get much worse anyway.

"Hey nerd. It surely took you a while but I'm happy to see you finally received my little present for you. Did you enjoy the special shower?" Bryan asked, his tone dangerously low and his chapped lips so close to his left ear that Baekhyun had to use all his self control to restrain himself from slapping him.

He couldn't stand his voice. Its tone was always condescending, cold and merciless.

Baekhyun stayed quiet instead of answering, biting into his tongue while staring at the half eaten sandwich on the floor. His mouth was faster than his brain whenever his emotions were all over the place, an annoying trait that has turned these kind of encounters into bigger threats than needed several times already.

"Are you deaf? Where are your sassy remarks? The weak stuttering? Your teary eyes? All those miserable noises? Am I not even going to get a 'thank you' or what? I asked you a question so show some respect and answer you wimp," Bryan growled and smacked the back of his head.

His rough hands found their way into the shorter boy's oily hair since he remained silent even after the hit, pulling with so much force that his head bent backwards. Baekhyun sank his teeth deeper into his tongue in order to prevent himself from making any sounds, already tasting blood with how much time it took Bryan to understand that he wasn't going to give him what he wanted so badly that easily today.

Once the older student got the hint he grabbed him by his shoulders, turned him around and pushed him harshly, his eyes twinkling when Baekhyun gasped once his back hit the lockers with a loud thud.

It didn't take a genius to figure out how much this psychopath enjoyed his suffering but Baekhyun was too stubborn to give in completely, too fed up to play the role of the obedient slave he always had to be in this guy's presence.

' _Keep quiet. Don't say a word. Just shut up for once in your goddamn life,'_ the teenager told himself, refusing to look into those deadly green eyes that were currently piercing through him. _'Maybe he'll leave you alone if you don't give him any reactions.. Maybe you'll finally be happy and free... Maybe it'll stop, all of this..?'_

"Really now? This is no fun. Your attitude **PISSES ME OFF!!!** " Bryan yelled and shoved his fist into the locker once more, an angry reaction that made Baekhyun jump in fear. Going against his will might have been an incredibly stupid idea. Not even talking back has ever provoked him so much.

"Making me wait for fucking half an hour and not even letting me hear your annoying voice now that I finally got you.. Looks like someone needs to teach you a lesson, huh? Well, guess what fucker," Bryan hissed before taking a hold of the younger's chin, lifting it up and smirking when his eyes that sparked with pure hatred met Baekhyun's panic-stricken gaze. "I would love to be that someone so much... you have no idea _Baekkie_."

Baekhyun's mouth twitched the moment the cringeworthy nickname left Bryan's lips. His bully has detected that this word never failed to drive him mad long ago but he balled his hands into fists and looked away, not giving him the desired reaction yet again. He would only get into another fight if he lost it now. Yeah, he might be itching to spit in Bryan's boastful face but Baekhyun knew that every combative action would be his demise. He wasn't the weakest person out there but he had no chance against him anyway, he learned that the hard way.

The teenager gulped after recalling the bloody scenes from a few months ago, finding his way back into the just as hopeless looking reality when Bryan suddenly let go of him and bent down to pick one of the sharp glass splitters up.

Baekhyun's eyes widened and he shrinked back, cursing under his breath since his locker had to be located at the very end of the hallway out of all places. He was cornered, stuck in an unlucky position that turned escaping safely into an improbable goal.

"By the way! Chicks tend to drop their panties in no time when they spot scars on a guy - speaking from personal experience if you know what I mean. Want me to help you with getting more popular as well _Baekkie_?" Bryan queried while inspecting the tiny object, a diabolic grin on his face.

"Don't ... please stop," Baekhyun begged even though breaking his silence obviously wasn't going to help anymore, his voice weak and croaky. As expected, Bryan payed no heed to his pleading and turned his face to the side before he could move his wobbly legs, a shiver running down his spine now that his right cheek was pressed against the cold metal. His heart was pounding as if it was trying to jump out of his chest and he squeezed his eyes shut, whimpering quietly when the splitter came in contact with his pale skin.

For some reason, the distressing feeling disappeared before Baekhyun got to experience any kind of pain though, a dull clinking sound telling him that the small but frightening object just fell onto the floor instead of cutting through his skin.

_'Wha..t...?'_

"The heck?! Let go of me!" Bryan screeched, the hysteric tone in his voice baffling Baekhyun so much that his watery eyes fluttered open. He wiped over his face, gaping once his clearer gaze fell onto the person that has pulled the thrashing Bryan away from him.

Baekhyun couldn't see him fully since parts of his face were covered by the hood of the black sweatshirt he was wearing but he could tell who was hiding underneath the dark fabric nevertheless.

In fact, he would have known it even if he kept his eyes closed.

The guy that came into his class a few weeks after the new semester started was pretty much the only one who cared enough to interfere after all.

His past self definitely wouldn't have believed that though.

Eye-catching peach colored hair, so tousled that it looked as if he got up minutes ago, dazzling, almond shaped eyes, fairy-like ears, that light smile, red headphones around his neck, a loose shirt combined with torn jeans and a black jacket with rolled up sleeves... It was no surprise that Park Chanyeol had all attention on him the second he walked into the classroom back then. Almost every girl fell for him right away, delighted whispers about him being the _'typical bad boy with a killer smile'_ that was _'unbelievably cute and hot at the same time'_ breaking the former silence in an instant. One of the students in front of Baekhyun even mentioned that he was _'100% boyfriend material'_ or something weird along that way, laughing at her blushing friend and wiggling her eyebrows suggestively.

Most boys stood in contrast with that general reaction from the female audience, the many displeased looks on their faces showing how envious they were.

Baekhyun couldn't share the excitement either but he had a completely different reason for his restlessness.

Chanyeol was a huge threat for him, yet another potential danger.

He was never going to forget how one quick glance at the possible new source of his problems made his heart drop, his miserable life flashing before his eyes when the new student sat down next to him since no other seat was free. Chanyeol was a good bit taller than him and therefore awfully intimidating, his deep voice was certainly going to scare the living hell out of him if he ever happened to say or do something that ticked his unwanted seatmate off and his hands were way too big to _not_ freak out over them.

Baekhyun was so convinced that this guy was going to be his end one day that it took him several weeks to acknowledge how wrong his first impression of him has been.

Instead of joining the others, harassing him as well, Chanyeol turned out to be a kind and cheerful guy that seemed to be genuinely concerned once he found out how tough Baekhyun's current situation was. He didn't believe any of the rumors spread by their classmates, fully ignoring his bright opportunity to become part of the oh so cool and popular kids. When Baekhyun asked him why he didn't try to befriend any of them, Chanyeol told him he would rather quit chewing his beloved gum (and he seriously seemed to be addicted to that stuff) than being connected to students that acted as if they were better than everyone else.

Baekhyun and him shared the same opinion.

And so, ever since that short conversation during break time, he actually started to consider getting to know him more. He was too scared for Chanyeol's well-being to actually go for it though, unable to turn the little wish his lonely heart had come up with into reality. He shouldn't drag an innocent outsider into the mess that his life was just because he was in desperate need of a real friend. And who knew, maybe he had been right all along and Chanyeol wasn't as nice as he seemed to be? Everything would become even more chaotic if his seatmate's friendliness was an act so Baekhyun decided to remain distant, assuring that he had everything under control instead.

He told him to mind his own goddamn business multiple times, too, but it looked like Chanyeol didn't get the message despite his clear choice of words. Why else would he be here now, one of his hands tugging on the squirming guy's blue shirt while the other one was holding onto his phone? Why else would he shove the device into Bryan's fuming face as if this was some kind of cheesy TV drama, the chances of anything too bad happening to him ridiculously low just because he was one of the main leads?

"Aaaand cut! Thanks for looking directly into the camera dude!! This video would be just as useless as the essay I tried writing last night if you didn't show me your ugly ass face."

Chanyeol tapped on the screen and pulled his hood down, a swift movement that revealed his unnatural hair that was as messy as always. His unsympathetic expression softened once his gaze fell onto the worn out Baekhyun in the corner, almost as if he was trying to say sorry for doing his own thing. Baekhyun only pursed his lips in response to the silent apology that wasn't going to get them out of the troublesome situation though. Sure, his cheek has stayed unharmed because of Chanyeol's mindless interference and someone showing concern was a nice change but he was putting himself in danger.

Voluntarily.

Therefore, Baekhyun clenched his teeth now that Bryan seemed to have forgotten his crazy plan, turning away in order to concentrate on Chanyeol instead. The bully raised his arm in an attempt to slap the phone out of the younger student's hand, a sudden action that remained unsuccessful because Chanyeol saw it coming. He took a few steps to the side just in time, stopping once he was close to his classmate and holding the device out of Bryan's reach to make sure that he wasn't going to get his dirty fingers on it.

Baekhyun had proof up his sleeve for the very first time if Chanyeol actually recorded the former events so it didn't surprise either of them that Bryan was trying to erase the video now. The older student knew that he was going to be in trouble if anyone got to see the recording, at least if their teachers would take this serious.

Baekhyun wasn't sure if one short video alone could put an end to the bullying though. It sounded suspiciously simple, too good to be true even, but it wasn't impossible ...

_...right?_

"Delete it before I-"

"What? Before you destroy my phone? Or even better, you gonna leave him alone and turn me into your new victim now? What you're waiting for? Go ahead and do it! I'm not scared of you," Chanyeol scoffed at him and sized Bryan up, crossing his arms afterwards. His classmate was a tiny bit taller than the older student but Baekhyun winced nevertheless, nibbling nervously on his lower lip. He shouldn't get in the way if he wanted to stay unhurt but he was about to scream and push Chanyeol away before Bryan could beat him to a bloody pulp even so.

Baekhyun was well aware of the consequences that impudence lead to after all.

He used to act the very same way in the beginning.

"I wouldn't overdo it if I were you though. One wrong word or move and I'm gonna send that video to _everyone_ I know," Chanyeol declared nonchalantly, a warning that didn't seem to impress Bryan one bit.

"Yeah, sure. You're bluffing, aren't you? I can tell. You're playing it cool but you didn't even record anything," he snorted before closing the distance in between them again, his eyes set on the phone despite the cocky claim. Chanyeol raised his left eyebrow in amusement and tapped on the screen once more, letting all three of them listen to the threatening things Bryan brought over his lips not too long ago.

Hearing his hateful voice again was just as nerve-wracking as earlier so Baekhyun averted his gaze and fumbled with the hem of his stained pullover, exhaling in relief the second Chanyeol paused the video.

The tensed silence that followed afterwards wasn't helping either though, bringing the sickening uneasiness back that Baekhyun had experienced before opening his locker.

This afternoon wasn't even close to the one he saw in his imagination. Originally, he wanted to check out the newly opened video game store at the mall, set on going there even though his foot was still aching.

Baekhyun wasn't the type to let a slight injury get in the way of such a joyful opportunity. The teenager was used enough to these unpleasant situations to make the most out of them but today has turned into a rare occasion that was more dangerous than usually thanks to his behaviour earlier.

Who knew how this would have ended if Chanyeol didn't step in?

It was probably for the best that Bryan broke the silence before Baekhyun could think more about it.

"Fine. have an offer for you then," he announced, his gaze still focused on Chanyeol's phone as if it was the most precious thing he has ever seen in his entire life. "I'm really going to leave him alone if you delete the video, how about that? I won't touch him ever again if you do it. I swear, this isn't a joke," Bryan assured, words that sounded so terribly wrong that Baekhyun's jaw dropped.

He would never give up that easily. Baekhyun had experienced his hatred against him firsthand hundreds of times already, knew that Chanyeol erasing the evidence wouldn't lead to anything good. In fact, Bryan would most likely do the exact opposite of 'anything good' either way, no matter if they kept the recording or not.

_'He's going to make you suffer.. more than ever before ...'_

It was a scary thought that left a dry taste in his mouth but this was how Baekhyun's new everyday life was going to look like if the teachers would turn a blind eye to him again. And that was the outcome of their conversations about this topic all the time so why should anything change for the better just because of one stupid video? Believing so was incredibly naive but a tiny part inside of him was clinging onto that desperate hope even under these gloomy circumstances - the dusty corner of his heart that didn't want to accept how harsh this world was despite being so damaged thanks to the huge amount of pain he was going through daily.

Baekhyun could have sworn that said part of him vanished ages ago but Chanyeol's optimistic mindset might have affected him a little bit more than expected.

They weren't living in utopia though. Real life wasn't made out of colorful flowers and beaming sunlight that reached absolutely everyone. Instead, it was full of darkness, loathing, greed and egotism. Money was more important than happiness, lust mattered more than mutual love and people cared more about success than about their mental health. Everyone had to be as flawless as humanly possible and any kind of mistake had the power to unleash a huge catastrophe, no matter how trivial it actually was.

It wasn't the first time Baekhyun found himself thinking about all these issues, coming to the same frustrating result yet again.

This world and its people were fucked up.

' _Nothing's going to change. It's been years and pretty much no one ever gave a shit about you and your feelings. Why are you forgetting the truth just because one person suddenly seems to care? You're such a moron.. They won't listen to you so don't get your hopes up for nothing. They're only going to get crushed in the end.'_ Baekhyun tried to gulp the lump in his throat down, grimacing since he couldn't get rid of the irksome tightness that seemed to suffocate him. _'This guy is an exceptional case, a pure lucky soul that didn't witness the reality yet. Nothing more. You shouldn't let him influence you. You're not like him, not even close to that.'_

In fact, there appeared to be worlds in between the two of them. Chanyeol always had all eyes on him, like a shining star that was loved by everyone while Baekhyun played the victim in his own story. But then again, it had been like that ever since he got into middle school so it was only natural that it was going to stay this way until the end.

Such a pathetic role fit him perfectly anyway.

Someone like him wasn't meant to be a star.

"I don't know what I'm going to do with a killjoy like you if you decline that generous offer though. Maybe I should listen to you and play with you as well from now on?" Bryan wondered, words that interrupted Baekhyun's self-pitying and brought him back into reality. His whole body tensed up because of the question, the hasty thoughts that were running through his mind making his head throb.

' _No ... keep him out of this ... don't.. don't hurt him too ..'_

Why was it so difficult to say that out loud?

"You're quite interesting. I think you're someone I could have lots of fun with in the future," Bryan pointed out, much to Baekhyun's dismay. This talk was going into an extremely dangerous direction but all he did was standing by, unable to say anything that could have prevented the upcoming disaster.

Funny how he always ran his mouth whenever he was outraged or flustered while fear seemed to glue his lips together.

"You're going to pay for all the unnecessary drama you've caused unless you decide to be a good boy and delete the video. Now. Right now."

Chanyeol was literally the last person that deserved the same kind of treatment as him so Baekhyun finally snapped out of his trance and closed the small distance between him and his classmate completely. He tugged on Chanyeol's hoodie since all of this was his fault for being too helpless to get out of this hellhole by himself, whispering a shaky "I ... I'm sorry" as if something that useless was going to make any difference.

His expression hardened once images of Chanyeol making the same nightmarish experiences he had to deal with almost everyday crossed his mind. This was why he kept telling him to stay away. This was also why Baekhyun hadn't allowed himself to get too close to Chanyeol despite believing that he would be a great friend ever since he realized he was anything but a threat.

Now, he could see the following weeks clearly in his head, so detailed as if they were recalled memories.

Bryan and his friends were going to dim Chanyeol's bright cheerfullness soon, followed by his significant smile that seemed to warm everyone's heart.

Just because of him.

"Don't be," Chanyeol mumbled subtly, his eyes set on Bryan but his left thumb brushing Baekhyun's trembling arm soothingly. Said male was about to protest since he had tons of reasons to apologize but Chanyeol continued talking before he got the chance to do so.

"Not sure if your definition of fun matches mine but I'm in! Y'know, I'm rather playing the villain if I gotta delete the video in order to be good. I'm rooting for the bad guys most of the time anyway so I dun really mind," he explained with a shrug of his shoulders. "Just do both of us a favor and fuck off before I lose it. And trust me, that's not something you wanna happen."

_'You're too reckless ... playing with fire as if you're seriously believing it's not going to burn you',_ Baekhyun thought, cold sweat breaking out on his forehead now that he was picturing how terrifying the aftermath of this dreadful day could look like. His brain came up with hundreds of violent scenes within seconds, pictures that only disappeared once he noticed that Bryan was stepping closer again.

Baekhyun looked up despite knowing that he was going to regret the movement, his heart missing a beat when their eyes met.

Everything around him seemed to freeze in this exact moment.

_'Holy.. holy fuck ....'_

That was it. This was going to be his end.

For real this time.

Yes, he witnessed how frightening Bryan could be whenever he was full of rage several times already but this.. this was a whole new level of scary. Baekhyun had never seen such a pitch-dark glint in anyone's eyes. It looked unreal, as if an evil spirit has possessed the person that was currently standing in front of him. The horrifying image carved itself into his mind, was so bewitching that he couldn't avert his gaze despite wanting nothing more.

The color drained out of Baekhyun's face when Bryan showed him his demonic grin once again. He would have collapsed to the floor if he didn't hold onto Chanyeol's sweatshirt with all his remaining strength, so tightly that his nails were digging into his skin even through the fabric.

"Okay, it's settled then. And you should look forward to our next meeting as well _Baekkie_ ," Bryan muttered with a gruff tone in his voice. Baekhyun tried to ignore both, his rapidly increasing heartbeat and the wave of nausea that was overtaking him.

_'Go.. go away ... I.. I'm... I don't.. don't want to ...'_

"I'll make sure that you're going to remember it for the rest of your pitiful life."

_'No...'_

Baekhyun shut his eyes close and pressed his forehead against Chanyeol's back the very second Bryan finally left them alone, chewing on his inner cheeks now that his whole body was shaking.

_'... not.. not again ... please..'_

Blood was pounding in his ears and his face was burning hot, his breathing disturbingly shallow even though the tightness around his throat was already crawling downwards in order to attack his thumping heart next.

_'I.. I can't... I'm ...'_

Who was he even kidding? He didn't have anything under control. This wasn't normal anymore.

Alone thinking about school made his stomach churn, he has spent break time locked inside the bathroom instead of facing the mocking pupils more than once already and sometimes, it was so acute that he skipped classes as well.

Him, the top student that was known for his once so perfect attendance rate.

It was probably only a matter of time until his grades would drop, too.

No, nothing was alright.

_'...this.. too much... I.. it's...'_ Baekhyun shuddered, Bryan's hateful face flashing into his mind without any warning jolting him. _'Leave me alone.. stop.. just... stop ...'_

"Baekhyun? You okay?"

He blinked, his seatmate's deep voice making him remember that he wasn't alone.

That he wasn't the only one who had to walk through hell starting from now on, not anymore.

That it wouldn't have come so far if he succeeded in keeping this guy out of his life, if he was more determined instead of giving in and letting Chanyeol have his way.

"I.. I'm ... I di..dn't.. I'm ..." Baekhyun buried his face deeper in the surprisingly sweet smelling fabric and let out a quiet sob. His chest was still rising and falling with rapid breaths, his lips quivering so much that he barely brought the words out.

"..s..sor...ry ..." he eventually stammered and shook his head violently when Chanyeol tried to turn around upon receiving yet another apology, grasping his sweatshirt before his classmate got any chance to take a look at him.

This was fucking embarrassing.

He simply would have rolled his eyes, cleaned the mess up and headed home if something like this happened a few months ago but now that his whole body has grown so sensitive towards this place and the daily occurrences he couldn't think clearly, was forced to fight back tears yet again even though the whole drama should leave him cold.

"I told you, no need to be. You didn't do anything wrong Baekhyun," Chanyeol repeated, hesitating for a few moments before he continued. "And.. uhh... don't know 'bout you but I usually feel much better after crying... so.. if you're keeping it in just because of me... don't. I'm not gonna make fun of you. And I'm not gonna look either."

Baekhyun stiffened and took in a sharp breath.

_'Stop being so kind.. please... I don't deserve-'_

"Pinky promise."

_'... you.'_

Baekhyun opened his eyes and turned his head, his gaze set on Chanyeol's pinky finger that pointed towards him.

_'How the hell am I supposed to keep pushing you away when you're nice to me no matter what I do or say?'_ Baekhyun wondered, his heart continuing to beat so irregularly that he wouldn't be surprised if Chanyeol could hear or even _feel_ it.

Maybe he should actually give it a try instead of holding onto his old plan...? Would it be okay now that he couldn't protect him from getting hurt as well any longer? Was he allowed to accept his kindness, to be this selfish, to let it all out? And could he really trust him without having to be scared that he was going to regret it sooner or later, without fearing that Chanyeol was going to leave invisible wounds behind that hurt more than physical ones ever could?

What if he was about to make yet another huge mistake?

"Or I'll just go? I mean, ehh.. I'm kinda.. wanted to help but I feel like I only made it worse ... N' maybe I'm a total idiot and you actually like being alo-"

"no .." Baekhyun whispered quietly, the thought of Chanyeol leaving him all alone in this cold place frightening enough to make a decision despite the chaos inside his head.

_'I'm ... I don't.. I'm freaking... freaking sick of being.. an outsider ...'_

Carefully, he moved his hand forward until it brushed Chanyeol's, his vision becoming blurry for the nth time today when his classmate intertwined their pinky fingers with a kind of gentleness he didn't remember experiencing ever before.

And this time, he didn't hold his tears back any longer.


	2. Snow, cotton candy and lots of butterflies

 "You don't have to accompany me. I'm better again, really," Baekhyun assured when Chanyeol handed him his half-empty plastic cup of hot chocolate after sitting down next to him. He was more calm by now but he felt so exhausted that he saw himself falling asleep on the ride home despite the extreme uneasiness that washed over him whenever he was surrounded by a big group of people.

"But I wanna," his classmate insisted, staying by his side instead of getting out of the cram-full bus. Baekhyun wouldn't have admitted it but deep inside, he was thanking him for not listening to the words he said out of politeness only.

For some reason, Chanyeol's presence suddenly seemed to provide him with safety, emitted a pleasant warmth Baekhyun couldn't quite explain.

He only knew he didn't want them to separate for real, not yet at least.

"It's just, whenever I see ya all by yourself I get hella sa- uhhh, no, ehh I'm.. like, uhm, I'm- I mean," Chanyeol stopped himself and averted his gaze the moment Baekhyun gave him a curious look, clearing his throat before going on. "I.. I think I should... dunno .. eh, stay.. stay by your side maybe ..? Y-yeah, just in case that more shit happens to you ... or so," he explained hesitantly, still not daring to look at Baekhyun. Said male decided to let it be since his classmate's company wasn't actually bothering him anyway, took a few more gulps of the warming drink and plugged his earphones into his battered phone. Then, he snuggled into Chanyeol's hoodie - he figured out that it smelled like cotton candy by now - and closed his eyes that were swollen from crying.

Baekhyun has been trembling like a leaf on their way to the nearest bus stop but he still couldn't believe that his classmate simply pulled his sweatshirt over his head without any word, giving it to him as if stripping in the middle of the street wasn't a big deal.

(Okay, he was wearing another shirt underneath of course but that didn't change the fact that normal people wouldn't do such questionable things in freaking _public_ , where everyone could see them.)

His shivering didn't stop even after he put on the additional piece of clothing so Chanyeol bought the hot chocolate that tasted like heaven in a nearby café. Baekhyun was so unused to such sweet gestures that his first reaction has been stunned silence, followed by a quiet "You didn't have to."

No _'thank you'._

The drained teenager dozed off a few minutes after emptying his cup, scrunching up his face when an upbeat song woke him up again. He rubbed the sleep out of his eyes and tapped on the shuffle button until his favorite track started playing, one quick look out of the window making him pout. The disgusting low temperature today would have been bad enough but it was snowing by now, too, so Baekhyun could only puff up his cheeks and release a sigh.

He would never understand why winter was generally known as the best time of the year. Sure, he wasn't going to complain about the few weeks away from school and hot chocolate made the cold season more bearable but that was about it.

He would rather bath in the warm and beaming sunlight than walk through awfully muddy and slippery streets, all that with a runny nose and red cheeks. The crunchy noise that snow made whenever you stepped on it was terribly maddening as well, incomparable to the soothing sound of waves crashing on the beach that never failed to put him at ease.

Not to forget the unsurpassable feeling of sand between his toes.. Or the delightful taste of strawberry ice cream on his tongue... Or the scent of sunscreen on his unusual tanned skin ....

Baekhyun narrowed his eyes when he spotted a tiny snowflake that crushed his vision of a perfect summer day in the most brutal way possible.

_'Ugh. Freaking annoying.'_

"Woahhh.. so pretty ..."

Winter person detected.

Baekhyun pulled his right earphone out and turned his head to the side, unable to detatch himself from the captivating sight right next to him. Chanyeol was gazing out of the window, just like him a few seconds ago. Baekhyun's displeased face while doing so was absolutely nothing compared to his seatmate's expression right now though. His slightly parted lips that were curving into a wider smile the longer he stared made him look like an innocent child that was watching how snowflakes were dancing in the sky for the first time in its life.

Baekhyun focused on Chanyeol's sparkly eyes, his gaze lingering there a tiny bit longer than needed. Not that it was his fault. The dazzling glimmer inside them was the only thing he would describe as _'pretty'_ at the moment so why should he not go ahead and admire it?

No wonder that basically all his female classmates seemed to have a crush on this guy.

His eyes were dangerously mesmerizing.

"Pretty...? More like ugly as hell. Winter can kindly back the fuck off, that cold motherfucker just can't win against summer," Baekhyun eventually stated and yawned, raising a brow since Chanyeol started to rummage in his pockets instead of keeping the conversation going like he usually would.

Once his seatmate found what he has been looking for he passed him the small object silently. Baekhyun stared at the stick of gum wrapped in orange paper for several seconds straight before he took it into his hand and sniffed, the tropical smell making his mouth water.

And this time, he wasn't going to forget it. Thanking him was the least he could do.

"Tha- wah!?"

Baekhyun almost dropped the gum when Chanyeol suddenly leaned forward until his nose was only centimeters apart from the window glass, stiffening since one of the taller's once so terrifying hands brushed his left thigh in the process.

"uh.. why.. what ... what are you .. doing," Baekhyun stuttered, his classmate's sweet scent that seemed to be literally _everywhere_ now that they were so damn close clouding up his mind.

What kind of freaking shower gel, body lotion, deodorant or cologne did this guy use?

_Disgustingly delicious?_

_Better sweet than sorry?_

_Trapped inside a candy shop?_

_Sweet seduction??_

Eventually, Baekhyun stopped coming up with ridiculous names and followed the hasty movements of Chanyeol's right index finger on the fogged-up pane instead, struggling with holding back his laughter once he finally realized what the weird shape was supposed to represent.

The brightly smiling sun that his classmate was working on with so much concentration that his tongue was peeking out of his mouth was adorable, sure, but it also looked as if the artist was around six years old.

"Nothing compared to the real one but shining just for you," Chanyeol gushed once he was satisfied with the result and sat back down on his seat. Baekhyun was so occupied with inspecting the finished 'masterpiece' that he didn't pay much attention to him anymore, the corners of his mouth quirking up when he took a picture of it.

Yet another bully...?

Damn, his first impression _really_ couldn't have been more wrong.

 

 

 

 

Orange, mango and kiwi.

Baekhyun found out that the chewing gum Chanyeol gave him didn't only smell like summer but also tasted like it right after shoving the delicious piece of candy in his mouth.

It was early evening by now and he was sitting on the window sill inside his room, much more refreshed after the needed shower, dinner and a short nap. The snowfall that turned the scenery in front of him into a white winter wonderland didn't quite fit the tropical taste on his tongue though. Not even the many smiling suns he kept tracing onto the glass seemed to be able to change the strong contrast between his senses. 

Baekhyun pressed his forehead on the cold window, keeping a straight face while staring at the piled up snow that was shimmering in the dim light of a streetlamp nearby. Now that he was examining it so closely he had to admit that Chanyeol's comment actually made sense, kinda. However, Baekhyun couldn't tell if this was a good or a bad discovery. Him acting this way was more than strange in general but he didn't budge even so, stayed still despite being fully aware of his unusual behaviour.

His mom would think he caught a serious cold in case that she came in only to find him in such an unusual state.

Months ago, he used to study, play video games or read a book during this time. These days, his evenings were filled with him worrying about school until he was close to throwing up, unable to distract himself from the overwhelmingly negative thoughts inside his head.

And tonight?

_...well._

He had more than one reason to be concerned about tomorrow thanks to everything that happened this afternoon but there was something completely different on his mind instead.

Something much better.

He grabbed his phone and reread the messages Chanyeol sent him a good while ago for the nth time. His classmate knew his number because he was the only person that Baekhyun had considered as approachable when he caught the flu a while ago and needed to inform himself about everything he missed during his absence.

They didn't exchange any messages ever since he let the conversation die on purpose, something that changed a couple of hours ago.

 

_⌜ Seatmate ⌝ ¹⁷ ⁰³_

_Hey Baekhyun! Hope ur doing well~_

 

_⌜ Seatmate ⌝ ¹⁷ ⁰³_

_Just messaging u cause I wanted to_

_tell u that I meant sth else earlier^^_

 

_⌜ Seatmate ⌝ ¹⁷ ⁰³_

_Okay sooo... this is gonna sound_

_hella weird now lol_

 

_⌜ Seatmate ⌝ ¹⁷ ⁰⁵_

_I don't like seeing ya all by yourself..?_

_Idk why but it makes me sad :c And_

_you had me pretty worried earlier, ngl.._

_So I didn't want chu to go home alone_

_(ノ﹏ヽ)_

 

_⌜ Seatmate ⌝ ¹⁷ ¹⁰_

_Also!!! (Not sure if I'm annoying u?_

_Just tell me if I do pls!)_

 

_⌜ Seatmate ⌝ ¹⁷ ¹⁰_

_This was like the first time ever I_

_saw such a huuuuge smile on ur_

_face!!_

 

_⌜ Seatmate ⌝ ¹⁷ ¹⁰_

_Looked cute af, srsly ≧◡≦ ♡_

 

_'Oh my God.'_

Baekhyun giggled and covered his reddening cheeks with the sweater paws of Chanyeol's hoodie. It wasn't completely clean anymore thanks to his oily hair but that hadn't stopped him from putting it on again after his shower - and it looked great combined with his favorite grey sweatpants.

(Not according to his mom judging from the displeased look she gave him when he walked past her after coming home but he begged to differ.)

Him still wearing it could also have to do with the fact that his seatmate's large shirt was simply too cozy to _not_ drown in it while he still had the chance to do so though. And maybe, Baekhyun was secretely hoping that the taller would forget about it since he would be able to keep it in that case.

Just maybe.

He read the last message again, the corners of his mouth turning up right afterwards. _Cute_. Most guys would probably get offended after receiving such a compliment but Baekhyun couldn't be happier about it. No one apart from a few family members have ever called him cute. Some of his schoolmates even kept telling him how unattractive and hideous his smile looked like so it was probably only natural that he almost lost it somewhere along the way.

He might try ruining their days by flashing a bright smile at all of them tomorrow though.

Annoying them on purpose sounded so much more satisfying than letting them have their way again after all.

Seriously, how could he just allow them to do whatever the hell they wanted for such a painful long time? When did he become such a timid weakling, letting his fear take over control? This kind of unhealthy submission had to end as soon as possible. He already thought about how to achieve said aim, asking Chanyeol for the life-saving video so that those useless teachers could see the demanded evidence in all its glory and freaking choke on it only one of his many ideas.

Yeah, things were looking surprisingly better now that his long lost fighting spirit was finally returning but there was one tiny problem even so.

More than an hour passed but Baekhyun hasn't replied to any of Chanyeol's messages yet.

He might have enough of acting like he didn't want to have anything to do with him any longer, was finally ready for them to become more than just seatmates now that Chanyeol has proved that he didn't want to cause any harm countless times but Baekhyun had no idea how to let him know about his changed feelings without sounding like a desperate airhead.

He only got a decent idea while looking through one of his beloved comic books.

 

 

 

 

_'F'real now..?'_

Chanyeol stared at the surprisingly long text that sounded as if it came straight out of one of his dreams, rubbing his eyes to make sure that he wasn't seeing things. But no matter how often he blinked, the message didn't change. Baekhyun hasn't sent him a _'Haha, just kidding! Late April Fools!'_ either, not yet at least.

So was this actually happening? No joke?

He shook his head while trying to suppress a triumphant smile without any success, so lost in his own world that he didn't notice how his little sister gave him a suspicious look from across the table.

' _What even... he's.. I'm.. I didn't... oh gosh ...'_

How could he just attack him like that?! Not giving him the cold shoulder like usually, showing him such a precious smile that melted his heart completely and sending him such a beautiful message that made those goddamn butterflies so crazy that he wouldn't be surprised if he flied straight up to cloud nine in the next few moments ... Was that even legal? Baekhyun literally didn't say anything abnormal but here he was, freaking out as if-

"Uh.. Channie?"

"Wahh!!"

Chanyeol jumped in his chair, his phone slipping out of his hands. He could only watch how it dropped on the table and almost knocked over his glass of water, sighing in relief since it didn't fall _into_ it because that was exactly how he lost his previous phone. He could really do without experiencing the same tragedy once more.

Yoomi was standing right next to him within seconds but Chanyeol grabbed the device with both of his hands right before she could snatch it, shaking his head. "Nope!! Don't even think 'bout it!"

"But you have a girlfriend, don't you? And you didn't tell me," Yoomi complained and folded her arms, stamping her foot. Chanyeol snorted because her new light up shoes combined with the pink fluffy dress only made her look awfully cute, not threatening.

She interpreted his weird reaction to the message wrongly, too, but he couldn't blame her. He probably looked like some insane fangirl that saw her favorite band member shirtless for the very first time while staring at Baekhyun's text so her thinking only made sense.

"Nah, not really.. So don't gimme that look, 'kay? It's not what you're thinking Cutie," Chanyeol made clear, grimacing when his gaze fell onto her Disney alarm clock.

Still more than half an hour left until he could leave this place. Time didn't want to pass quickly here, no matter how much he enjoyed her company.

Things just weren't the same anymore.

"Yeah, suuure. So, since when are you two together?" Yoomi questioned, making him sigh yet again because she was ignoring his words completely. "And what's her name? Her hair color.. wait no, just show me a picture! Pretty please?" she begged and climbed onto his lap, trying to remove his fingers from the phone once she was sitting on top of him. A fragile little girl like her couldn't win against her six years older brother though so she wasn't able to free the device no matter how much strength she used. "Ugh, you're being unfair Channie", she whined and puffed up her cheeks, not giving up despite knowing how useless it was. "It just _has_ to be a girlfriend! Why else would you act like the guys in movies when they're madly in love?? I mean, you didn't forget what day today is, right?" she asked, missing how Chanyeol's face dropped the very moment the dreadful question left her lips. "You're smiling like crazy even though d-"

"Yoomi. Stop right here. Don't remind me, for fuck's sake."

The girl straightened up, letting go of her brother's hands as if the sudden and uncommon harshness in Chanyeol's voice has burned her. Yoomi looked up at him with wide eyes, obviously regretting that she brought up the topic when she caught a glimpse of the pained expression she hated so much. Him not using one of her many nicknames was anything but normal, too.

Chanyeol balled his hands into fists and took in a deep breath, closing his eyes as if he could escape the ugly memories that were already coming for him that way. He might not even make it through those 30 minutes anymore now but he knew he had to pull himself together so he pressed a light kiss on Yoomi's forehead, not giving her any chance to apologize for something she shouldn't be sorry for in the first place. "Ssh... that look's worse than the one you gave me before Bambi", he whispered and petted her head. "I didn't say anything, okay? Let's just act as if this never happened. Would be better for both of us."

He unlocked his phone when she nodded eagerly and tapped on Baekhyun's profile picture, finally handing the device over to her. Maybe, he simply had to reveal the mysterious secret in order to erase the tension his unwanted slip-up has caused. 

Really, the only one who should be sorry here was him.

"Oh.. oopsie. No girlfriend," Yoomi chuckled, shrieking because Chanyeol squeezed her upon hearing that.

"Of course not!! Jeez, I told ya right away! That's Baekhyun n' he's my seatmate," Chanyeol explained, even showing her the message after thinking it through for a few seconds. She was going to ask him what happened for sure and the full story wasn't exactly suitable for kids but he could tell that she was still feeling uneasy and he would do literally anything to cheer her up again - even if he had to use all his imagination to make up a child friendly tale for he in order to achieve said goal.

"Well, now friend, actually," he added and read the text one final time, starting to write his reply.

_'...n' I guess you could say I kinda have a crush on him but I'm not gonna tell ya anything 'bout **that** ,' _ Chanyeol thought and shoved the phone back into his pocket after the message got delivered. _'Not yet.'_

That was a story for another day.

 

_⌜ Baekhyun (⁎˃ᆺ˂) ⌝ ¹⁹ ²¹_

_You might have been the villain in his_

_eyes but you were more of a hero to_

_me so thank you for everything, really._

_But don't even dare to think that I'm_

_some freaking damsel in distress. I'm_

_going to be my own hero from now on_

_so you don't have to save my ass every_

_single time. Being alone can be hella_

_lonely sometimes though, not gonna lie._

_And since it tends to make both of us_

_sad.. you could become my sidekick..._

_ally... or friend or something like that_

_maybe? What do you think?~_

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh boi. Someone caught feelings.  
> It's so freaking hot here rn.. I wish we had snow, too *sigh* not a summer person at all. I'm team Chanyeol here haha^^  
> I can't really explain why (at least not without spoilers :3) but the next two chapters are really dear to me so I hope you guys will like them as well >//<
> 
> ...I also hope you liked this one of course!!


	3. Game Over

* * *

「 _Friday, 3 July 2018_ 」

* * *

 

_"Split in 1945 ... Korean War.. also known as 'Forgotten War'.. June 25th 1950.. to July 27th .. 1953... or so," Baekhyun mumbled to himself, so lost in the concerning high amount of dates and facts that he almost forgot to grab his books before heading towards the classroom._

_History could only be described as a pain in the ass. Subjects like math and physics have never been a huge challenge for him since he simply had to understand their basic concepts in order to get those perfect grades his parents demanded of him but history was all about memorizing numbers and past happenings he couldn't care less about._

_The only reason why Baekhyun has been studing so much the past few weeks was because his coldhearted parents threatened to take his freaking gaming PC away if he didn't get another stupid A, literally forcing him to cram for the idiotic test by doing so._

' _Fuck this shit I'm so fucking done and it's not even fucking eight am for fuck's sake,' Baekhyun cursed silently and slammed his locker's door shut, jerking back when he noticed that someone was standing next to him since he didn't expect anyone else to be in school this early in the morning._

_His eyes widened once he realized **who** the student was, the young male's gaze so piercing that Baekhyun tightened his grip on his books and pressed them closer to his chest._

_The wish to be able to turn invisible became immensely huge now that one of the school's biggest troublemakers was leaning against the lockers and stared at him like a predator, ready to attack its prey._

_Baekhyun didn't have to take a guess to be able to tell why he suddenly caught Bryan's interest after years of being spared but jeez, the only angry person here should be **him**._

_His classmates were already starting to avoid him more than before just because he decided to be honest while that freaking bitch got away so why the hell did she have to worsen the whole situation by bringing in her aggressive brother? Wasn't it enough yet? Didn't she have anything better to do? Why was she so obsessed with him?_

  _Baekhyun rolled his eyes but he stepped closer despite his rising annoyance._

  _Whatever. Exposing her has been an exceptionally stupid thing to do but it's not like he committed a crime._

_"Uhm. Hi ...?"_

_"Don't fucking 'hi' me you dwarf," Bryan ordered, his tone so harsh that Baekhyun huffed. Of course he couldn't hold a normal conversation with someone like Bryan, especially not now that the elder was onto him._

_This guy didn't come here to talk._

_He was looking for a fight._

_"Well, excuse me for trying to be poli-"_

_Bryan grabbed him by the throat and shoved him against the wall before he could finish the sentence, his sharp nails digging deeply into his skin when Baekhyun started to squirm in order to free himself from the alarmingly tight grip._

_"Y_ _ou better stop it midget. I_ _'ll choke you to death if you keep moving," he hissed, gloating over the weak whimper that left Baekhyun's lips after he squeezed his neck with even more force. The smirk on Bryan's face looked so wicked that Baekhyun dropped his books without a second thought._

_"Sorry to.. disappoint... you.. but I don't... li..ike ... being to..ld what.. to ... d-do.." he croaked and tried to punch his attacker but failed miserably, gasping for air when Bryan let go of his neck only to pin his clenched fists against the wall instead._

_"Aww, how adorable. You think you have a choice?" he purred and leaned closer until he was invading his personal space completely, his cologne so sharp that Baekhyun screwed up his face in disgust. "I'm not planning to waste my whole morning on you so you better obey before I beat the crap out of you," the older student grumbled, grinning triumphantly since Baekhyun finally gave up and stopped fidgeting upon hearing that._

_The problem wasn't even that he couldn't fight back anymore now that Bryan was holding both of his wrists in place. He could still kick or bite him if he really wanted to go so far after all. But Baekhyun wasn't going to risk it, not when something as trivial as talking back got him into the unfortunate position in the first place._

_Sometimes, the wiser head had to give in._

_"No one. Absolutely no. one. harms my precious little sister and gets away with it," Bryan whispered, his grip still so strong that Baekhyun could only imagine how red and irritated his skin had to be at this point. "I'm going to show you that you messed with the wrong person you little shit."_

_Villains he used to be afraid of as a child... Evil masterminds he couldn't help admiring despite their wrongdoings and insane plans ..._

_The pure hate that was currently blazing in Bryan's eyes put nearly all of them to shame._

_And there was another significant difference, too._

_This wasn't a made up story you could find in a book or movie. It wasn't some bad written fanfiction by an amateur either._

_This was his reality._

_'July 3rd 2018...' Baekhyun thought, keeping his mouth shut even after Bryan finally freed his burning wrists and mumbled something about picking him up once classes were over._

_'The day my life changed forever.'_

_At least one date he wasn't going to forget right after the test._

 

 

 

 

* * *

 「 _Wednesday, 11 November 2018_ 」

* * *

 

"No."

"You ... you're not going to watch it?"

"Exactly."

Baekhyun and Chanyeol decided to stop by the staff room right in the morning to make sure that Bryan had to face the consequences of his actions as soon as possible but at this rate, he might get away yet again even though he crossed the line by far. The two of them couldn't have been turned down more directly after all. 

Baekhyun had no idea what the older student would do in case that he wasn't going to get punished for his behaviour but his revenge for yesterday was going to be incredibly hurtful, that was for sure.

He  _had_  to stop him.

"But-"

"How many times do I have to repeat myself Baekhyun? Shouldn't you understand something this simple without asking again and again? You're literally my best student. No means no," Mr Myung enunciated and walked towards the table in the corner of the room, grabbing a pot of coffee and one of the many cups that were standing right next to it. The middle aged man seemed to be more focused on his drink than on his troubled students, humming while pouring the dark liquid into the cup as if they didn't tell him how utterly dangerous one of their schoolmates was just now.

Baekhyun tightened his grip on his phone, the built up frustration inside him starting to boil. He lost count of how many times he went inside this stupid room just to be told to leave again, his problems being ignored no matter how acute they were.

"Mr Myung, I'm begging you!! Please listen to me this one ti-" 

He stopped Baekhyun with a wave of his hand and shook his head. "I'm your class teacher, not your counsellor. You guys should be old enough to settle it amongst yourselves," he pointed out and turned towards a younger female teacher with wavy brown hair that Baekhyun has never seen before, drinking his coffee and laughing while talking to her.

The whole situation was so ridiculous that he would have laughed as well if his life wasn't at stake.

"Such a bastard," Chanyeol mumbled and snapped his gum loudly even though they were surrounded by teachers, obviously giving zero fucks about the punishment he might receive for chewing the forbidden and oh so devilish candy in school. 

These 'responsible' adults reacted whenever they caught a student breaking that pointless rule of course.

But bullying ...?

Pff, why should they bother?

"Can I try as well?" his seatmate questioned and turned his head towards Baekhyun, a movement so quick that his eyes were barely visible now that his peachy hairstrands covered them almost completely. "Dunno, maybe he'll change his mind if someone else talks to him or so."

Baekhyun continued watching the two lovebirds, snorting when the woman complimented their teacher on his appearance while clinging to his arm. He was wearing an ugly striped polo shirt combined with light-brown khaki pants that couldn't look more dull. Same for his round glasses and his black hair that was parted in the middle. That female teacher either had awful taste in both, men  _and_  clothes or she was so desperate that she would take literally any guy.

"Sure. I strongly recommend asking our teachers for help if you're looking for a quick but useful way to lose all faith in humanity so go ahead and let him crush your hopes. I'll wait," Baekhyun eventually answered with a shrug of his shoulders. "But be warned, it hurts quite a lot if you're not used to being disappointed. Just that you know."

Chanyeol scrunched up his nose upon hearing those disheartening words but he stepped forward even so, swallowing the gum and shoving his hands inside the pockets of his black jeans before addressing their class teacher.

"Mr Myung? Do you have a moment?"

"Not you too. Is it really that difficult to understand? I don't have time for your childish quarrels," the man sighed and gave the female teacher an apologetic look, actually having the nerve to act as if hearing him out counted as hard work even though it wouldn't cost much energy nor time if he kept his mouth shut and focused instead of complaining non-stop.

This was exactly why Baekhyun rather would have left. It shouldn't be like this, definitely not, but apparently, their teachers were going to downplay all his issues as long as he was attending this goddamn school.

They expected him to suck it all up.

"Childish?" Chanyeol repeated and pushed his hair back away from his face, confusion visible in his furrowed eyebrows. "Not to be rude but did you even listen ...? The coffee could've burned his skin! And what if the glass bottle hit him?"

Baekhyun wasn't surprised when Mr Myung stayed silent. He kept glancing at the female teacher instead of paying attention to Chanyeol so the teenager could easily guess what was going on inside the man's head.

_'None of these things actually happened so it doesn't count as a problem. Just do me a favor and leave the two of us alone. I'm trying to get laid tonight and you're ruining my plans.'_

Freaking disgusting.

"He shoved him against the lockers! And that wasn't just a light push - I mean, I wasn't anywhere near them yet but heard it n' almost got the shock of my life!!" Chanyeol continued once he understood that Mr Myung wan't going to answer the question anytime soon, his words reminding Baekhyun that he totally forgot asking why his seatmate still had been at school that late. "He hit him, provoked him, tried to cut his cheek, threatened both of us ... and you're callin' that childish?!" his classmate asked, not receiving any reply yet again.

Baekhyun shifted from one foot to the other, wondering why he was still trying despite getting nothing but silence as response. Chanyeol could tell Mr Myung that Bryan tried pushing him out of the window or attacked him with a sharp knife and he would continue sipping his coffee as if he informed him about the weather and not about the concerning level of brutality one of his students had to deal with because of a silly mistake he made months ago.

Staring at a plain wall would be more productive than continuing this one-sided conversation. They were only wasting their time.

"Let's go," Baekhyun sighed and tugged on his classmate's white hoodie, already thinking about what to do next since plan A obviously wasn't going to work out. "This is useless."

Chanyeol, however, didn't seem to be ready to give up yet.

"Can't you just watch it real quick? Pretty please? It's only a few seconds long an-"

"And shouldn't exist because smartphone use in school is banned."

_'The freaking fuck did that fucking shitface just fucking say?!'_  Baekhyun let go and stared at their teacher in disbelief. Sure, he got used to their crap at some point but the absurdity of his comment shocked him even so. This jerk always asked for evidence and now that he finally had the opportunity to watch a video that documented the ugly truth with all its violence he didn't care because of  _one_  stupid rule that didn't make any sense considering how important and useful technology has become? How else was he supposed to prove what was going on then??

"You're allowed to carry phones around for emergency purposes but that doesn't mean that you can record videos as you please," Mr Myung elaborated, his tone so harsh that a couple of curious teachers turned their heads towards them. "You should be thankful that I'm not confiscating it so you better drop this topic before I change my mind. I don't want you to mention anything about it ever again. That goes for  _you_  too of course," he added and pointed towards Baekhyun.

The teenager strenghtened his grip on the phone and pressed his lips together so that none of the countless insults and nasty swear words that were currently running through his head could accidentally slip out of his mouth.

He looked down, a sudden idea flashing through his mind when his gaze fell onto the broken screen of the device in his hands.

Why not giving it a try? He didn't have anything to lose anyway.

_'You want me to shut up? Fine with me. I'll leave the talking to someone else then,'_ Baekhyun thought and unlocked his phone without wasting any more time. Then, he selected the video that Chanyeol sent him last evening, turning his volume all the way up before pressing play.

The ear-piercing bang that broke the former quietness startled everyone but Baekhyun. He didn't even flinch when Bryan started yelling, a reaction that couldn't differ more from his response to the bully's actions yesterday.

But that hasn't been the real him. He was more than the trembling little boy everyone could see now that he was holding his phone up into the air, much more. Yes, this unpleasant role had been his for quite a while already but who the hell said that it had to stay this way until the bitter end for real?

It simply meant that it was about damn time for a change.

And this day should be the starting point of said change.

Mr Myung's eyes bored into him but Baekhyun blinked innocently, feigning ignorance. "What's the problem Sir?" he asked, unable to supress a cheeky smile when the teacher's right eye twitched in anger.

"I didn't say a word."

 

 

 

  
"Attention please!! This is Mr Kwang, your vice principal."

_'Holy fuck it's getting serious,'_  Baekhyun realized, completely missing how the pencil he dropped after getting surprised by the loud school bell rolled off his desk and fell to the floor. He was so focused on listening that he didn't notice how Chanyeol who was sitting left to him bent down in order to pick it up either.

The vice principal rarely made these types of announcements himself so this one could only be related to him.

Mr Myung has been seconds away from kicking Chanyeol and him out but a small group of teachers took Baekhyun aside before he could do so, asking him to show them the full video after all the fuss he caused. To his surprise, they watched the entire thing, giving him serious looks and promising to take action once it ended.

At first, Baekhyun had no idea how to respond, staring back with wide eyes. He waited for them to burst into laughter, expected them to tell him that they were only joking and couldn't care less about his problematic situation but none of that happened.

It could be seen as a long needed step in the right direction.

However, Baekhyun was only going to be able to relax completely once he could head to school without a wave of negative emotions overpowering him the moment he entered the building, once he didn't have to be scared for his life whenever he walked into one of the many students that hated his guts, once he didn't have to count the minutes until he could finally make a run for it and take comfort in playing a thrilling game or reading a book - snuggled up in a fluffy blanket of course.

"I'm expecting the following students at my office today: Allinson Bryan and Byun Baekhyun.  **Unscathed** ," Mr Kwang informed the pupils, the last word so mighty that it shut up everyone who has been talking despite the obvious importance of this announcement.

Baekhyun drew his lower lip between his teeth after he heard his name, blocking the many eyes out that seemed to pierce through him. He would have loved to witness Bryan's reaction but the elder would certainly pay no heed to the vice principal's words and bite his head off if they were in the same class. Being anywhere new Bryan while he threw one of his typical temper tantrums was life-endangering, especially when you happened to be the reason for his anger.

"The three of us are going to discuss the problem starting from nine fifteen am. And before you complain about your break being taken away, this talk is going to take us quite a while so you're released from your following classes until further notice. The involved teachers are already aware."

_'What.. I'm ... oh my God. This.. this is ... it's actually happening..?'_  Baekhyun pinched his arm just to make sure that he wasn't dreaming, covering his mouth with his left palm in order to hide the wide smile on his face.  _'Damn, pull yourself together. Nothing is decided yet.'_

Still, he possessed the proof he always needed so things were looking quite well. No one would dare to lay a finger on him now that such a powerful person demanded to see him alive and in one piece. Not even  _Bryan_  would risk hurting him once he calmed down and remembered who had the upper hand since yesterday - unless he wanted to watch the world burn and get into more trouble of course.

"Sorry for the interruption and thank you for listening."

Chaos broke out the very next moment.

"What did you do this time Byun, huh? Aren't you tired of it? Why are you always so damn thirsty for drama??" Geun, one of his classmates that had a huge crush on Rebecca, shouted the second the announcement ended. "I swear to God, you're such a greedy attention whore!"

_'Oh hell no. Forget it bitch, I'm not going to give you the satisfaction_ , _'_  Baekhyun replied in his mind and rolled his eyes when a tiny but hard object hit the back of his head. He kept his cool despite Geun's laughable attempt to provoke him, resisting the urge to pick the harmless weapon up. Throwing it right back might be extremely tempting but it wasn't worth the punishment.

"Hello ...? Hey, what the hell? I'm talking to you! Byun!! Answer me!!!"

"Who's the attention whore now fucker," Baekhyun muttered under his breath, a quiet comment that made Chanyeol snicker.

" **Silence!!!** " Mrs Lee yelled before the situation could escalate more, so loudly that several students jumped in their seats. "Geun, one word more and you'll get detention. Also, everyone who keeps disrupting my lesson is going to be rewarded with extra homework so you better get a grip and continue answering the questions I handed out earlier."

_'Oops. Almost forgot.'_ Baekhyun skimmed through the tasks on his long forgotten worksheet and grimaced.  _'That shit is boring as fuck. Why is teaching us something remotely interesting so difficult for your incompetent asses?'_ he asked himself but he searched for his pencil anyway, wondering where he put it since he couldn't find it even after lifting up his exercise book. 

The mystery solved itself when he glanced over to Chanyeol who was currently using the missing item to write something onto the bottom of his worksheet. His seatmate yanked the corner of the paper off, folded it and slid it over to him, followed by the pencil that belonged to him.

Baekhyun had no idea when he last exchanged a message like this with one of his classmates but the little rush of excitement mixed with the fear of getting caught hit him just like back then once he started unfolding the note.

_Wanted to tag along but ... ╥﹏╥  
*worried* >-<_

_'Jeez... You love these cute ass emoticons a lot, don't you?'_  Baekhyun chuckled, already taking a hold of his pencil.

_I'll be okay. Bryan might be dumb but he's not THAT dumb. He's not going to hurt me fo_

_'... hold on.'_

Baekhyun stopped abruptly and lifted his head, biting his lower lip hard since the clock above the blackboard told him that they still had most of the second period ahead of them.

_'Crap.'_

True, his seatmate didn't have to worry about him.

He should be concerned about himself.

Baekhyun chewed on his pencil while thinking more about the potential danger Chanyeol was currently in and sighed in defeat. Dammit, why didn't he realize it right away, taking the whole situation easy just because things finally seemed to change for the better? They literally  _talked_  about it yesterday, right in front of him.

Bryan viewed Chanyeol as his newest victim, perhaps even as incredibly appealing prey since Mr Kwang didn't mention his name in the short speech. His seatmate didn't get send to the office despite being Baekhyun's most important and useful witness, meaning that everyone who wanted to have a 'talk' with him during break time could easily do so. 

Bryan was definitely pissed enough to hit a new low, too.

He might use the remaining 30 minutes to inform his abusive friends about a plan purely made to harm the person that recorded the problematic video in the first place.

And Baekhyun ... Baekhyun had the same amount of time left to come up with a way to hide a giant with striking fairy ears, big puppy eyes and weirdly colored hair from a group of aggressive bullies that were thirsty for his blood.

 

 

 

  
Baekhyun flinched when the hallway door hit the wall with a noisy bang, closing his eyes and drawing in a long breath while listening to the loud footsteps that came closer and closer.

He knew who they belonged to without having to check it.

So much for waiting in front of the office alone and in peace.

_'Don't freak out. You're strong. You can do this,'_ he told himself and shoved his phone back into his pocket. He turned towards Bryan who was dressed in a red Supreme shirt and jeans today, staring at the shiny golden pendant around his exposed neck until he plucked up the courage to look into his eyes.

They weren't nearly as scary as yesterday but still cold enough to freeze the blood in Baekhyun's veins.

He almost forgot how to breathe after Bryan stopped right in front of him, squeezing his eyes shut and shrinking back when the older student lifted his left hand without a word.

And here he thought that his bully was going to spare him the humiliation today.

How freaking naive of him.

He should have known better.

The terrified coward inside Baekhyun was screaming his lungs out, yelling that he should let this whole thing be and run away before Bryan could slap him - fast, faster than his pounding heart, ignoring all his responsibilities and keep running until he was completely exhausted and gasping for air but also safe and finally  _free_.

He wasn't going to win this fight by turning these fainthearted thoughts into reality though so he stayed still, his gaze set on the hand that has caused him so much pain that its mere sight made him shudder.

"You're stubborn Baekkie, I'll give you that," Bryan acknowledged, his voice dripping with arrogance. "I didn't go easy on you and yet you didn't learn from your mistake. You're still the same blabbermouth from back then." 

Baekhyun was too focused on watching his opponent's every move to be able to reply, blinking in surprise when Bryan simply folded his arms instead of hurting him in any kind of way. Apparently, the little action has been an empty threat only, nothing else. Who knew, maybe he didn't delude himself and Mr Kwang's words  _actually_ saved his butt just now.

"You should be ashamed of yourself, honestly," Bryan chided, looking him up and down and shaking his head in disapproval once his gaze fell onto Baekhyun's beloved and completely worn out black converse shoes.

"You're ruining my good reputation and giving me such a rough time even though I didn't do anything wrong. Didn't your parents teach you how to behave properly?"

_'... you've got to be kidding me.'_

He has heard tons of hurtful things coming out of this guy's mouth already but the pure ridiculousness of the comparatively harmless comment still rubbed Baekhyun up the wrong way. "Hypocrisy at its finest", he snorted, his mouth twitching when he thought about how 'sweetly' Bryan has treated him the past few months.

Sure, Baekhyun wouldn't call himself the nicest person out there either but he looked like a pure fucking angel that never sinned before next to the elder.

"Yeah, yeah. I'm a huge dick and you want me to rot in hell, I know. It's whatever, I don't give a shit about what worthless scum like you thinks of me. We don't have much time left so let's stop this pointless conversation and get straight to the point midget," Bryan grunted, grumbling when the school bell announced the beginning of the break. "I don't care about how you do it, just get me out of this mess before it's too late or that pesky friend of yours is going to suffer until he's crying his eyes out and begging for mercy."

And there it was. That's exactly what Baekhyun has been waiting for.

_'Pff. Why the hell did that get me so much yesterday...? Those repetitive ultimatums are getting old,'_ Baekhyun thought, starting to lose count of how often Bryan has used this lousy method already. And this time, the freaking dumbass actually believed that he was going to get away by threatening to cause pain to Chanyeol.

But not on his watch. He intended to take Bryan down  _without_  his classmate getting hurt. Chanyeol helped him yesterday and he didn't mind returning the favour but he definitely wasn't going to miss out on his first and probably only chance to put an ultimate end to the bullying.

"No," Baekhyun replied therefore, a short answer that sounded a tiny bit shakier than planned but seemed to have done its job nevertheless, considering that Bryan raised his brows and stared at him as if he lost his mind.

"Excuse me ..?"

Baekhyun smirked, his tense muscles finally relaxing.

His reply didn't matter to begin with - Bryan most likely already decided that he was going to harm Chanyeol the moment he hindered him from marking Baekhyun for life. His seatmate's punishment for interfering simply would have gotten delayed if he accepted the questionable offer, nothing less and nothing more.

Baekhyun could only save the two of them permanently by fighting back.

That's why he raised his head and jutted his chin out, satisfaction written all over his face since Bryan didn't seem to know how to react to his sudden behaviour change. The student continued looking at him with wide eyes, his obvious confusion giving Baekhyun a much needed confidence boost.

"Are you deaf? I. said. no," he repeated after taking one small step closer, enunciating each word.

_'You can't remember, can you? I used to act this way all the time before you broke me.'_

July 3rd, the day when everything started. Bryan engraved the horrible date right on his heart.

_'Back then, I was hoping for you to leave me be once you calmed down, tried to not let it get to me. But you kept harassing me, hurt me, called me names, damaged my phone, threatened me, let your friends 'play' with me, didn't allow me to sleep peacefully anymore, made me cry like a pathetic little bitch, freaking dragged me down until I mistrusted fucking everyone, until I didn't even have the guts to defend myself any longer, until those goddamn attacks started to haunt me just because of you, that whore of your sister and your insane friends-"_

Baekhyun balled his fists, becoming more furious the longer he thought about the chaos his life has turned into.

Still, he wouldn't say any of these things out loud even if he was on the verge of dying and doing so would be the only way to save his life.

He would never tell him how much the last few months actually affected him.

' _Those moments of weakness belong in the past. It took me a while but I got myself together, figured out how to play your sick little game. And I'm going to prevent you from winning it. Just watch me.'_

"I'm not going to give you what you want, not anymore."

_'You're going to go game over because of me.'_

"Wait. You ... are you .. you don't- you don't mind him getting beaten up??" Bryan stuttered, something that Baekhyun literally has never heard before. It sounded like  _music_  to his ears. He could definitely get used to this.

"No, that's not what I said," he objected, his fists still clenched but a light smile adorning his lips. "You can't beat someone up who's nowhere to be seen though."

Of course, they might still find him if they searched well enough and they would certainly be angrier than to begin with in that case, too, but hiding Chanyeol has been the only way to at least offer him the  _chance_  to remain unhurt.

It was a risk worth taking.

Bryan's narrowed eyes and furrowed brows told Baekhyun that he thought otherwise though.

"Oh my. Looks like someone didn't see that coming, huh?" he chuckled, not paying any attention to the voice inside his head that told him to shut his mouth before he could provoke the scowling elder more. "Well, I'm  _incredibly_  sorry for seeing right through your faulty plan then," Baekhyun 'apologized'. "I guess you have to try harder if you want to catch me off guard. I'm not proud of being able to say this but I know you too well by now."

Maybe, he should have listened to the timid coward instead of unleashing a raging beast that was willing to shatter everyone that stood in its ways to millions of tiny pieces.

But Baekhyun didn't care any longer.  
  
Enough was enough.  
  
"Yeah, don't fucking underestimate me just because I put up with your fucking bullshit and let you do whatever the fuck you wanted the past five fucking months," he snarled and grabbed the taller student's stupid glistening necklace that could easily be more expensive than his entire wardrobe, fully enjoying the pained expression on Bryan's face after pulling him down to his height with one swift tug.  
  
"Listen up jerk. I've had enough. I'm fucking  _sick_  of this whole thing," he hissed through gritted teeth, the repressed loathing, anger, disappointment and exasperation sparking unstoppable flames that were set on reducing the bully in front of him to ashes. "You heard me?? Leave me the  _fuck_  alone you thick-headed  **MOTHERFUCKER!!!** " Baekhyun yelled and raised his hand, the adrenaline rushing through his veins providing him with a kind of strength he forgot he had.  
  
However, just like last time when one of their heated arguments escalated, Bryan reacted too quickly.  
  
He dodged the blow easily, turning the tables with a punch to the younger's nose.  
  
Baekhyun groaned and reeled back, stunned by the powerful strike, but somehow, he managed to duck away right before he could get hit a second time, almost stumbling over his own wobbly feet when the whole hallway started to spin because of the fast movement.  
  
He blinked the tears of pain away and covered his burning nose with his hands, glaring at Bryan once his blurry surroundings stood still.  
  
" _'_ I know you too well' my ass," the elder scoffed at him as he cracked his knuckles, the appaling noise making Baekhyun shudder. "That's all you've got Baekkie? You're failing to hit me _and_ you're down after one little punch? Dang, that's  _hilarious!_ " he laughed mockingly and kicked the cowering teenager. "Get up and try again you weak pussy! I might actually let you strike this time so come on! This is going to be fun!!"  
  
Yeah, right.  
  
"A terribly laggy LOL match would be more enjoyable than anything related to you so shut the fuck up and kiss my fucking ass you brainless idiot," Baekhyun grumbled and straightened up, anything but surprised when he tasted blood. He let go of his aching nose and showed him his middle finger, a dark red drop running down his pale skin.  
  
"Did you just- You're greedy for more pain?? Fine with me!" Bryan shouted and grabbed him by the collar. "Let me give you what you deserve you rude piece of shi-"  
  
The door across them opened before he could put his plan into action, its creaking shutting him up.  
  
He let go of the younger's checkered shirt as if the fabric burned him and took several steps back, even lifting both of his hands as if to prove that he didn't have anything to do with Baekhyun's injury when Mr Kwang walked out of his room.  
  
The vice principal seemed be more concerned about Baekhyun's condition than about Bryan trying to prove his nonexistent innocence though, pushing up his glasses and shaking his head in disbelief while scanning the student's messed up face.  
  
"It- I.. It's not my fault Sir!! He tried to hit me first! I just defended myse-"  
  
"Quiet. I don't need any explanations. I've heard enough."  
  
_'Welp. I'm screwed.'_ Baekhyun just yelled several inappropriate words you definitely shouldn't use in an educational institution so he scrunched up his face, whimpering because of the hurtful facial expression change.  
  
"In my office," Mr Kwang ordered and pointed towards the room behind him, waiting for Bryan to do as told before closing the door. Baekhyun had to use all his self control to keep a remark related to how many similarities the bully shared with a dog tucking its tail in between its legs to himself. Instead, he held his bloody nose and gave the vice principal a helpless look, hoping that he could escape a punishment for excessive swearing as long as he appeared as vulnerable and weak as possible.

 

 

 

  
He was standing in front of the mirror of the nearest bathroom a couple of minutes later, pouting as he used tons of paper tissues to wipe away the blood that was still leaking out of his swollen nose.  
  
"Aren't we especially handsome today," Baekhyun muttered before tilting his head forward and pinching his nostrils together, tears filling his eyes immediately. This supposedly helpful technique hurt like shit if the nosebleed happened to be the result of a well aimed punch.  
  
The injured male clenched his teeth but didn't let go despite the pain, washing his stained right hand while waiting for the bleeding to stop.  
  
Another look into the smudgy mirror that had a huge dick drawn onto it - seriously, why was this school full of idiotic and childish jerks - made him sigh. He could be mistaken for the protagonist of a terrible action movie with tons of unrealistic fight scenes, explosions, special effects and a shitload of fake blood.  
  
Good for him that his parents cared more about how he was doing in school than about such incidents.  
  
Last time, Baekhyun worried about their reaction for pretty much nothing.  
  
Sure, they were shocked at first but the fact that they forgot everything else, yelled at him and confiscated his playstation for two weeks straight (because those  _'brutal shooter games'_ were obviously turning him into a _'problematic and rebellious teenager'_ ) after he mentioned getting detention showed where their priorities lay.  
  
He left the empty bathroom once the bleeding finally stopped, already on his way to join Bryan in Mr. Kwang's office as instructed when his phone gave him a mini heart attack by vibrating out of nowhere.  
  
"Don't let this be what I think it is," Baekhyun mumbled, got the device out of his pocket and checked the message he just received.  
  
Chanyeol, the sole person that could possibly text him this early on a schoolday, was supposed to do so in case of an emergency only. That's what they settled on before he left him alone at least.  
  
So ...  
  
_'Please be okay. Please. I won't forgive myself if they really ...'_

  
  
_⌜ Chanyeol ⌝ ⁰⁹ ²⁴_  
_Can hear em ( / _ \ )_

 

  
_'...Looks like I'll need therapy after this.'_  
  
Baekhyun cursed under his breath, turned on his heels and ran off, ignoring that he shouldn't wear himself out this shortly after overcoming a nosebleed, paying no attention to the piercing waves of pain in his foot that became stronger with every step he took, shutting his eyes to his schoolmates that gave him weird looks and pushing everyone away that tried to hinder him from reaching Chanyeol before it was too late.  
  
_'You're not going to get him,'_ Baekhyun thought, struggling to breathe normally when he slowed down after arriving near his seatmate's hideplace.  
  
_'Only over my dead body.'_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fun fact: This chapter didn't exist at first! The story used to be kinda like "all problems solved" without me ever explaining how exactly it happened but then I was like nah that's not it and you have no idea how freaking GLAD I am that I decided to change things up and wrote this in the end.
> 
> I mean.. come on, Baekhyun's hella cool and badass in here, isn't he? :3
> 
> The title was lowkey inspired by 'Psycho' btw - simply because Psycho is that bitch and because Baekhyun's 'GAME OVER' gives me life.
> 
> There's going to be more Chanbaek content in the next chapter so stay tuned~
> 
> Sorry for the cliffhanger though ...
> 
> ...*evil laugh*


	4. The meaning of friendship

 "Where the hell is that ratbag? I want to _punch_ him! Why do I have to search him first??"

"Because he's playing hide and seek with us..?"

"Ugh, this is no fun!"

"And? I can't change it so stop complaining and concentrate on our mission. We don't have much time left."

   
Baekhyun nibbled on his lower lip while moving closer, praying that his heavy breathing wasn't going to give him away. He had no idea about the identity of the guy that seemed to be rather composed but he knew who the first voice belonged to long before he spotted the gigantic eleven on the back of his jersey.

Jiseok, Rebecca's current boyfriend. A bulky football player with tons of piercings that loved to pick on him ever since the two of them got together.

Most people seemed to adore the pair - apart from the many brokenhearted male students of course - but Baekhyun wouldn't be surprised if their relationship wasn't nearly as perfect as everyone who called them the school's _dream couple_ thought. Rebecca surely didn't give a fuck about her tiger's feelings (the suggestive nickname never failed to give Baekhyun the shivers) and would dump him the second she got bored of him, probably trying to get in another guy's pants only a few days later.

Stuff like that happened on a regular basis.

"Tsk, as if I don't have anything better to do. I'm going to wring his neck, break his legs, crush his balls and cut his dick off the very damn moment he shows us his ugly face."

_'Damn. Overdramatic much?'_

"Hey, that's unfair Ji! Let me have some fun with him as well!!"

_'In your dreams bitch,'_  Baekhyun replied in his mind and sneaked into the old library no student or teacher cared about any longer, so exhausted from all the running that he had to lean against the wooden door in order to catch his breath once he was standing inside.

He shouldn't be resting though. These two were just around the corner and so set on beating up Chanyeol that they might even check the long forgotten room to make sure not to overlook him.

Baekhyun could already see them venting their frustration on _him_ if they happened to find him first so he rushed towards the office cupboard in the corner, opened it and squashed in beside his classmate that stared at him as if he was a creature from outer space that planned to eat him alive.

He accidentally shoved the poor guy against the metallic surface while trying to get inside, the thump that followed the unintended push so noisy that the bullies most likely heard it.

Not exactly how he wanted his spontaneous rescue operation to go.

"Ouch .."

"Shit. Sorry!" Baekhyun whispered, pitch-black darkness surounding the two of them after he shut the door close. "Are you okay?"

"You're askin'  _me_  if I'm okay?? Did you see yourself? Why are ya here? And what the  _ **FUCK**  _happened t-mhph??!"

"Sshh!"

He pressed his hands on Chanyeol's mouth and grimaced when he realized that he couldn't take any step back to bring some distance in between them. The cupboard that was already smelling like a damn cotton candy booth thanks to a certain someoneobviously hasn't been made for putting two teenagers out of sight but it was still the only somewhat acceptable hideplace inside the room.

_'This is awkward. Hella awkward.'_ Baekhyun let go and pushed the taller away as gently as possible since he didn't want to cause him any more pain, frowning once he noticed how abnormally fast Chanyeol's heart was beating.

_'Is he that scared?'_  he wondered and lifted his head, unable to make out his classmate's expression in the dark. _'Huh ... but this isn't too different from yesterday..?_   _And he was confident as fuck the whole time ... seemed to have everything under control .. or did I miss something?'_

Baekhyun tried to recall the recent occurrences but all he saw apart from those scary eyes full of loathing were endless threats, blurry but brutal images and his classmate's kindness.

Nothing that could have been a sign for Chanyeol being just as afraid as him.

"Ready or not .. Here we come!"

Baekhyun froze, his right hand still on Chanyeol's chest.

' _Crap... Both of us are fucked if I don't get us out of here.. I need to do something ... anything!!'_  he panicked and gnashed his teeth as he was trying to come up with a quick idea that wouldn't end in a total disaster.

"Come out of your hideplace!! If you move your ass here yourself we might actually be kind to you!" Jiseok shouted, his voice becoming clearer with each second that passed. "But if you rather keep acting like a little child we're not going to show any mercy. The others are on their way so things are looking quite bad for you. Just surrender already!"

"Give me your hand," Baekhyun muttered before Chanyeol could follow those fishy orders and balled his left fist, ready to strike.

The last minute plan he thought of had tons of flaws but defending themselves was still a better option than accepting their fate with open arms.

Even if their attempted escape would fail in the end.

"My ... eh? What??"

"Your hand!" Baekhyun repeated impatiently and rammed his fist against the flat surface when he suspected Jiseok to stand right in front of the cupboard, a satisfied smile finding its way on his lips since the senior student screamed loudly the very next second.

"Wasted," he chuckled and left their hideplace, raising his brows in amusement once his gaze fell on the bully who was holding his head while scrunching up his face.

He would have loved to enjoy the pleasing sight for some longer but instead, he grabbed Chanyeol's hand and pulled him out of the dark room.

"Baekkie ...? What do you think you're doing you son of a bitch?" Jiseok asked in a dangerously low tone and stepped closer once he recovered from the hit, his face red and his dark eyes set on Baekhyun.

The older student was so focused on him that he didn't even cast a glance at Chanyeol despite him being the person he has been searching for the whole time.

"You think this is funny?? Why are you here in the first place? Looking for a fight? Want me to finish what Bryan started and mess your face up for good? Because I fucking will, asshole! And _you_... fuck, don't even get me started on  **YOU**!" he suddenly yelled, finally giving his attention to Chanyeol.

Time to get the hell out of here.

"What happened Ji? What was th- Baekkie?! Huh? What's going on?"

Baekhyun tightened his grip on Chanyeol's hand when the other male stopped right next to Jiseok and eyed him suspiciously.

He definitely saw those freckles and that dark brown curly hair before but he couldn't remember the guy's name, their nonexistent relationship making him wonder why someone like him felt the need to participate in Bryan's cruel plan.

Anyone disliking Chanyeol so much that they would go to such an extent just to harm him didn't make any sense after all.

This was exactly why Baekhyun couldn't stand people. He didn't have anything to do with most of his peers and yet they loved to act as if he was a criminal at large that exterminated whole populations on his own.

_'Jeez ... Why are you so shocked? Did y'all never play a co-op game before?'_  Baekhyun asked himself and rolled his eyes. _'It's an unspoken rule. You drop everything else and help your teammates if they're in danger. Especially when they're weak as fuck, less experienced than you or unable to make it on their own because they're trapped. Like me yesterday.'_

What was there they didn't understand?

"Listen, I'm always up for getting my ass whooped by you guys - like, I'm dreaming of being treated roughly pretty much  _every single night_  because I'm a kinky little bitch that's literally  _addicted_  to pain," Baekhyun explained sarcastically, almost snorting when he saw the confused and slightly disturbed looks these two exchanged upon hearing his words. "But sadly, I don't have any time for your sadistic bullshit right now. I know, I know, it's tragic," he sighed and shook his head as if he was truly regretting the loss, "but I already have plans with this guy right here."

He raised Chanyeol's and his linked hands, giggling to himself because his classmate averted his gaze the very moment their eyes met.

His confidence and serenity from the day before were nowhere to be found all of a sudden.

"You better have good stamina Yeol," Baekhyun said casually and pulled Chanyeol's white hood over his flashy hair, making sure to cover it completely. "You're going to need it if you want to keep up with me," he added, winked at his rapidly blinking seatmate and dragged him over to the few book shelves that hid the room's second entrance so well that most students probably didn't have any idea about its existence.

He found it thanks to a situation quite similar to this one, a coincidence that could either save them from running right into another violent student's arms or turn to their demise.

_'Don't be locked don't be locked please don't be locked,_ ' Baekhyun repeated again and again in his head, sighing in relief after pushing the door's rusty handle down since he managed to open it without any bigger problems.

"Get back here right now, both of you!" Jiseok screamed somewhere behind them but the teenager only increased his speed, running down the hallway while holding firmly onto Chanyeol's hand because the taller struggled so much with following him that he kept tripping over his own feet.

"Hey, isn't that him..? Guys, I think I found him!! A damn tall guy ran past me just now! Baekkie's with him too so it has to be him! Come he-"

The ringing bell drowned out the rest but their schoolmate using the idiotic girly nickname as well fueled the blazing fire that was burning inside Baekhyun's body ever since the encounter with Bryan nevertheless.

Annoying. People were  _so_   _ **goddamn**_  annoying.

He ignored the strong urge to bitch the random student out and sprinted towards the staircase instead, hoping that Chanyeol wasn't going to break his legs somewhere along the way now that he was taking two steps at a time.

Baekhyun only stopped once they passed the same door Bryan has slammed against the wall not too long ago, panting but watching how the group of angry students retracted the moment they realized where he has lead them to with a mixture of delight and spitefulness visible on his face.

_'You think you can get away that easily..? Seriously? Damn, even **I'm**  surprised by how fucking dense you guys are sometimes. Newsflash: Finding out who wanted to beat the crap out of a completely innocent guy is going to be a piece of cake because all of you are late for classes. A+ for effort though,'_ Baekhyun thought and let go of Chanyeol's hand now that they were finally alone.

His foot was aching around as badly as right after Rebecca pushed him, his nose was burning and his whole body was drenched in sweat but both of them were safe and sound.

That's what mattered the most.

"Wha.. what's wrong with ... with this.. school ..." Chanyeol gasped out, pulled his hood down that barely covered his head any longer and ran his fingers through his unkempt hair, messing it up even more with the action. "Oh shit, almost forgot!" he suddenly exclaimed and turned towards Baekhyun who was giving him a confused look. "Your nose!! What'd that jerk do to you? Punched ya? Kicked you in the face? Tried to  _bite it off??_ Does it hurt? Fuck, what if it's broken?! You gotta make sure it's not! But dun worry, I can tell ya which bus you have to take to get to hospital! Wanna know?"

Baekhyun blinked in surprise, slightly overwhelmed by the amount of questions.

Chanyeol was standing so close to him that he could see his reflection in his eyes - and also so concerned that he didn't give him any chance to open his mouth.

"F'real, don't take that lightly! 'Cause you're lookin'  _awful_. Kinda like that creepy ass monster from that one TV show that used to scare the shit out of me when I was a kid."

"Wow, thanks for the compliment. Such heartwarming words surely make me feel better," Baekhyun snorted, regretting that he burst out laughing once Chanyeol got how wrong the last comment sounded and looked at him with panic-stricken eyes.

He couldn't even do something this simple without experiencing pain.

"Wh.. wait, no!! I'm- oh my  _God,_  NO! Don't ... I didn't mean it like that, I sw-"

"Calm your tits Chanyeol. I'm not actually offended," the teenager snickered before his classmate could apologize for things he shouldn't be sorry for. "Long story short, I tried to punch that asshat first but he beat me to it and it hurts like shit, not gonna lie. I'm fine though, no worries," Baekhyun assured. "It's normal to get hurt in a fight anyway, isn't it? I don't really mind one or two battle wounds. I just care about winning so I'm good as long as this talk ends well for me," he explained with a shrug of his shoulders, his eyes set on the door that lead to Mr Kwang's office.

He should have been in there since minutes.

Chanyeol studied him closely instead of replying, his stare so intense that Baekhyun crossed his arms over his chest the moment he noticed the strong gaze on him.

"What?" he snarled, unsure how to react to the uncommon attentiveness.

"Uhh, nothing! You're just so ... hmm. Dunno how to explain.." Chanyeol trailed off and glanced up to the ceiling as if he was hoping for it to show him the word he was looking for, finishing the sentence after a couple of seconds only.

"Different ...?"

Not exactly what Baekhyun has been expecting.

"You think so?"

"Yep."

"How come?" he asked with a frown on his face.

Baekhyun wouldn't say that he changed a lot in the past few hours - he was simply going back to his normal self.

Slowly but surely.

"Well, duh. It's like ... you're fightin' back? Tryin' to overcome your fear of 'em n' all ... taking things into your own hands.. N' you're laughing ... smiling and jokin' around .. heck, you even called me  _Yeol!"_ Chanyeol pointed out, gesticulating wildly. "You said you'd rather _die_ than call me by any nickname not too long ago!! So that's... I'm.. you ... ehh .." he stammered and paused once more, struggling to find the right words yet again.

"You know, I would tell you to take your sweet time but I have a pretty important matter to deal with. Are you planning to finish that sentence anytime soon or do I have to wait until our graduation?" Baekhyun eventually broke the silence and smirked mischievously before taking the inviting opportunity to tease his seatmate.

Just for the sake of it.

_"... Yeol?"_

"Woah!! Fuck, dun do stuff like that without any warning!" Chanyeol gasped, pursing his lips the second he noticed the amused expression on Baekhyun's face. "This is a  _big deal_  for me, 'kay?! You looked hella lonely when we first met so I just  _had_  to do something 'bout it! But you told me that you dun give a flying fuck 'bout people and that I should stop distractin' ya during classes before you shut me up by shovin' your pencil case down my throat!! On my first day! That shit _hurt_ , y'know? I wanted to become friends n' lowkey got attacked for it!"

Baekhyun looked away and rubbed his nape, still remembering how he went into full defense mode right from the start.

He has never really thought about it but he surely didn't make a good first impression either.

"'Kay, you stopped sayin' mean things at some point n' helped me with math once but I'm not used to you bein'.. well, _nice_. So lemme freak out!"

_'I did him dirty. He deserved better, much better,'_ Baekhyun realized for the nth time, sighing at his own distant behaviour. "I'm sorry okay? I was just ... being extra careful? And you had bad luck, too. We got to know each other at a point when literally _everyone_ was a potential enemy in my eyes. And it's not my fault that you're fitting the image of a typical bully I created in my head perfectly so-"

"Wait, what?  _Me?!"_  Chanyeol interrupted him, pushing his bottom lip forward when Baekhyun nodded.  _"Why??_ I'm hittin' my head several times a weak, I'm bawlin' my eyes out when I'm watchin' sad movies, I can barely fall asleep without my Rilakkuma plushie n' I jump like a damn bouncy ball whenever the toaster pops! I'm anythin'  _but_  frightening, seriously!"

"Damn. You're really something else," Baekhyun stated and giggled. Hard to believe that this was the same guy that saved him yesterday. "No need to be upset though. I've made my mind up- well, uh, kinda at least. And I decided to... uhhm.. trust you ...? I guess," he explained hesitantly and cleared his throat. "But I'm tired of drama... of negative feelings and all that crap... so don't .. don't make me regret this decision ... please."

He gave Chanyeol an unsure look, wondering once more if this was actually a good idea.

Luckily, the light smile on the taller's lips offered him the assurance he indirectly asked for.

"Not gonna happen!"

 

 

 

 

* * *

「 _Friday, 13 November 2018_ 」

* * *

  
Severe lectures and extra homework for everyone who was involved in Bryan's messed up plan.

Out of school suspension for the evil mastermind himself.

Only the first of many other consequences that were going to follow right after the two week ban.

In fact, they might go as far as to _kick_ Bryan _out_ now that more and more intimidated students were mustering up the courage to speak up, finally brave enough to let teachers know about the inacceptable happenings they have witnessed the past few months.

Baekhyun was completely satisfied with the positive results but he surely could have done without the pointless detention Chanyeol and him got for running in hallways, of all reasons - despite explaining that they  _had_  to break the rules in order to get away safely.

_'This is so fucking boring,'_ the student thought to himself, sighing after taking a look outside.

The weather has been awful the past few days but today, the sun was shining brightly of course, mocking him.

Whoever decided to turn detention into the most common punishment for students that misbehaved clearly had some serious issues. Baekhyun could have solved the few equations at home without being treated like a homicidal maniac that needed to be locked up but instead, he was sitting on an extremely uncomfy chair that squeaked at the tiniest movements even though he finished the simple tasks Mr Myung gave them long ago.

He had no other choice than dawdling his time away because his incredibly responsible and thoughtful class teacher didn't prepare any additional tasks for students that weren't as unintelligent as the majority of the school's pupils seemed to be, staring at the sweep hand of the clock right next to the blackboard as if he could make it move faster by doing so.

Baekhyun heaved another sigh since he didn't discover any unknown superpowers that allowed him to manipulate time, turned his worksheet around and started to sketch a palm tree onto it once the boredom became unbearable, so focused on drawing that he barely reacted when something brushed his nape and fell on the floor afterwards.

He didn't have the energy to lash out on students who had the nerve to keep bullying him as if nothing has ever happened. In fact, he would have ignored the common incident completely if it wasn't for the whispered but panicky _"Baek_ " that certainly came from Chanyeol a few rows behind him.

Oh.

No attack then.

This was something different.

Baekhyun wasn't going to leave his classmate hanging of course so he glanced over to Mr Myung who was most definitely watching a movie on his laptop instead of fulfilling his duties as a supervisor, an activity that explained why the teacher didn't notice Chanyeol's questionable method to contact Baekhyun.

The few pitiable students that had to spend their friday afternoon in school were sitting as far away as possible from each other so that they had no chance to copy any answers. Mr Myung has also announced that everyone who didn't solve the math equations in time or made more than three mistakes was going to get detention yet again next week so it only made sense that someone who freaked out the moment he saw an improper fraction was trying to find a way to contact Baekhyun despite the huge distance in between them.

Sweet vanilla ice cream and spicy ketchup probably made a better combination than Chanyeol and math did.

Baekhyun looked around now that he knew that he didn't have to worry about Mr Myung, snorting once his gaze fell onto a crumbled paper airplane that had the words  _'SOS - Math's tryin to kill me!!!!'_ written on one of the wings.

He bent down to pick the desperate cry for help up and unfolded it, curious about what the note was going to say.

 

_'Baeeeek ... I *tried* to do it on my own, I swear!! But I have literally NO idea wtf_

_I gotta do to get it right?? My solutions make 0 sense and I dun wanna go through_

_this bs again next week! What if the same thing happens and I end up in an_

_endless cycle of detention just bcs I'm too dumb for math?? My bday's in 2 weeks_

_fuck no I have BIG PLANS for that day I can't let math ruin em (＞△＜) Can u_

_send me the solutions? Please..? Pretty please with a cherry on top??? I'll do_

_anything you want in return, just help me plz (T＿T)'_

 

  
_'Anything I want?'_  Baekhyun raised his eyebrow, countless ideas filling his mind in a matter of seconds.

This could be his chance to get to know Chanyeol better...

...and also his chance to have some fun.

Exactly what he needed right now.

Quickly, he pulled out his phone and hid it behind his pencil case to make sure not to get caught. Mr Myung still didn't seem to be interested in monitoring the students though so Baekhyun proceeded, shaking his head once he saw how many texts Chanyeol has sent him in the past half an hour.

  
_⌜ Yeol ⌝ ¹⁵ ¹²  
Baekbaekbaekbakebakdvakvebarkbaeeeeek_

_⌜ Yeol ⌝ ¹⁵ ¹²  
I need ur help (´・＿・`)_

_⌜ Yeol ⌝ ¹⁵ ¹²  
How dafuq am I supposed to solve number 1_

_⌜ Yeol ⌝ ¹⁵ ¹³  
Cause sth tells me that 3,524230256x10¹⁴_

_can't be right.. haha ... ha.. :')_

_⌜ Yeol ⌝ ¹⁵ ¹⁷  
Baek...? (^▽^;)_

_⌜ Yeol ⌝ ¹⁵ ¹⁹  
Shiet I forgot.. you're not checking ur_

_phone often in school_

_⌜ Yeol ⌝ ¹⁵ ¹⁹  
But fuCK I just looked @ the other_

_questions-_

_⌜ Yeol ⌝ ¹⁵ ²⁶  
I wanna cry (T⌓T)_

 

_'...How in the **world**  did he come to that solution??' _Baekhyun asked himself after checking his own answer, genuinely confused since the numbers were different like night and day.

Sure, this wasn't the first time that Chanyeol was struggling because of his problematic relationship to math but the abnormal huge number shocked him even so.

His seatmate was a hopeless case.

_'Mr 'my private pleasure is more important than my job' is going to figure out that you cheated right away,'_ Baekhyun typed but their teacher obviously wasn't going to be able to punish Chanyeol as long as he couldn't prove anything so he took pictures of his solutions despite those words.

The whole situation reminded him of his  _'caring'_ friends back then in middle school that didn't pay much attention to him but came running whenever they were too lazy to do the homework themselves - just with the difference that Chanyeol actually tried on his own first and asked politely instead of expecting him to provide the correct answers as if it was his only purpose.

The taller certainly also wouldn't have insulted him if he refused to help him out, not like those jerks that called him names whenever he protected himself from being treated like some damn toy everyone could use as they pleased.

After all, a good friendship wasn't only about taking. Giving was just as important.

And Chanyeol already gave him more than any of those people ever did  _before_  the two of them became friends even though he got rejected almost every single time.

The small talk in the very beginning that didn't go anywhere thanks to Baekhyun's deprecating reaction. How Chanyeol kept trying to make conversation whenever he could despite that metaphorical slap in the face, all those apathic short replies and annoyed glares he always got in response never enough to shut him up for good. How strictly he refused to tyrannize Baekhyun after hearing the wildest stories about him, made up by wicked teens that had no idea about anything. How he didn't want to associate with such people.

The adorable Hello Kitty band aid Chanyeol offered him when he noticed a bloody scratch on his hand. His warm kindness, distinctive smile and cheerfulness in general. The concerned glances once he noticed how suspiciously often Baekhyun showed up with such scratches, with bruises that lasted for weeks. How his face dropped when he found out where those reappearing injuries were coming from, when he realized that those nasty rumors were absolutely nothing compared to other things Baekhyun had to deal with. How angry the unpleasant discovery made him. How he kept asking if he could help him, trying to come up with ideas to get him out of the endless pain no matter how rudely Baekhyun told him that everything was fine and that he should stop sticking his nose into his personal life.

The bold action a couple of days ago that could have gotten him into deep,  _deep_  shit.

This guy truly had a mind of his own, seemed to be used to doing whatever he wanted to do without thinking much about it beforehand.

No wonder that Baekhyun hasn't been able to keep someone like him at a distance.

It was probably for the best anyway.

 

_⌜ Yeol ⌝ ¹⁵ ⁴⁵  
What-_

_⌜ Yeol ⌝ ¹⁵ ⁴⁵  
OmG._

_⌜ Yeol ⌝ ¹⁵ ⁴⁵  
U actually.._

_⌜ Yeol ⌝ ¹⁵ ⁴⁵  
WAHHH THANK YOU SO MUCH BAEK!!!!!_

_THANK U THANK U THAASBKT UJGIBO7G_

_⌜ Yeol ⌝ ¹⁵ ⁴⁵  
UR AN ANGEL ＼（Ｔ∇Ｔ）／♡_

 

_'Yeah right ... a fallen one maybe,'_ Baekhyun thought, his mouth curving into a playful smile as he typed his next message.

He could have had all of this long ago if he simply allowed it to happen earlier.

 

_⌜ ~Baekhyun. ⌝ ¹⁵ ⁴⁶_

_Mhh. Let's see if you'll still think so_

_after I told you what I want in return :3_

 

 

_⌜ Yeol ⌝ ¹⁵ ⁴⁶_  
_(∩╹□╹∩)_

 

  
Baekhyun covered his mouth to muffle his giggle when the shocked emoticon showed up on his screen, enjoying the conversation to the fullest.  
  
His situation was still far from perfect but right now, at this very moment, he couldn't be happier.  
  
All thanks to his bubbly classmate that sucked big time at math.

 

 

 

 

 

  
_⌜ Baek (⁎˃ᆺ˂) ⌝ ¹⁵ ⁴⁸  
Don't give me that face!_

_⌜ Baek (⁎˃ᆺ˂) ⌝ ¹⁵ ⁴⁸  
It's nothing bad, I promise._

 

_'Not sure 'bout that'_ Chanyeol thought, scrolled up and tapped on the first picture Baekhyun sent him just now, screwing up his face in disgust after zooming in. His seatmate's neat handwriting looked pretty, sure, but it couldn't cover up how sickening all those fractions and decimal numbers were.

_'Ughhh ... don't get anything. Why's school so effin' hard all of a sudden?'_  he asked himself despite knowing very well why his grades were dropping significantly and erased the unfinished nonsense his brain has come up with so far.

Chanyeol blew a big bubble with the raspberry flavored gum he bought the day before while doing so, starting to write the moment it popped only.

He didn't even try to understand the single steps of Baekhyun's calculations that were needed in order to get it right, merely focusing on copying.

He still had plenty of time to worry about his currently nonexistent knowledge during exam weeks.

 

_⌜ Baek (⁎˃ᆺ˂) ⌝ ¹⁵ ⁵⁰  
Are you free tomorrow night?_

 

Chanyeol almost choked on his bubblegum after reading the completely unexpected notification and pressed the pencil down so hard that it left a thick ugly line on the paper.

Quickly, he raised his head, his entire body freezing when Baekhyun's and his eyes met.

He was looking at him with expectation written all over his face, as if he couldn't wait for his answer, as if he truly wanted them to meet up or hang out with each other or something along the way.

Chanyeol gulped, unable to avert his gaze.

Was this relationship development bad?

No, of course not. Not even close to that.

Did the casual question freak him out even so?

Hell  **yes.**

Chanyeol nodded hesitantly instead of sending another text, his heart missing a beat when Baekhyun smiled brightly and gave him the thumbs up before turning around again - completely unaware of the chaos such a cheerful reaction was going to cause.

_'I.. I'm ... I... what..?'_

Chanyeol stared at the back of Baekhyun's head while trying to process what just happened. He leaned down and pressed his unnaturally warm face on the cool desk once the first shock moments have passed, wondering how the hell he was supposed to focus on math now that his heart was beating so damn fast.

_'Not to be dramatic or so,'_  he thought and turned his head to the side in order to draw a little misshapen heart onto the almost empty sheet of paper instead of continuing to copy Baekhyun's solutions.

_'...But you're gonna give me a heart attack if you do such cute ass things without any warning.'_

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wanna hUg this precious little cupcake so badly UGH >-<
> 
> I think we all know why his heart was beating so fast when the two of them were trapped inside that cupboard ;)
> 
> Did anyone notice that Baekhyun changed Chanyeol's name in his contacts from 'Seatmate' to 'Chanyeol' to 'Yeol' in no time? He should go for 'Baby' next ehehe :3 (yeah.. in like ... chapter 40 or so maybe lmao don't ask me I have no idea how long this story is going to be but I hope you'll stay until the very end fjdkaslfjasö)
> 
> Ah, the next chapter kinda hurts a bit btw so be warned. *just saying*


	5. Not all sunshine and rainbows

* * *

「 _Saturday, 14 November 2018_ 」

* * *

 

Baekhyun scanned his tidy room one final time, nodded in approval and grabbed the bag of potato chips from his desk before sitting down on the bed, opening it as a reward for finishing cleaning up.  
  
He plopped down on the soft mattress after swallowing a handful of chips and stretched, wondering why his stomach still felt as if someone was currently tying a thick rope around it.  
  
Okay, he couldn't remember when he last invited a friend over but there was absolutely no need to be so goddamn nervo-  
  
The teenager winced when the bell rang all of a sudden, almost dropping the bag of chips. Baekhyun sat up to take a confused look at his old Fairy Tail clock once he calmed down from the little shock and raised his brows in surprise.  
  
07:48 pm?  
  
No way.  
  
Chanyeol, the guy that showed up late at school almost every single day, has arrived ...  
  
_... more than ten minutes early?  
  
'Yeah, right. Yeol is a punctual person and secretely a math genius, I'm loved by everyone no matter where I go, Bryan helps people in need in his free time, unicorns exist and they're puking rainbows, this world is actually a nice place to live in and the sky is fucking purple,'_ Baekhyun thought, snorting.  
  
What if his his dad's business trip to London got cancelled and his parents have come back home though?  
  
_'Fuck no ... please not,'_ he begged quietly when the scary but realistic possibility crossed his mind.  
  
He didn't tell them anything about Chanyeol's visit tonight.  
  
Baekhyun could already imagine their reaction once his seatmate appeared - not only to his sneaky plan to enjoy his time instead of studying as promised but also to Chanyeol's unusual hair color.  
  
Yet again, his still healing nose injury has lead to a heated argument (because there was no need to be concerned about your son's well-being when he kept coming home with such bruises of course) so Baekhyun didn't even bother to let his conservative parents know about detention this time. He simply mentioned that he spent a few hours longer in school in order to revise algebra, keeping to himself why he didn't do so at home.  
  
He most likely wasn't going to be able to give them a good explanation for inviting some weird punk over though.  
  
Baekhyun left his room since he didn't have any other choice, shoved his hands inside the pockets of his grey sweatpants and walked down the corridor.  
  
He drew in a long breath before opening the entrance door hesitantly, blinking when his gaze fell on Chanyeol.  
  
Not that it bothered Baekhyun but _'what the actual fuck'_ was the only thing that came to his mind, the tension inside him replaced by pure perplexity at this point.  
  
"Hey Baek!" Chanyeol chirped happily upon seeing his classmate and gave him a wide smile.  
  
His cheeks were colored a soft shade of pink, either because his torn washed out jeans couldn't possibly protect him from the cold outside or because he didn't zip up his thin bomber jacket, only wearing a flimsy band shirt beneath it.  
  
As usually, his flashy hair was a big mess, the plain black snapback he has put on backwards to complete the _'cool grunge kid'_ look making his already pointy ears stick out even more.  
  
"You're early," Baekhyun stated with a frown instead of greeting his freezing seatmate back but he opened the door widely despite his bewilderment. He wrapped his arms around himself and closed the door shut with his foot right after Chanyeol has stepped inside, unable to keep the univiting cold away from his body nevertheless.  
  
"Probably would've been late if ya told me to come over in the morning instead. Gettin' up early isn't really my type of thing," Chanyeol laughed before kicking off his white fake Converse shoes that were around as worn out as Baekhyun's real ones and had colorful words written all over them.  
  
"N' school's no fun so I don't care 'bout being there on time."  
  
Chanyeol looked around himself like a curious puppy that was observing his new home for the first time after pulling his jacket off, awkwardly holding onto the piece of clothing until Baekhyun relieved him of it.  
  
"But you would call spending your saturday night with a boring nerd an enjoyable activity?" he questioned with amusement in his voice and hung the ice cold jacket up, wondering how his friend survived the long way to him inside that useless thing.  
  
Maybe he should offer him a hot drink. Not only to warm him up again but also in order to make up for his silence when his classmate did the same for him.  
  
"You're not boring. Not even close to that," Chanyeol objected, pouting like a toddler when Baekhyun raised his left brow in response to the unconvincing statement. "Really not!!"  
  
"Sure. Whatever floats your boat Yeol," Baekhyun chuckled, already heading towards the kitchen to turn his idea into reality. He opened the glossy white cabinet opposite to the window and rummaged through it, glad that his parents went grocery shopping just the day before.  
  
"You probably froze your nonexistent butt off and I really don't want you to think that I'm a bad host so what would you like to drink? You can choose between hot cocoa, various tea flavours, cappuccino and espresso but you should only go for the last two options if you're planning to stay up all night," he advised Chanyeol and turned back to him, snorting once he realized that he was still standing in the corridor as if he was too scared to take any step further.  
  
"By the way, you're allowed to come in. The tiles aren't going to bite off your feet."  
  
"Duh, I know that!! I'm just ... errm. Like, I mean... shouldn't I say hi to.. to your parents first or so ...?" Chanyeol stammered but he did as told when Baekhyun shook his head, inspecting the polished kitchen in awe once he was inside the room.  
  
Baekhyun decided to go for hot cocoa without asking again since awfully sweet things seemed to fit his seatmate the most and stood on his tip-toes to take two cups out of the wall cupboard above him. Chanyeol wasn't protesting so he grabbed two tablespoons as well.  
  
"They're not here," Baekhyun answered nonchalantly, turned on the water boiler and put an equal amount of cocoa powder into both cups. "Business trip."  
  
He walked over to the corner of the room after that short explanation, missing how Chanyeol tensed up because of his casual words.  
  
"O-oh," his perplexed guest finally brought out after opening and closing his mouth several times, the loud water boiler almost drowning him out. "Does that.. we ... are.. are we a..alone ...?" Chanyeol stuttered, his eyes flickering with uncertainty.  
  
"Yeah. I'm an only child so it's just you and me," Baekhyun confirmed, huffing since his classmate was giving him the totally uncalled-for _'please don't murder me I'm too young to die'_ look he used a couple of days ago already again.  
  
Actually, now that he was thinking about it ...  
  
The teenager placed the carton of milk he just got out of the fridge on the kitchen counter, one corner of his mouth curving up.  
  
"What's with that face? I didn't have any other choice Yeol," Baekhyun explained while approaching his friend with slow steps. "I can't invite my newest target over when my parents are home after all. I mean, we don't want them to hear you _scream ..._ do we?" he asked once he was standing in front of Chanyeol, trying his hardest to keep in his laughter now that the taller was staring at him with wide eyes.  
  
"Sc-scream?" Chanyeol repeated, his voice cracking in the middle of the word.  
  
_'This is fucking hilarious,'_ Baekhyun thought but he kept a straight face despite being extremely entertained by his seatmate's shocked reaction.  
  
"Why would I ... scream .."  
  
Baekhyun smirked mysteriously and leaned closer instead of giving him an answer, chuckling because Chanyeol's attempt to escape only lead to his back hitting the mint colored wall behind him.  
  
"The tiles might not bite but **I** surely do," Baekhyun purred and licked his lips while staring at his classmate's neck as if he was a thirsty vampire in desperate need for blood.  
  
He decided to let his mouth-watering victim go when he noticed Chanyeol's adam's apple bobbing down nervously in his throat though.  
  
Scaring him away wasn't the purpose of his little act.  
  
"Jeez, calm your ass. I'm not going to bite you," Baekhyun revealed with an eye roll before Chanyeol could change his mind about him and get the hell out of the apartment, starting to avoiding him as well. "Unless you _want_ me to of course. Anything for my guests," he giggled and swang around, returning to their cups of unfinished hot cocoa as if the incident has never happened.  
  
"And you're callin' yourself boring???"

 

 

 

   
"What about... hmmn."  
  
Baekhyun sat cross-legged and thought about what else he could ask Chanyeol, his gaze set on the glowing fairy lights that were hanging right above his bed.  
  
Their warm brightness made the atmosphere so cozy that his classmate has curled up like a little kitten at some point, barely moving ever since.  
  
Asking random questions was surely a rather outdated method to get to know each other but it did its job surprisingly well.  
  
Now, Chanyeol wasn't just his sweet but annoyingly talkative seatmate with non-existent math skills that chewed too much gum for his own good and couldn't even draw a proper stick figure.  
  
This guy taught himself how to play the piano with youtube videos only because his family didn't have enough money for professional lessons, he enjoyed reading comics and manga just as much as Baekhyun did and he was extremely competitive, his desire to defeat the shorter seemingly unbreakable despite losing every single Mario Kart race earlier.  
  
Chanyeol started working part-time at a coffee shop a few weeks ago but he couldn't stand the exhausting job that didn't fit someone as clumsy as him, his favorite gum flavor was cotton candy - of course - and he was a self-proclaimed night owl, able to stay awake until the early morning hours without trying.  
  
(However, he kept dozing off even though it was only past midnight so Baekhyun called bullshit on that particular piece of information.)  
  
Chanyeol, on the other hand, finally got to know more reasons for Baekhyun's stubborn distance.  
  
He has told him that he struggled with his classmates back in middle school already, mainly because he didn't fit in but also because his parents forced him to focus on studying, rarely allowing him to hang out with his few friends that turned out to be huge jerks in the end. Baekhyun has also explained that he got used to spending his free time alone or together with like minded people he met on the internet after the bad experience, finally informed Chanyeol about everything that happened in between Rebecca and him and even described how uttermost scary his first anxiety attack felt like.  
  
His growing interest in photography and his wish to get a tattoo one day have been some of their late night conversation topics, too.  
  
"Gonna crash out if ya dun' saysomethin'soon," Chanyeol slurred while slipping off his snapback, burying his face in the fluffy blue pillow next to him once the cap wasn't bugging him any longer.  
  
He has been extremely hesitant about getting on the bed at first but now, he was acting as if _he_ owned this place and invited Baekhyun over even though the opposite was the case.  
  
"Such a typical night owl you are. Falling asleep shortly after midnight," Baekhyun remarked and glanced down, his face lightening up at the sight of Chanyeol's dishevelled hair. "Ah!! I finally have a question!" he exclaimed with excitement. "Did you try any other weird hair colors before?"  
  
"Mhh ... plenty."  
  
"What's the oddest hair color you've had so far, then?"  
  
"Pastel rainbow," Chanyeol mumbled into the pillow and yawned after lifting his head, rubbing his tired eyes.  
  
"Woah! Really?" Baekhyun gasped, imagining how freaky his friend must have looked like with all the colors of the rainbow displayed on top of his head. "Do you have any pictures of that?"  
  
"Dunno.. lemme look."  
  
Chanyeol yawned once more, pulled out his phone and turned to the side to make sure that Baekhyun couldn't catch a glimpse of the screen while he was typing a message to someone.  
  
He started to search for the requested photos afterwards, pausing to stare at the device with a blank expression instead at some point.  
  
"Shit. That ain't gonna work."  
  
"Why not?"  
  
"It's .. this one's ... that was right after I dyed it and it's bad- like, _f'real._ Really, _**really**_ bad. But I deleted all my Insta posts back then and I think I only have this screenshot my friend sent me left 'cause I lost tons of pictures 'cause I kinda droppedmyoldphone in water 'cause I'm anidiot," he explained hastily, fully awake again all of a sudden. "But eh, it's fine!! You wanna see it so I'll show ya! Just ignore that emo ass caption n' that look on my face. That was in.. what, early 2016? I'm all good again!! Only had a lil' moment of weakness. Focus on the hair, not on anything else! 'Kay?"  
  
Baekhyun frowned because of Chanyeol's obvious discomposure but he nodded and seized the phone, his curiosity taking over control now that he had the opportunity to take a look at the picture himself.  
  
He understood his seatmate's quick change in mood right away.  
  
Surprisingly, his gaze fell on Chanyeol's eyes despite the striking colorfulness of his hair, the smudged eyeliner combined with the pure despair that was shimmering inside them captivating Baekhyun completely.  
  
In fact, he couldn't bring himself to look away even though this was only a _picture_ taken _years_ ago.  
  
_'What the actual fuck is going on,'_ he wondered and brought the device closer to his face, his brows still furrowed. _'That's.. it's not a typical 'Im going to stare directly into the camera like some well-known model and get tons of likes for it because I'm handsome and hella expressive and people only care about appearance' type of look,'_ Baekhyun thought, pressing his lips together. _'It's certainly not a 'little moment of weakness' either. Something like 'I'm drowning in pain and can't get out of it on my own make it stop please' fits those eyes more.'_  
  
Finally, Baekhyun managed to avert his gaze but he paid zero attention to Chanyeol's bedraggled hair despite his silent agreement to his friend's words earlier.  
  
He didn't notice the few colorful drops of hair dye that were running down his seatmate's cheeks either, concentrating fully on the caption instead.  
  
Baekhyun already screwed up anyway so it didn't matter.  
  
_♡ 7 likes  
**×loeY×** @jong_bae yk what? I'm gonna admit it so please just stfu and don't mention it ever again.  
  
Yes, it still hurts. Ofc it does. It hurts a whole damn lot and I have no fucking idea wth I'm doing anymore at this point. Let's be real, not even 1,000,000 bottles of hair dye would be enough to get rid of the darkness. The color only covers that shit up. It's never gonna disappear completely.  
  
Never.  
  
#Isaidit #ruhappynow? #fcku_  
  
_'The heck? Was that actually written by Chanyeol..? That sounds **nothing** like him,' _Baekhyun thought to himself, staring at the screen in disbelief. The caption that was dripping in bitterness, however, didn't want to change into a bubbly message full of adorable emoticons.  
  
"You've read it, didn't you."  
  
Baekhyun turned his head to the side upon hearing the seriousness in Chanyeol's voice, glad that their eyes didn't meet.  
  
He had an almost identical look on his face.  
  
As if whatever he's been going through during that time hasn't disappeared yet indeed, as if it was still hidden somewhere deep inside him, threatening to come out in the open now that he was lying on his back and gazing at the lights above them.  
  
_'Damn ... I let myself be deceived by his seemingly never-ending cheerfulness. How fucking dumb of me,'_ Baekhyun realized at long last.  
  
Sometimes, he found himself wondering if people as optimistic and pure hearted as Chanyeol were going to be able to experience the cruel ruthlessness of this world without getting tainted by its blood-curdling brutality.  
  
Not even in his wildest dreams did he think that something has shattered Chanyeol's heart to pieces a long time ago already.  
  
He simply assumed that his seatmate's life consisted of happiness, of warm sunshine, of the brightest colors, of sparkles and delightful memories just because he was wearing a wide smile every single day.  
  
But actually, Chanyeol was battling against his inner demons, too.  
  
Just like him.  
  
"What's the story behind that picture ...?" Baekhyun asked timidly and put the phone aside, unsure if he should really give it a shot and try to find the reason for Chanyeol's agony.  
  
He didn't want his seatmate to remember past incidents that caused him pain because of the question but yet again, his curiosity got the best of him.  
  
"Uhh, well .. a friend of mine threw a party," Chanyeol started after a few moments of silence, "n' I went there even though I felt like shit... to distract myself. 'Cause it's effin' maddening when something negative's on your mind all day n' night. You know that just as much as me, don'tcha?"  
  
He glanced at Baekhyun, continuing once said male nodded.  
  
"Was one of the dumbest ideas I've ever had. Got barely any sleep around that time cause nightmares were like, my best buddies. Don't even wanna know how many energy drinks I knocked down each day. 'Kay, I probably wouldn't have survived school otherwise but drinking that stuff so damn often fucked me up real good. Was jumpin' around like some hyperactive child that had too much sugar only to crash and turn into a grumpy n' dead tired zombie in the end'," Chanyeol snorted.  
  
Baekhyun pursed his lips, regretting that he made fun of his friend's _'missing'_ night owl habits earlier. He wasn't unfamiliar with this topic since he has had his fair share of sleep problems as well but his bullies have rarely haunted him in his dreams.  
  
There could be something serious behind Chanyeol's tiredness today, too, for all he knew.  
  
"So... 'bout that party. I made up some half-assed excuse and got outta there after like half an hour already? Everything annoyed the livin' crap outta me n' I didn't want to ruin anyone's mood," Chanyeol sighed, wringing his hands. "Was hella suspicious though so my friends spammed me like crazy. Many of 'em already guessed that it was related to.. uhm. Ehh ... I'm .. I mean," he stuttered, "my .. they ... they knew the.. reason ... right away n' tried to talk 'bout it with me .. but I wasn't... wasn't having any of that. Always changed the topic whenever they brought it up. They just wanted to help me of course but I wasn't really ... hmm," he paused, squinting as he was trying to explain his feelings back then.  
  
"Hey, I think I should stop," Chanyeol interrupted his own story instead of finishing the sentence, giving Baekhyun an uncertain look. "This is getting kinda depressing."  
  
"So what? I told you some messed up things as well not too long ago," Baekhyun reminded him and lay face down, wondering what might have happened after that. "My life is a tragedy Yeol. I'm used to depressing stuff."  
  
"That's sad .." Chanyeol mumbled in response to the statement, pouting his lips.  
  
"True but it's not my fault that this world sucks," Baekhyun returned nonchalantly. "Just keep talking - unless you really don't want to anymore of course. I'm not going to force you or so."  
  
Chanyeol lapsed into silence, nothing but quietness surrounding the two teenagers for several minutes straight.  
  
"Uhm, okay. So.. I saw all that hair dye ... in that one 24 hour shop on my way home," he eventually continued. "Bought that stuff without thinkin' much 'bout it even though it was the complete opposite of how I felt inside. It looked so freaking pretty n' colorful.. Just couldn't help myself," he marvelled, the memory bringing a smile to his face. "And guess what? I couldn't fall asleep even though I was damn fucking tired ... again. Was like the fourth night in a row or so..? Not sure anymore but I gave up tryin' to get at least some sleep, got up and dyed my hair in the middle of the night instead. Was probably at around four am or so," he added with a shrug of his shoulders.  
  
"Seriously? Damn. That's ..." Baekhyun trailed off, unsure how to describe his seatmate's spontaneous decision back then.  
  
"I know. 14 year old me was wild," Chanyeol giggled. "But it didn't really .. I mean, it was bright as hell and had similarities to cupcake frosting n' cupcakes are always good but my reflection still looked ... dunno.. like .. as ... as if I poured paint over my head in order to hide how I actually felt? I mean, that's pretty much exactly what I did so it made sense but that's not.. it's.. I just wasn't happy with it."  
  
Baekhyun listened attentively, hoping that Chanyeol was also going to reveal what has hurt him to such an extent that not even the many colors of the rainbow had been able to cheer him up again.  
  
"Y'know, It's been months at that point. I just.. I wanted to feel okay again. I tried so hard.. I really.. really ... did ... but nothing worked out," Chanyeol croaked, the distress in his now shaky voice so painfully obvious that Baekhyun felt it with every inch of his body. "C..couldn't ignore those crappy mood swings even though they kept.. kept ruining things... was mean to my friends.. acted like a huge.. ignorant ... dumbass... n' I .. I'm ... I felt so .. so _sad_ ... a..and weak and pissed n' alone and guilty at the same time and everything hurt like crazy and I-"  
  
_'Fuck.'_  
  
Baekhyun turned to the side and checked on Chanyeol the moment a choked sob escaped from his throat, unable to see anything because his seatmate was covering his face with his palms.  
  
He could only guess how many tears were currently hiding underneath those lage hands.  
  
Yeah, Baekhyun shouldn't have asked that question.  
  
He opened his mouth but closed it again right away since he didn't know what to say or how to act, completely overwhelmed by the situation.  
  
_'Should I get him some tissues..? A glass of water or chocolate maybe? Gum?! Change the topic? Try to make him laugh? Shit, how the fuck should I know?? I wasn't made for all that emotional support crap,'_ Baekhyun cursed silently, getting up despite his cluelessness.  
  
"I was so ... so fucking done with life .."  
  
Baekhyun stopped right in his tracks because of those concerning words, his expression dulling when Chanyeol pulled his hands away.  
  
_'Ouch,'_ he thought, averting his gaze immediately since he couldn't handle the sheer pain trapped inside those watery puppy eyes. _'Happiness suits him better.'_  
  
"I think it's.. probably why I couldn't leave ya alone ... even though you kept telling me to.. to fuck off ..." Chanyeol muttered while wiping his tears away. He closed his eyes, took a deep breath and exhaled loudly, repeating the process several times to calm down again. "Kinda saw myself in you."  
  
"Wait, what..?" Baekhyun raised his brows, the revelation catching him by surprise. "And here I thought we couldn't be more different."  
  
"Nah. 'Kay, we're not like.. the same person or so of course but we've got a lot in common. N' the possibility that you felt like me somewhere in between all those mean words and hateful glances ... ugh, I just _had_ to help ya. Had no other choice," Chanyeol justified himself and lay on his right side, facing Baekhyun. "Also, sorry for that lil' outburst. Already told ya' that I'm a crybaby but I should be over that past stuff by now so... sorry," he apologized with a deep sigh.  
  
"It's fine," Baekhyun guaranteed even though the few tears have posed a challenge to him, relieved that Chanyeol has stopped crying all by himself. "I'm just ... Frankly speaking, I still don't really get you. Sure, I had my reasons but there was no need to treat you like dirt 97.4 percent of the time. Maybe I'm just being sadistic but such a shitty person deserves to suffer. I wouldn't lift a finger to help someone like that."  
  
"Well, guess those remaining 3.6 percent won me over?"  
  
"Yeah, right. Because 100 minus 97.4 totally equals 3.6 and not 2.6," Baekhyun snickered, cracking up once Chanyeol realized his embarrassing mistake and pulled a face. "Holy crap ... That's basic subtraction! I can't believe you got that wrong!! Dude, how in the world did you pass _any_ of your math classes?!" he giggled and rolled to the side the moment Chanyeol grabbed his pillow to throw it at him, a movement quick enough to dodge the attack.  
  
"Two can play at that game," Baekhyun smirked and snatched the pillow away from his seatmate before he could try a second time. Chanyeol got hit right in the face thanks to Baekhyun's well-aimed throw, the result making the shorter grin triumphantly. "Headshot!" he exclaimed, smiling widely now that Chanyeol was hugging the pillow with all his might - and looking at him with puffed up cheeks. "Aww.. why are you sulking Yeollie? Still didn't accept that you can't possibly beat me?"  
  
"Pah, don't get cocky! Some more practice n' I definitely will!!" Chanyeol fired back.  
  
"Mhh ... In your dreams maybe," Baekhyun laughed and sank into his bed, unable to suppress a yawn. He felt too lazy to check the time but he wouldn't be surprised if it was around one am by now.  
  
"Are ya tired..? Should I go home?" Chanyeol asked right away but Baekhyun shook his head. Both of them were enjoying themselves, the abnormal huge snowflakes outside might freeze his seatmate to death, his parents couldn't scold him no matter how long he stayed awake and - most importantly - he didn't hear the full story yet.  
  
_As if_ he would let Chanyeol go that easily.  
  
"No, you still didn't tell me wh- ah!" Baekhyun slapped his hand over his mouth, stopping himself from speaking the words out loud before they could endanger the cheerful atmosphere.  
  
After all, they might cause even more trouble than the question about the picture earlier.  
  
There had to be a reason why Chanyeol was deliberately keeping one of the most important details of the story to himself.  
  
"Lemme guess. You wanna know what started the whole mess but you also don't want to make me cry again so you're holdin' back," Chanyeol speculated, the right corner of his lips turning up when Baekhyun's eyes widened. "What? It's pretty damn obvious Baek. N' I don't really mind telling ya - I mean, you're gonna find out sooner or later anyway. But I think I need to ask _you_ somethin' first to make this work," he declared and sat up straight, glancing nervously at his friend.  
  
"Uhm, okay ..? I'm all ears."  
  
"Ugh, it's gonna be hella fucking awkward between us if you have a problem with such things though," Chanyeol muttered under his breath and began to fidget. "Seriously, just don't say anything if that's the case. I'm always tryin' to ignore all those mean comments n' I'm more confident compared to back then but gettin' insulted for shit you have zero control over freaking sucks no matter what. People can be so _mean_. I hate it."  
  
_'The fuck is he talking about?'_ Baekhyun wondered, confused to the core. "What do you mea-"  
  
"What's your opinion on same-sex love?"  
  
_'... Oh.'_  
  
Baekhyun shut his mouth close and blinked, the sudden question about such a controversial topic catching him off guard. _'Wait, what? Does that- He's ...?'_  
  
The teenager didn't finish the thought, eyeing his seatmate instead.  
  
Chanyeol was staring at the soft pillow in his lap, his fingers digging deeply into the blue fabric. His lowered head and pursed lips reminded Baekhyun of a puppy that got caught doing something forbidden, waiting for his owner to yell at him now.  
  
_'Bitch, fucking say something before he misinterprets your silence and thinks you're a homophobic bastard,'_ Baekhyun's brain yelled at him, the reminder snapping him out of his trance. "Eh- I! Uhm, lo..love is love," he blurted out, mentally slapping himself for using one of the most unoriginal phrases possible. "I'm.. I mean ... I don't understand why .. why some people feel the need to make such a big deal out of it," he elaborated after clearing his throat, smiling sadly since Chanyeol breathed out in relief and relaxed the very moment those words left his lips.  
  
Some ignorant asshole must have said or done something _damn_ offensive for him to react that way.  
  
This had to mean that he got the reason for the question right, too, but the news didn't bother Baekhyun.  
  
Not at all.  
  
Why should it?  
  
Chanyeol was still the person that helped him out without batting an eyelid.  
  
That was a fact that couldn't be changed.  
  
"You said it yourself, such feelings are out of our control. There's absolutely nothing wrong with them and your preferences aren't harmful in any kind of way so why can't others just shut the fuck up and mind their own business?" Baekhyun huffed, the thought of someone judging or even _bullying_ Chanyeol because he didn't fit society's outdated standards making his blood boil. "I'm sure as hell going to fight everyone who dares to mock you because of your sexual orientation," he grumbled and crossed his arms. "That's what hurt you back then, isn't it? Tsk, fucking judgemental people and their irrelevant opinions. Tell me in case that it ever happens again and I'll take care of it!! I'm going to protect y-"  
  
"Baek, stop!! I'm gonna cry again if you keep goin'!" Chanyeol interrupted him hastily, rubbing away the tears that were already shimmering in his eyes before Baekhyun could see them.  
  
"What?! Why? Did I say something wrong?"  
  
To his relief, Chanyeol shook his head.  
  
"Then ...?"  
  
"Well, I never thought you'd be so damn supportive! It's rare!! Many.. many of my old friends - I've freakin' known them since elementary school! They started to avoid me after I dropped the bomb... as if it's some contagious illness," Chanyeol told him, his explanation making Baekhyun even angrier. "N' my dad .."  
  
Baekhyun clenched his fists, already expecting the worst.  
  
Words had the tendency to be more harmful than actual weapons that have been made  _made_ to cause damage - especially when they came from a loved person or from someone you looked up to.  
  
"How did he react?"

 

 

 

 

 

* * *

「 _Thursday, 8 November 2015_ 」

* * *

 

_Softly, Chanyeol pressed the final key, a light smile on his lips._

_His skills were still far from perfect, yes, but he has improved a lot ever since he has gotten his early birthday present - a freaking **Yamaha keyboard** \- so he lifted his head and looked up at his dad with anticipation, hoping that the little show has been enjoyable enough to convince him that the expensive instrument hasn't been a waste of his hard earned money._

_The displeased look on Mr Park's face told him that he still had a long way to go though._

_"Pff ... you're lookin' as if you just bit into a lemon. Was it really that bad?" Chanyeol asked after turning his precious keyboard off, his voice cracking at the end of the question._

_Stupid puberty._

_"Well, I wouldn't call it 'bad' but it wasn't good either," his dad commented, brutally honest feedback that made Chanyeol sigh._

_He got to hear the same exact discouraging words a few weeks ago already so apparently, he didn't become better at all._

_"That's not the point though. I've been wondering ... why are your nails black? Last time I checked, I only had one daughter."_

_Chanyeol pressed his lips together and inspected his fingers, the dark nail polish he applied a couple of days ago already chipping._

_One sentence._

_He watched hundreds of youtube tutorials, asked his best friend Jongdae for help, practiced again and again, put his whole heart into that song... and all he got as response was one single sentence and a completely unrelated question that might lead to a fight._

_Why did he even bother to change his mind?_

_"Nail polish isn't gonna turn me into a girl dad," Chanyeol mumbled quietly while picking the skin around his left thumb. "I just like how it looks like. That's why I painted 'em."_

_"No, in all seriousness. Should I be concerned? Baby pink hair, all that eye shadow and eyeliner whenever you go out, painted nails ... what's next? You're going to tell me you're into guys?"_

_Chanyeol tensed up, the simple but surprising question mighty enough to freeze his entire body even though he has been asking himself the very same thing countless times at this point._

_"I'm .. what even ...?! What are you talkin' about all of a sudden?" he snorted, frowning and giving his dad an irritated look instead of replying._

_What else should he do?_

_Chanyeol has never been a good liar but he couldn't go ahead and answer the question truthfully either._

_That would be about as smart as starting to study for a math test the night before it._

_That weird fluttering in his stomach whenever the school's ultimate heartthrob Luhan smiled at him, how he didn't seem to be able to bring a coherent sentence over his lips whenever they were talking to each other even though he wasn't a shy person by any means, how he always felt like running away from every single situation that involved being alone with girls (especially when they were obviously trying to make a move on him), that utterly confusing lewd dream a few nights ago a typical straight guy probably shouldn't have had ..._

_He wasn't entirely sure but the possibility was there. Definitely._

_His dad, however, didn't need to know that._

_This awkward conversation was going to end **badly** if he told him something regarding his doubts about his sexuality._

_"Chanyeol," Mr Park growled, his tone so dark that the teenager swallowed nervously._

_He was in deep shit._

_His dad only called him by his full name whenever he was extremely angry._

_"Why are you trying to evade my question?"_

_"It's.. I ... uhm. I'm," Chanyeol stammered, shuffling his feet while running his trembling fingers through his hair._

_'I want to get out of here right fucking now,' he thought but escaping without giving away those secret feelings he intended to take to the grave seemed to be impossible._

_Was this how an innocent mouse felt like when it crossed paths with a cat?_

_Tiny, cornered and so terrified that it couldn't move any longer?_

_"You are acting suspicious," his dad pointed out, folding his arms while looking him up and down. Chanyeol could feel those wary eyes scanning his whole body even though his gaze was set on the keyboard's power button so he shifted in his old swivel chair, rubbing his nape._

_What was he supposed to say?_

_'I know'?_

_'It's because you might be right'?_

_'Okay, maybe I'm gay but please don't stop loving me because of this ...'?_

_"I don't like where this is going," Mr Park made clear once he realized that his son wasn't going to respond anytime soon and gave an exasperated sigh._

_'Trust me ... me neither,' Chanyeol replied silently, a bitter smile on his face._

_This could have been such a nice afternoon if his dad didn't choose to ignore all his efforts just to ask a question he hasn't been ready for yet._

_"I'm right, aren't I," his dad eventually detected, losing his temper since Chanyeol remained quiet no matter what he said._

_Mr Park came closer, grabbed the teenager by the shoulders and started shaking him, practically yelling at this point. "Did you lose your voice?! Tell me right now if you're attracted to gu-"_

_"I don't fucking know okay?!" Chanyeol shouted back and sprang to his feet, too upset to apologize for swearing in front of his dad. He didn't care about disturbing their annoying neighbours that didn't have anything better to do than sticking theirs noses in other people's business either._

_Enough was enough._

_"Maybe I am, maybe I'm not ... who the hell cares? N' why does it even matter? Shouldn't you accept me the way I am??"_

_"How could I? That kind of stuff is absolutely **disgusting** , abnormal and **intolerable** \- it's just wrong! I can't believe you're actually telling me you might be one of those people that feel this way," his dad retorted, a vein pulsing in his neck._

_Every single word seemed to shoot a bullet straight to Chanyeol's confused heart but Mr Park wasn't done yet, going for the kill instead._

_"_ _'_ _I would send you to a psychiatrist right now_ _if we had the money_ _! A professional might be able to fix you before it's too late!!"_

_Chanyeol stared at his dad with wide eyes, balling his fists as he tried his best to fight back the tears._

_His heart was pounding too hard, aching as if those harsh words actually bruised it but somehow, he ignored the overwhelming pain and let out a shaky breath after gulping the suffocating lump in his throat down._

_He never should have asked his dad if he had some time to listen to his very own version of that goddamn song, never should have thought that he could express himself without having to worry about other people's reactions._

_He brought this mess upon himself._

_It was all his fault._

_"...'Kay. Got it. Thanks for your understanding n' support. Really appreciate it," Chanyeol muttered, his own voice so emotionless and hoarse that he barely recognized it.  
  
'Thanks for trampling on my feelings, too. Didn't need those anyway,' he added in his mind and pulled his grey hood over his head, covering his pastel pink hair.  
  
Just a few minutes longer inside this place and he was going to flip out.  
  
Slowly, he left his room and walked down the corridor, putting on his fake leather jacket and torn sneakers despite the pouring rain outside.  
  
Every single movement felt unreal - as if someone else has taken control over his body and he couldn't help but follow.  
  
He zipped up his jacket, the tears in his eyes turning his surroundings into a blurry muddle now that he couldn't hold them back any longer.  
  
"Where did we go wrong ..?" Mr Park behind him asked, handing the teenager an umbrella instead of stopping him from going outside.  
  
Last time one of their arguments lead to Chanyeol leaving the apartment for a while, he had been so set on getting some fresh air that he completely forgot to take a jacket with him, too stubborn to return because of such a ridiculous reason and catching a severe cold afterwards.  
  
Today, however, he didn't feel like coming back again anymore at all. He didn't have any energy for explaining this whole chaos to his mom later.  
  
"I don't remember us telling you to become a disappointment to our family one day but look at you now. Doing girly things and having nasty feelings that make me want to stop calling you my son."  
  
Chanyeol grabbed the cold handle with so much force that his knuckles turned white, inhaled deeply and turned around, plastering a smile on his tear-stained face.  
  
"Love you too dad."_

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1\. Pls don't kill me for that ending  
> 2\. The flashback is going to continue next chapter  
> 3\. It's going to get worse :)
> 
> Why am I like this.
> 
> It's a nice feeling to finally reveal bits of Chanyeol's life >~< I have to admit though.. it took me a while to post this chapter because I don't really like it thaaat much..? Some parts at least.. but I can't even really explain what exactly bothers me ugh. I like the last scene though, ngl. Ahhh I just hope you can enjoy this mess ༼☯﹏☯༽ A-and.. uhh .. if.. if you have the time.. it, uh, it would be really really really nice if you could leave a comment ... :')
> 
> Another EXO member is going to show up for the first time next chapter! It's probably pretty obvious who said member is because I mentioned him just a few lines above haha. You all better appreciate his second solo album. Don't sleep on it °^°
> 
> Aaaand I'm going to let you guys know why Chanyeol has his problems with a certain date *cough* November 10th *cough* so stay tuned!
> 
> I've written 11 chapters so far (I started last year. I'm slow, Ik.) and while some of them had their painful moments.. I still think that chapter 6 aka the next one is the one that hurts the most - for now at least.
> 
> Just that you know fjkdlafj


	6. Guilty

* * *

(hope you still have all the tags in mind!!)

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_Chanyeol searched for the spare key to Jongdae's house he always had with him ever since he had received it from his best friend. His hands were so numb from the cold that he accidentally dropped the life-saving metallic object the moment he pulled it out of his pocket._

_The exhausted teenager groaned in annoyance and bent down to look for the key once again, finally entering his friend's house after four failed attempts to open the entrance door._

_Quickly, Chanyeol took off his jacket, got rid of his soaked sneakers and drenched socks and headed straight towards the bathroom. He tossed his wet clothes into the bathtub without bothering to turn on the lights, cursing himself for throwing the umbrella into the next best trash can just because his dad had given it to him._

_Certainly not one of his brightest ideas._

_He pulled down his useless hood that hadn't been able to stop the rain from dampening his hair, wiped his runny nose and left the room as silently as possible to make sure not to wake up his friend's parents, stopping right in front of Jongdae's door._

_For the first time ever, he was hesitant to go inside._

_The problem wasn't that he came here in the middle of the night yet again, an occurrence that kept repeating itself ever since Jongdae has helped him bleaching his hair without Chanyeol asking his parents for permission first._

_Possibly losing his best friend, however ..._

_Chanyeol wouldn't have been able to handle it._

_Not after everything they've been through together._

_He heaved a sigh and opened the door after knocking on the same special way both of them had used ever since they had become friends during detention in third grade. Back when everything was simple and easy and their biggest concerns were exciting adventures outside or their favorite video games and TV series - not growing up, ridiculous high expectations, too much homework and utterly confusing feelings._

_Oh, how he missed those carefree days._

_"Bad timing Chan," Jongdae hissed through gritted teeth when Chanyeol stepped inside, so into the game he was currently playing on the aqua blue colored Nintendo 3DS in his hands that he didn't even lift his head._

_Chanyeol hurried to close the door behind him the moment he recognized the intense battle music, knowing very well that his efforts to visit his friend without making any noise would go to waste in a matter of seconds otherwise._

_Then again, the shut door probably wasn't going to make a huge difference anyway._

_Every idiot who thought shooter games turned children and teenagers into violent killers with serious anger issues clearly never watched someone trying to catch a legendary or mythical Pokémon._

_"I'm so. freaking. sick. of this. annoying. dickhead. Rayquaza_ _was a **joke** compared to this ugly bas- OH MY GOD WHAT?? ARE YOU KIDDING ME?! STAY INSIDE THE FUCKING BALL ALREADY!!!" Jongdae shouted. He jumped up from his bed and threw his innocent pillow against the wall, obviously too upset to be able to care about accidentally disturbing his poor parents with his yelling._

_Chanyeol would have laughed his ass off if he wasn't down in the dumps._

_Those happy times hadn't come to an end, not yet at least._

_They were still able to fool around and behave like little children that had no care in the real world, could pretend that everything was alright enough to get lost in video games even though things couldn't be more wrong._

_"That was my last ultra ball... I only have like three cheap ass pokéballs left," Jongdae whined and sat back down, sighing in defeat. "Okay then. I didn't want to ask you for help but this jerk isn't giving me any other choice. No clue how you're doing it but you always get them.. I mean, you fucker even caught freaking SUICUNE on your first damn try," Jongdae huffed after another unsuccessful attempt, the memory of little eight year old Chanyeol trapping the mighty monster not even five minutes after the battle's start while he had to invest more than an hour into that particular fight still wearing on him._

_"You're truly a Pokémon Master... so you better don't disappoint me and catch that fugly robot alien with its creepy ass hentai tentacles for me," Jongdae grumbled and finally looked up from his 3DS, shock overtaking his face when he noticed Chanyeol puffy eyes and red runny nose._

_"Sure thing. Got ya," Chanyeol agreed before Jongdae could mention his poor appearance and joined his friend on the bed, grabbing the game console without any other word._

_Somehow, he actually caught Deoxys (the creature that has been messing with Jongdae since a good half an hour) right away, anything but surprised when his friend saved the game and turned the device off after getting it back instead of freaking out like he usually would because of such a ridiculous outcome._

_As expected._

_Jongdae set his priorities straight._

_"Why didn't you say anything? I wouldn't have bothered you with this crap if I knew."_

_Chanyeol shrugged his shoulders and brushed his drenched sweater paws with his thumbs. "It's always the same. Really dunno what to tell ya anymore," he muttered while inspecting his nails that barely had any color on them left anymore ever since he had peeled most of the black nail polish off._

_Keeping this fight's reason to himself was probably for the best._

_His dad never let a day pass by without mentioning how hideous his hair looked like, had to bring up the eyeliner whenever he noticed Chanyeol wearing it; but until today, the teenager hadn't heard words that cut so deep that his heart still seemed to be bleeding even though it had been hours at this point._

_It was a damn painful experience._

_Jongdae stood up and walked over to his wooden closet, rummaging in it for a towel and the sweatshirt Chanyeol forgot to take back home with him the last time he stayed over. "This is getting out of hand," he mumbled to himself, chucking the baby blue shirt to Chanyeol and returning with a fluffy towel in his hands._

_"Guess he didn't like the nail polish?" Jongdae speculated while rubbing Chanyeol's pastel pink hair dry. "Well, not like I didn't see that coming. Old people have no idea about anything and your dad is no exception. It's hella stylish and I'm not the only one who thinks so though," he reminded him, his face lightening up when he got a sudden idea. "Ahh I think I just figured out how to turn him into a fan as well!! I'll paint my nails together with you next time I'm at your place! We're going to tell him it's what cool kids do these days so he just HAS to accept it! How about a bright color for example? I would totally rock yellow nails, don't you think so as well?" he asked excitedly and ruffled Chanyeol's hair one final time, looking at him with anticipation._

_"That ain't gonna work so dun' bother," Chanyeol snorted, a bitter reply that killed off Jongdae's enthusiasm immediately. "He's this close to disowning me."_

_"Hey, don't say gloomy stuff like th-"_

_"Not my words Dae. That's literally what he said before I left," Chanyeol made clear and leaned against the red wall behind him, closing his eyes that were tired from crying._

_"Wha.. why would he .. just because of the nail polish and all that stuff...?" Jongdae wanted to know but he shook his head right after speaking the thought out loud. "No, that wouldn't make any sense. He doesn't like it but- woah, shit. This ... this is about something else, isn't it?"_

_Chanyeol pressed his lips together the moment he heard the dreadful question._

_He could try to be brave and risk it all but what if Jongdae would push him away once he let him know about those forbidden emotions, just like his dad did?_

_His friend might be a tolerant guy that didn't mind him doing typical 'girly' things and was the person that had encouraged him to be true to himself since day one, but there was still a chance that he was going to scrunch up his face in disgust after Chanyeol dropped the bomb._

_Jongdae wasn't the kind of person that would tell anyone at school and he would never say anything hurtful on purpose either but they wouldn't be able to hang out anymore in the future if he had a problem with people who were attracted to the same gender - if Chanyeol's deepest fear turned out to be true and he wasn't simply confused._

_Those uncertain feelings could ruin more than six long years of friendship in a matter of seconds._

_They could turn them into mere strangers._

_Just like that._

_"Uhh ... honestly, dunno if I'm.. I... I probably shouldn't tell ya," Chanyeol admitted hesitantly, drawing up his knees. "Not- not because I don't wanna! But you're... like, ya .. you might dump me as well if I do. N' I can't really... that .. I'm too used to.. to you bein' around me to go on without ya. Would feel hella weird all on my own ... as.. as if something's important missing. Something I'm most likely never gonna get back again if things go extremely wrong," he explained and rested his chin on his knees, gulping when Jongdae sat down right in front of him and gave him an intense look._

_His brows were furrowed and his lips pursed, a serious expression Chanyeol had seen several times this week even though it used to be an extremely rare sight._

_Growing up was no fun. Why couldn't they just turn back time and continue to be troublesome kids for real instead of ignoring the truth and only pretend?_

_"Miss me with that bullshit Chan. You know you could tell me you've **killed** someone and I would help you hide the body without questioning it," the brown haired boy reproached Chanyeol for thinking he would ever end their friendship. "And there's no way that whatever went down is worse than murder so I can't see where you're coming from. Really not. It's unlike you to doubt me."_

_'Maybe but I've got a damn good reason,' Chanyeol protested silently, still unsure if he should go ahead and blurt said reason out or keep his mouth shut as originally planned._

_He wanted to believe those words, he really wanted to, but for some reason, Jongdae's seemingly shatterproof trust only made things more difficult._

_"We never really- I mean, I... no clue if you .. if you're really gonna be o..okay with .... with me.. me bein' .." he paused when his nose started tingling, burying his face in his knees instead of speaking the final word out._

_The devastating feeling didn't want to disappear though._

_"Shit I'm gonna cry again," Chanyeol mumbled into his black sweats, biting his trembling lower lip harshly now that the first tear was already trickling down his left cheek._

_And here he thought he couldn't possibly have any more tears left after crying all evening._

_As usually, Jongdae reacted quickly and wrapped his arms around Chanyeol's shaky body to pull him into a tight embrace._

_The much needed hug filled the heartbroken teenager with warmth, more tears flooding his eyes when Jongdae started rubbing his back soothingly._

_'I wanna be normal ... not.. not different.. not gross.. not disgusting ... just .. normal...' Chanyeol thought, holding onto Jongdae with all his might while sobbing uncontrollably. 'Why can't I be like the rest??'_

" _Shh. Deep breaths Chan," Jongdae whispered but Chanyeol continued choking on his own tears, digging his nails desperately into his friend's arms. "Hey, listen, I know it's not easy but try to calm down, okay? We can talk about this later. I think you need a break first. Badly."_

' _Break...? No.. what I need is.. it's ...'_

_Chanyeol lifted his head so suddenly that his surroundings started spinning, the unclear shapes everywhere around him making him dizzy._

_His dad was right._

_He needed someone to fix him._

_Right fucking now._

_He pushed Jongdae away and jumped to his feet, the black spots in front of his eyes so irritating that he almost collapsed._

_The teenager clenched his teeth and kept going despite his blurred vision though, each of his steps concerningly wobbly._

_"What even?! Where do you think you're going?"_

_"Out," Chanyeol replied absentmindely, his hand already on the doorknob._

_He had no idea how to find a psychiatrist that didn't cost the world in the middle of the night but there had to be **someone** who could help him out._

_Even if he had to walk hundreds of miles to get to said someone._

 " _Oh hell NO!!" Jongdae hissed and sprinted towards the end of the room, slapping Chanyeol's hand away. "Forget it! You're white as a sheet and barely able to walk normally! I'm not going to let you go anywhere, not like this!!"_

_Chanyeol narrowed his puffy eyes, giving Jongdae the death glare when the latter blocked the door with his body. "Get outta the way," he growled, his deep and unusual gruff voice surprising both of them._

_"No," Jongdae repeated firmly despite the little shock moment and leaned against the door, giving his friend no chance to leave his room._

_Both of them stared at each other for several seconds straight but in the end, Chanyeol broke the intense eye contact by lowering his head._

_"Please ..." he begged quietly, a heartwrenching mix of distress and pure sorrow replacing his anger. "Let me go.. I ... I need.."_

_'..to get him to love me again ...'_

_"Rest," Jongdae finished the sentence and brushed Chanyeol's left shoulder, squeezing it softly. "The only thing you need is rest, Chan. I can see you blacking out if you keep pushing yourself like that, no joke. You don't want that to happen, right?" he asked, smiling to himself when Chanyeol shook his head so lightly that it was barely noticeable._

_"Thought so. Okay, how about this then: You change your clothes and make yourself comfy while I get us some chocolate so that we have a snack while rewatching the first few episodes of Digimon Tamers together?" Jongdae suggested even though it was long past 11pm and they had school tomorrow._

_As expected, Chanyeol raised his head upon hearing the name of one of their favorite anime series from years ago that was related to tons of delightful memories, pouting despite his obvious interest._

_"Aww come on Channie! Spending some time with the coolest person in the entire world sounds much better than being all alone in the cold, doesn't it?"_

_"You n' cool? Are ya bonkers? You're a total loser," Chanyeol dead-panned and wiped the remaining tears on his face away, the right corner of his lips curving up when Jongdae gave his shoulder a nudge._

_Maybe he should listen to him._

_Staying here and having this idiot by his side instead of going on a probably unsolvable quest sounded more inviting indeed._

_Still, he had to-_

_"By the way, I forgot to mention. My parents bought the chocolate with smarties inside this time," Jongdae added, smirking triumphantly when Chanyeol let out a dramatic gasp._

_"Oh my gosh why didn't ya say so right away?? Count me the **fuck** in," he squealed and ran back towards the bed, somehow making it without injuring himself despite tripping over his feet twice._

_Jongdae shook his head over his best friend's typical clumsiness and opened the door, making sure that his parents were still sleeping before walking into the kitchen._

_He grabbed the highly anticipated chocolate bar and a bottle of water, sighing in relief after arriving in his room again._

_Chanyeol was curled up on the bed and has drifted into dreamland already, a content smile on his lips._

 

 

 

 

 

* * *

「 _Friday, 9 November 2015_ 」

* * *

 

_'Y'know what? You won. Dun' have the energy for your bullshit today,' Chanyeol thought while staring at the ridiculous small number displayed on his calculator. The urge to destroy the devilish device with his bare hands was dangerously strong._

_He groaned in frustration and banged his forehead on the desk instead, the sudden loud thud scaring every student around him._

_"Park! Quiet!!"_

_'Oh shit.'_

_Chanyeol sat up straight again immediately, swallowed his gum and gave his math teacher a dazzling smile while blinking innocently, trying his best to ignore the throbbing pain caused by the harmful hit._

_Such simple actions paired with the right words have saved his butt countless times already but getting his way just by turning on the charm was never going to work for that beast of a teacher._

_She **wanted** him to suffer. It was painfully obvious._

_The old woman approached him with quick steps, stopped right in front of him and rested a hand on her hip. She inspected him with a displeased expression on her face._

_"What's your answer for number twelve?" Mrs Sonwu asked, tapping her fingers impatiently on his desk._

_'Lol. You seriously think I've solved more than three questions ...?' Chanyeol had to use all his self control to prevent himself from bursting into laughter and looked down, checking his notes obediently despite knowing that he wasn't going to find the requested solution there._

_He had spent most of the lesson with thinking about possible ways to improve his crumbling relationship with his dad again._

_Besides, math had been his sworn enemy since the very beginning of his school career. H_ _is hate towards the downright evil subject only increasd with each year that passed._

_Chanyeol had no idea who invented math but that person had to be related to the devil itself. There was no other explanation for the subject's endless inhumanity._

_Unwillingly, he searched for the question on the worksheet Mrs Sonwu had given them at the beginning of the last period, unable to read the absurd task with a straight face._

_'A rectangle is eight times as long as it is wide. If the length is increased by eight inches and the width is decreased by one inch, the area will be hundred square inches. What were the dimensions of the original rectangle?'_

_'Why would I care?! That stupid ass rectangle can fuck itself with a cactus no matter how big it is,' Chanyeol thought instead of focusing on the given task, sulking._

_Not like it mattered._

_He couldn't solve such complex math problems anyway, especially not while that monster was watching him._

_"Bummer. Looks like I accidentally skipped that one. Sorry," he eventually apologized with a shrug of his shoulders, the ringing of the bell saving him from his teacher's wrath - for now at least._

_"Attention! The student Park Chanyeol needs to come to the secretary's office immediately. It's urgent. I repeat, Park Chanyeol to the secretary's office please!"_

_'Eh?'_

_The teenager frowned because of the announcement, confusion written all over his face._

_He might have had the reputation of being a disruptive troublemaker and was used to being called to the office for the most hideous reasons at this point, but he couldn't think of any recent crime that would justify the need of another pointless talk about his 'childish' attitude._

_Unless ..._

' _Fuck. He didn't tell 'em anything about that disaster yesterday ... right ..'_

_Unintentionally, Chanyeol creased the piece of paper in his hands, the terrifying thought making him shudder._

_What if his dad actually discussed it with his school and they were planning to send him to some kind of weird camp to purify him?_

_"Tsk. Don't think I'm going to let you get away that easily Park," Mrs Sonwu grumbled and stretched out her hand. "Give me your notes. I want to take a look at them while you're gone. For now, you're dismissed."_

_Wordlessly, Chanyeol handed her the sheet (he was definitely going to get hours of detention for those illegible scribbles and wrong calculations again) and stood up, sticking out his tongue when he saw the amused look on Jongdae's face._

_They were sitting as far away from each other as possible ever since their class teacher had separated them because they kept chatting with each other instead of paying attention like they were supposed to._

_Said incident happened on the very first day of this semester already._

_Last year, their relationship as seatmates lasted for at least a week._

_Chanyeol let out a shaky breath after exiting the classroom and ran his hands through his hair, not bothering to hide his concern any longer now that he was alone._

' _Something's off. Definitely,' he thought to himself but he climbed the stairs and headed to the office despite his uneasiness, stopping dead in his tracks when he heard someone coming closer with disturbingly quick steps._

_Not the best moment to remember that creepy horror movie Jongdae and him watched a few weeks ago._

_But wasn't that-_

_"Channie!!!" his little sister squeaked the second she spotted him at the end of the hallway and closed the remaining distance between them by running towards him, hugging Chanyeol with so much force that the teenager lost his balance and toppled to the ground._

_"Ouch," he muttered and scanned Yoomi immediately to make sure she didn't get hurt as well, completely overwhelmed once his brain had progressed that his sister wasn't only in his school but also sniffling and trembling like a leaf._

_Their rather brutal encounter just now couldn't possibly be the reason for such a distressed reaction though._

_"Bambi..?"_

_Yoomi pressed her face in Chanyeol's navy blue school blazer and hiccuped, clinging to him._

_"Hey ... why are you crying? Who do I need to punish for ya? Did that big meanie try to steal your cookies again?!" Chanyeol asked while brushing her dark brown hair, hoping to calm her down with the little action. "How did you even get here? All by yourself??"_

_"M...mom ...." she sniffled quietly into his chest._

_"Mom's here as well?!"_

_Chanyeol furrowed his brows, glad that the little girl didn't walk to his school all by herself but unsure what to think about the new piece of information._

_This whole situation wasn't only off, it was freaking suspicious._

_"Thank you so much and sorry for all this drama. The three of us will get going now."_

_Chanyeol continued to brush Yoomi's hair soothingly but turned his head towards the ajar office door when he heard his mom's voice, even more confused now that he knew that she came here to pick him up as well._

_As if his random thought earlier was actually going to turn into reality._

_"Oh no, there is absolutely no need to apologize, Mrs Park! Don't worry, we'll inform his teachers and will make sure to take care of everything else, too. You should focus on yourself and your family, that's what matters the most at the moment," the school secretary adviced her._

_Chanyeol's heart missed a beat._

_Severeal beats even._

_'The freaking heck? You're gonna get rid of me?? F'real? Just like that?! Just cause-'_

_"Also, all the best to your husband of course. We're going to pray for him!"_

_Chanyeol paused his hands' movements and stared at the door with raised brows, his stomach turning because of the concerning addition that didn't fit the scenario in his head at all._

_'Wha.. why would they have to ...'_

_Did he get it all wrong? What in the world was going on?_

_"Thank you again, really," Mrs Park repeated and bowed politely before leaving the office, giving her son a sad smile when their gazes met._

_She was abnormally pale, her make up was smeared and her eyes were red from crying._

_Alarmed, Chanyeol tried to stand up but Yoomi shook her head so vehemently once he started to pull her away that he let it be and wrapped his arms securely around her petite body instead._

_"Mom...? What happened? What's with dad??" he questioned when Mrs Park stepped closer and crouched down in front of them even though he was scared of the answers. All negative feelings related to the continous arguments these days were forgotten in an instant._

_After all, he truly meant what he said before leaving his dad alone._

_He still loved him, missed feeling like he could tell him everything without having to be afraid of his reaction, yearned for those typical father-son trips they used to go on almost every single weekend ..._

_The two of them hadn't done anything like that in months._

_No wonder that their one so strong bond was falling to pieces._

_"I'm so sorry little Sunshine," his mom apologized and patted his head, tears filling her already swollen eyes._

_Chanyeol tightened his grip on his sobbing sister and watched helplessly how one tear drop escaped and ran down Mrs Park's cheek, knowing that he wasn't going to be able to handle the reason for their agony well long before his mom spoke it out._

_Actually, he didn't even want to hear it anymore._

 

 

 

 

* * *

「 _Saturday, 10 November 2015_ 」

* * *

 

_Chanyeol had never liked hospitals._

_He would rather sit in math class all day than spend just one hour in one of them._

_The typical hospital scent was repellent to him and everyone trapped in those distressing buildings was suffering in some kind of way. The offered food was even more disgusting than the crap they had to eat during their stay in that cheap student hostel on their school trip last semester and time just didn't want to pass because there was literally absolutely **nothing** interesting to do._

_Every single day of his life wasted in the hospital thanks to various painful incidents had been more bearable than their current situation though._

_They had been sitting on the uncomfortable white plastic chairs in the emergency department for so many hours that it was almost two am by now but Chanyeol hadn't seen his dad yet. Not even once._

_However, it might be for the best._

_This accident wasn't a small one after all._

_Those injuries certainly weren't wounds anyone could fix just like that._

_The picture of their damaged car on the local news didn't want to leave Chanyeol's mind, had affected him so much that he almost threw up on an empty stomach earlier._

_Now he was left wondering how his dad made it out of the vehicle alive, if the people operating on him were going to be able to save him or if this was the end._

_The situation bewildered him, too._

_Mr Park was the exact opposite of a reckless driver._

_The road was slippery thanks to the heavy rain, yes, but his dad losing control of the car on his way to work and crashing against a tree because of something that natural was something completely out of the ordinary for someone like him._

_There had to be another reason._

_Chanyeol failed to suppress a yawn and looked up. He stared at the TV screen that was mouted on the plain white wall with blank eyes, asking himself what kind of fucked up jerk came up with the glorious idea to force him to watch a documentary about World War One while he was drowning in depressing thoughts full of self-hatred._

_He got it long ago._

_This world had insanely vile, sickening and wicked sides._

_So why wasn't anyone showing him the few remaining beautiful aspects of life that always provided him with hope and optimism despite the obvious existence of those many disheartening parts?_

_Chanyeol would accept **anything** positive with open arms right now - even if he knew it was nothing but a sweet lie somewhere deep inside._

_The guilt he had been trying to repress desperately ever since he figured out the most logical and realistic cause of the car accident was still preying on his mind, perhaps devouring him as a whole soon._

_A careful person could easily make a fatal mistake despite being cautious all the time if a problem was bothering them to such an extent that they couldn't concentrate properly anymore._

_Said problem could be anything._

_A lost job, a broken heart, debts ..._

_... or a recent argument with a family member._

_Chanyeol dug his nails into his clammy palms when the weighty thought crossed his mind for the nth time, so deeply that he felt a sharp sting._

_He didn't stop though._

_That light pain surely hurt but it was nothing compared to what his dad was currently going through - all because of a stubborn fool with pastel pink hair and painted nails that didn't obey, caused nothing but trouble and disappointed him on a daily basis._

_Chanyeol only put an end to the burning sensation when Yoomi shifted in his lap and his blazer slipped off her shoulders, falling to the polished floor tiles._

_He picked up the piece of clothing, covered his younger sister with it again and inspected her tear-stained face after tucking a lock of hair behind her ear, envy sparking in his former emotionless eyes even though she looked just as whacked as he currently felt._

_Yoomi seemed to be able to sleep peacefully at least._

_He was most definitely going to have a disturbing nightmare if he followed her example and gave in to his weariness as well._

_'Well-deserved.'_

_... Why wasn't there an off button for one's thoughts?_

_Chanyeol put his left arm protectingly around Yoomi and glanced at his mom, clenching his fists._

_She had more than enough problems without him adding yet another one but he was going to lose his mind if that torturing voice inside his head didn't shut up in the next few minutes._

_He had to get rid of it._

_At all costs._

_"Did ..."_

_Jeez. He sounded like a chain smoker in his sixties that didn't drink any water all day._

_Chanyeol swallowed and cleared his dry throat, giving it another try afterwards._

_"Did he say anything? Y'know.. 'bout our fight ..." he asked hesitantly._

_He informed his mom that he was going to spend the night at Jongdae's place shortly before arriving there that day, not replying to any of her messages ever since._

_"Mhh, he told me everything right away. We had quite a long discussion because of that, too," Mrs Park replied after a couple of seconds and brushed Chanyeol's right hand soothingly once she noticed his twisted face, the caring gesture providing him with the warmth he had needed so badly when his dad confronted him on Thursday._

_"I'm on your side Sunshine. Actually, I even scolded him," she confessed, "because I honestly doubt you were ready for that conversation. That's also why I decided to act as if it didn't happen. I think you still need some time to figure out your true feelings so we shouldn't interfere or pressure you."_

_Chanyeol closed his eyes and took a deep breath, relieved that his mom understood._

_It helped._

_It helped a whole lot._

_Those irritating feelings of guilt, however, didn't want to leave him alone._

_"Dad should have dropped the subject the moment he noticed how uncomfortable the whole situation made you feel like and yet he forced you to speak it out loud instead .. of course. You know how he acts whenever something doesn't go his way just as well as me," she continued with a pout on her lips. "He's such a big baby sometimes. I can't believe he's three years older than me."_

_Any other day, Chanyeol would have giggled because of his mom's typical nagging but today was different._

_He could only fake a smile in response to the words that had an unusual sad untertone to them._

_"He's truly.. an idiot ..."_

_"...but also the love of your life," Chanyeol finished her sentence and started searching for the tissues in her bag once he noticed tears sparkling in her eyes, handing one to her before they could escape and wet her cheeks._

_"Ahh ... I'm sorry Channie," Mrs Park sniffled while drying her tears. "I should get a grip on myself. I hate it when you two see me crying."_

_"It's okay. Yoomi's sleepin' like a bear and I dun' mind. Not gonna watch you so just let it out," Chanyeol insisted and pulled out his phone as if to prove his words, blankly staring at the lockscreen that showed his all-time favorite Pokémon Growlithe surrounded by bazing flames until the screen turned black again._

_'I should be apologizing. Not you,' he thought and pressed the lock button again and again, only realizing that it was quarter past two by now after several minutes of doing so._

_'All of this is my fault.'_

_Oddly enough, he didn't cry once ever since his mom has told him what happened - most likely because he finally spent all the tears stored inside his body._

_'Or it's 'cause a murderer d-'_

_"Mom!!!" Chanyeol called loudly to stop the appalling thought before it was too late, shutting his mouth close again when she gave him a surprised look._

_"Yes?"_

_"U-uhm. Was... was he mad at me? Or like.. did he do or say anythin' weird...?"_

_Mrs Park shook her head and wrapped a curl around her finger right before it fell in her face. "No, not really. He was pretty down the whole time though. He didn't want to explain why but I wouldn't be surprised if he felt bad for yelling at you."_

_'Crap.' Chanyeol averted his gaze and hung his head low, focusing on his shabby sneakers._

_All hopes that he was simply overreacting and had been blaming himself for nothing the whole time turned to dust just then._

_'It's really because of me then ... our fight distracted him so much that.. that...'_

_Chanyeol drew his trembling lower lip between his teeth, a sudden unpleasant aching inside his chest causing the illusion that something was attempting to shatter the essential organ to pieces._

_Something extremely powerful he couldn't stop._

_The door to their left opened just when he wanted to put the distressing emotion into words though._

_Chanyeol's muscles tensed but he didn't lift his head that was filled with thoughts too heavy for him, grabbing his mom's hand with all his force instead._

_They were the only ones there at the moment._

_That doctor came because of them._

_"D..do you have any news?" Mrs Park asked timidly when the person stopped in front of them. "Is he okay..?"_

_Chanyeol hid his face in her shoulder and closed his eyes, his stinging heart beating uncontrollably._

_"Your husband is a true fighter Mrs Park. We tried everything we could do but that would have been impossible without his strong will to live."_

_The teenager held his breath, about to scream out of frustration because of the doctor's unendurable long pause after those words full of hope._

_That couldn't mean anything good._

_No sane person would hesitate to tell an anguished woman that her husband's life was no longer at risk._

_Besides, an immensly strong fighter could still lose if his opponent had the upper hand._

_And death was undeniably the most powerful enemy someone could have._

_"We were so confident for him to pull through because he's been doing outstandingly well ever since the operation started.. and I am very, very sorry to say this," the doctor finally continued. Chanyeol buried his face deeper in Mrs Park's jacket, hoping that he could disappear forever or get lost somewhere in the fabric by doing so._

_He didn't have to open his eyes to know that he was still trappped in this damned place._

_"But ..."_

_'Don't.. I know why you're... actin' like this.. don't say it..' just.. just go away.. please ....'_

_"Unexpected complications arose around half an hour ago."_

  _Chanyeol let go of Yoomi to cover his left ear with his trembling hand, a useless attempt to save himself from the words that were going to tear his heart apart for real._

_'Shut up shut up shut up shutupshutupsh-'_

_"He passed away."_

 

 

 

 

 

 

_Chanyeol stepped inside his messy room and leaned against the door after closing it silently, letting out a harsh breath._

_He hadn't said a single word on the long ride home, still hadn't shed a single tear._

_The only thing he did during that seemingly endless period of time was beating himself up while staring out of the window with empty eyes._

_'I.. I freaking... no .. enough .... no... **NO!** '_

_He covered his face with his palms and repeated the short word again and again in order to prevent yet another harmful thought from wounding him, not budging for several minutes straight._

_It could have been hours, too._

_His heart might have hurt so much that he could have sworn it was bleeding yesterday but right now, in this very moment, the only thing left inside his chest seemed to be a giant black hole that has absorbed all his happiness and delight._

_He didn't see those significant emotions coming back to him anytime soon._

_Slowly, Chanyeol pulled his ice cold hands away and stumbled towards the bed despite still being dressed in his uncomfy school uniform, plopping down on the mattress._

_He didn't care about the few innocent plushies that got squashed under his weight but he shifted and inspected the gigantic stuffed animal right next to him with furrowed brows the second he noticed its comforting presence._

_It was much bigger than any plushie he owned. It smelled new, too._

_That thing either didn't belong to him, his memory was fooling him, or he was starting to lose his mind and saw stuff that wasn't actually there._

_'Pretty sure you're not mine... how the hell did ya get here..?' Chanyeol thought while patting the unfamiliar teddy bear's head, its fuzzy fur so incredibly soft that he couldn't help pressing the giant plushie to his chest._

_"Shit, who the fuck cares. Can I keep ya buddy? I'll take good care of you, pinky promise," he murmured, squeezing the stuffed animal and nuzzling it._

_He only let go when his right palm brushed a folded piece of paper that was attached to the bear's left ear._

_It seemed to be way too big and flimsy for a typical tag._

_Confused, Chanyeol turned the plushie so that the moonlight was shining directly onto the strange discovery, a strong wave of pain replacing the void in his chest the moment he realized **who** brought the adorable teddy bear into his room._

 

 

_'It reminded me of you'_

 

 

_That was his dad's handwriting._

_Frozen, he stared at the five little words, too shocked to tear himself away from the message written on the piece of paper._

_'What if there's more.'_

_The sudden thought that flashed through his mind was so horrifying that he pushed the plushie off the bed despite his promise, pulling his blanket over his head and facing the wall._

_Deep inside, he **wanted** to know if his dad had written anything else. However, the fear that was gripping the remains of his heart prevented him from checking it._

_Not because he might have to deal with more insensitive words that were hard to swallow._

_No, this was obviously a gesture of reconciliation after all._

_However, both parties were needed to turn said reconciliation into reality - and that was impossible._

_In the end, Chanyeol gave in, sat up, and turned on the nightlight on his bedstand before he could change his mind again, squinting because of the unpleasant brightness._

_Once he got used to the light, he scanned the pink Rilakkuma bear that was looking at him with hollow eyes, almost as if it was accusing him of abandonment._

_Now, he got what his dad's words meant._

_Its fabric had the exact same color as his hair._

_Chanyeol stood up, closing the distance between him and the stuffed bear and sat down next to it, pulling it into his lap with an exasperated sigh._

_He removed Yoomi's yellow bow hair clip that was holding the piece of paper in place and took a deep breath to mentally prepare himself before unfolding the note with shaky fingers._

_His broken heart was pounding, beating so fast that it was difficult to concentrate on the letter his dad had left behind but somehow, he managed to read it._

 

 

_'You might love such cute things a lot and it was more expensive than thought but a pricey stuffed animal won't make anything better, I'm fully aware of that._  

  _I'm honestly not sure if this is the right way to deal with our constant fights and you're free to say no of course but how about we go on a road trip tomorrow? Just you and me, like in the good old days?_

_I don't like how much things have changed between us and I'm sure you're not happy about it either._

_This_ _isn't_ _how it_ _should be_ _so let's try_ _to put an end to it, okay?_

_I want to understand you more, want you to be able to rely on me again and want you to know that I'll be there for you even when I don't fully agree with everything you do or feel._

_I thought a lot about what happened. Maybe, you're actually right with what you said. As your dad, I should accept you just the way you are instead of trying to turn you into something you're not._

_A good father wouldn't do such things._

_(And no, I'm not just saying this because mom chewed me out.)_

_I'm truly sorry for how I reacted and for what I said. I didn't mean it. You're still my son Channie, of course you are. You're always going to be.'_

  

 

_Drip._

_"Liar... you're a .. fucking liar.." Chanyeol sniffled quietly, the heartbroken words almost inaudible._

_A small sob escaped from his throat as hot tears flowed down his face and smudged the ink on the paper, his whole body shaking violently._

_'I need you more than ever right now but you're not.. not here .... you.. you're never..'_

_The teenager let go of the now crinkled letter and hugged the Rilakkuma bear with all his might, cying so hard he struggled to breathe._

_'I.. I wanna spend time ... with.. you ...' he thought, his chest rising and falling with rapid breaths. 'Really.. really wanna ..'_

_Chanyeol opened his watery eyes that were burning at this point, wiping the ugly tears away with the back of his hand._

_"But I.. I'm.. I.. I can't ...."_

_Never again._

_There weren't going to be any cheerful road trips to the weirdest and most beautiful places out there anymore. Him and his dad were never going to be able to play football or basketball together again and Chanyeol could forget about improving his basically nonexistent bowling skills now, too._

_They weren't going to make unforgettable memories during their usual camping adventures in the summer any longer. He couldn't beat his dad in every single video game anymore and they weren't going to screw up so badly at cooking that they had to order fast food to provide the family with something to eat whenever Mrs Park's shifts were longer than usually. His dad was never going to be able to hear him play the keyboard again. Their once so strong relationship was never going to get fixed even though it's what both of them had wished for ..._

_All because of him._

_'I'm... I mur... am a ... kil-'_

_No._

_Not again._

_**'SHUT THE FUCK UP!!!'** _

_Chanyeol sprang to his feet and tossed the plushie on his bed, so upset that he completely forgot to turn off the nightlight before leaving his room with quick, panicked steps._

_This time, he didn't bother to grab his jacket, didn't even put on his shoes._

_He was out of the apartment the very next moment and ran down the stairs, exiting the building in no time._

_The November wind blew mercilessly in his face that was wet with tears once he opened the entrance door, but Chanyeol jutted out his chin, sniffled and stepped outside. The ground under his thin unicorn socks was so cold that it seemed to freeze his feet._

_He closed his eyes and took a long, deep breath before starting to run as fast as he could, no idea where to go but not stopping once._

_'I ... I wanna.. disappear ....' Chanyeol thought, breathing hard while clutching the stitch in his side. 'Too much .. too much ... it's too fucking much ...'_

_At some point, near a flickering street light in a run-down alley that smelled like smoke mixed with tequila, he tripped over a shattered bottle of beer, lost his balance and fell to the dirty ground. One of the many sharp glass splitters everywhere around him cut deeply into his left index finger in the process._

_The piercing sting overshadowed the unbearable ache inside his chest, hurt so much that he let out a shrill, deafening scream._

_Chanyeol scrunched up his face in pain and turned his trembling hands around, gasping for air._

_He watched how much blood was oozing from the wound with terror, the dark red liquid running down his throbbing finger and staining the sleeve of his white shirt in a matter of seconds._

_'I keep.. screwin' up ... everything I'm doing is.. wrong,' he thought while trying to wipe the blood away, more desperate tears filling his eyes since the harmful cut continued to bleed heavily even so._

_He couldn't erase those gory traces._

_They were sticking to his body and clothes, tainting him._

_"I.. di...didn't mean.. to .." Chanyeol croaked helplessly._

_He closed his exhausted eyes shut to escape from the appalling sight and covered his face with his bloody palms, his body shivering because of the ruthless cold._

_'I'm.. sorry... come back.. please ... c..come back ...'_

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> She doesn't have an account on here but a HUGE thaaaank youuuuu to Cherri for betareading for me from now on!! ♡ ♡ ♡
> 
>  
> 
> I know, I know. I'm evil.
> 
> I often had to pause while writing because I was thinking stuff like "What in the WORLD am I doing this is too cruel!!" T^T
> 
> But I also smiled every now and then... I admit it.
> 
> Aaaand I feel like Jongdae and Baekhyun are about to come for me because I hurt their precious cinnamon roll fjdsalfjödsa
> 
> This is kinda evil as well but I also hope this flashback hit you right in the feels. Sorry not sorry :3
> 
> The next chapter will contain more fluff again though so no worries! You need a little break before the next wave of pain comes - and trust me, that's going to happen sooner or later ehehe^^
> 
> *glances at the chapter I've written this month* ...welp.
> 
> Happy Halloween~


	7. Sparks of light

* * *

「 _Monday, 23 November 2018_ 」

* * *

 

Baekhyun turned the page of the comic he was reading and shoved another piece of chocolate in his mouth, humming to the anime ending song he and Chanyeol were listening to as he savoured the sweet taste.

This soothing peacefulness was balm for the soul.

The old library had become their go-to place during school breaks in no time. It was saving him from students that had calmed down for now and didn't hurt him physically any longer but gave him derogatory glares full of hate whenever he passed them.

Baekhyun wouldn't be surprised if those bullies lost their composure and fell back into old habits soon though.

His school life these days was _too_ peaceful for things to stay this way forever.

He didn't trust the serenity.

"Hey ... Baek."

The teenager looked to the right upon hearing Chanyeol's sleepy voice, snorting when his gaze fell on his yawning classmate.

His hair that was more of a light strawberry blonde color ever since the dye had started fading was an endless mess, his arms and head resting comfortably on the desk.

Chanyeol gave him a contented smile once their gazes met, barely able to keep his teary eyes open - a sight that made Baekhyun yawn as well even though he got plenty of rest last night.

"Yeah?"

"Uhm, 'bout Friday."

God, no. He should have seen that coming.

_'Bye-bye precious calmness,'_ Baekhyun thought and rolled his eyes, stopping Chanyeol with a wave of his hand before he could continue. "Forget it," he grumbled, closing the comic book. "You can ask me as many times as you want, I'm not interested and that's not going to change so keep your mouth shut if you're unable to come up with better topics."

"Can't you at least think 'bout it? For me? Pretty please ..?" Chanyeol begged despite those disheartening words and tilted his head, a slight pout on his plump lips as he was giving him the innocent puppy eyes.

Baekhyun, however, wasn't going to fall for his charms.

(This guy surely knew how to get what he wanted though, he had to give him that.)

"Hmmn let's see," he began, leaning back in his squeaky chair. "Sneaking out and risking to get grounded for spending my dear freetime at a house party somewhere in a small ass hicksville together with loud, drunk and horny teens I don't know - don't want to know, I might add," Baekhyun huffed and crossed his arms, "feeling uncomfy as heck the entire time because I have to _interact_ with said idiots, being forced to listen to horrendous music all night, losing you somewhere in the crowd and worrying until I can't think clearly anymore and those goddamn attacks come at me again ... or stuffing myself with pizza and chips while playing LOL in my pyjamas."

Baekhyun rested his left elbow on the table, propping his chin in the palm of his hand. "Shit, what to do?" he sighed and looked up at the ceiling. "Such a difficult decision. I can't possibly pick one of those two options. I mean, they're _obviously_ equal," he scoffed and took another piece of chocolate, inspecting it before biting into it.

"Pff. Your sarcasm is showing," Chanyeol commented, puffing up his cheeks when Baekhyun simply shrugged his shoulders and devoured the chocolate instead of replying verbally.

"Really dunno why you're saying such weird things though. Trust me, my friends aren't bad at all n' I already told ya I'd make sure you're gonna be alright if you decide to join... n' it's my _birthday_ party, in case that you forgot. Not just some random ass party in the middle of nowhere," he corrected and sat up, trying to fix his mess of a hairstyle with his hands.

_'No shit, Sherlock. That's part of the problem,'_ Baekhyun thought but he kept that piece of information to himself.

"Yeah, true. Right. That totally changes everything of cou-"

"Awesome!! Knew you were gonna say yes in the end!" Chanyeol interrupted him with a wide grin, his whole face glowing with excitement. "I'll pick ya up at seven then!"

"Don't you fucking _dare,_ Buttercup!" Baekhyun hissed and grabbed the thin comic book, about to hit Chanyeol's forehead but pausing since his seatmate protected his face with his hands.

They were covered in those childish pink Hello Kitty band-aids because his clumsy ass kept breaking stuff at work and somehow always managed to cut himself while cleaning up.

Baekhyun couldn't help but stare at the exposed scar on Chanyeol's left index finger he had never noticed until recently, knowing that he would have a similar mark on his cheek today if it wasn't for this guy.

_'Yep, tryin' to stop that psycho was damn risky - like, the video might have been good enough even without me coming closer cause you could hear everything perfectly fine but shit, what else was I supposed to do in that moment?! Back then.. seriously, it hurt so freakin' much. No kidding. Dun think I would've been able to forgive myself if I let him do the same to you just cause it's too dangerous to be anywhere near him.'_

Baekhyun recalled the words his friend had told him after telling him about his dad and showing him the scar, pursing his lips.

He had been thinking a lot about Chanyeol's heart-wrenching past ever since he first heard it, was wondering how the taller could still smile whenever it crossed his mind.

He wouldn't be able to do so anymore after experiencing such heavy things.

"As I told you the first time you asked me, I just can't with people. If it's the two of us only I'm more than fine with meeting up but don't expect more of me," Baekhyun reminded Chanyeol and pulled his backpack into his lap, tucking away the comic and the delicious chocolate instead of going for the playful hit.

_'You're saying all of this assuring crap now but looks like you're forgetting that you haven't seen any of those people ever since you moved, huh?'_ he thought while zipping up the black rucksack _. 'Also, they organized that damn party for you specifically. You're the star of the evening and a social butterfly, too, so people aren't going to leave you alone. You'll be so busy with your friends and old classmates that you'll forget about me in no time. I'm not as important or interesting as them though so I wouldn't even be mad at you.'_

Baekhyun stood up and headed towards the door once he finished packing up, waiting for Chanyeol to follow him.

_'It's just ... I know me. My thoughts turn damn ugly whenever I have too much time for myself and I really don't want to be the party pooper and ruin everything for you just because I'm jelly.'_

That wouldn't be fair.

It wasn't Chanyeol's fault that he had never made any deep friendships. That he got hurt whenever he tried.

His seatmate wasn't responsible for the boring as hell birthday 'parties' his parents were usually organizing for him either.

Baekhyun always had to spend his birthdays with pesky relatives he couldn't stand. The food didn't suit his taste in any way because apparently, it was more important to please the guests than _him_ on his special day. He was receiving terrible presents he had never asked for every single year since his parents rather provided him with school material or boring nonfiction books instead of buying the newest games, DVDs or comics for him ...

Baekhyun had stopped looking forward to May 6th long ago, toxic jealousy filling him whenever he witnessed people his age hanging out with their friends and enjoying their time on their birthdays.

"Sorry to let you down but parties aren't my type of thing," Baekhyun added to put an end to the irksome topic and started to sway impatiently on his feet.

Chanyeol hadn't budged for a while even though the class was starting in less than five minutes.

"Could you move your lazy butt now please?! I don't want to be late again!"

"Fine," his seatmate muttered quietly, grabbing his bag. He fished out a stick of gum of his front pocket, stood up and passed him without giving him a glance, unwrapping the piece of candy and shoving it into his mouth after walking through the door.

_'Okay, wow. Rude,'_ Baekhyun thought and scrunched up his nose, leaving their beloved library as well.

In the end, he broke the uncommon awkward silence on their way to the classroom after a couple of seconds already, too used to Chanyeol beaming with happiness and running his mouth all the time to stay quiet now that his friend was looking all butthurt.

"Someone needs a Happy Meal," Baekhyun remarked with a roll of his eyes, pulling a face when he noticed Jiseok and Rebecca who were making out in the middle of the hallway as if they weren't in school but in a night club or right in her freaking bedroom.

Disgusting.

_'Yikes. Guess I have to add a few bottles of bleach to that McDonald's order.'_

Baekhyun looked away, the obnoxious image clearly on his mind even so. _'In all seriousness, what the fuck did I do to deserve this shit? Is it because I turned Yeol's offer down or what?!'_

Karma seemed to be an entitled bitch indeed - just like Rebecca.

For some unexplainable (and extremely suspicious) reason, those two hadn't done anything dangerous ever since Bryan got suspended, yes, but Baekhyun could live his joke of a life perfectly fine without having to witness how that jerk shoved his tongue too deep into Rebecca's slutty mouth while groping her ass.

Their teachers couldn't care less about such offensive things but they gave students detention for running in hallways right away of course - even when said students had a damn good reason to do so.

The school rules and regulations didn't make any sense. Baekhyun had given up on trying to understand them.

"Nah, dun waste your money on me ... I get why ya don't feel like going, I'm just down cause I want you to be there as well. Like, really," Chanyeol mumbled, the glumness in his voice catching Baekhyun's attention again. "Really really."

"Why though? All your other friends will be there or not?" Baekhyun asked and opened the door to their classroom, sighing in relief since they actually arrived there without being spotted by the annoying couple.

Any tactless remarks could lead to new problems in a matter of seconds, he was fully aware of that, but he knew he wouldn't have been able to bite back a sassy comment if Jiseok or Rebecca happened to see the two of them even so.

That's how much he hated them.

"Yep," Chanyeol confirmed and glanced at him before sitting down, blowing a bubble with his gum until it popped

"But they're not _you_."

 

 

 

 

* * *

「 _Friday, 27 November 2018_ 」

* * *

 

_'It's not_ _too late yet. I could still run,'_ Baekhyun thought, staring at the door in front of him with narrowed eyes.

He wrapped his arms protectively around his body when a cold wind breeze made him shudder, accidentally hitting his head with the confetti balloons he bought in a nearby party decoration shop.

_'For fuck's sake, I fucking **should** run.'_

He didn't know what had come over him.

It all started a couple of days ago, when his parents told him they were going to visit his scornful aunt over the weekend - a spontaneous decision that ticked him off and ruined his mood so much that he didn't even feel like gaming anymore.

In fact, Baekhyun despised her bitchy attitude and his snobby cousin to such an extent that he couldn't simply accept the cruel plan his dad had come up with and fought back by acting as if he didn't feel well after coming home from school today, giggling happily into his pillow the very second his parents finally stopped bugging him and left the house without him.

And what did he do instead of enjoying his alone time at home?

Why, getting ready for Chanyeol's birthday party and heading to his place of course.

He didn't mean to give in but in the end, he _had_ to admit defeat.

Resisting those big puppy eyes full of sorrow that have been staring right into his soul every single day had been impossible.

_'Damn you Yeol,'_ Baekhyun cursed silently and rang the bell instead of listening to his own thoughts, set on making his persistent friend happy. _'I'll throw your entire stash of gum out of the goddamn window if this doesn't make you fucking smil-'_

"Yes? Who is it?" Chanyeol's mom asked over the door intercom system, her soft voice interrupting Baekhyun's violent thought.

He had been hoping for her to receive him.

For now, things were going just according to plan.

"I, uhm, hello! Good evening Mrs Park!" Baekhyun greeted her awkwardly, bowing even though she couldn't see it.

"Ohh! Baekh-"

"Wait!! Don't give me away! He doesn't know anything, this is a surprise!" he cut her off in panic before she could speak out his name, regretting that he had made this foolish decision now already. "Uhh.. I'm ... I didn't really think this through to be honest but can- could you let me in and tell Yeo- Chanyeol it's a parcel for him or something along the way please ...? Could you do that for me, Mrs Park?"

_'Yeah, right. What a fantastic idea. I'm so fucking **stupid** ,' _Baekhyun thought, smacking his forehead. _'Why the fuck am I doing this to myself?! I could be having such a nice time right now but nooope, my weak ass had to back down instead.'_

The things he was doing for this gigantic idiot ...

Luckily, Mrs Park had no clue about his current feelings so she gave him a cheerful giggle and opened the entrance door without further ado.

"Oh my! Yes, of course! I'll tell him to accept the package. Come on in!!"

Baekhyun heaved a sigh and stepped inside the apartment complex now that he couldn't change his mind any longer, climbing the stairs.

The teenager hid his face behind the pretty balloons and knocked hesitantly once he was standing in front of the door to Chanyeol's home, his heart making a little flip since it opened right away.

"... errm.. what even ..?" came the puzzled reaction to his spontaneous idea, a response that satisfied Baekhyun completely.

Maybe, this whole plan wasn't as bad as first thought.

Forcing himself to step out of his comfort zone had been a tough task for sure and things could go completely wrong but this evening might also turn into an interesting experience he didn't need to regret.

An experience he would miss out on if he stayed at home.

"Surprise bitch," Baekhyun sniggered therefore, grinning because Chanyeol gasped dramatically the moment he recognized his voice. "Bet you thought you'd seen the last of me."

"Baek ...?"

Quickly, his seatmate shoved the balloons away, looking at him with huge eyes once they were out of the way.

Blue eyes.

Slate blue eyes.

Slate blue eyes that had colorful glitter all around them, adorned with sparkly silver eyeshadow and smudged eyeliner.

They were partly covered by pastel blue bangs even though Chanyeol's hair was freaking _blonde_ just a few hours ago.

_'Holy fuck. Like a fairy,'_ Baekhyun marvelled at the sight, yet again unable to stop staring into Chanyeol's eyes.

How to?

Okay, he had seen quite similar pictures of him on his Instagram account but the effect of that strong gaze was noticeably stronger in real life, giving him no chance to focus on anything else - literally hypnotizing him.

"Woah.. this is ... completely outta the blue to be honest," Chanyeol admitted, doing Baekhyun a huge favor by averting his captivating eyes and focusing on his feet instead.

His classmate's outfit wasn't any less impressive though.

The loose plain white shirt with rolled up sleeves didn't only reveal his forearms but also exposed a good amount of chest, his long silver necklace with a big clef charm attached to it suited a music lover like him perfectly and those tight faux leather pants that couldn't possibly be comfortable completed the look, matching his glossy black nails.

The only accessory that didn't fit in was a bracelet made out of pastel colored star shaped and round white beads that formed the word 'Channie', most likely a birthday present made by his little sister.

Still, if he showed up at school dressed up like that, girls would be all over him in a matter of seconds.

He would most likely get expelled, too.

"Dang. Same for me, you know? Why didn't you tell me you've got another part-time job as a stripper?" Baekhyun asked casually and let go of the bothersome balloons that floated up right away, snickering because Chanyeol wheeled around to make sure his mom didn't hear the teasing comment on his fancy attire.

"Guess I should have made the effort to dress properly as well instead of putting on the first somewhat stylish clothes I found but it's whatever," Baekhyun continued with a shrug of his shoulders. "I'm just your moody company no one will care about anyway so it should be alright."

(And actually, the black sweatshirt combined with the torn washed out jeans should be sufficient for a party. At least, he didn't come in his sweats.)

"Wait what?" Chanyeol was facing him again in no time, his eyes sparkling with hope. "Holy- Did I hear that right?? You're actually gonna join?!" he squeaked, an unnecessary question that earned him one of Baekhyun's typical eye rolls.

Why else would he be here right now?

"Pff, dream on, Blueberry," he sneered. "Are you really that gullible? Clearly, I decided to pay you a visit just in time and all styled up only to give you those useless balloo-"

Baekhyun stopped abruptly because Chanyeol opened his arms and embraced him without any warning, his dizzying cotton candy scent so strong that the smaller had to hold back a sneeze.

Well, that was unexpected.

"The fuck are you doing," Baekhyun asked in a deadpan voice once his nose didn't tingle any longer, gasping for air since his classmate squeezed him a little bit _too_ tightly instead of replying. "Ugh, calm your fucking ass, dude! I won't be able to go anywhere with you if you hug me to death!!" he whined while squirming in Chanyeol's arms, sighing in relief when he finally let go.

"Oops! My bad," his almost-murderer giggled innocently. Chanyeol pressed his hands to his face and squished his cheeks, jumping around like a kid that just got the permission to open his Christmas presents after hours of waiting.

And this guy seriously turned 17 today?

"But I just couldn't help it, y'know? That's like the best surprise ever, seriously!!! Had to express my gratefulness somehow!" Chanyeol explained himself after stopping his little dance, a smile so wide on his lips that a deep dimple appeared on his left cheek.

"So you're happy, right?" Baekhyun assured himself even though the answer couldn't be more obvious, returning the smile.

"Mhhm! I'm stoked!!"

_'Mission accomplished.'_

 

 

 

 

Baekhyun took a sip of his delicious strawberry cocktail and placed it on the garden table in front of him, his full attention still on his phone even though the video that had been entertaining him ever since he went outside ended a couple of minutes ago.

He knew he should interact with Chanyeol's friends instead of watching anime all alone while everyone else was enjoying their time but he couldn't help it.

Those people weren't nearly as uncivil as feared but he _needed_ that break from all those strangers no matter how kind they were to him.

The wind felt bitterly cold on his skin and the wall lamp near him barely provided any light but Baekhyun didn't budge in his wooden chair.

Not even when his fingers started to hurt.

Stubbornly, he stayed in the backyard of the foreign house somewhere in the middle of Chanyeol's old hometown, snorting after opening Instagram.

_'It's not like I'm surprised but so much for taking care of me, you scumbag,'_ he thought, the photo '×loeY×' uploaded a while ago annoying the hell out of him.

Chanyeol was smiling like crazy while munching his birthday cake, chocolate sauce and whipped cream all over his cheeks and lips.

That messed up face together with the tacky silver plastic crown his friends have put on his head the moment he arrived at his party made the picture absolutely ridiculous.

(Baekhyun couldn't deny that it looked quite adorable, too, but that was beside the point.)

_'You know what? You would be the worst prince ever. Handsome and loved by everyone but good for fucking nothi-'_

Baekhyun jerked his head up when the back door opened, the tiny spark of hope that lit up inside him perishing immediately because his gaze didn't fall on his idiot of a seatmate but on the asshat that kept appearing on Chanyeol's Instagram account.

The teenager pursed his lips and focused on his phone again, not saying a word, even though the person that was most likely planning to disrupt him from being his introvert self wasn't simply any random guest but the host himself.

_'You better get the fuck away from me right fucking now bitch,'_ Baekhyun thought instead of opening his mouth, his grip on his phone so tight that his knuckles turned white. _'I don't have the fucking energy to pretend I like you.'_

The reason for his detest was extremely immature, Baekhyun was fully aware of that, but feelings had the troublesome tendency to be incredibly difficult to control sometimes.

Especially when they were so powerful that it seemed to be impossible to suppress them.

"Dang. If looks could kill, I would be dead right now," Jongdae cackled and closed the glass door behind him, his distinctive noisy laughter irking Baekhyun. "Sorry that I'm not Chan but only his best friend."

_'With all due respect, fuck you.'  
_

Baekhyun grimaced and brought the device closer to his face, refreshing his feed.

Best friend.

Surprisingly, the joyful birthday party itself had barely bothered him so far but those two simple words ignited a mighty fire out of burning jealousy inside him in a matter of seconds.

Probably because it was always the same, even when he magically started to get along with someone that didn't have any bad intentions and actually liked him the way he was.

Baekhyun could spend countless hours at Chanyeol's side despite having his little problems with draining social interactions every now and then, in the end, the taller was never going to see him as his favorite person or as anything remotely similar.

He wasn't going to consider him a friend he couldn't only joke around and have fun with but also come to whenever he needed help.

That spot was already taken by Jongdae.

Chanyeol had almost fooled Baekhyun into thinking otherwise but he wasn't anything special.

No.

In fact, his name was written somewhere at the very bottom of a seemingly endless list because he was acting as a replacement for Chanyeol's close friends now that his seatmate couldn't hang out with them as often as before anymore.

Chanyeol was only going to show interest in him again once those true friends weren't around anymore.

That was the bitter truth Baekhyun had to accept.

And yes, he had tried to mentally prepare himself for that, expected it...

...but being treated like a new shiny toy that couldn't compete with the beloved and familiar old ones despite its qualities felt like a slap right in the face.

"Sucks that I don't have such powers. I would put them to good use for sure," Baekhyun retorted after putting his phone away since he couldn't stay quiet forever, grimacing because Jongdae took his reply as a permission to sit down next to him.

"Don't you have guests to take care of or so ..." Baekhyun murmured and folded his arms, set on ridding himself of one of the main reasons for his irritated mood as quickly as possible.

"That's why I'm here!" Jongdae explained with excitement in his voice, either ignoring Baekhyun's attitude or simply not getting the hint. "This is the perfect opportunity for us to get to know each other, Baekkie! We sh-"

"Woah, slow the fuck down," Baekhyun interrupted him before Jongdae could continue getting on his nerves with that maddening cheerfulness that reminded him of his seatmate.

Okay, this airhead couldn't possibly know so it wasn't like he did it on purpose but that didn't change the fact that Jongdae just crossed a line that shouldn't be overstepped by anyone.

Ever.

"First of all, the name's _Baekhyun_ ," the teenager hissed between gritted teeth, not bothering to hide how exasperated he was because of this guy. "Don't you dare call me _'Baekkie'_ ever again - ugh, I can't fucking _stand_ that stupid ass name," he cursed, unable to keep a straight face thanks to the disgusting word that was tainted with bad memories he would never be able to forget.

"Also, I don't _want_ to get to know you. I thought it's pretty damn obvious because I literally ran away from your dumb little party but looks like I have to explain it verbally, huh?"

Baekhyun glared at Jongdae, the endeared smile on the other's lips making his blood boil.

Chanyeol's number one person didn't seem to be impressed by the rant at all but Baekhyun was just getting started.

This was only the beginning.

"I fucking _hate_ people, it's simple like that. Thanks a lot for inviting me and all - it's a huge ass honor and I almost cried like a little bitch when I got to know, that's how fucking delighted I was about the great news," Baekhyun sneered, "but I don't give a flying fuck about you guys. Yeol's literally the only reason why I'm here, sorry not sorry. _'His Majesty'_ , however, is currently occupied with more important things and he's rather spending his time with others even though he literally _begged_ me to come here so you might be able to imagine how fucking _pissed_ I am at the moment. And I do **not** recommend being anywhere near me when I'm about to snap. You got that?!"

Baekhyun huffed and turned away, praying that this persistent dimwit would finally leave him alone now as he emptied his glass.

Slowly but surely, he started to regret that he asked for an alcohol free cocktail earlier - especially since Jongdae whistled and leaned back in his chair instead of fulfilling his wish.

"Shit, this is amazing. I used to think Chan was exaggerating back then but you're literally exactly like he described you when he first told me about you. How cool is that?"

"Eh? What did he say about me?" Baekhyun raised his right brow and stared at the other male, cursing himself for reacting to his words.

This way, he wasn't going to get rid of him anytime soon.

" _'Looks cute as heck, seems squeaky-clean but kinda shy and gives you those 'boy next door' vibes until he opens his mouth and hits you with sarcasm and tons of swear words. Or he simply ignores your existence'_ ," Jongdae quoted, a smug grin on his face. "That's spot on perfect, at least for my first impression of you!"

_'Coming here was one of the dumbest decisions I've ever made,'_ Baekhyun realized and rubbed his numb hands to warm them up again, letting out an exhausted sigh.

A couple of weeks ago, he wouldn't even have _thought_ about ditching League of Legends for someone else's birthday party.

"So? It's not like it's difficult to find that shit out. You're expecting me to give him a cookie for pointing out the obvious now or what?"

"Hmm, great idea! Smarties cookies are his favorite, you can't go wrong with those!" Jongdae exclaimed, a new piece of information Baekhyun rather would have gotten directly from Chanyeol and not from anybody else.

Apparently, he had to ask him many more questions if he wanted to keep up with someone who seemed to know absolutely  _everything_ about his seatmate.

"Also, he didn't forget about you or so, in case you're thinking something along the way. He could never. Actually, 'His Majesty' is looking for you since like almost half an hour already," Jongdae revealed after a few moments of silence, his tone serious all of a sudden.

Those words couldn't sound any less believable but naturally, Baekhyun pricked up his ears upon hearing them.

"He's unlucky as fuck though. His phone died so he can't contact you, everyone wants to know how he's doing and many of us are wondering if Seoul's really as great as people always say so he's getting tons of questions about that big city life," he continued, shrugging. "By the way, that's also why he asked me to search for you! He wants me to find out if you're just being antisocial or if you're on the verge of dying - and feel free to correct me but I would say you're perfectly fine because you chewed me out real good just now," Jongdae added with a cheeky smile.

This guy was equivalent to a long, snowy and freezing cold Monday morning.

"Listen buddy, no offence but I'd be much better if you fucked off," Baekhyun grumbled and zipped up his jacket, trembling because of the chilly wind. "I prefer being alone."

"I know. Just one more minute, okay? Please?"

_'Wait what,'_ Baekhyun thought, a frown on his face when their eyes met. "Why? You like being around impolite bastards that bitch you out for trivial shit or what?"

"Pff, no. Not at all," Jongdae objected and gave a snort, one corner of his lips curving up in amusement. "I guess I can handle such things quite well though? Or I'm immune by now, not sure. I'm kinda used to it because Chan used to act the same a while ago but trust me, dealing with him was a real pain in the ass back then," he let Baekhyun know.

Chanyeol had mentioned this as well when he visited him for the first time but it was hard to imagine.

His seatmate had never been mean to him after all.

He had blinded Baekhyun with bright and soothing gentleness, had helped him to get out of the chaos caused by those merciless bullies and apparently, he had even sent his best friend to make sure he was alright because he couldn't check on him himself.

"It's just ... I, uhm, well..." Jongdae trailed off and averted his gaze, his change in behaviour confusing Baekhyun even more. "Uhh I ... it's obvious you want me to leave you alone.. and I promise I won't bother you anymore after this!! But see, there's something I need to ask you, kinda," the teenager explained hesitantly while ranking his fingers through his chocolate brown hair, an uncertain tone in his voice.

"Something related to Chan, to be more precise. And I don't really have much hope but I guess it's worth a try and you're basically the only one here who could answer that question so sorry for the hassle but I don't have any other cho-"

"Jeez, stop pussyfooting around and ask already," Baekhyun interrupted him and leaned closer despite his negative feelings towards this guy, his curiosity so big that it beat the annoyance with ease.

He couldn't help it.

This was getting too interesting to put an end to it.

"Uh, I- okay then," Jongdae stuttered, inhaling deeply before following the instruction.

"So ... has he ever told you why exactly he moved?"

"Huh?" Baekhyun tilted his head, unsure if he had heard that right. "Come again?"

"Well, the whole thing was so .. weird. I mean, Chan started to distance himself without any apparent reason back in July already but I thought he just fell for some straight asshole he'd never have any chance with again - like, someone who wouldn't be good for him, anyway - so I didn't think too much about his gloominess," Jongdae babbled out, talking so fast that Baekhyun had difficulties following him.

"Hit me out of nowhere when he mentioned they were going to move as if it wasn't a big deal like one week beforehand only - especially because all three of them really loved this place. I was sure it was a joke at first.. never thought they would actually leave everything behind. It was such a sudden decision and the timing was damn strange, too," Jongdae elaborated, pursing his lips.

"Okay, maybe things didn't work out any other way but still, who the hell doesn't take advantage of summer break and rather moves a few weeks _after_ the new semester started instead? To freaking _Seoul_ , of all places?? Living there is expensive as hell and they might not be poor or anything like that but I also wouldn't call them wealthy so why bother moving to goddamn Seoul all of a sudden when they already had everything they needed right _here?_ Ugh, it just doesn't make any sense to me!!" he practically yelled, his strong emotions proving that this topic had been bothering him for so long that he couldn't hold them back any longer.

But Jongdae had a point.

The unimagined details he just told Baekhyun turned a so far completely normal part of Chanyeol's past into a weirdly shaped piece in the puzzle that didn't seem to fit anymore.

"And do you know what he said when I confronted him before they left?" Jongdae continued after leaping to his feet, agitated. " _'Welp, my mom applied at some companies cause we've been struggling a lot these days and she got a better job that pays well..? Yeah... something like that.. n' .. uh ... n' we found an apartment already so... it'd be insane to stay just cause we like it here',_ " he imitated Chanyeol's deep voice.

None of those words sounded convincing.

"Mhh, sure. So _that's_ why he started working part-time shortly after they moved even though he should be focusing on school. Makes sense. Not. It was a nice try but I call bullshit on that," he snorted. "Can you believe it, Baekhyun? More than eight years of friendship and he's still thinking he can fool me despite being such an awful liar. Tsk, fucking bastard. That stuttering just now wasn't me exaggerating, he literally did the same! Wasn't able to look me in the eye once so I could tell he lied right to my face _immediately_. I'm just too nice to call him out and let him get away instead."

_'Holy fuck,'_ Baekhyun thought, watching how Jongdae paced around with wide eyes.

Chanyeol's best friend was about as 'tall' as him but he surely had a great amount of pent-up frustrations and anger hidden inside his slim body.

"So basically, I decided to be a good friend, to play along and wait until he comes clean without me interfering but what am I supposed to do, man? You saw the look on his face when he blew out the candles as well, didn't you? Or was it just me?" Jongdae asked, not giving him any chance to answer because he continued talking right away.

It was for the best though.

Baekhyun didn't pay much attention to Chanyeol in the past few hours. In fact, he averted his gaze on purpose when the taller made his birthday wish, hoping he could prevent the jealousy from arising and ruining the party that way.

He had been fully focused on himself ever since they got here.

"Maybe I'm tripping and freaking out over nothing or so- I mean, I had a few drinks and he's been smiling the whole time and it didn't seem fake at all ... but as soon as he had the cake in front of his face .. it was only for a few seconds but I saw it. Really, I swear," Jongdae guaranteed despite his doubts.

"And I didn't get why that expression bothered me so much at first but I think I figured it out, partly at least. Their unexpected move, why he lied about it even though he knew I'd see right through it for sure, why he was behaving strangely some time before they left already ... it all makes sense now," Jongdae continued and finally stopped walking around like an animal trapped in a cage, his words creating such an uncanny atmosphere that Baekhyun tensed up.

He wanted to cut him off once more, wanted to inform him that the minute he had asked for was long over or simply stand up and leave him alone.

Baekhyun couldn't help him out, anyway.

He had no idea why Chanyeol's family decided to move to Seoul back then, couldn't tell if Jongdae was simply an overprotective best friend that worried too much for his own good or if Chanyeol was hiding a dark and mysterious secret indeed.

His pesky thirst for knowledge, however, paralysed him, made it impossible to move or to open his mouth, gave him no chance to turn his thoughts into reality.

Baekhyun was frozen.

"Chan made the exact same face on his 14th birthday," Jongdae disclosed and crossed his arms in front of his chest, his dark eyes surveying Baekhyun. "You know what that means, right?"

Slowly, the teenager nodded.

He didn't need to hear anything more to understand why Jongdae was so upset that he couldn't sit still and had insisted on talking to him despite his harsh rudeness.

Chanyeol had turned 14 a few weeks after his dad passed away.

And he might still be coming to terms with what happened around that time despite not blaming himself any longer but him having a similar expression on his face tonight, years later ...

... it was concerning.

"I have no idea what's up but I doubt he simply remembered that birthday and got sad because of it. This has to be related to something else, the facts speak for themselves," Jongdae concluded, coming back to Baekhyun after speaking those words out loud. "And I need _you_ in order to find out what's going on," he added and grabbed Baekhyun's balled fists, taking them into his surprisingly warm hands. "You're down, right?? You might suck at showing it but I'm sure you care a lot about him as well!"

"Maybe but I can't help you. Sorry," Baekhyun sighed and lowered his head, his gaze set on the wet grass. "He might have mentioned the reason on his first day... while introducing himself or after sitting down next to me or so," he mumbled, the memories too blurry to be of good use. "But I can't recall what he said ..."

_'I was too self-absorbed to be able to listen to him, didn't notice anything weird and behaved like a rude asshole the entire time. Not only back then but even tonight.'_

And he was still wondering why he had never become anybody's most important person?

"I'm sorry ..." Baekhyun repeated, unsure if he was still apologizing because the fear had taken over control back then, giving him no chance to think clearly, or if he felt the need to say it once more because he has been unnecessarily mean towards Jongdae. "I'm.. I didn't really ... sorry .."

_'I'm so fucking pathetic,'_ he thought and rested his head on the table after freeing himself from the other male's grip, shuddering. _'The worst freaking friend someone could have.'_

"Woah, what's up with you all of a sudden? You don't have to apologize, especially not that often. It's okay, really," Jongdae assured with concern in his voice and patted Baekhyun's back timidly - probably because he could see him lashing out again. "Honestly, he most likely didn't say anything important or made up a terrible lie again or so. I just thought asking wouldn't hurt but I didn't expect to hear any groundbreaking news so there's no point in getting worked up about this! You can still help, you know? More than most of us even!!"

Baekhyun shifted, giving Jongdae a sceptical look.

The teenager wouldn't be surprised if this was a cheap attempt to cheer him up only, nothing more.

"How..?"

 

 

 

 

_'He'll get tired of me in no time if I keep this shit up,'_ Baekhyun thought while drawing invisible circles on the table, his nose runny thanks to the displeasing cold. _'Heck, even **I'm** sick of me at this point so why should it be any different for him?'_ he asked himself and snuggled into his jacket, too stubborn to get back inside despite freezing his butt off.

As promised, Jongdae left him alone after the unsettling conversation had come to an end, his absence creating a lonely kind of silence that would have been unbearable if it wasn't for the upbeat songs he could hear even from outside.

Actually, Baekhyun should be satisfied now that he was finally all by himself again but pessimistic thoughts darkened his mood more with each minute that passed instead.

The existence of this bothersome trait of his was one of the main reasons why he had declined Chanyeol's offer in the beginning.

_'I'm such a selfish bastard.. always putting myself first ... someone like me will never be on the same level as his closest friends. Never .. never.'_

Baekhyun blew out his cheeks in frustration and pressed his forehead against the cool table, holding his breath when he heard footsteps coming closer.

Chanyeol's footsteps.

_'Fucking finally. Took him long enough.'_

He might have had some enjoyable conversations with a few guests earlier but no one here genuinely cared about him so he didn't have to check to know his seatmate was the one approaching him.

This obvious lack of concern was his own fault for distancing himself from everyone before giving them a real chance though, Baekhyun wasn't going to deny that.

"You look like ya need your personal hero. Desperately," Chanyeol commented on his miserable state after plopping himself down on the chair next to him, giving Baekhyun a wide smile when he lifted his head only to roll his eyes for the nth time that day.

The only things he currently needed were dozens of tissues and a fluffy blanket.

"Ew. Do me a favor and be cheesy somewhere else please," Baekhyun grumbled and wiped his nose with the back of his hand, not mentioning that he had been hoping for something like this to happen ever since he stepped outside.

Only Chanyeol and him, no one else. Just like in school.

Now that he got what he had secretly wished for, he could barely stop a smile from finding its way to his lips, too.

"Who are ya trying to fool, hah? We both know you like it. Dun act all thug n' cold-hearted when you're actually sweet and soft on the inside. Like those yummy rainbow marshmallows," his seatmate chirped, words that had Baekhyun cringing.

He would compare himself to a cup of bitter black coffee or to black licorice, not to the sugary candy that made him nauseous whenever he ate too much of it.

If anything, _Chanyeol_ was the marshmallow here.

"F'real though. I have something damn neat for ya to make up for being late so you better stop that crap and react properly instead! You can do that with ease, right?" his seatmate added with excitement in his voice, holding said something right in front of Baekhyun's puzzled face.

A star-shaped sparkler.

Surely nothing to freak out about but the teenager wasn't going to turn down this 'challenge'.

"Holy moly!" Baekhyun gasped and pried the plain object out of Chanyeol's hands, inspecting it as if it was a shimmering and extremely valuable diamond. "Oh my gosh Yeol, where in the world did you get that?! I'm- shit, I can't control my _feels_! Never ever in my life have I seen something _this_ magnificent! That's so fucking **COOL**!!" he exclaimed with faked keenness, snickering because Chanyeol nudged him in the ribs as a response to the exaggerated reaction.

"'Kay, I kinda expected something like this but still, fuck you," his classmate laughed and pulled out a disposable butane lighter, bringing some distance in between the two of them to make sure they were safe before setting off the sparkler Baekhyun was still holding.

"I know it's nothing big but you gotta appreciate the little things sometimes!"

_'True that,'_ Baekhyun agreed quietly, unable to suppress the smile any longer when the hand-held firework finally ignited and started to burn down both sides.

He would have loved to take a picture of the bright golden sparks but it wouldn't be worth it. Not even the best camera out there would be good enough to be able to fully captivate the sheer beauty of this moment.

However, this delightful scene might turn into a special memory he could keep secure in his heart instead.

"Kinda like us, don't cha think?"

"As in?" Baekhyun asked, almost getting lost in Chanyeol's eyes a second time on the same day when he realized how much prettier the shiny twinkle gleaming inside them was.

"Welp, we didn't get along at first but still became close to each other, just like those lil' glimmers!" Chanyeol made clear, grinning like an idiot when the two lights that went separate ways in the beginning met each other again and the enchanting magic stopped. "Can't wait to make tons of great memories together with you now that all that crap is over for good!"

_'...cute,'_ Baekhyun thought and turned away before Chanyeol could see the silly smile on his lips, unsure if those words were responsible for the soothing warmth in his chest or if the small fireworks were to blame.

"I'm going to puke if you say adorable stuff like that too often so be warned," he joked as he put the burnt sparkler into his empty glass, finally realizing that he simply had to give the two of them more time instead of comparing himself to people Chanyeol had known for ages.

There was no need to worry about their friendship, not at the moment at least.

They were still only at the beginning of their story.

How could he doubt Chanyeol, anyway?

This guy didn't seem to be capable of pretending to genuinely like someone.

Chanyeol truly cared about him.

Jongdae might own a big spot in his seatmate's heart and Chanyeol had tons of other good friends, yes, but that didn't mean Baekhyun couldn't be important to him, too.

This surely couldn't be as nice as being someone's  _favorite_ person but it was still much better than absolutely nothing.

"I guess you could say I feel the same though. I'm also looking forward to that," Baekhyun admitted, a little addition that made his friend beam.

To think he would still live in constant fear if Chanyeol didn't step in a few weeks ago ...

Baekhyun rested his chin on his hand and stared at his friend, continuing to gaze at him even after Chanyeol bowed his head shyly and fixed the glittery crown that adorned his blue hair.

_'Weird.. I said 'thank you' plenty of times already. Why do I feel like telling him again now?'_

And why did it seem like those two little words would _never_ be strong enough to express his gratitude? As if he needed something greater, something that was so mighty that it could easily show-

' _Hold up.'_

Baekhyun blinked when something Chanyeol did earlier crossed his mind, the idea to follow his example surprisingly tempting even though it didn't fit him in any way.

But if Chanyeol could.. why couldn't he, too?

"Y'know, I.. uhm, we- we'll probably get sick if we stay out here any longer ... so let's go back inside, 'kay?" Chanyeol suggested and stood up the very moment Baekhyun nodded absentmindedly, walking towards the door with quick steps.

Baekhyun was going to miss out on this chance if he didn't react soon.

_'Ugh, whatever. Fuck it,'_ he made up his mind and started to run in order to catch up to Chanyeol before it was too late, holding the birthday boy back by wrapping his arms tightly around his belly.

He chuckled when he felt Chanyeol's entire body tensing up due to the unexpected hug and buried his face in his back, astounded because he was enjoying this kind of closeness much more than thought.

The embrace in the evening didn't last long enough for him to notice.

"I- eh, you .. are ... are ya.. like, are you really huggin' me right now or did my alcohol tolerance drop so much that my mind's messing with me even though I had like two shots only ..?" Chanyeol questioned, getting his answer when Baekhyun hugged him even tighter to prove that this was happening indeed. "Okay okay, I get it now ... payback for earlier, huh?"

"Nope! Wrong," Baekhyun snickered. "You saved my night - and kinda made everything better in general but you know _that_ \- so I'm expressing my gratefulness the 'Yeol way' now! You don't mind that, do you?"

"Not ... not really.."

"Good," Baekhyun mumbled into Chanyeol's jacket, closing his eyes happily.

_'I have no idea why you moved and I doubt you're going to tell me the truth if I ask but from the bottom of my heart.. thank you.'_

_'Thank you so much for coming into my life.'_

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Two hugs in just one evening? These precious idiots are making progress~  
> It'd be a shame if something bad happened to them.  
> uwu ♡
> 
> HAPPY CHANYEOL DAY WOOHOOOOO~ Posting a chapter related to Chanyeol's birthday on his actual birthday (well, at least it's the 27th for him and even for me by now lol) was an opportunity I just couldn't miss hehe. Sadly, I won't be able to give you the christmas chapters next month already though T^T
> 
> Also, I'm HELLA excited for Obsession. We're almost there aHHHHHHhhhh (don't mind me pls.)
> 
> *cough* I hope this chapter was fluffy and sweet enough to make up for the pain last time~


	8. Sleepless nights

* * *

「 _Tuesday, 15 December 2018_ 」

* * *

 

_'And the May_ _16_ _coup took place in 19 ... 19.. uhh.'_ Baekhyun narrowed his eyes, chewing on his pen. _'Shit. Not again,'_ he cursed in his thoughts, failing to remember the date despite studying hard for the stupid test that was just around the corner.

In fact, he didn't seem to be able to recall _any_ important facts anymore.

At this rate, he was going to get another B or even a _C._

His parents would murder him if that happened.

Immediately, Baekhyun straightened up and searched for the particular topic in his history book, about to yell at Chanyeol when he disrupted him by dropping something on the page he was skimming through.

He shut his mouth once he realized that the distracting object was an innocent little flower made out of pink gum wrapping paper.

_'Okay, that's pretty damn sweet.'_

Could this guy be any cuter?

"Errm, sorry for interrupting ya!! It's just- you're having such a huge frown on your face .. thought something like this might make ya smile or so," Chanyeol explained the reason behind the small gesture and pointed towards the many misshapen gum wrapper flowers that were all over his place.

"Took me a while to make a decent one though n' it's kinda silly now that I'm thinking more bout it n' I guess I messed up so ignore that and keep reading," he sighed and squashed a blue flower with the palm of his hand, calmly reaching for the Monster Energy drink on his desk afterwards.

As if he didn't destroy his hard work without batting an eyelid.

"No, you didn't fuck up. I like it," Baekhyun made clear as he inspected the tiny flower, holding it securely in order to save it from an equally cruel fate. "But the test starts in approximately ten minutes and I don't even know when the fucking May 16 military coup was so I'm kinda screwed and therefore anything but happy," he admitted with a snort and hid the handmade gift inside his pencil case when Chanyeol scrunched up an orange flower, too - just to make sure the special gift stayed unharmed.

Actually, he couldn't care less about the test result but his parents ...

"Ah, that one's easy!!!" his classmate exclaimed and wiped his mouth with his grey sweater paw. He spinned the can with a light smile on his face, apparently not bothered by the disturbing fact that he had emptied it even though he opened it a few minutes ago and they were only in the middle of the first break.

"You just gotta switch the one and the six from the 16 and you'll get the year! I mean, that's how I always remember it at least!!"

_'... May 16th, 1961. Of fucking course.'_

How the hell could he forget such a simple date?

"Damn. Never thought I would say something like this but you're actually.. right ..." Baekhyun muttered, shaking his head in disbelief. "That can't be it though. You googled it while I wasn't looking, didn't you?"

"Excuse me?!" Chanyeol gasped and clutched his chest as if Baekhyun had crushed his heart with those words. "I happen to be good at history, you should know that by now!"

"Well, I'm _not_ so shut the fuck up and let me study in peace while I still can!" Baekhyun fired back, grabbed the book, and turned away from Chanyeol, unable to concentrate on the text because his seatmate didn't let him.

"Bruh, no need to make such a big deal outta this! I doubt it'll happen but how about you just copy from me if there's gonna be a question you can't answer on your own?" Chanyeol suggested, his casual tone proving that he didn't see any problem with advising someone to _cheat_. "I mean, the only reason why I didn't fail math was cause ya allowed me to see your s-"

Alarmed, Baekhyun swung around and squished Chanyeol's cheeks together, the quick reaction successfully shutting his chatty friend up before he could finish the dangerous sentence.

"Are you _crazy?!_ That's supposed to stay in between you and me, for fuck's sake! I'm dead meat if anyone hears that!" Baekhyun hissed and glanced around the room, only letting go once he assured himself that none of their classmates was about to knock the living daylights out of him.

Total chaos would break out if someone got to know that he had made such a big fuss when Rebecca tried to copy his answers but had the audacity to help Chanyeol without thinking about it twice.

In Baekhyun's defense, the original plan had looked different.

Meeting up several times a week in order to study math together had sounded like the perfect idea to prepare for the upcoming exam - until Baekhyun realized that Chanyeol was currently so sleep-deprived that it would probably make more sense to study with the stray cat that begged him for food whenever their ways crossed instead.

It's not like his seatmate didn't try to follow his endless explanations and tips but Chanyeol's part-time job and the lack of sleep were draining him so much that he couldn't possibly solve any math related questions the right way. Not at the moment.

Therefore, helping him cheat was the only _somewhat_ acceptable solution Baekhyun had been able to come up with.

That didn't mean he would lower himself to cheat as well just because history was making him insane though.

...Okay, Baekhyun might have gotten a '+' behind his well deserved A in the end because he _'accidentally'_ dropped his pen and caught a glimpse of Chanyeol's sheet when he leaned down to pick it up - totally not on purpose of course.

But he wasn't going to tell anyone about the little misdeed.

Ever.

 

 

 

 

* * *

「 _Thursday, 17 December 2018_ 」

* * *

 

Baekhyun answered the last question on the worksheet Mr Myung had handed out at the beginning of the lesson with ease and checked every single solution to make sure all of them were correct, wondering how to kill time once he finished the given task for good.

The topic was way too simple, just like all the previous ones.

Why couldn't they talk about things that were actually challenging for a change?

The bored teenager yawned, stretched, and looked out of the window even though he didn't expect to see anything interesting outside, raising a brow when he spotted his drenched seatmate running across the deserted schoolyard - and that at 08:20 in the morning as one quick glance at the clock above the blackboard told him.

His friend was arriving late at school most of the time so naturally, Baekhyun got used to it at some point, but Chanyeol had missed almost the entire first period today.

That was a new record.

_'Why is he running?'_ he thought as he watched how Chanyeol threw open the door with so much force that his bag that was decorated with tons of colorful button pins slipped off his shoulder.

The sight of his struggling classmate made Baekhyun snort.

_'A few minutes less won't make a change anymore. You're doomed no matter what you do dude,'_ he predicted, still hoping for the best while waiting for Chanyeol to show up.

The poor guy had enough stress without school adding up to it. Baekhyun could tell even though Chanyeol was never complaining or talking about it.

Unsurprisingly, his seatmate entered the classroom a few moments later, trying his best to apologize properly for being late again despite his rapid breathing.

"So..rry ... did .. didn't.. hear ... ala-"

"Quiet. I don't care about the reason," Mr Myung cut the exhausted student off without looking up from his book. "I let it slide in the beginning because it's normal for new students to get lost trying to find their way to the right classrooms but you've been with us for a while now. The lesson is basically over, too. This is getting out of hand, Chanyeol. I'll assign you detention for tomorrow," the teacher continued and handed the protesting teenager a piece of chalk alongside with a copy of the sheet the rest of the class was working on instead of listening to him.

"Oh, and since you're already standing here, please go ahead and solve the first four questions for all of us - and don't forget to explain each step of course," the teacher ordered with an evil smirk on his face, not bothering to hide how much he was enjoying showing Chanyeol up.

"It shouldn't be a problem for you, right? Or are you actually skipping most of my lessons without understanding what we're talking about in class? Maybe I should grade your performance today to make you realize that I don't tolerate such behaviour if that's actually what's going on here ... would you like that, Chanyeol? Hm?"

_'Holy fuck. You better keep your fucking mouth shut and leave him the fuck alone you fucking sadist,'_ Baekhyun thought when Mr Myung finally stopped talking, his grip on his pencil so strong that he was about to break the cheap object in two.

Chanyeol wasn't short by any means but all Baekhyun saw now that his seatmate was hanging his head low and pressing his lips together tightly as he read the questions written on the worksheet in his trembling hand was a small, vulnerable, and wet puppy that needed lots of cuddles and warmth.

Not any of this bullshit.

He most likely didn't wake up in time because he hadn't been able to sleep peacefully again.

Baekhyun had no idea why this was happening so often at the moment, wasn't sure if Chanyeol's nightowl side was trying to take over completely or if he should believe Jongdae that something was wrong - something that was bothering Chanyeol so much that he couldn't rest properly anymore.

He knew that he had to get his friend out of the humiliating situation as quickly as possible though.

But Chanyeol reacted faster, muttering so quietly that Mr Myung and the students in the front row were probably the only ones who could understand each word.

"The talk we had before I changed schools ... did you forget?"

' _Damn. That says it all.'_

Baekhyun leaned forward and started tapping his pencil on the wooden desk, observing how Chanyeol balled his fists and gave their teacher a reproachful look.

_'The jerk had been right all along. It was really more than a simple move.'_

To his surprise, Mr Myung pointed towards the empty chair next to him after scanning Chanyeol's unusual serious face for a couple of moments, letting his classmate go.

"Sit down," he instructed and took the chalk away from the shivering student, continuing the lesson as if the conversation had never happened once Chanyeol was by Baekhyun's side.

... Something was extremely fishy.

Baekhyun stared at his seatmate with furrowed brows instead of paying attention, the dark circles under Chanyeol's swollen eyes prominent.

"Hey, what was that supposed to mean? What talk?" he whispered, his patience wearing thin because his friend ruffled his wet blue hair, rubbed his temples, and took his sweet time with pulling out his school supplies - obviously avoiding the question.

"Not important," Chanyeol finally mumbled before Baekhyun could lash out on him, playing around with his fingers. "Just erase that outta your mind please," he added and gave Baekhyun a forced smile that was probably supposed to destroy the light tension but couldn't look less sincere.

_'So ... he told a freaking teacher he barely knows what's going on but he didn't bother to inform his best fucking friend..?'_ Baekhyun speculated, asking himself if his seatmate would ever let him know, too.

He wanted to dig deeper but let it be when Mr Myung glared at the two of them  to hush them, realizing that this was neither the right time nor the right place for trying to find out the truth.

For now, he had to accept Chanyeol's silence.

"By the way, what 'bout the day before Christmas? Are ya free?" his seatmate changed the topic right after the bell rang, his face dropping when Mr Myung started writing down the homework for tomorrow.

" _Yuck._ That's too effin' much. Not gonna do that," he declared with a little pout on his lips. "Anyway!! I'm asking cause my present for ya is finally ready! N' I'm mad curious 'bout your reaction," Chanyeol gushed, the smile on his face no longer fake now that he was talking about something that excited him.

Baekhyun had been wondering what the mysterious present could be ever since Chanyeol told him he might not make it in time. He kept thinking about what his creative mind had come up with.

Something told him that the lame idea to make cupcakes for Chanyeol even though he had never tried out baking such complicated things that could easily be messed up couldn't compete with whatever his friend had prepared for him.

Maybe it was actually good that they might not be able to exchange presents anytime soon.

"Uhm, well. I asked my parents if it would be okay for us to meet up that day and was hoping for a simple yes because I'll be with them 24/7 for more than a fucking week after that. Therefore, they really shouldn't complain about one freaking evening," Baekhyun grumbled, the fact that he had to spend the first part of winter break together with them at his grandparents' place only to waste the remaining time with studying for exams ruining the upcoming holidays completely.

'Break'.

Yeah, right.

"They're thinking we're hanging out way too often these days though. They also said I'm not concentrating enough on school at the moment," Baekhyun continued, amused because Chanyeol was already grimacing even though he hadn't told him the greatest news yet.

"And they want to get to know you."

" **What?!?** " Chanyeol gasped and stared at him with wide eyes, fidgeting in his chair whereas Baekhyun couldn't help but laugh because of the predicted strong reaction.

"But- I! The.. they won't like- I'm ... I.. oh my fucking God, I'm gonna _die!!_ "

"Pff, not on my watch. You better get ready and put good use to those charms of yours, bitch. I don't want to miss out on you just because my parents are too scared for my grades and can't accept you the way you are," Baekhyun made clear and heaved a sigh. "Seriously, we can't let them get in between us. You got that?"

Slowly, Chanyeol nodded.

Both, fear and uncertainty, were clearly visible in his eyes.

"A..aye Sir."

 

 

 

 

* * *

「 _Sunday, 20 December 2018_ 」

* * *

 

 

 

 

_⌜ ~Yeollie (≧▽≦) ⌝ ⁰⁰ ¹⁸_

_Heop mr ai' too fucktin nervks.._

_csn'r sleep (◞‸◟)_

 

_⌜ ~Yeollie (≧▽≦) ⌝ ⁰⁰ ¹⁸_

_*Fucjkinh nercuts_

 

_⌜ ~Yeollie (≧▽≦) ⌝ ⁰⁰ ¹⁸_

_**fucjing nbecois_

 

_⌜ ~Yeollie (≧▽≦) ⌝ ⁰⁰ ¹⁸_

_***fivkknf nrycous_

 

_⌜ ~Yeollie (≧▽≦) ⌝ ⁰⁰ ¹⁸_

_****ducking nervous_

 

_⌜ ~Yeollie (≧▽≦) ⌝ ⁰⁰ ¹⁸_

_...k, I gibe up._

 

_⌜ ~Yeollie (≧▽≦) ⌝ ⁰⁰ ¹⁹_

_( ￣＾￣)_

 

 

Chanyeol glared at his phone keyboard as if it was to blame for the countless typing errors and snuggled into his blanket, yawning twice as he waited for Jongdae's reply.

He wasn't ready to meet Baekhyun's mom and dad.

He had heard enough of them to know they wouldn't be able to stand him and could even see them forbidding their son from spending time with him in the future the very moment the terrifying meetup came to an end.

After all, Chanyeol could easily be described as a living nightmare - at least for every strict parent out there.

He had dyed hair, was madly in love with makeup and nail polish despite being a guy, was always wearing ripped and flashy clothes that had the tendency to provoke certain people, was late for school basically every single day and he was bringing home terrible grades way too often.

Most of the time, he was going to bed past 2 am, his room usually looked as if all his plushies were coming to life to throw a party there whenever he wasn't home, he had a few experiences with alcohol and cigarettes even though he was still underage, stole a small package of gum a couple of years ago and he was about as straight as overcooked spaghetti.

The upcoming appointment was going to lead to a disaster for sure.

Chanyeol didn't meet their standards.

He would _never._

 

 

_⌜ Dae o(^▽^)o ⌝ ⁰⁰ ²⁰_

_Calm down. Just listen to your fav songs,_

_go to sleep soon and enjoy your time with_

_your future parents in law later ;) There's_

_absolutely no need to freak out Chan!_

_They're going to love you, I'm suuure. I_

_mean, you can_ _be dAmN annoying but_

_it's impossible not to love you so chill_

_and let_ _things happen~_

 

 

_'Did- p..parents in .. in law?!'_

Chanyeol stared at the three words that have caught his attention right away and made it absolutely impossible to concentrate on the rest of the text, his cheeks heating up as he typed so quickly that the result was barely understandable.

 

 

_⌜ ~Yeollie (≧▽≦) ⌝ ⁰⁰ ²⁰_

_SA3!! IG'#, &KUSY ALIL CRUSH!!!!!_

 

_⌜ ~Yeollie (≧▽≦) ⌝ ⁰⁰ ²⁰_

_BITJCNG.MORE!_

 

_⌜ ~Yeollie (≧▽≦) ⌝ ⁰⁰ ²⁰_

_O UDN WANMA MARRH JON!!_

 

 

Chanyeol scrunched up his nose and pulled his old Rilakkuma plushie into his arms, his eyes not leaving the screen even though his friend's next reply seemed to take ages.

What kind of essay was Jongdae typing again? Why couldn't he send several messages instead of always putting everything he had to say into one long text?

 

 

_⌜ Dae o(^▽^)o ⌝ ⁰⁰ ²_ ⁴

_Do I need to remind you that this 'alil_

_crush' of yours has_ _been going on for_

_months_ _already? Not saying that it's_

_bothering me though. I really_ _didn't_

_think so at first but_ _he's not a bad guy_

_by_ _any_ _means so I wouldn't_ _even mind_

_if you two_ _become a_ _thing one day - as_

_long as_ _I'm your best man ofc huehehe_

_but could you_ _please stop falling for_

_assholes if he's_ _not the_ _one? Because_

_this._ _crap. keeps. happening. -.- Istg,_

_you're freaking maso._ _I'm kink-shaming_

_you._

 

 

Chanyeol narrowed his tired eyes, ready to fight after reading the last two sentences of Jongdae's message.

How dare he?

 

 

_⌜ ~Yeollie (≧▽≦) ⌝ ⁰⁰ ²_ ⁴

_Woah wtf_

 

_⌜ ~Yeollie (≧▽≦) ⌝ ⁰⁰ ²_ ⁴

_First of all, I'm not!! (╯‵□′)╯_

 

_⌜ ~Yeollie (≧▽≦) ⌝ ⁰⁰ ²_ ⁵

_N even IF I'd be ... like ur one to_

_talk (¬_¬) U told me u wanna try_

_tyin someone up n all that lewd_

_stuff.. that's way worse（￣□||||)_

_⌜ ~Yeollie (≧▽≦) ⌝ ⁰⁰ ²_ ⁵

_Dun @ me（￣ε￣）_

 

_⌜ ~Yeollie (≧▽≦) ⌝ ⁰⁰ ²_ ⁵

_N I'm not responsible for the_

_crap my heart does (இ﹏இ`｡)_

 

_⌜ ~Yeollie (≧▽≦) ⌝ ⁰⁰ ²_ ⁵

_Didn't tell it to go all doki doki_

_whenever he's too damn close_

_to me (つ_ < )_

   

    

Chanyeol would never understand how one quick glance alone could shoot right through his heart already.

He was always getting the hots for huge jerks that turned out to be truly problematic in some kind of way sooner or later - as if he was a magnet that attracted those types of guys only.

It had been slightly different in this case though.

Looks-wise, Baekhyun matched his ideal type perfectly so he had seen the entire mess coming the moment his gaze fell on the lonely teenager that avoided looking at him for some reason.

But for the first time ever, a potential love interest of his hit him with such hurtful words that even his foolish heart realized it would be better to stay away from the cute guy with beautiful slim hands and eyes so dark someone could get lost in them.

After all, Baekhyun happened to have an extremely sharp tongue that didn't hesitate to cut as deep as a knife would, too.

Even so, Chanyeol kept working on improving their relationship since he couldn't ignore the strong feeling that kept telling him there had to be more hidden somewhere underneath the coldhearted side Baekhyun used to show him back then.

He thought they could still become friends, wanted to help him out of the black hole the constant bullying had pushed him into once he got to know of the unbearable amount of pain his classmate was trying to withstand all on his own.

At some point, he almost gave up.

How ironic that math, of all things, changed the entire situation drastically.

He certainly didn't expect Baekhyun to explain that one uttermost confusing topic so calmly - in a _friendly way_ even - after he gathered up all his courage and asked the top student for help despite being terrified of the reaction.

At first, that lesson in the afternoon hadn't felt real. It was as if a dream he had lost hope in came true at long last.

It made Chanyeol wonder if he finally found the side of his seatmate he had been looking for the entire time - the _real_ Baekhyun. The part of him he was covering up desperately, probably to save himself from even more pain.

That day, his seatmate had managed to do two things:

Somehow, he helped a hopeless case like him to understand a topic in math.

And somehow, he made him forget everything that happened in between the two of them before and also stole Chanyeol's heart at the same time.

Just like that.

Without any effort - without even _trying._

Chanyeol hadn't been able to do anything against it.

It might have taken him longer than usual to develop a crush thanks to Baekhyun's constant coldness and the many harmful words he always had to swallow but in the end, he fell _hard._

 

 

_⌜ Dae o(^▽^)o ⌝ ⁰⁰ ²_ ⁷

_Yeah yeah, don't act as if you wouldn't_

_enjoy being_ _tied up by Baekhyun ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)_

_Poor you though but stop worrying, okay?_

_Everything will_ _go well, I'm telling you. As_

_long as you get enough rest at least so_

_hands off your_ _phone now! Goodnight ~_

_Sleep tight and good luck Channie ♡_

 

 

"Ugh, dun make me imagine that," Chanyeol murmured, typing one bitter sentence only to delete it before he could actually send the text that would disturb Jongdae for sure.

What was he doing?

He shouldn't tell him.

He had sworn to himself to stop bothering him with his annoying problems a couple of years ago.

The troublesome worries that kept messing with him ever since this summer shouldn't make him change his mind just because things were getting worse and worse.

 

 

_⌜ ~Yeollie (≧▽≦) ⌝ ⁰⁰ ²_ ⁹

_... no comment (^▽^;)_

 

_⌜ ~Yeollie (≧▽≦) ⌝ ⁰⁰ ²_ ⁹

_But thanks for listening, really!_

_Ur the best ♡♡_ _♡ Love ya~_

 

_⌜ ~Yeollie (≧▽≦) ⌝ ⁰⁰ ²_ ⁹

_G'night (๑ᵕ⌓ᵕ̤)_

 

 

Putting away his phone, closing his eyes, falling asleep in no time and getting the amount of rest he desperately needed?

He wished it could be that simple.

 

 

 

 

_"Take ... me away ... please .... .. please .."_

_Chanyeol squeezed the little girl that was sobbing in his arms and blinked_ _away his own tears, holding her as tightly as possible._

_He gulped down the irritating lump that was stuck somewhere in his throat and took a few deep breaths, hoping this would help him to talk normally._

_That she wouldn't notice how much the entire situation was messing him up, too._

_She didn't need to know._

_No one should._

_"Make it ... stop .. hurts.. don't.. don't want to be here... anymore ..." she mumbled into Chanyeol's chest before he could say anything, her hands tugging desperately on his black hoodie._

_'I want to .. trust me, I do. Really, really do. I wanna help you so fucking badly but I have no idea what to do to make it easier for you,' the teenager admitted to himself and pressed his quivering lips together, glad that she couldn't see how close he was to breaking down as well._

_'I'd change places with you n' take all the pain away right fucking now if I could,' Chanyeol thought, the questions that kept bugging him ever since they got the news running through his head again - making him insane because they were demanding answers he would never get._

_They didn't let him be, were either somewhere in a corner of his mind or so noisy that they were easily overpowering everything else._

_'Why her? She's still so young.. frail ... she doesn't .. shouldn't ... why couldn't it be me instead? N' what the hell's next? You gonna take freakin' everything away I have?? Until I'm all alone n' can't deal with it any longer..? Is that what you want? But why?! Didn't you destroy enough already?'_

_Too loud._

_Too much._

_Too painful._

_The voice inside his head didn't seem to remember how to shut up anymore._

_"Shh.. don't cry, okay? Please," he whispered into her hair despite his thoughts that were screaming so loudly he could barely resist the urge to yell back, his stomach turning because the scent he despised with every fibre of his being was sticking to her like glue._

_But he had to ignore it._

_He didn't have the right to show any weakness, not in such moments._

_"You.. you'll be outta here in no time... n' it.. things... i-it will be just like.. like it used to be. Pinky promise," he assured with his shaky voice and reached out for her right hand that was still clutching his sweatshirt, one repressed teardrop escaping and staining his cheek when she slapped his wrist instead of intertwining their fingers eagerly._

_That reaction of hers was unusually harsh and cold but Chanyeol knew why she rejected him._

_He shouldn't make promises he couldn't keep. He shouldn't console her with such empty phrases._

_She wasn't stupid._

_"Liar," she mumbled into his hoodie that was wet with her tears, the accusing word piercing through Chanyeol's heart._

_"Liar."_

_"Liar.."_

_"Liar ... .."_

 

 

Chanyeol opened his eyes only to close them again once he realized how dark everything around him still was, letting out a deep sigh.

Yet another bad dream that felt too real to not affect him, leaving a bitter taste in his mouth and a hurtful sting in his heart.

It's not like he expected this night to look any different but being used to the typical crap didn't make things easier.

At this point, he didn't even want to sleep any longer.

Why should he?

He was always more exhausted afterwards.

Slowly, the drained teenager sat up and grabbed his phone from the desk, rubbing his throbbing forehead.

_'Nothing before 4 am. Please,'_ he begged silently even though he could already tell there was no way he got that much rest, holding his breath when he unlocked the device with his trembling thumb.

_⌜ SUN, 20 December, 01:38 ⌝_

_'... wow,'_ was all Chanyeol could think as he stared at the ridiculous numbers displayed on his phone screen, still sitting there in the same position long after it had turned black again. _'That's.. it.. it's ...'_

One hour.

Even less than one hour since he hadn't been able to fall asleep right away, too scared that something like this could happen again.

His shoulders sagged as if the awareness of the harsh reality had taken all his remaining energy away, frustrated tears filling his dry eyes and making them burn until he couldn't take it any longer and had to wipe them away with the back of his hand.

Annoyed, Chanyeol tossed his phone on the bed, grabbed his pillow, and pressed it on his tear-stained face, screaming into the soft fabric to vent his restrained emotions.

The muffled cry of despair, however, couldn't have been more useless so he let go and stood up after wrapping the blanket protectively around his drained body, his legs so wobbly he would have lost his balance if he didn't hold onto the edge of his desk with all his might.

He left his room with slow, careful steps and headed straight towards the kitchen, squinting the moment he turned on the lights.

"Ugh ... regret," Chanyeol mumbled as he pulled the blanket over his head to cover his eyes, only daring to peek out from behind his 'shield' a good minute later.

The teenager made a face upon seeing the dirty dishes piled up on the kitchen counter and shook his head.

_'Nope. Not gonna take care of that now,'_ he decided, turned on the water boiler, and looked for a clean cup, eventually grabbing his old Digimon mug alongside with the cheap instant coffee his mom was always buying.

Unenthusiastically, he added two teaspoons of the dark powder to his mug, the typical smell making him sigh.

He should have bought more energy drinks the day before.

Now, he was forced to make himself  _coffee_ just because he didn't want to waste too much money and rather forced himself to stay awake than risk dreaming about things that were trying to smash his heart to pieces.

Maybe they already achieved their goal though.

Chanyeol poured the hot water and lots of milk into the mug, praying that the huge amount of sugar he added afterwards would do its magic and overpower the bitterness his mom was actually enjoying.

Unbelievable.

The way back to his room turned out to be more difficult than expected but somehow, Chanyeol made it without spilling his coffee and placed the steaming mug on the window sill.

_'Real talk now ... that's bonkers. It's effin' 2 am,'_ he reminded himself while staring at the liquid no sane person would drink this goddamn late but the reasonable thought couldn't stop him from making the obvious mistake.

Chanyeol put on his red headphones that were lying on top of a pile of dirty clothes, plopped down on the mattress, and opened the window right above the head of his bed widely even though it was a cold December night.

He searched for his playlist packed with nostalgic and happy songs coming from a time when the world was still alright.

When money didn't matter.

When all his favorite people were right around him.

When he didn't have to be terrified of something as normal and crucial as _sleeping._

When his future... no.

When _her_ future didn't look pitch-black.

Chanyeol pulled the blanket over his shoulders and took a sip of his bittersweet coffee, gazing into the sky.

Who knew, maybe he would spot a shooting star before sunrise.

And maybe it would be powerful enough to grant his biggest wish - unlike those useless candles on his birthday cake.

 

 

 

 

Chanyeol didn't mind being stared at.

It took him a good while to get used to the insanely huge amount of attention some people were giving him because of his uncommon hair colors and eye-catching style but nowadays, he barely noticed those looks full of admiration any longer and couldn't care less about the judgemental glances that would have brought him down years ago.

Today ... today was different though.

The man and the woman in front of him weren't any random people he simply happened to walk past. They were no strangers he would only see once or twice in his life.

No, those two adults were Baekhyun's freaking _parents_ \- and somehow, Chanyeol had to leave a positive impression on them despite representing the popular but extremely troublesome and dangerous guy old-fashioned people like them wanted their dutiful children to stay away from.

After all, someone like him might 'contaminate' Baekhyun sooner or later, could turn their ambitious and diligent son into a disobedient little brat.

This ridiculous thinking was most likely why they were currently looking Chanyeol up and down even though he gifted them a chocolate box recommended by none other than Baekhyun after introducing himself.

"The pleasure is all ours," Mrs Byun stated as she accepted the thoughtful present, the sceptical tone in her voice telling Chanyeol she didn't mean it.

As expected, he wasn't going to win their hearts with pricey chocolate.

"Your sense of fashion is pretty ... interesting, I must say," she added, her eyes set on the white letters printed on his oversized yellow shirt.

Brainwashed generation.

Chanyeol fell in love with the extremely bright piece of clothing the moment he saw it so he couldn't stop himself from buying it.

"Thanks! I get that a lot," he replied to her 'compliment', making sure the fake smile on his lips didn't vanish.

Originally, he had planned to put on something decent so that they couldn't make any petty comments about his choice of clothing but Baekhyun told him to dress like he usually would, not wanting him to act like a different person just to impress his family.

"Did your parents give you permission to dye your hair like that?"

Mr Byun's curiosity didn't surprise Chanyeol by any means.

The teenager averted his gaze the second he noticed the man's furrowed brows and took a tiny step closer to his silent but obviously annoyed friend, rubbing his nape.

Okay, people who were staring at him for a little bit _too_ long might still make him nervous - especially if they asked such distressing questions while doing so.

"Uh, I.. I'm ... not.. really ...?" he stuttered, the day when Jongdae fulfilled one of his biggest dreams by helping him to bleach his hair still clearly on his mind.

Back then, Chanyeol saved pictures of male idols with colorful hair until his phone didn't have any storage left, always wondering if such crazy colors would look that fascinating on him as well.

Naturally, he hadn't been able to think about his parents' opinions when his best friend showed up with hair bleach in his hands and a wide grin on his face.

"I mean, I basically only started dying it cause I felt like it? And errm.. at first.. they... they didn't really.. well.. they didn't... like it .. to be completely honest," Chanyeol elaborated, realizing how headstrong the reply made him appear right after those words have left his lips. "But, uhm, my mom's more than fine with it now! She even helps me sometimes!!"

"What about your dad?"

Chanyeol's face went blank, his muscles tensing up.

He shoved his sweaty hands in his pockets and pressed his lips together, the urge to hide under a warm blanket or to simply run away so that he could escape the vexing conversation that had similarities to an interrogation immensely huge.

He knew he shouldn't react this strongly years after the accident though so he cleared his throat instead, preparing himself for telling them the sad truth.

It would be rude not to reply anyway.

Chanyeol didn't have any other choice.

"He ... uhm, my da-"

"Isn't this a little bit too much?" Baekhyun interrupted, leaning against the wall behind him. "He won't come here ever again if you treat him like a criminal even though he didn't do anything wrong. We talked about this," he reminded his parents and folded his arms while inspecting them with a frown on his face.

"Yes, but we didn't come to an end, Baekhyun," Mrs Byun remarked sharply. "And there's more I have to say about your new _friend._ Much more."

_'Why does that sound like they're gonna fight because of me ...'_

Chanyeol gulped upon hearing the strict tone in the woman's voice and ran his fingers through his blue hair, giving Baekhyun a helpless look.

He might have expected this conversation to go wrong thanks to the many stories his seatmate had told him about his parents but he didn't think Baekhyun's family would get into an argument about him right _in front_ of him.

"Okay then. I will listen to it. Only without him though. Be right back," Baekhyun informed the displeased couple and placed his hands on Chanyeol's shoulders to lead him to his room, thankfully unable to notice how said male's mind went haywire because of the little action that shouldn't have such a big impact on him.

' _Ohmygosh he- we're! I'm!!'_

"Sorry for that," Baekhyun apologized after closing the door behind them and let go of him, the annoyance in his voice drawing Chanyeol's attention to the matter at hand again in no time.

"I showed them tons of pictures from your Instagram account to prepare them for your 'unusual' looks and asked them not to bombard you with any unnecessary questions about your appearance or school several times and yet it didn't do shit," he grumbled. "But well, guess I should have told them about your family situation as well. My bad."

"Nah.. it's okay," Chanyeol assured even though he couldn't deny that the situation a few moments ago had made him extremely uncomfortable, surprised that Baekhyun was putting so much effort into the feared meetup. "Could've been worse."

_'Good that they didn't get to ask me 'bout my grades for example,'_ he added in his mind, the imagination so scary it made him shudder.

Baekhyun's parents would have kicked him out right away. Without any doubt.

"The way they're acting ... I'm sure they're doing it because they want you to distance yourself from me," Baekhyun sighed and shoved one of the many chocolate cookies on his desk in his mouth, humming after gulping it down.

"Little do they know you're so goddamn stubborn that you're clinging to me despite having thousands of good reasons to let go," he chuckled and gave Chanyeol a wide smile - the genuine one that didn't fail to fill his heart with an addictive and fuzzy kind of warmth even in the middle of December.

Yeah, he sure as hell wasn't going to give up on someone as special as Baekhyun, not without a fight.

That would be even more insane than drinking coffee in the middle of the night.

 

 

 

 

"We're serious, Baekhyun. You need to end your friendship with him before it's too late. I do not want to risk that he influences you and you start walking around like a freak with no future as well," Mrs Byun repeated for the nth time, taking her son's hands into hers and squeezing them. "Trust me, staying away from such problematic people would be the best for you."

_'Fucking bullshit,'_ Baekhyun thought, his mouth twitching because of the countless words full of anger and frustration he had been holding back with all his might ever since he joined his parents on the couch in the living room.

Sure, Chanyeol and him were seatmates so they couldn't force him to cut the taller off completely and they would most likely still be able to meet up every now and then since his parents couldn't control his every move but Baekhyun wasn't going to let them have their way.

He wasn't a naive little kid that couldn't make his own decisions, not anymore.

"You should listen to your mother," his dad advised him, a short but unnecessary addition that was so maddening that Baekhyun almost lost all self control right then and there.

"We aren't telling you not to interact with him any longer to punish you for concentrating less on school. It's because we care about you."

The teenager sank his teeth deeply into his lower lip, the point his dad was trying to make so ridiculous that he almost burst out laughing.

_Yeah, right. Sure you do.'_

He didn't want to know how being neglected by them would feel like if his parents seriously thought the way they were always treating him could be considered as 'caring'.

His interests and hobbies, the activities that filled him with pure joy and happiness?

He was only allowed to 'waste' time on such 'unnecessary' things as long as he was doing abnormally well in school.

The fact that he was dreaming about becoming a game developer one day? That he didn't want to fulfill their wishes by applying for Seoul National University in order to study medicine or psychology because he couldn't be less interested in such boring and serious subjects?

A dream he would most likely have to give up on very soon.

His parents had never asked him about _his_ plans for the future and were so set on him studying one of those subjects that he didn't have the guts to tell them what _he_ wanted to do with his life, basically forced to fall silent whenever the topic was brought up.

Him coming home from school with all those painful and sometimes even bloody injuries, only talking if needed, literally hiding in his room, barely smiling any longer until the oh so problematic Chanyeol helped him to stop the bullying?

Error 404, signs of worry about his well-being not found.

Even worse.

They might have helped him to take care of the bigger wounds but treated him as if he had lost his mind while doing so instead of asking him what the hell was going on in school - as if they were sure  _he_ was at fault and planned to start a rebellion.

His parents were satisfied as long as his grades were perfect, as long as he was meeting their expectations, as long as he wasn't himself but behaved exactly like the person they imagined him to be since forever.

And it was tiring.

Being the compliant son that rarely caused any problems was extremely tiring.

"About my grades," Baekhyun corrected quietly, his voice hoarse and dangerously low.

He was about to make a terrible mistake.

He knew that, knew it very well.

"What did you just say ...?"

However, it wasn't too late yet. He could still turn back.

He had been keeping all these things to himself for _years_ after all. He was used to shutting his mouth close around them, was always ignoring such laughable statements and hid how he truly felt about them.

But suddenly, after all this time of complete silence, it felt like he couldn't do it any longer.

As if he had to let everything out.

_... And that's exactly what Baekhyun did._

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CLIFFHANGER WOOOOH
> 
> Buuut no worries! You won't have to wait for the next part for too long this time~
> 
> Remember how I said I won't be able to give you the Christmas chapters in December?
> 
> Well yeah, I lied. Or better said, I realized that I CAN give you one of those chapters at least if I post two chapters in one month and that's basically the plan and the reason why I'm posting a little bit earlier than usually! I hope you'll like the little Christmas gift, ehehe^^ And it's probably good that you won't get both Christmas chapters right away because the second one is kinda... uhh ... more angsty than fluffy and might hurt a bit ... stuff like that :3 So let's keep that one for the New Year~
> 
> I dropped several hints this time so you might have a feeling about what's going on with Chanyeol by now? And in case that anyone was wondering why the hell this cutie started to crush on Baekhyun even though that lil shiet kept pushing him away and was quite mean to him at first... now you know! (Btw, I actually wrote how their first meeting went a few months ago but it was just a little special thingie I did on Amino and I have no idea where to include that scene here tbh.. I think it might be interesting for you guys though so hopefully I'll find a way to post it here as well :c)
> 
> I hope Chanyeols excessive usage of emojis isn't too annoying, I'm hella proud of Baekhyun and Obsession more or less killed me but what's new ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ And I watched Frozen 2 a few days ago so my mind keeps screaming INTO THE UNKNOOOOOOOOOOWN now. Send help. I think I prefer Show yourself though but both songs are woaaah.
> 
> I'm talking to much fjdsaklfdjsa so take care and make sure to dress warmly whenever you go out aaaand see you soon - sooner than usually ♡


	9. A special Christmas gift

 

_Information you might need if_

_you aren’t a Pokémon Master_

 

✦･ﾟ: ⋆✧* ────────

 

_A shiny Pokémon is a specific Pokémon_

_with different coloration to what is_

_usual for its species. The chance of_

_seeing a shiny Pokémon is 1 in every_

_8192‚ or a probability of 0.01220703%_

_during each encounter._

 

──────── ✦･ﾟ:⋆ ✧*

 

_Mythical Pokémon are a group of_

_Pokémon seen so rarely in the_

_Pokémon world that some question_

_their very existence. These are_

_event-exclusive Pokémon that‚ with_

_few exceptions‚ cannot be obtained_

_during normal gameplay._

 

✦･ﾟ: ⋆✧* ────────

 

_That’s all. Enjoy ~_

♡

 

 

 

 

"Do you know what's pretty messed up?"

Baekhyun pulled his mom's hands away and stared into her questioning eyes, ready to drop the bomb even after noticing that his dad who was sitting across from them was glaring at him - most likely because Baekhyun was refusing to do as told and tried to change the topic instead.

He didn't feel like mentioning absolutely everything that was bothering him right now (they would be sitting there for several hours straight if he did), but his parents should hear enough to stop talking badly about Chanyeol despite knowing close to _nothing_ about him before Baekhyun could snap.

Enough to finally gain awareness about the things their son had been going through while still fulfilling most of their unnecessarily high expectations.

It was up to them how they reacted to the painful truth.

As the teachers at school, they might not believe him.

They could brush it off even though they should feel _guilty_ for pressuring him instead of noticing the overbearing darkness that had swallowed him completely at some point.

A dangerously deep and pitch-black ocean he had only been able to escape from when a crazy but incredibly brave idiot shattered his fake facade that had been colder than the water everywhere around him and pulled him out just in time.

They might even get angry for no apparent reason again but Baekhyun had kept his mouth shut for too long to bother about the consequences of being honest any longer.

"You're not only assuming literally all the games I love so much are too brutal for me - and trust me, they're not. Some might be kinda violent and gory but most of them are perfectly fine," he assured and folded his hands in his lap, one quick glance at his mom's scrunched up face enough to tell him she would probably never change her mind.

It wasn't his fault that they weren't listening though.

Animal Crossing, an extremely popular game that couldn't be more pure, would always be one of his all time favorites thanks to its soothing soundtrack, rare innocence, and calming peacefulness.

Games weren't always all about murdering every single one of your opponents in the most brutal way possible in order to win.

Baekhyun couldn't deny that he was enjoying those games as well but there was so much more to the virtual world - something special and magical that had captivated him when he watched his older cousin play games on his Nintendo 64 for the first time.

Something so powerful that it hadn't let him go ever since that sunny afternoon over a decade ago.

It had taken months of begging, countless hours of tedious housework and tons of As to convince his parents to buy him a few games and the needed consoles, too.

In fact, getting their permission had been so difficult that Baekhyun still couldn't believe he had a gaming computer in his room and was free to use it as long as it didn't affect his grades or him as a person.

Which it didn't.

"No, you're also thinking I'm suddenly enjoying violence just because of gaming. As if I'm unable to separate real life from fiction," he continued and lowered his head, unable to look directly at their displeased expressions any longer.

"A few months ago for example ... when I came home after that fight with another student. Remember? You immediately blamed my love for gaming - without any valid reason. Just because you've never really approved of that hobby of mine. And you didn't even give me the chance to explain why that argument _actually_ happened once I let you know I got detention," Baekhyun complained and started chewing on his bottom lip, hoping his words didn't sound accusing enough to get him in trouble.

That day, he had been set on telling his parents as many lies as needed to make sure they left him alone, too scared they wouldn't help him but leave him hanging if he revealed how bad things were.

However, Baekhyun almost broke down and blurted out everything after seeing the shock in their eyes.

It had been a small sign that they've always meant it when they said that they cared - that they didn't only think about his grades but also about him as a _person_.

A sign that he had done them wrong the entire time, making up things because he couldn't seem to find the warmth they should be giving him anywhere, even when they told him how much they _'loved'_ him directly.

Now, he was glad he had managed to keep himself together despite needing someone to understand him - to _save_ him - so desperately at that moment.

After all, the teenager had to realize that keeping his mouth shut and distancing himself from them had been the best decision right when they started to scold him because of trivial things like detention and _gaming._

Even though he had been standing there with tears shimmering in his eyes, his nose bloody and swollen, his skin bruised, and his head full of violent threats and hurtful insults that were breaking him apart.

"Have you never thought that I might have to deal with huge problems all on my own? Not even once?" Baekhyun asked while wringing his hands, his heart beating faster than it should. "And when I say problems.. I mean problems that aren't related to grades. Because those exist, too. Grades aren't the most important thing in the world."

There was a high possibility that he wouldn't have snapped after realizing that Rebecca was trying to copy his answers if his parents didn't force him to study so much for every single test he had to write.

Her getting the same mark as him without lifting a finger while he had to work his ass off for such meaningless achievements.. achievements that probably wouldn't mess with his sanity if he didn't have to fulfill all his parents' other ridiculous wishes, too ...

Back then, it seemed incredibly unfair to him.

It still did.

Sure, he dared to believe the so far most painful period of his life had finally come to an end now that Bryan and Rebecca were attending a different school, now that most students had gotten used to their absence and actually let him be most of the time.

The many injuries all those bullies used to leave on his body have disappeared as well but the ugly marks some of his schoolmates' actions had carved deeply in his heart might never heal completely.

"What are you saying all of a sudden? Is that Chanyeol guy affecting you so much already?"

Mr Byun gave him a sharp look, one that killed Baekhyun's urge to tell them everything related to the bullying in a matter of seconds.

"All teenagers have their little problems, we're fully aware of that. Going through a few difficult days every now and then isn't an excuse to start slacking though. _Nothing_ is," he claimed, his words proving that they really wouldn't show any mercy no matter what was going on with him.

There was no point in telling them.

Absolutely none.

"Growing up is hard, yes, but you need to do well in school in order to be able to attend a good university."

_'...Huh? You're not interested ..? Well, do we look like we care? Fuck whatever kind of nonsense you might be dreaming about,'_ Baekhyun added in his head, his fingers clutching the white cushion next to him. _'We shouldn't waste any time with listening to that kind of stuff. Use those precious hours for studying instead and do what we want you to do. Our plans for you are better than your dreams could ever be anyway.'_

They were wise adults with tons of experience after all.

He was just a bothersome little teenager that had no idea about anything, that should shut up and obey.

A puppet, actually.

Existing to please them with accomplishments that were making him sick.

That was his one and only purpose.

_'In all honesty ... You've never asked but I don't fucking want this. I would rather go to a normal college that doesn't cost a shitload of money.. want to be able to enjoy my life there,'_ Baekhyun thought as he dug his nails into the fuzzy fabric. _'I mean, it's **mine**. Why do I have to live the way **you** want me to live just because you're my parents? Okay, you raised me but I'm still my own person, aren't I? Heck, I'm not even that young anymore so why can't you give me some more freedom?! Is that too much to ask for?'_

Things shouldn't be this way.

They certainly shouldn't.

He didn't have any hope left anymore thanks to their questionable opinions full of unrealistic expectations but he had to let them know how he truly felt about this topic, had to protest.

Obviously, doing so wasn't going to take him anywhere but he couldn't simply go down without a fight.

_'It's not that difficult. Come on, say it. Fucking say it already,'_ Baekhyun tried to encourage himself and inhaled deeply, his heart still pounding wildly. _'Do. It.'_

"What if ... if I don-"

The ringing of his dad's phone stopped Baekhyun before he could finish the sentence he had been preparing himself for, the way Mr Byun's face lit up once he saw who was trying to get in touch with him on a freaking Sunday afternoon showing that their talk had come to an abrupt end.

This was most likely going to be another lengthy phone conversation related to work.

_Fantastic._

"Darling!! It's Mr Jeong! I'm sure he's calling because of the deal I mentioned last week!" Baekhyun's dad exclaimed with excitement in his voice, quick to answer the call now that his wife was urging him to pick up.

_'Uhm. I'm still.. here... you know ...'_ Baekhyun thought, realizing that his father had actually forgotten about him the moment the middle aged man stood up after greeting his potential new business partner politely.

The teenager slouched, his mouth twitching because of the heavy words he was forced to gulp down instead of finally, finally getting the chance to speak them out loud.

Meanwhile, his dad nodded eagerly while listening to the man on the phone and headed towards his workroom, Mrs Byun following him with hurried steps.

Baekhyun, on the other hand, bit into his lower lip and rammed his fist into the innocent pillow once they were gone, letting out a harsh breath.

_'Guess I was meant to be alone and unhappy. That would explain a lot at least,'_ he thought to himself, a bitter smile on his lips. _'No one I've ever met really needed me. They all want something from me but don't give a flying fuck about what **I** want. Taking so much but never giving anything back and making things difficult for me. That's all you assholes can do. The only fucking exception is Yeo-'_

He looked up when Chanyeol entered the room just at the right time as if he could hear his thoughts, noticing how terribly cold it was now only - despite the many red and orange decorative objects in the living room that should give away warmth and that special kind of coziness you could only find at home.

Confused, Baekhyun raised his brows since the tall teenager was wearing his coat and beanie already, the sight ruining his terrible mood even more.

This could only mean his seatmate had enough of this uncomfortable situation and was about to say goodbye so that he could get the hell out of here.

So much for him being an exception.

He couldn't blame him though.

"You down for some fun?" Chanyeol wanted to know, scratching his nape when Baekhyun frowned in response to the unexpected question that proved him wrong.

"Welp, I'm, uh, I.. I was too curious to wait in your room so I came closer," he admitted hesitantly, "n' I heard basically everything cause you guys didn't close the door properly n' I thought you'dneedsome distraction fromallthiscrap maybe," Chanyeol explained so quickly that it was barely understandable, averting his gaze when Baekhyun snorted.

"Aha. I see. And what does my little stalker mean with _'fun'_ , if you don't mind me asking?" he asked teasingly, thankful that Chanyeol didn't _actually_ plan to leave him alone after this useless conversation.

The knowledge made him smile.

It didn't cheer him up again but it was definitely helpful.

"You need some money but it's gonna be totally worth it cause you'll freakin' love it!! No doubt," Chanyeol assured instead of simply telling him what was going on in his mind, his eyes sparkling with excitement even though he certainly didn't get enough sleep the night before.

Those dark bags spoke for themselves.

They were so obvious that even his parents had mentioned them earlier.

"Pff. That could be pretty much anything," Baekhyun remarked, glancing towards his dad's office.

His parents wouldn't stop trying to convince him to cut Chanyeol out of his life if the two of them left together without him informing them, that was for sure.

In fact, they would most likely do so if he stayed, too.

However, he shouldn't interrupt them either.

Baekhyun had made that mistake as a little kid - when he couldn't find his favorite teddy bear anywhere.

He could still remember how his dad lashed out on him because he happened to waddle towards Mr Byun with tears streaming down his face when the man was busy with important calculations.

It was an unnecessarily aggressive reaction he would never forget.

For his parents, school and career came first.

They always did and they were always going to.

Work was so important to them that they might not even notice his absence if Chanyeol and he didn't go out for too long.

Therefore, Baekhyun stood up before any kind of doubts could make him change his mind again and gave Chanyeol a look full of anticipation.

"Fine! I'm in. Let's find out if you're right," he decided and left the living room, putting on his boots and winter jacket in record time since he couldn't wait to escape the lonely place he had to call _'home'._

At least for a short while.

_'Maybe I got it all wrong and was meant to be by your side..?'_ he wondered and stared at their reflections in the mirror near the entrance door, their height difference making him chuckle.

_'I like that idea more. Much more.'_

 

 

 

 

"Nooo! What the-"

"Headshot!!" Baekhyun exclaimed triumphantly after knocking out Chanyeol's character without showing any mercy, pleased with himself now that his defeated opponent was staring at the Game Over screen in disbelief.

Chanyeol hadn't exaggerated.

Baekhyun was madly in love with his idea indeed.

Actually, he could even see himself spending all day and night at the amusement arcade without getting bored.

"You ... what in the world are ya?? How did you ..? _What?!"_ his seatmate that had lead him to the enjoyable place stammered and turned towards him, his big puppy eyes trying to fill Baekhyun's heart with guilt.

Said male wasn't having any of it though.

"Skill," he explained nonchalantly as he shoved the countless arcade tickets he had won with his most recent victory into the pockets of his black jacket, looking around the huge hall that wasn't nearly as crowded as first feared in order to escape Chanyeol's accusing gaze.

Which reminded him...

"Hey, you said they have junk food and soft drinks here as well, right?"

"Yep."

"Well, where? I'm fucking _starving,_ " Baekhyun complained, his face lightening up when he spotted a pink sign that showed delicious looking french fries right next to an abnormal big burger before Chanyeol could help him out of his misery.

"Holy fuck. This is the place of my fucking dreams," he marvelled at the mouth-watering sight and grabbed the taller's right wrist to make sure not to lose him somewhere along the way, dragging his friend towards the fast food area at the very end of the hall.

"Not sure what to pick though ..." he muttered to himself once they got there, already studying the menu that was displayed on the cherry red walls. "Shit, is this legit? Why didn't you tell me they're offering fucking _nachos_ right away?!" Baekhyun gasped out the moment he stumbled upon the unexpected word, his voice filled with excitement. "I didn't eat those in _ages_ holy **fuck** this is the _best_ fucking day of my fucking life!!"

How come he hadn't visited such an ideal place for him anytime before despite living in Seoul since more than ten goddamn years?

"Sounds like ya made your choice," Chanyeol giggled, his eyes glued to a picture of donuts that were decorated with bright glaze and tons of colorful sprinkles in all kinds of cute shapes.

"We should go n' order then, 'kay? Don't wanna anything," he dared to claim even though he didn't seem to be able to avert his gaze any longer.

Baekhyun raised his left brow upon hearing the obvious lie, chuckling to himself when he witnessed how Chanyeol finally managed to look away only to notice that the three female students to their left were currently devouring the donuts he just fell for.

_Hard._

So hard that he licked his lips and swallowed.

"Mhh, right," Baekhyun commented, a smug smirk on his face. "You're drooling over those glossy donuts over there because you certainly _don't_ want to get a taste of their extreme sweetne-"

"Ugh, please don't," Chanyeol interrupted him, sounding so frustrated that Baekhyun listened to him and stopped instead of making his friend even more desperate for the popular dessert.

"I mean, I'd love to have one of course but I ... uh, like, I've kinda spent much more money than I should already," he admitted with a sigh, "n' that's bad.. really bad. This shouldn't get outta hand so I gotta resist y'know ..."

Slowly, Baekhyun nodded, the tone of his seatmate's explanation so sad that he couldn't let this slide.

Chanyeol was currently working up to _four_ times a week even though school was in the way but he didn't seem to be able to spend much of his hard earned money on things that made him happy.

Someone like him didn't deserve that kind of unfairness.

"Hmm, I see. Nice plan you've got there! I think I have a better one though," Baekhyun announced as he took a step closer, smiling evilly since he could already imagine how his seatmate was going to react to the playful idea his mind just came up with.

Baekhyun couldn't help it.

Teasing this guy was way too much fun to miss out on such a perfect opportunity.

"How about you give in to your urges," he suggested as he pulled out some money of his wallet, "and become my sugar baby instead?" Baekhyun asked while brushing Chanyeol's left cheek softly with one of the banknotes, bursting into laughter because his seatmate let out a weird noise and brought some distance in between the two of them again in a matter of seconds.

"I.. I'm ... you- ohmyGod _stop!!"_ he squeaked now that Baekhyun was wiggling his eyebrows suggestively, covering his face in embarrassement.

"I'm no God. Daddy is enough," Baekhyun joked and pulled Chanyeol's hands away, giving him a wide grin alongside with his wallet. "Seriously though, just take it and order for us, okay? I'll try to find a table in a quiet corner in the meantime. I want XL nachos with cheese sauce and a coke - ah, by the way, we can share the drink if you order the biggest one they have here! I don't mind and it's a smart choice because we would save some money that way and I guess you'd be more comfortable with this entire thing then, too," he pointed out and nodded to himself.

"But."

Baekhyun glared at his classmate after speaking out the harmless word as strictly as he could, raising his chin.

"You better don't disappoint me. If you don't get yourself at least _two_ of those goddamn donuts I'm going to kick your ass so hard you'll feel as if someone fucked it real good all. night. long. You got that?"

Chanyeol's eyes widened, his mouth opening and closing again without any sound leaving his lips - a shocked reaction that couldn't be more amusing.

"I'll .. uh. I'm ... I will ... I-order!! Uhm, yeah. I'll.. order," he finally managed to bring out with lots of effort, quickly turning away from him to queue for the requested food.

Baekhyun, however, wasn't quite done with teasing yet.

"Or would you actually enjoy that kind of pain Yeollie?" he whispered after approaching Chanyeol again, giving him a playful smirk.

Unsurprisingly, his flustered seatmate averted his gaze instead of answering the casual question but those burning red cheeks that reminded him of the walls at this place satisfied Baekhyun enough to finally let the poor guy be.

(Well, for now at least.)

 

 

 

 

"What do ya want in return?" Chanyeol asked once he was sitting opposite to Baekhyun and handed him his wallet, not receiving any reply since said male attacked the delicious smelling nachos as soon as he got the chance to do so.

"Mhh, fuck yeah. I missed that taste so fucking much," Baekhyun hummed in delight and grabbed another tasty nacho, dipping it in cheese sauce and pressing it on Chanyeol's lips since his friend wasn't eating yet.

"Stop giving me that look and have some, too. There's more than enough for both of us."

At first, Chanyeol only blinked at him but he broke the eye contact and opened his mouth after a couple of seconds, doing as told.

Baekhyun had to stop himself from making yet another suggestive comment upon witnessing that kind of obedience.

"Also, I thought it's obvious but I was joking earlier," he made clear instead, continuing to feed Chanyeol while doing so. "I don't have a freaking daddy kink and no, that still doesn't mean you have to give me shit because we're friends and that's how friendship works. Okay?"

"But I'm gonna feel bad if I dun give ya anything in return!!" his seatmate complained with his mouth still full, his significant pout finding its way on his stained lips when Baekhyun rolled his eyes.

"Just tell me what ya want so that I can give it to you already! Pleaseeee," he added in a whiny voice, trying to convince him to come up with something even though there wasn't any need to.

"Jeez, why are you like this," Baekhyun grumbled as he munched on his beloved nachos, huffing now that Chanyeol was giving him that extremely dangerous puppy look.

_'Extremely dangerous'_ because Baekhyun couldn't resist it.

He just couldn't.

"Okay, okay. You win," he gave up since he didn't seem to have any other choice and leaned back in his seat. "Let me think."

Simple things like _'Let's come here more often in the future'_ or _'Show me places similar to this one please_ ' sounded good enough to satisfy his stubborn friend - until Baekhyun realized that this was his chance to obtain important information Chanyeol was currently keeping to himself.

It would probably take months or even _ages_ if he kept waiting for the taller to start this conversation on his own.

If he asked normally, Chanyeol would most definitely act as if he had no idea what the hell Baekhyun was talking about.

This way, however, he was basically _forced_ to give him something.

Obviously, this wasn't the nicest method to approach the situation but Baekhyun was simply too concerned about his friend to be able to care much about it at this point.

"Tell me what's going on with you," he instructed therefore, anything but surprised when Chanyeol tilted his head to the side and frowned.

It wouldn't have been suspicious if he had reacted right away instead of freezing for a couple of seconds first.

"Uhh ... what?"

"I want you to tell me what's wrong. It's quite obvious something is happening and it seems to be anything but good," Baekhyun elaborated, unsure if doing so was a good idea.

Chanyeol ended up _crying_ that one time he let his curiosity take over and he surely could do without something like that happening again today.

But ...

"You know, I'm talking to Jongdae every now and then and both of us are sure you're going through lots of shit at the moment," Baekhyun admitted and bent one of the neon orange colored straws inside their shared coke. "Our problem is just that we have no idea what exactly you have to deal with and why it's affecting you so much and we're pretty damn worried about you by now so uhm.. it would be nice if you could open up? I guess."

_'Or tell **him** at least,'_ he added in his mind as he pressed his lips together to prevent himself from speaking any of his negative thoughts out loud. _'I haven't been much of a help so far so of course you're not going to trust me enough to ask me for advice and I suck big time at comforting, too, but he ... he's perfect for all that stuff.'_

"Woah, hold on. Am I getting this right? Dae n' you became friends?" Chanyeol gasped and looked at him with huge eyes, obviously trying to shift the focus somewhere else. "Oh my gosh, that's so freakin' awesome!! I knew you'd ge-"

"Ew, no. We didn't," Baekhyun denied, grimacing. He was tolerating Chanyeol's best friend by now - kind of at least - but the only reason why he had decided to give him his number on his seatmate's birthday was because his concern was much bigger than those annoying jealous feelings he shouldn't have in the first place.

"And don't change the topic please. This is important."

Baekhyun kept looking at him with a serious expression on his face to make sure his classmate realized that he meant it but Chanyeol lowered his head and pursed his lips even though he seemed to understand, staring at the two unicorn donuts he couldn't help buying thanks to the little _'threat'_ earlier.

Now that his eyes were filled with sadness and not with pure need for sweet food any longer, Baekhyun couldn't stand watching him though.

"But I don't wanna talk 'bout it," Chanyeol muttered so quietly that Baekhyun could barely hear him and took off the childish bracelet he was still wearing to this day, starting to play with it.

_'I'm an insensitive asshole, aren't I?_ ' was all Baekhyun could think as he wrapped his hands around the ice cold paper cup.

So tightly that the lid almost fell off.

"Okay ... you.. it's not like you have to," he relented before he could make things worse, regretting that he had allowed himself to ruin the previous cheerful mood so carelessly. "Just know I would be there for you if you happen to change your mind," Baekhyun mumbled, holding onto the flimsy cup until his palms were cold, too.

"Mhh, thanks. Means a lot to me," Chanyeol replied and gave him a little smile that was anything but genuine despite the honesty Baekhyun could hear inside those words, awkward silence surrounding the two teenagers afterwards.

He would turn back time without a second thought so that he could give his seatmate a funny task that made both of them laugh instead of distressing him with such direct words related to things Chanyeol was apparently trying to run away from.

If only he could.

 

 

 

 

* * *

「 _Thursday, 24 December 2018_ 」

* * *

 

Baekhyun couldn't deny that he had his doubts in the beginning.

However, he realized that promising his parents to start studying a week earlier than originally agreed on to prove that his classmate did _not_ have any bad influence on him or his grades had been a good decision the moment he stepped inside Chanyeol's living room.

Baekhyun was taller than the fake Christmas tree even though he was currently _sitting_ in front of it while he couldn't reach the top of the tree they had at home without the help of a chair, several of the decorative lights displayed on the windows weren't working correctly anymore and it was so chilly inside that his friend had given him a fluffy blanket right after opening the door.

All those little imperfections made the atmosphere so cozy that he couldn't help adoring them though.

All of a sudden, he didn't mind the hours of begging it had taken him to convince his parents to let him go any longer.

This evening was going to be worth the extra amount of work, too.

Definitely.

"Kay, so what do you wanna do first??" Chanyeol asked once he was sitting next to him, his eyes shimmering with the same excitement Baekhyun was feeling at the moment.

He didn't make it obvious though.

His seatmate, on the other hand, was fidgeting like a little kid that just got to know it was going to visit an amusement park for the very first time in its life today.

"How 'bout food? My mom baked some Christmas cookies yesterday and they're so fucking good.. you're gonna fall in love with them, I'm tellin' ya!! N' we can play some games of course! I dun have as many as you but I can't wait to get owned in every single one," Chanyeol giggled, gesticulating wildly while talking so fast that Baekhyun couldn't understand how he hadn't stumbled over his own words yet.

"WoAH, or how about a movie marathon?? We have tons of Disney DVDs n' you told me you've never watched some of their biggest movies! Not even The Lion King or Cinderella or freaking _Frozen!!_ Like, what?! Bruh, you're missing out! Ahh, or are ya more in the mood for some anime stuff? We coul-"

"Yeol. Calm the fuck down," Baekhyun interrupted him once he had enough and grabbed both of Chanyeol's wrists before he could accidentally hit himself, his tight grip shutting up his hyper friend immediately.

"Seems like someone had too much sugar," he noted, giving Chanyeol a _'really now'_ look when the taller shook his head so fast it was probably making him dizzy.

Sure, his seatmate was extremely talkative and lively most of the time but his current behaviour could only be related to those unhealthy energy drinks he didn't seem to be able to get enough from these days.

"Welp, guess I shouldn't give you my present anytime soon then," Baekhyun stated with a shrug, snickering because Chanyeol was staring at him as if he had just told him that chewing gum had become an illegal product no one was allowed to consume any longer.

"What? I doubt I'd be able to handle you if you receive that gift now," he explained and pointed towards one of the wrapped presents underneath the Christmas tree.

Chocolate cupcakes.

"But here, you can have the other one."

Baekhyun grabbed the wrapped box with the adorable Pokémon hat he had gotten out of one of the clawing machines at the arcade they visited together last week and gave it to Chanyeol.

He knew those kind of machines were usually rigged of course but he came back to the arcade all on his own even so, trying out his luck despite his low expectations.

Just because he couldn't forget how his friend had slowed down and almost stopped walking completely upon spotting the Pokémon themed clawing machine on their way out.

"Wanted to ask ya earlier already ... why are there two," Chanyeol asked, hesitating to accept the present. "I told you not to spend too much mone-"

"Chillax, I didn't. I got this one out of a clawing machine and no, it didn't take me thousands attempts but around five only. The second one is selfmade so go ahead and open it before I lose my patience," Baekhyun cut him off, a satisfied smile finding its way on his lips since Chanyeol listened to him and ripped the glittery Hello Kitty wrapping paper open without wasting any more time.

Baekhyun couldn't tell if there had been a specific hat that caught Chanyeol's attention or if his love for the franchise in general was to blame for his reaction but he knew which one to go for the moment he had been standing in front of that particular clawing machine.

And somehow, he achieved his goal and got it.

"Wait. I.. is that what I think it is...?"

Baekhyun watched how Chanyeol pulled out the pastel colored fleece hat that was resembling the fairy Pokémon Sylveon in its shiny form, his friend's jaw dropping now that he was holding it in his hands.

"Oh my **_gosh_**."

"What?"

"It's so much softer than expected Baek," Chanyeol gasped and brushed one of the white ribbons attached to the bow that decorated the Pokémon's gigantic blue ears, looking at him with shining eyes. "Thank you so much!!! I love it! But how the fuck did you get it outta there? So fast even!! I thought that's impossible! N' how come you knew I wanted a Sylve- oh shit," he interrupted himself and clutched the hat, the happy glimmer making place for pure terror in a matter of seconds.

"Fuck. You're- you can read minds ... can.. can't you?!"

"It took you this long to find out?" Baekhyun deadpanned, rolling his eyes right afterwards because apparently, the reply was so shocking for Chanyeol that he dropped the hat despite his strong grip.

"Dang. You'd believe everything I tell you without thinking much about it, huh?" the teenager laughed and grabbed the hat that was incredibly soft indeed.

"Growlithe might be your favorite but come on. You're cute as heck, you love pastel colors and all that fluffy kind of shit and you have freaking fairy ears. You'd totally be a Sylveon if you were a Pokémon," Baekhyun explained the actual reason for hitting the bull's eye.

"I hope you don't mind me going for the shiny version though? Just thought it would suit you better because shiny Pokémon are fucking difficult to find and they're damn special," Baekhyun added as he put the hat on Chanyeol's head and adjusted it, his lips curving up because his friend looked adorable with the outstanding accessory that matched his hair - and personality - perfectly.

"Like you."

"Uhh. I'm.. I love the different colors so no worries but I- I'm not ... not really anything.. special ... y'know," Chanyeol dared to deny, his eyes going round when Baekhyun used the ribbons at the sides of the hat to pull him down until their noses were only centimeters apart.

"Yeol."

"Hm ..?"

"Shut up and accept the facts," Baekhyun ordered, only letting go again when his friend looked down at his baby blue wool socks and nodded so lightly that it was barely visible.

"...okay .."

"Good boy," Baekhyun praised jokingly while patting Chanyeol's head, reaching for his phone afterwards. "And now let me take some pictures! I'll be offended as fuck if you don't post at least _one_ picture of you with that fucking hat on your Instagram, just that you know."

"I'd rather want one together with ya though," Chanyeol protested, brushing the palm of his right hand with the pink colored tip of one of the hat's ribbons. "Not for Insta. More like.. uhm, for my room.. cause you're still not there cause we dun have any pictures together cause you're never down for takin' some ... so uhh .. yeah."

_'That's because pictures of me usually turn out fucking awful even when I feel like I'm looking alright,'_ Baekhyun thought to himself, snorting since his attempts to take decent selfies always frustrated him so much that he gave up without gaining anything most of the time.

Tonight, he decided to agree even so though.

Chanyeol had an astoundingly gigantic collage of pictures that showed him together with his friends and family up on his wall.

It was about time that Baekhyun became a part of it, too.

Also, now that he was thinking about it..

..it was about damn time that he received his mysterious Christmas present as well.

"Hmmn, true. We can do that if you want it so badly of course," he chirped, unable to hide his curiosity any longer since he couldn't see his present anywhere underneath the Christmas tree for some strange reason.

"But you need to give me my gift first, okay?"

 

 

 

 

Around three seconds.

That's how long it had taken Chanyeol to revive memories that were hidden somewhere deep inside Baekhyun's heart.

He was sitting on the taller's bed with his legs crossed, his eyes closed because of the words Chanyeol had told him shortly before starting the little personal _'keyboard concert'._

_("You dun need to see anything, you just gotta listen n' feel! N' I'm probably gonna screw up if you watch me play, not gonna lie.")_

Baekhyun, however, was seeing plenty of things despite doing as told.

Instead of pure darkness, water was surrounding him yet again.

It wasn't comparable to the terrifying ocean that had been set on breaking him apart though.

No, the endless blue everywhere around him was calm, soothing, extremely warm, and familiar.

The bay he was currently seeing in his head used to be one of his favorite virtual places to spend his free time at as a child after all.

Baekhyun could still remember how quickly he used to do his homework right after coming home from school just so that he could start playing the wonderful Nintendo game as soon as possible.

He would never forget how often he got lost in the princess's huge castle in the beginning, would always love how various magical paintings that decorated the plain walls could take him to different worlds if he jumped right into them - beautiful worlds full of secrets, colorful but dangerous enemies, and tons of confusing missions he hadn't been able to complete yet back then.

Today, he could beat the game in a matter of hours as long as he used the tricks and glitches speedrunners on youtube have taught him.

The shimmering ocean blue color also reminded him of the times when he sneaked into the living room in the middle of the night just so that he could continue secretely playing past his bedtime.

It reminded him of summer break and of the feeling of seemingly endless freedom, of those delicious cornflakes filled with chocolate and of the bear shaped chips he had been eating when his cousin showed him his enormous video game collection for the very first time ...

Obviously, there were tons of games with better graphics and more complex plot lines these days but none of them would ever be able to take over Super Mario 64's spot inside Baekhyun's heart.

No matter how hard they tried to impress him.

_'Damn. I didn't expect you to be **this** fucking good. Never thought you'd go to such an extent for my present either. You really never fail to surprise me.'_

Baekhyun took a deep breath because Chanyeol was starting to press the keys with more force and aggressiveness all of a sudden, grabbing the sheets underneath him tightly now that the imaginary water around him wasn't nearly as peaceful as in the beginning anymore.

It wasn't scary though.

Only wild and fierce, almost as if he was near that creepy eel that used to give him nightmares.

But he didn't feel any kind of fear even so.

Why should he?

Things weren't like back then any longer.

He wasn't all alone.

Chanyeol was with him.

_'Okay, I didn't forget what you said and I know I promised not to look .. but I need to see this new side of yours. I just need to,'_ Baekhyun eventually thought, unable to keep fighting against the strong urge to open his eyes any longer despite loving the happy memories everywhere around him to death.

However, his troublesome curiosity was winning yet again.

_'I'm sorry ... just don't notice it.. please.'_

Chanyeol hadn't taken off the striking hat ever since Baekhyun helped him putting it on but instead of jumping around like a hyperactive child that couldn't stop smiling, he was furrowing his brows in concentration now.

His eyes were set on the black and white keys underneath his fingertips, his lips forming a hard line - until he gradually decreased his pace and played Baekhyun's favorite part of the soundtrack for the two water courses of the game with so much gentleness, care, and emotions that the teenager couldn't see clearly any longer thanks to the tears that were filling his eyes.

Seriously now?

_'Fuck,'_ Baekhyun cursed silently and used his black sleeves to wipe the tears away, his body tensing up because Chanyeol didn't end the song right then and there.

No, this genius bastard decided to fill the ending with so much intensity that Baekhyun could swear it wasn't Mario who had spent too much time under water but _him_ by the time Chanyeol was done.

In fact, he was so affected that he could neither bring out a single word nor move.

_'He.. he did all of this for me. Just for me,'_ Baekhyun realized once more, swallowing hard.

He could only imagine how much time and practice it had taken Chanyeol to make an already perfect soundtrack even better.

_'He's so fucking busy at the moment and yet ...'_

"Uhh, so.. that's it?" Chanyeol broke the silence, turning off his keyboard that was decorated with dozens of bright stickers.

"I know it's a pretty weird present but I just felt like givin' ya something... memorable..? N' kinda extra, I guess. Like, something you ain't gonna forget so easily. Dunno if I should have done that though," he snorted - probably because Baekhyun hadn't said anything so far.

"I have a recorded version of it as well by the way so if ya actually somehow enjoyed this so much you'd give it another listen one day I could send it t- Baek?!"

"I'm fine!" Baekhyun assured immediately and covered his watery eyes that were giving away how touched he was, sighing because his friend was standing in front of him in a matter of seconds despite those two words.

Chanyeol leaned down and used one of the hat's ribbons to wipe away the teardrop that was running down Baekhyun's right cheek, a concerned look on his face while doing so.

"Fine..? Why the heck are ya cryin' then??"

_'I swear to God.'_

" _Bitch,_ I'm usually only receiving books that are boring as fuck and cheap ass school supplies on my birthday and on Christmas," Baekhyun hissed after pulling his hands away. "And you're asking me why I'm getting emotional when you're gifting me such a fucking _beautiful_ and _unique_ version of a soundtrack that means freaking _everything_ to me ever since I've first heard it?" he huffed, blinking the remaining tears away to make sure they couldn't escape, too.

"Most of the time, people don't make me feel special but like absolute _garbage_ on such days so let me have my moment. _Jeez."_

The strangest things had come to Baekhyun's mind whenever he tried to guess what his Christmas present could be but he surely didn't see something this huge coming.

He still couldn't quite believe it.

"Oh ... but that's evil.. you deserve to feel special, too," Chanyeol mumbled more to himself, plopping down on his bed with a sigh. "I mean, _everyone_ does but you're ... hmn, like, you.. you ar- ah, got it!! You gotta be a _mythical_ Pokémon if I'm a shiny for ya! F'real!!! Jirachi or so maybe...?" he speculated with excitement, a ridiculous suggestion that made Baekhyun burst into laughter since the star shaped creature wasn't only extremely cute, enchanting, and lovable.

No, it was also said to grant wishes - a great ability he certainly didn't have.

"What?! I'd even go for a legendary one but most of those are effin' big n' you're more on the tiny side so-"

"Hold on. Did you just call me tiny..?" Baekhyun interrupted and glared at his classmate, his tone dangerously low.

(Actually, he had zero problems with Chanyeol speaking out the sad truth he had accepted years ago already. He simply couldn't resist teasing his seatmate.)

"Uhm!! What?! Me? N-no, I'm.. I ... I, ehh, I just-"

"Run."

Funnily enough, his seatmate actually sat up immediately and tried to get away from him but Baekhyun pinned him down before he could manage to escape, a little smirk on his face as he climbed on top of Chanyeol.

"Nice try but you're too slow for me, Yeollie. Way too slow," he purred while holding onto the taller's shoulders, enjoying the sight of Chanyeol's flushed cheeks and pink ears to the fullest.

He took the opportunity to inspect his friend's facial features intently - the cute little moles on his nose and right cheek, those slightly parted and plump lips that could easily be around as soft as the hat that had slipped off Chanyeol's head due to the harmless but unexpected _'attack',_ his big almond eyes Baekhyun couldn't see fully because those pastel blue colored bangs were in the way again ...

He brushed Chanyeol's hair out of his face without thinking much about it, raising his brows because his seatmate was gazing at him with a mixture of utmost confusion and worry visible in his pretty eyes.

Even though he should be used to people checking him out.

"Hmm. I bet you're hearing this all the time but whatever, I'm going to say it anyway. You're quite a catch."

"I- _what?!"_

"Your future boyfriend should consider himself lucky! But don't forget to warn him of me before things get too serious," Baekhyun added with an amused tone in his voice, finally letting go of his puzzled classmate. "If that asshole breaks your heart I'm going to beat the living hell out of him. Without showing any kind of mercy," he announced casually as he stood up and stretched.

_'It might sound harsh but I don't give a flying fuck. You went through enough pain already,'_ Baekhyun thought, scowling when his gaze fell on the photograph that showed a brightly smiling and much younger Chanyeol hugging his dad.

_'So I'm going to make everyone pay who dares to hurt you.'_

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "Soft-hearted Chanyeol-ah, I'm always worried that someone will hurt your heart ..."
> 
> :')
> 
> No, this chapter wasn't sponsored by Nintendo. I hope things weren't too confusing for people who aren't that familiar with their games *cough*
> 
> I know it would have been more accurate to post this chapter yesterday because it's all about Christmas Eve but I didn't have any time because Christmas is always full of stress for me so sorry for posting it now only x_x
> 
> You guys have no. freakiNG. idEA. how badly I wanted nachos thanks to the arcade scene. I don't even like nachos thaaat much but I got damn hungry while writing about Baekhyun's undying love for them fgjkkl
> 
> (I also got hungry for donuts of course.)
> 
> And welp, the keyboard part was quite tricky to write. It didn't give me as many troubles as first feared but I'm not really sure if it's good enough/if I'm fully satisfied with it.. ah and btw, the OST Chanyeol played for Baekhyun is called "Dire, Dire Docks". You should give it a listen if you have some time, it's definitely worth it~ I was inspired by [this](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=80eFXnb9Uro) piano cover on yt. I know, it's quite old but it's really, really good. I wanted to go for "River flows in you" first because Chanyeol played that song a few times but I thought it would make more sense for him to pick a song related to a game because Baek's such a gamer >\<
> 
> Speaking about Baekhyun! 
> 
> He's wilding.
> 
> I mean, he's a playful lil shit/a perv in like 50% of this chapter and I'm living for it. I hope it's the same for you :3
> 
> ((I'm talking too much again ugh.))
> 
> Merry Christmas to all of you who are celebrating and since I'm not going to post anymore this year I'm also wishing all of you a Happy New Year filled with lots of happiness, health, love, success, and good memories! Take care and I hope to see all of you in January~
> 
> I already said it last time but let me warn you once more.. the next chapter is kinda going to hurt. Feel free to join the Chanyeol protection squad.


	10. Melting snow

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ! Important information about this chapter! Please read ! This is (currently) not proofread and self-hatred and self harm kinda play a role in here.. more or less? It's difficult to explain but I thought it's better to warn you because there's some violence involved and because one part of this chapter could be described as quite heavy... and I really don't want to make anyone uncomfy ;-; So please be careful, I'm so sorry for making you guys wait for such a long time - I'll explain why at the end of the chapter - aaand enjoy reading despite the pain here and there :') ♡

 

_Chanyeol entered their messy apartment after a long tiring day and locked the door, heaving a sigh now that he was finally back home._

_The eerie silence combined with the seemingly endless darkness was so overbearing that he turned on the lights immediately, a scowl on his face since their irritating flickering only added up to the creepiness he was trying to escape from._

_Once he managed to take off his coat with his numb fingers, he dropped the piece of clothing carelessly instead of hanging it up and got rid of his drenched winter boots that surely had seen better days._

_Chanyeol was terribly exhausted after several hours of plastering on a smile while interacting with extremely annoying female customers that had behaved as if he was a famous kpop idol they had to get close to at all cost._

_So exhausted that he would have curled up on the floor in order to get the much needed rest right then and there if the unpleasant cold breeze coming from behind him didn't make him shudder._

_'Huh ... 's the window open?'_

_Confused, Chanyeol turned around and headed towards Yoomi's room after contemplating going inside for a good minute, leaving wet footprints behind because his socks were so soaked that they kept sticking to the dark blue tiles._

_He peeked through the door, frowning once his eyes got used to the dark since he couldn't spot the source of the coldness that was abnormal even for their shabby apartment._

_Everything was like always._

_The window was closed, most of the moving boxes on Yoomi's bed and in the corner of the room were still waiting to be opened, the walls were just as bare as back then in September, and the little girl that would have been home around this time of the day if things were normal was nowhere to be seen._

_Of course not._

_Things **weren't** normal._

_Technically, she had never moved in together with them._

_Chanyeol's grip on the door handle was so tight that his knuckles turned white, the lonely sight filling him with a disturbing mixture of hot anger and bitter sadness._

_Making his blood boil but also_ _simultaneously_ _trying to freeze it with its merciless coldness._

_This was exactly why he usually avoided her room._

_It shouldn't look like this._

_She shouldn't be anywhere else._

_Especially not in an unhappy place full of sick people that needed help._

_However ..._

_Chanyeol snapped out of his trance when a thought crossed his mind and looked for the light switch - without any success._

_It was nowhwere to be found._

_The switch had disappeared._

_Weird._

_The teenager stepped inside anyway and plopped down on his sister's bed that smelled like the cheap detergent his mom always used, pulling out his phone and turning on its torch to be able to read the scrawly letters Yoomi had written on every single box._

_He might find something that could make her smile among her precious belongings._

_The now determined teenager huffed when his phone slipped out of his cold hand and fell on the wooden floor, praying that the screen hadn't shattered because of his typical clumsiness as he leaned down to look for the device._

_It should have been somewhere near his feet but for some reason, his surroundings were so pitch-black that Chanyeol couldn't see anything._

_"Ugh. Too nippy n' too dark," he mumbled to himself and started to search for his phone with his hands despite the bothersome circumstances, a piercing wave of pain overcoming him when a sharp object cut deeply into his left index finger._

_"Ouch!" Chanyeol cried out and winced, the burning sensation making him tear up immediately._

_Quickly, he covered the aching cut with the hem of his pastel purple colored sweatshirt, pressing his uninjured hand on it in a helpless attempt to stop the bleeding._

_He let go without thinking about it when he got a whiff of tequila, his heart missing a beat the second he realized that he wasn't on Yoomi's bed any longer but outside in the cold._

_Surrounded by glass splitters somewhere in a run-down alley he knew too well despite being there only once in his entire life._

_The teenager gulped, paralysing fear grasping his now racing heart with its razor-sharp claws._

_Squeezing it so forcefully that he clutched his chest and scrunched up his face in pain._

_'No ..'_

_This place ..._

_He might despise it more than hospitals._

_People there were trying to help others at least._

_This alley, however, only reminded him of negative emotions so heavy and intense that it had taken him years to recover from them._

_Of pure darkness._

_Of unbearable pain._

_'Don't wanna.. bring me back .. please...' Chanyeol thought, his breaths quickening as he broke out in a cold sweat._

_He had to **move** , had to get away from here as quickly as possible._

_But he couldn't._

_He wasn't able to stand up._

_He couldn't tear his gaze away from the broken glass on the ground in front of him, couldn't even do something as simple as bending his fingers or closing his eyes._

_How was he supposed to leave?_

_Tip._

_..._

_Tap._

_A shiver ran down Chanyeol's spine._

_He couldn't tell if his imagination was messing with him or if he should trust his ears and try to run away despite his current condition._

_Tip._

_... .._

_Tap._

_His stomach dropped the moment he figured he got it right._

_Someone was approaching him with dangerously slow steps._

_Tip._

_Unlike that night, he wasn't alone._

_Not any longer at least._

_Tap._

_He should have more than enough time to escape._

_Tip._

_To hide.  
_

_Tap._

_To save himself._

_Tip._

_But Chanyeol remained frozen on his spot, still unable to act._

_Tap._

_His body wasn't listening to his screaming mind even_ _though the mysterious person obviously couldn't have any good intentions._

_Tip._

_This was going to be his ... end?_

_'What?'_

_He frowned now that they were standing right in front of him, the nerve-racking fear making place for utmost confusion._

_Not because they just stepped on several glass splitters at once without showing any sign of discomfort_ _despite not wearing shoes_ _while the sight alone hurt Chanyeol's feet already._

_Those bloodstained unicorn socks, however, puzzled him._

_They used to belong to him after all._

_'Hold.. up ... so that.. is tha-'_

_"Dae's right. You're bananas. Off your head. A brainless idiot," the person that turned out to be a boy scoffed at him, his oddly familiar raspy voice that just called Jongdae by the nickname he came up with years ago confirming Chanyeol's suspicion._

_'What the hell??'_

_"I coul've been a street fighter or so_ _n' you're chillin' out here in the dark instead of getting the hell away from me? Even stayin' where ya are after getting that I'm actually an effin' **killer**?? F'real?!"_

_'How's this even .. fuck. What kind of psycho movie is this?' Chanyeol wondered, his face twisting into a grimace since he had to watch how another drop of blood stained the adorable socks he used to love with all his heart._

_They didn't deserve this cruel treatment._

_Finally, he managed to lift his head but he regretted doing so when he realized that the socks' appearance could be described as 'harmless' compared to the boy's dishevelled school uniform._

_The left side of his grey trousers was almost completely blood-soaked._

_Same for the once white sleeves of the male's shirt._

_All because of a small but deep cut on his left index finger that was bleeding heavily._

_'Go away... you shouldn't..'_

_"What you're starin' at? In case you didn't notice," the lad uttered before using his injured finger to point towards the red stain on Chanyeol's shirt caused by a wound that was awfully similar to his. "Your hoodie's not lookin' much better. We're the same."_

_Literally._

_It's why he couldn't handle whatever in the world was going on at the moment._

_The cut didn't even hurt any longer. He had completely forgotten about its existence by now._

_This situation didn't make any sense, was messing with his mind._

_'Someone get me outta here.. please,' Chanyeol begged quietly as he lowered his throbbing head again and took a deep breath, the color draining out of his face when the other male grabbed his chin harshly and forced him to look up._

_He would have averted his eyes or closed them if his opponent's gaze wasn't so piercing that he seemed to look right through him._

_His heartbeat increased even though he had discovered the identity of the teenage boy the very moment he opened his mouth._

_Even though he knew there wasn't any need to be afraid of this guy._

_Or was there ...?_

_Chanyeol couldn't stand violence, only solving his problems on such a nasty way when he was extremely upset and couldn't think clearly or when it seemed like he didn't have any other choice._

_He had always been rather hard on himself though._

_So maybe, he should actually be terrified of this person._

**_Of himself._ **

_"Any idea why I brought ya here?" his past self asked, speaking in such a cold tone that Chanyeol shivered. "Or has no one ... told you yet.." 13 year old Chanyeol murmured as he increased the force of his grip._

_It was weird._

_Hearing 'someone else' speak with the same voice he used to have before it got deeper, being touched by a guy who couldn't possibly exist at the same time as him, looking into those puffy eyes he usually only got to see when he stared blankly in the mirror after a long crying session ..._

_Carefully, Chanyeol scanned the face he knew better than anybody else's, swallowing when his gaze fell onto the dried blood on the teenager's cheeks._

_He wasn't **actually** a killer._

_No. Of course not._

_But he surely could pass as one._

_"Leave... me alone," Chanyeol growled instead of responding to the question that revealed how he ended up at a place he had never wanted to come back to again, the pink haired boy's grip so tight that he could barely talk._

_"First him.. and now even .. Bambi ... 's there anything ... you can do.. right?"_

_'Huh?'_

_Chanyeol furrowed his brows, blinking when the younger version of himself finally let go and gave him a sad smile._

_He shouldn't show any kind of reaction though._

_He couldn't let his guard down either._

_This guy could be more dangerous than first thought._

_He had behaved like a different person for several months straight because of that one heart-wrenching night and the fight before that had made him feel responsible for the entire mess - said and did tons of hurtful things he wished he could eliminate._

_And he had tried. He had tried dozens of times._

_But just like the blue part of an eraser couldn't remove ink, he couldn't undo the damage some of his actions had caused despite trying his best._

_Not fully at least._

_"Listen," Chanyeol grumbled and stood up, making sure not to step on any of the splitters on the dirty ground while doing so.  
_

_"No offence but I had like three hours of sleep n' a tough day at work. I dun have enough energy for your freaky fantasy bullshit right now. N' I promised Bambi t-"_

_"Bambi's gone."_

_Chanyeol shut his mouth and tensed up, staring at his former self with wide eyes._

_The younger boy had only said two simple words but their meaning was so heavy and agonizing that it seemed as if someone was trying to rip his heart out of his chest._

_"Wha..t ...?" Chanyeol stammered, his voice unnaturally thin and croaky._

_"So you really didn't know, huh," former Chanyeol registered and heaved a sigh upon seeing the pure shock in the elder's big eyes. "Happened around the time you came home from work. Thought you got a call from the hospital or so but guess I was wrong."_

_He said all those things so casually.  
_

_Nonchalantly._

_As if he wasn't breaking present Chanyeol's heart more with each word that left his bloody lips._

_'No way.. she... she's ..'_

_Chanyeol didn't want to finish the thought._

_He couldn't._

_"But it's not- it isn't .. they said ... it's not ..." Chanyeol stopped himself, shaking his head in disbelief._

_It wasn't supposed to take her life._

_They had assured it wouldn't be fatal._

_They had mentioned it several times, always giving him encouraging smiles and promises whenever he brought himself to ask the question he was so afraid of._

_This couldn't be true._

_It just couldn't._

_Such important promises weren't meant to be broken._

_"You.. you're lyin' ..." Chanyeol claimed and took a step back when the younger teenager narrowed his eyes because of the accusation, one glass splitter piercing right into his heel._

_That dark gaze was making his blood run cold._

_"We only found out a few .. months ago.. there's no way you can know anything 'bout.. this.. that's ... you can't ..." Chanyeol mumbled and clenched his fists as he glared at the scowling male._

_His past self might be 'him' but that didn't mean he could trust him blindly._

_"Why the hell should I believe you? You're most likely just bullshittin'! You shouldn't even be here!! **You're** the one who's outta his mind, not me! Shut up n' leave me alone!! Fuck off!"_

_"Are you- you think I'd make something like this up?" past Chanyeol asked and crossed his arms, his tone low. "Tell you she's not here anymore even though she's doin' perfectly fine ...? You really think I'd do that?"_

_Chanyeol pressed his quivering lips together, his knees so wobbly that it was a surprise he was still standing straight._

_No._

_He wouldn't._

_He would **never.**_

_No matter what._

_Yoomi could be quite annoying and clingy sometimes - she was his little sister and much younger than him after all - but he wouldn't joke about such a serious topic even if the two of them were in the middle of a huge argument._

_That was a line he wouldn't cross._

_Especially not hours after losing his dad forever._

_"No ... but this.. it.. I.. it can't-"_

_"I swear to God!! Is it really that difficult to understand or did the lack of sleep kill all your brain cells?!" his former self snapped and closed the distance between them in no time, grabbing his collar. "Humans make mistakes, you fuckin' idiot! Even doctors!!" he hissed before pushing Chanyeol away with enough force to make him stumble and fall._

_"She's **gone!!** "_

_Chanyeol gasped for air when his back hit the ground harshly and groaned now that several glass splitters were digging right into his skin since the thin fabric of his old sweatshirt wasn't protecting_ _him._

_The stinging pain was so overwhelming that he only realized his fuming opponent was on top of him moments later._

_"N' you asshat.. you didn't visit her this week. Not even once," past Chanyeol growled as he pulled his pastel blue hair with so much force that the elder whimpered._

_The teenager was right though._

_He couldn't possibly know anything about these things but he seemed to have all the needed information anyway._

_Chanyeol bit into his lower lip, unable to tell if the tears that made his surroundings blurry were caused by the heart-rending news about Yoomi or by the aggressive actions of the_ _Chanyeol of the past._

_Or maybe they were related to his decreased number of visits this month._

_To their lost brother and sister time he would never get back._

_He had his reasons for staying away._

_Those reasons, however, didn't justify his absence these days._

_They only explained it._

_"You should know.. why ..."_

_All those difficult exams he had to pass somehow despite barely paying attention in class. The constant sleep deprivation. How expensive life suddenly was. Working after school even though the first few periods alone could take all his power provided by energy drinks away already. Pretending that things weren't nearly as bad as they actually were because he couldn't stand talking about what was going on, because he didn't want to worry anyone - only to realize that his suspicious and questionable behaviour was worrying his family and friends nevertheless._

_The stomach-churning hospital smell._

_Seeing how weak and broken his sister had become._

_Everything was too much to handle._

_Chanyeol was reaching his limit._

_But the hope that she would be better one day again.. that he could get her out of that hellhole no matter how much he had to pay in order to heal and free her..._

_It kept him going._

_Until said hope died the very moment a crushed boy with bloody cheeks and clothes told him something he hadn't been prepared for._

_"You weren't- nobody ... she .. she_ _was all alone when .. when ..."_

_The younger version of Chanyeol started stuttering, angry tears filling his eyes that were still swollen from crying over the loss of someone who shouldn't have disappeared this early._

_"Why do you- I.. you're.. why are.. am I... al..always.. screwin' up?" the boy whispered with effort since he was choking on his tears, the sheer anguish inside those heartbreaking words wounding Chanyeol more than the harmful glass._

_He used to ask himself that question a lot around that time._

_"Wasn't.. ... kill.. killing ... him.. enough ..." his former self murmured so quietly that it took Chanyeol a couple of seconds to figure out what the trembling male just said._

_Alarmed, he tried to sit up the second he got it, failing because the Chanyeol of the past grabbed him by the shoulders and pressed him back down again._

_He wasn't going to give up so easily though._

_He had to let him know._

_Had to convince him that he wasn't the one to blame._

_That there wasn't any need to feel guilty._

_That he didn't have to suffer this much._

_"Hey... I know it's hard to believe but trust me, that didn't happen because of y-"_

_"Shut up!!! **Everything's** my fault!" his past self yelled and wrapped both of his hands around the elder's neck without hesitation, digging his long nails deeply into his sensitive skin while applying so much pressure that Chanyeol gasped._

_"So it's also.. your.. fault ... cause you're.. me ..."_

_Chanyeol coughed and tried to grab the teenager's wrists to pull his unforgiving hands away before the situation could escalate more._

_However, his fingers went straight through the younger's arms as if he was a ghost - even though past Chanyol's sharp nails were currently gliding down his neck and causing him enough pain to make him cry out loud._

_And yet he didn't seem to be able to defend himself._

_"You're.. hurtin' ... me.. " Chanyeol croaked once he realized that he couldn't fight back no matter how hard he tried, silently praying that he could stop his former self from choking him to death without being able to use his hands._

_"Go..good ..." came the distressing reply that sounded surprisingly shaky._

_**Too** shaky for someone who had the upper hand._

_Chanyeol's watery eyes went round once he understood why._

_13 year old Chanyeol had meant what he said._

_They were the same._

_"Stop.. please ... I.. it's.. it's hur..ting.. you ... too," Chanyeol whimpered weakly as he stared at the bright red nail marks on the younger's bloody neck, the unceasing pressure on his throat starting to make him dizzy._

_\- "Even ... bet..ter..."_

_'Why are ya fightin' back..? We deserve this. Both of us know we do.'_

_No._

_Those weren't his thoughts._

_'Wasn't joking earlier... we're really.._ _a heartless killer. Nothing more. Caused so many people so much pain.. disappointed them ... took his life.. didn't save her... made too many mistakes.. will only make more in the future ...! What if mom's next..? Dae ... Baek.. **No!!** Can't let that happen!! **Enough!!!** '_

_But it was his voice._

_Used to be his voice._

_'Yeol.'_

_Or did it belong to someone else ...?_

_Chanyeol had no idea._

_He couldn't think clearly._

_He wasn't able to talk any longer either._

_To_ _keep his fluttery eyes open._

_To **breathe**._

_'More.. deeper ...'_

_He only knew that it hurt._

_'Fucking die already!!'_

_"Yeol!"_

_So much that he couldn't take it anymore._

**"Yeol!!"**

A loud voice that didn't sound anything like his cut through the fog in his brain, its pure despair that was clearly audible despite his current state overshadowing the unendurable pain.

He knew that voice, knew it very well.

It used to drip with disinterest and annoyance, was either ice cold or so hateful and venomous that it almost scared him away.

Now, Chanyeol could only hear concern.

"Fuck! Wake up already, I'm begging you!!" Baekhyun pleaded as he brushed Chanyeol's wet cheeks with his thumbs, pressing his forehead on the taller's sweaty bangs.

"Come on... please .."

_'Wake up'?_

What was going on all of a sudden?

Did he black out?

But how in the world did Baekhyun find him then?

And where did his past self go?

Was he still there? Hiding somewhere, set on finishing what he had started?

"It's just a dream!"

_'What ...?'_

Chanyeol opened his eyes that were flooded with tears widely but all he saw was a blurry mess of various colors.

His chest was rising and falling quickly now that he could finally breathe freely again, his heart pounding hard in his chest.

It was beating too fast.

As if it was about to explode any second.

A scary, horrifying feeling that would probably make him insane if it didn't disappear soon.

_'Sto..p ...'_

Frightened, he opened his mouth, a choked sob escaping from his lips as the troublesome tears ran down his cheeks and wetted his friend's fingers.

"Yeol? Are you.."

Baekhyun trailed off and brought some distance between them.

He gave Chanyeol a worried look, not daring to let go of his pale face.

"Ugh, fucking finally!! Everything's okay, you hear me? Take a few deep breaths and forget whatever the fuck happened, it wasn't real!! Just breathe!"

_'Not real..?'_ Chanyeol thought, trying to follow Baekhyun's instructions.

_'But it **felt** real ...'_

He grabbed his seatmate's left wrist with all his might and whimpered helplessly upon recalling how enraged 13 year old Chanyeol had been, shutting his watery eyes close despite knowing that he wouldn't be able to escape the bloody pictures inside his head that way.

Many scenes were foggy.

Others, however, were so vivid that he couldn't believe they were supposed to be made up only.

"Hey.. look at me," Baekhyun uttered as he wiped the new tears off his face, the soft skin contact making Chanyeol shiver.

"You said I'm like a mythical Pokémon earlier, remember? So you better get rid of any thoughts related to that nightmare and admire my _'outstanding beauty'_ instead," he added sarcastically, a little smile adorning his lips once Chanyeol did as told and gazed into his eyes.

"There we go!"

"Po..ké...mon ...?" Chanyeol repeated weakly and furrowed his brows, his voice hoarse.

That conversation had happened tonight?

What?

How??

"Gotta catch 'em all," Baekhyun started to sing before Chanyeol could think more about the shocking piece of information, the unexpected action puzzling the drained male. "It's you and me! I know it's my destiny!"

_'...what the fuck?!'_

How come Baekhyun sounded like an  _angel_ even though he was just fooling around to make him feel better?

Chanyeol gaped at his friend and loosened his grip around his wrist but he didn't let go completely, his heartbeat finally slowing down.

"You.. you can sing ...?"

"You could change the world, I know," Baekhyun sang instead of replying - probably because his soothing voice hitting pretty much every single note perfectly was answer enough.

"Cause you've surely changed mine and that's why you are my fairy - ahh, don't you just love it when song lyrics kind of express how you're feeling about something or someone?"

"Huh?" Chanyeol blinked, convinced he had understood his seatmate's question wrong.

It would mean Baekhyun was believing he was _'his fairy'_ , wouldn't it?

And that was impossible.

"In my heart, it's snowing, I'm trying my best to smile.. slowly, it's warming as fate is linking your life with mine," Baekhyun continued singing softly after sitting up straight, his gaze not leaving Chanyeol who couldn't be more perplexed.

_'Wait-'_

Did he actually.. get it right ...?

"Fairy where're you going? We'll gather the light along the way.. Shine on a brand new day!"

Baekhyun shut his eyes close, his voice that became louder and more powerful with each word giving Chanyeol goosebumps.

"In my heart, it's snowing, I'm trying my best to smile because it was you... because, my fairy, it was you," he sang, filling the spontaneous performance with so many emotions and love that Chanyeol was close to bursting into tears again - just for a completely different reason than a few minutes ago.

"It's snowing.. snow fairy ... oh, here in my hands I'll hold it gently, carrying all the light you gave me! Snow fairy ..."

This was easily the best version of this song Chanyeol had ever heard, sounding so heartwarming and _good_ that he was considering recording Baekhyun's singing so that he could listen to it on repeat whenever he wanted to.

"Don't say goodbye!"

In the end, he let it be and sang the last line together with him even though his voice was still terribly croaky.

(Probably not the brightest idea since he started coughing right afterwards.)

"Ugh shit ... I can do better, I swear," Chanyeol whined after clearing his throat and let go of Baekhyun's wrist, the fear caused by the nightmare gone because he wasn't anywhere near that scary place but on the couch in his living room, a paused scene of the popular Disney movie Frozen on the TV screen.

Also, he wasn't alone.

And his company wasn't someone that shouldn't exist any longer. Someone that should be a part of him only and nothing else, someone who was extremely angry and wretched because he had ...

_... devastating news about his little sister._

"Mh. Sure hun," Baekhyun laughed, his cheerfulness fading away the moment he noticed the blank expression on his classmate's face.

"Yeol..?"

_'Bambi's gone.'_

Chanyeol balled his fists, tensing up.

He couldn't recollect every single detail about the conversation in his dream anymore.

He didn't have to.

Knowing what happened to her was enough to bring back the terror - as if it had never disappeared.

"Hey, what's wr-"

"Bambi," Chanyeol mumbled to himself as he sat up and sprang to his feet without giving Baekhyun any explanation, pulling out his phone on his way to his room.

He slammed the door shut once he was inside and dialled Yoomi's number, so set on calling her that he didn't notice it was long past ten pm already.

They might have said it wasn't fatal and not even nearly as bad as it seemed to be sometimes but he _had_ to find out if she was alright.

If it was just a messed up dream indeed or the heartbreaking reality.

_'Pick up.. please .. please ...'_ he thought after pressing his phone on his right ear, his palms so clammy that the device would have slipped from his grasp if he didn't hold it as if his life was depending on it.

"Please," he muttered around a minute later since the shrill ringing didn't want to stop and huddled up in the corner of his room, biting harshly into his lower lip. "Don't freakin' do this to me ... can't handle it.. not again .. I'm.. I ca-"

"Hmmph.. why," Yoomi whined just when he was about to lose it, her drowsy voice taking a load off Chanyeol's mind.

"So cruel Channie.. had the.. best dream ever ... there were so.. so many.. pancakes... mhh ..."

The teenager sighed in relief and wiped the tears in his eyes away, burying his face in his free hand once they were gone.

She was okay.

_Yoomi was okay._

He didn't lose her, could still save her.

Nothing was decided yet.

"Channie?"

"Here," he muttered after drawing in a long breath to calm himself down again and started to rub his temples. "Sorry for wakin' ya up, I just ..."

Yeah, what?

_'I had a terrible dream n' was scared to never see or hear you again thanks to it so I had to call ya in the middle of the night'?_

There was no way he could say something like that.

She would only feel bad for things she had absolutely no control over.

"...just.. uh ..." He trailed off while glancing around his chaotic room, getting an idea that might work as a good excuse when his gaze fell on the ripped Monopoly box near his feet. "Ah! Want me to bring any games for tomorrow maybe?" Chanyeol asked therefore, hoping she would buy it and not see right through him.

Lying was easier over the phone though.

Much easier.

"You'll be there too?!" came the shocked reaction that made his stomach turn.

"Wha- really?? No joke?"

She sounded as if she couldn't believe it. As if she thought she was still stuck inside a dream.

Most likely because he was slacking a lot these days, always too exhausted to visit her after coming home.

He was also so sick of that uninviting building and the goddamn smell that he could barely bring himself to spend a few minutes together with her there.

Daily calls and messages alone, however, couldn't replace actually being next to her.

Not even video calls could.

Communicating that way wasn't the same as staying right by Yoomi's side.

_'I'm the worst brother ever,'_ Chanyeol thought as he rested his head on his knees, a bitter smile on his lips.

"Yeah.. know it's been a while so I'm gonna come over for sure."

"Oh my gosh! Thank you!! I'm happy! Really, really happy!" Yoomi exclaimed, her tone so cheerful that the teenager could feel her joy even over the phone. "Just bring everything we have, okay? I miss playing games with you!"

"Same here," Chanyeol murmured, closing his eyes.

_'Actually, I miss ya in general.'_

"This is going to be so much fun Channie! But ahh.. I'll need lots of energy then ... do you think I can find my dream again if I try to go back to sleep?"

_'Wouldn't have enough courage to sleep ever again if that was the case,'_ Chanyeol thought to himself, his mouth twitching.

He knew it wasn't impossible though.

"Hmn, never really worked for me but maybe if you think 'bout pancakes n' nothing else? Might only make ya hungry though. Even I'm gettin' kinda hungry here because of ya," he snorted after lifting his head, brushing his tummy and scrunching his nose upon realizing that his shirt was drenched in sweat.

It was sticking to him and yet he hadn't noticed until now.

"Huuh .. sorry," Yoomi mumbled in a sleepy voice, yawning loudly right after speaking out those words. "I'll try it.. out..."

"Mhh, 'kay. Hope it'll work! Dun wanna steal more of your sleep so g'night Bambi. Sleep well n' take care... love ya," the teenager uttered as he played with the bracelet Yoomi had made for him, not too surprised when he didn't get any reply.

He had woken her up and it was long past her bedtime after all.

"N' I'm sorry," he whispered when he was entirely sure that the little girl had fallen asleep with her phone in her hands. "Just gimme some more time, 'kay? I'm gonna get you outta there."

With that, he ended the call and stood up, stopping dead in his tracks since tons of black spots started dancing before his eyes.

Everything seemed to be spinning, too.

Chanyeol grimaced, blinked rapidly, and headed towards his closet once he could see normally again, grabbing a bunch of clothes before leaving his room.

He almost tripped over Baekhyun who was sitting right in front of his door.

"Hi there! Calm again?" said male asked casually even though he just gave Chanyeol a mini heart attack.

"Had a strong feeling that you didn't want me in there because you pretty much ran away from me and closed the door behind you in the loudest way possible so I turned off the TV and decided to wait here instead," he explained upon noticing the confused expression on his friend's face and locked his phone, putting it on his lap.

_'Shit.'_

"Sorry," Chanyeol apologized immediately and averted his gaze while rubbing his nape with his free hand. "Had to make sure if.. if it was only a dream f'real... that's why. Had nothin' to do with ya."

"And? Do you know more now?"

"Yep. Everything's fine so I'm better again. Just sweaty as hell," he admitted as he pressed his clean clothes to his chest. "So, uhm, would it bother ya if I take a quick sho-"

"Why should it? Just go," Baekhyun interrupted him and stood up, getting out of the way to let him through. "But don't slip please. Also", he added, a little smirk appearing on his lips. "Cute boxers you got there."

"Wha... oh."

Chanyeol took a step back, quick to hide the pastel blue boxer shorts that were adorned with colorful stars, fluffy clouds, and rainbows under his sweats even though Baekhyun had seen it all already.

"That, eh, I ... .. uhm, can.. can we please act as if this didn't.. happen..." he mumbled, his face too hot for how cold it was inside the apartment.

"Mhm. Whatever you want, baby boy."

Chanyeol froze, his heart stopping for a moment.

_'Oh my **gosh** what?!? **'**_

 

 

 

 

Chanyeol was lying face down on his bed around 15 minutes later, terribly exhausted even after the shower that should have been refreshing.

This was one of the many reasons why he would rather pull all-nighters than sleep at the moment.

Sleep was supposed to make him feel energized and not like he was a piece of cake that had fallen to the ground and got stepped on several times.

"When're your parents gonna pick ya up 'gain?" Chanyeol asked as he turned his head to the side, giving Baekhyun who was sitting right next to him a curious look.

His friend had told him the day before but he couldn't remember the exact time anymore.

"Seven am."

"Mhh.. 'kay," Chanyeol mumbled without paying much attention to the odd reply and buried his face in the blanket only to jerk up his head the moment he realized what Baekhyun just said.

The movement was so quick and sudden that it made him dizzy for a couple of seconds.

"Wait, what?!"

_'The hell??'_

It should have been something like ten or eleven pm if he wasn't mistaken, maybe even midnight, but definitely nothing related to the early morning hours - he knew that for sure.

There was no way his heart would have forgotten that this meet-up was actually a _sleepover._

Absolutely no way.

In fact, it would have constantly reminded him about it if that was the case.

"Surprise?" Baekhyun declared with an awkward smile on his lips and put his phone away, running his fingers through his hair. "I wouldn't have asked for permission to stay overnight if you weren't alone .. but your mom only comes back from work in the morning and you said your sister's sleeping over at a friend's house tonight," he explained the change of plans, his eyes set on his black socks.

Chanyeol gulped upon hearing the lie he had told his friend shortly after he arrived, wondering if he noticed anything or not.

It was rather strange that Baekhyun hadn't seen his sister yet after all - that she was never at home whenever they met up at his place.

Something that hadn't happened too often so far because he was trying to prevent it at all cost since her constant absence would be extremely suspicious otherwise.

And Chanyeol didn't want to talk about the reason.

_Couldn't_ talk about it.

"I couldn't really help calling my mom after witnessing ..." Baekhyun paused and glanced at Chanyeol, probably unsure how to put it into words. "Well.. _that._ I wouldn't be surprised if such things happen on a regular basis with how sleep-deprived you always are these days.And I didn't ask you if it's okay beforehand because you wouldn't have agreed for sure so why bother?" he asked, snorting. "Bet you would have said it's not necessary even though you're actually scared as fuck on your own."

Chanyeol made a face, not daring to look at Baekhyun.

How come he could read him so easily?

Was he really  _that_ obvious?

"I usually don't do such spontaneous things but leaving you all alone just to satisfy your selfless wishes would have been fucking shitty of me. Not to forget that you scared the crap out of me," he admitted and gave him a concerned gaze. "You were thrashing around and said some pretty weird things. So yeah... I hope you're not mad at me for making such a big decision on my own. Just felt like I had to stay, basically."

_'Not like I wanted to sleep more after this but welp..'_

Forcing Baekhyun to call his parents yet again after his efforts to convince them to allow him to sleep over wouldn't be a good idea.

Chanyeol had caused enough drama and trouble already.

"Sorry ... didn't mean to scare ya. N' I dun really mind," he mumbled even though he rather wouldn't risk Baekhyun witnessing how much his dreams could affect him ever again.

He was drained enough to fall asleep soon despite not planning to sleep after all.

He could also feel how those joyful little butterflies in his stomach were already starting to go crazy again though.

His mind might be against this but his heart ...

_'Ahh, fuck.'_

Baekhyun and him were going to be alone together. All night long. Just the two of them.

It didn't have to end in a disaster.

They could enjoy themselves, too.

Watch more movies or play games or sing together.

How _not_ to be excited?

"Yeah, I'm aware of that. No worries," Baekhyun assured him, bringing him back to reality. "I'm just hoping you won't dream more upsetting bullshit tonight. Would try to wake you up again of course but it would still suck big time .. I don't think I would have been able to sleep comfortably later if they didn't let me stay here, not gonna lie."

Which reminded him...

Chanyeol furrowed his brows, giving his seatmate a questioning look.

"Was pretty ew to get their permission, wasn't it..?"

Chanyeol knew it couldn't have been a simple task before even receiving an answer.

He couldn't help wondering  _how_ difficult persuading them had been though.

"Eh? What makes you think that?? Of course not. My mom was all like _'Sure thing Baekhyun, that's absolutely no problem!'_ " his seatmate exclaimed, imitating the woman's voice. " _'How about we just cancel the entire trip and you enjoy your holidays together with your friend instead of spending it with boring ass people?'_ "

"I wish," Chanyeol sighed, still wondering why Baekhyun's parents always had to be so terribly strict.

He would probably feel as if he was about to suffocate every single day of his life if his mom was such a killjoy, too.

"Same here. Seriously though, I didn't think they would agree for real, especially not that fast. Okay, it took a couple of white lies and lots of begging of course, I had to make some promises I'll probably regret very soon, and I'll have to leave my Switch at home for the trip but hey ... it worked," Baekhyun said with a shrug of his shoulders.

_'What?!'_

Chanyeol sat up and grabbed Baekhyun's phone, shoving it in his classmate's face.

Change of plans.

Baekhyun might have done literally _everything_ in his power in order to be able to stay with him tonight but he couldn't be so selfish and accept this.

"That's too much, way too much!! Call her n' tell 'em to pick ya up tonight! I'm not planning to sleep anyway so you dun have t-"

"Dude, I'll be fine. I'm used to crap like this and there are other games I can play. And that's _not_ how you should solve the issue," Baekhyun advised him and took the phone from Chanyeol's hands, tossing it on the soft pink colored sheets instead of using it to call his parents.

"Sleep deprivation can lead to serious health problems. It makes studying more difficult than it already is because it's messing with your attention span, with your concentration, and with your memory, it makes you fucking moody, can even lea-"

"I know!!" Chanyeol interrupted him since he was fully aware of the many negative consequences and ruffled his wet hair in frustration. "Looked it up _years ago_ , 'kay? N' I've never forgotten it so you dun have to remind me!"

"Oh really?" Baekhyun raised a brow, his sceptical tone proving that he thought otherwise. "Sounds like I have to though. I mean, why the heck would you force yourself to stay awake even though you know it'll just fuck you up? Why would you do that to yourself?"

Chanyeol averted his gaze, wringing his hands and remaining quiet for a good while before he opened his mouth again.

"Cause sleeping's worse.. much worse," he murmured just when Baekhyun was about to ask if he was going to get any answer, his words so quiet that they were barely audible despite the silence in the room.

"Usually... it .. it's usually not.. not _that_ bad. Just wake up a lot.. or can.. can't fall asleep, y'know," he explained himself hesitantly. "N' I know that earlier was another nightmare only... - you're right by the way, I .. uhm, I have those a lot. But that one.. it was ... was so-"

He stopped abruptly when a blurry picture of 13 year old Chanyeol's bloody neck flashed into his mind, shaking his head in hope to get rid of the disturbing image.

It wasn't working.

He didn't want to meet him again.

He shouldn't sleep.

The risk to get to see him or other scary people and creatures was too big.

"So you're set on staying up no matter what?"

"Yep."

"And you want me to go? Really? In all honesty?

_'No. Too scared,'_ Chanyeol thought but he kept his true feelings to himself since Baekhyun shouldn't sacrifice anything just for his sake, his gaze focused on his Rilakkuma plushie when he told another lie despite being such a terrible liar.

"Mhhm. I- yes! You.. sure. Yes."

_'...yup, I'm way too obvious.'_

His reply sounded extremely shaky and way too high-pitched - probably because Chanyeol wasn't too different from a little kid that was scared of a terrifying monster that might be hiding right under its bed.

Just that said monster was no one else than himself.

Baekhyun was definitely going to see right through him.

Actually, he had called it before even.

No, Chanyeol didn't want to be alone.

But it was alright.

Baekhyun didn't have to play his babysitter.

Chanyeol could drown himself in energy drinks in order to make it through yet another gloomy night.

He was used to it anyway.

"Say that while looking me straight in the eye and I'll go," Baekhyun instructed, obviously because he could easily tell that Chanyeol hadn't meant what he just said.

If only he was better at pretending.

The exhausted teenager was stubborn enough to give it another try despite knowing it wouldn't go anywhere though so he gazed into Baekhyun's eyes, unable to say anything now that the two of them were looking at each other.

Baekhyun's once so hateful tone of voice wasn't the only thing that had changed ever since they got closer.

His eyes weren't cold any longer, too.

The opposite was the case.

Worry was visible inside them now, mixed with a weird kind of warmth that seemed to promise Chanyeol he would remain safe as long as they were together.

A warmth that wanted to protect him.

That would make sure he could be at ease again.

That could provide him with the comfort he needed so badly.

That didn't allow any lies.

_"No,"_ Chanyeol whispered before he could stop himself, his heart missing a beat because Baekhyun wrapped his arms around his body and hugged him so tightly that it almost made him believe nothing and no one could ever harm him again.

It made the presence of those positive and warm emotions overwhelmingly strong.

"Don't.. I.. gonna cry ... if.. if ya do.. that," he mumbled into Baekhyun's left shoulder, letting out a frustrated sigh since his eyes were already starting to water.

Again.

This was getting ridiculous.

"So? You once told me you often feel better after crying. And I'm not gonna make fun of you. Not gonna look either," Baekhyun promised, words that sounded oddly familiar and lead to more tears.

"Also. I'm not going to let go until you stop - and if that means I have to fucking hold you all fucking night long. I don't give a fuck, I'll freaking do it if it makes you feel better. You got that, bitch?!" he hissed now that Chanyeol was trembling in his arms.

"Why does that.. sound like a threat ..." said male snorted, lowkey amused by Baekhyun's typical aggressive choice of words even in such a situation.

"Because I suck at comforting so that's all you're going to get," Baekhyun huffed as he brushed his back. "Any complaints despite my unbelievable great service?"

Chanyeol shook his head, suddenly hoping his tears wouldn't stop coming anytime soon.

He didn't want him to let go.

It seemed like he could _fall asleep_ in Baekhyun's arms and nothing bad would happen to him.

What kind of magic was that?

"Nope... you're perfect."

"Now, now. Don't exaggerate."

_'I'm not,'_ Chanyeol thought, smiling to himself even though he was still crying _._

_'To me, you are.'_

 

 

 

 

 

 

* * *

「 _Friday, 25 December 2018_ 」

* * *

 

 

Baekhyun's alarm woke him up at exactly 06:50 am, the buzzing aggravating enough to make him groan after two seconds already.

 

Annoyed, he opened his eyes, searched for his phone, and turned off the alarm once he found it somewhere behind Chanyeol, careful not to disturb his sound asleep classmate with any of his movements.

Doing so turned out to be much easier than first thought even though Chanyeol was clinging to him like a koala, his face buried in his chest.

Normally, Baekhyun didn't mind waking up early, _enjoyed_ it even because most mornings had a special serene and calming atmosphere he would probably never get enough of.

It was only worth it when it wasn't pitch-black outside anymore and when he had gotten enough rest though.

This night, however, couldn't have been less relaxing.

Eventually, Chanyeol agreed to giving it a try thanks to Baekhyun's pleading but he couldn't fall asleep after they got ready for bed despite his worrying tiredness, tossing and turning until Baekhyun was fed up with it and hugged him with all his might once more.

The sleep his seatmate had fallen into shortly afterwards was restless and so fitful that he accidentally woke up Baekhyun every now and then, too.

No wonder that this guy was addicted to energy drinks and kept arriving late at school.

It only made sense.

_'But looks like everything's good now, huh?'_ Baekhyun thought and ran his fingers through Chanyeol's fluffy hair, a delighted smile on his lips as he ruffled it up. _'It's just.. we have a problem if any of that bullshit starts again once I'm gone.'_

He didn't have any choice though.

He _had_ to go.

Baekhyun would have loved to stay longer but he couldn't.

Chanyeol's bed was extremely comfy, he didn't mind their current closeness at all since the poor guy was sleeping peacefully at long last, and the light of the decorative stars attached to the window filled the room with a pleasant and warm brightness that suited Christmas perfectly.

However, his cozy surroundings couldn't change the fact that his parents would murder him if he wasn't standing outside at seven am.

"Fuck my life," Baekhyun muttered before wrapping his right hand around one of Chanyeol's wrists.

He tried to pull his arms away as gently as possible but his friend wasn't having any of it, making things more difficult than they should be by nuzzling his chest while hugging him tighter in his sleep.

"Ugh let go of me I don't have time for your cuteness," Baekhyun whined, gasping for air when Chanyeol squeezed him instead.

_'Help,'_ he thought and started squirming, finally managing to escape Chanyeol's strong grip without waking him up around a minute later.

"Cuddle monster," Baekhyun grumbled and crawled out of the bed to get out of harm's way - only to approach his now frowning classmate again right afterwards.

He was reminding him of an abandoned puppy.

Baekhyun didn't have the heart to leave him behind like that.

"No nightmares for you anymore," he whispered as he covered Chanyeol's body with the blanket that was about to fall to the floor, smirking triumphantly because the frown on the taller's face disappeared due to the little action.

"You hear me? And you better take good care of yourself while I'm gone, bitch."

Leaving without a proper goodbye didn't seem to be the correct decision but in the end, it was probably for the best even so.

Chanyeol should sleep more while he still could and saying goodbye to a person that mattered a lot always looked quite painful in movies.

Baekhyun could do without that heartbreaking sadness.

_'I'll be back soon anyway. No need to make this more dramatic than it is,'_ he thought to himself and nodded, leaving the room without making any noise.

Chanyeol, however, ruined his spontaneous plan to leave in silence when he stumbled into the hallway just when Baekhyun finished tying his shoelaces.

_'Welp. So much for that idea.'_

Whatever.

"Good morning, Sleeping Beauty!" Baekhyun chirped and stood up, snorting because Chanyeol's gaze was dazed even after he tried rubbing the sleep out of his eyes.

"You goin'?" the drowsy teenager slurred, his morning voice that was much deeper and raspier than usually catching Baekhyun off-guard.

Sure, Chanyeol definitely fell into the 'precious cinnamon roll' category but Baekhyun couldn't deny how smoking hot his husky voice was.

Especially in combination with that messy bed hair.

Some of his classmates would most likely faint if they ever got to see this alluring version of Chanyeol.

"Yep. I'm so fucking excited about this wonderful and wholesome family trip that I couldn't fucking wait any longer," Baekhyun stated with a shrug and reached for his jacket, stopping right in his tracks when he noticed how badly Chanyeol was shivering.

That maniac was only wearing a white t-shirt and black sweats despite forcing Baekhyun to put on one of his oversized hoodies _on top_ of his long-sleeved shirt for the night.

How dare he?

Without a second thought, Baekhyun took off the colorful pastel galaxy hoodie Chanyeol had lend him, helping his sleepy seatmate to put it on once he got rid of it.

And no - originally, he didn't plan to steal the hoodie that wasn't his style at all.

Definitely not.

... Okay, maybe he did, but it wasn't his fault that Chanyeol actually seemed to have forgotten about the black sweatshirt he had given him almost two months ago.

Of course Baekhyun would want to know if the same thing could happen again or if his classmate just didn't care much about that particular piece of clothing.

It was only natural. What kind of coldhearted bastard didn't enjoy drowning in huge ass hoodies that smelled like cotton candy?

"So warm," Chanyeol sighed happily after snuggling into the shirt, a content smile on his face. "But what 'bout you? Dun want ya to freeze ..."

"I won't," Baekhyun assured, finally putting on his jacket. "We have heated seats in the car so don't worry about me and go back to bed you little sleepyhead. Now."

"Without ya??"

The sudden panic inside Chanyeol's voice stunned Baekhyun.

He went from acting as if he didn't need anyone to look after him to being brutally honest in a matter of hours.

"Uhh, yes? Obviously. I can't be at two different places at the same time you know," Baekhyun said with furrowed brows and took a quick glance at his phone, grimacing because he barely had any time left. "Fuck. I have to go," he cursed and whirled around, unable to take the few steps left towards the entrance door because Chanyeol was holding onto the hem of his jacket.

_'Shit.'_

Quickly, Baekhyun turned his head towards his friend and gave him a strict look, trying to ignore the fear that was clearly sparkling in his almond eyes.

"Yeol, I'm serious. If I don't get going now they might not allow us to m-"

"But I dunwanna seehim'gain," Chanyeol muttered, his words so slurred that Baekhyun barely understood what he was talking about. "Not whenI'm alone... he's me but he's so scary ... n' mean.. n' aggressive... n'fullofblood," he complained and shuddered, clutching Baekhyun's jacket.

_'What the actual fuck?'_

Baekhyun pursed his lips upon hearing those disturbing words, the urge to be on time fading away slowly but surely.

"This is about your dream, right?"

"Mh.. he ... he tried tochokeme n' I think he made it causebothof u-"

"Let go of me."

Stubbornly, Chanyeol kept holding onto him until Baekhyun gave him a reassuring smile, blinking several times when the latter turned to face him instead of leaving.

His parents were definitely going to punish him for doing so.

Baekhyun didn't care any longer though.

This was more important.

"Forget what I said. Don't sleep more. You should try doing something that distracts you instead. But you have to promise to call me if something like that happens again during my absence. Even when it's late as hell or early as fuck. You got that?" Baekhyun asked, his eyes not leaving Chanyeol.

Thinking about how hard his seatmate was trying to function normally even though he constantly had to deal with such exhausting nights was making his blood boil.

"But that's too mu-"

"Yeol. Please," Baekhyun interrupted him calmly despite his rising anger and rested his hand on Chanyeol's left shoulder, squeezing it lightly. "Do I really have to remind you..? You didn't give a shit even though I kept telling you to stay the fuck away, too. Actually, you fucker didn't listen to me most of the damn time," he added, amused because Chanyeol looked away the very moment those words left his lips.

"And it took me quite a while to understand it but it's _good_ that you did your own thing and helped me out so allow me to do the same for you now. Don't push me away. Please."

His seatmate stayed silent, inspecting the blue tiles on the floor as if he was noticing them for the first time ever.

Yes, this _was_ more important but Baekhyun was going to be dead meat if he stayed just one minute longer.

He wouldn't be able to help Chanyeol anymore ever again then.

"Erm, I don't want to stress you out or so but my parents are probably going to yeet me out of the window the second I get into the car if I don't leave anytime soon. Just saying."

"... 'kay," Chanyeol finally replied and lifted his head again - just in time to see that his decision made Baekhyun beam.

"O..only if it's ... bad though. Like, really _really_ bad," he mumbled as he ran his fingers through his tousled hair. "Anyway.. yeah, you should go. Sorry for keepin' ya here. N' thank you Baek. Really."

"No need to. I didn't do anything big," Baekhyun stated, grabbed his bag, and opened the door, taking his sweet time even though he should be sprinting at this point.

Would Chanyeol really be okay..?

Could he leave for almost _twelve days_ without having to worry about him?

Why was the thought making his stomach turn?

"You _did."_

"Where's my thank you hug then?" Baekhyun asked without thinking and turned around yet again, surprising himself with the question that was unlike him.

Since when did he like hugs?

He used to _despise_ the uncomfortable kind of closeness they always lead to.

And he had to _go._

He was acting strange.

"Uh. You.. you'll be even more late i-"

"So?" Baekhyun cut Chanyeol off and raised his chin challengingly. "Did I miss something? Since when does Mr _'I'm always late for school'_ care so much about punctuality?"

"I don't. Your parents do," Chanyeol argued, a small pout on his lips.

"As you said, I'm already late anyway. One minute more or less doesn't make a big difference, does it?"

"Nope ..."

"So what you're waiting for?"

_'Seriously, why the fuck do I want this so badly?'_ Baekhyun asked himself, unable to think about it any longer because Chanyeol finally gave in and hugged him close to him.

Unlike leaving without a word, the tight hug had a positive effect on him.

It satisfied him - seemed to warm his heart even.

Yet another reason why the lyrics of the anime opening he sang for Chanyeol last night were describing his situation perfectly.

Most of his distant behaviour might have been an act to protect himself but it really used to snow in his heart not too long ago.

Even though he couldn't stand winter.

Now, everything around him was sunny and bright, filling him with pure happiness.

Like a hot summer day.

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> English lyrics for Fairy Tail's first Opening [Snow Fairy](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SC6s6ATi90s) (the second song Baek sang for Chan!) by [AmaLee](https://www.youtube.com/user/LeeandLie). The part he sang was from 2:33 until the end, in case that anyone wants to listen~
> 
> Yes, I'm alive, and I know I already apologized but let me do it again xnxxm I'm so freaking sorry for making you wait for so long（>﹏<）
> 
> The chapter has been ready for a while actually but my proofreader is quite busy at the moment and I'm not really the kind of person that is all like "biSh freaking read it for me already!!" you know sndmm but at the same time I also don't want to make you guys wait for too long of course... you feel me? :') That's why I decided to give you the version that isn't betaread in the end *really hopes there aren't too many mistakes* and I'm planning to make up for the long wait by giving you another chapter this month °^°
> 
> Let's also talk a bit about this one though!
> 
> First of all, I was NOT inspired by Obsession dndkkf.. I wrote this chapter in August so this happened looong before we got any information about an EXO comeback!
> 
> Meaning that SM was inspired by ME, obviously.
> 
> Duh.
> 
> I knew I wanted Chan to have a kinda disturbing dream in Baek's presence long before I started working on this chapter but at first, I had no idea what exactly said dream should be about.
> 
> I got the Chanyeol vs past Chanyeol idea randomly.. when I was pretty down and upset and I think it shows *cough*
> 
> The nightmare is probably way too detailed and long and quite violent but I really enjoyed writing that part so I hope it was interesting to read! It also kinda gave me the chance to indirectly involve bad things I've been through... and letting out ugly emotions by writing them down is always pretty helpful for me~
> 
> Also, I finally revealed a big secret related to Chanyeol's sister - well, more or less at least. I've been dropping little hints for a while but now, things should be more clear hopefully! You'll get the important details that are still missing soon as well.
> 
> I felt pretty bad for doing all these harmful things to Chanyeol sooo I decided to shower him with lots of fluff in the end jcvjvj I hope he forgives me-
> 
> *sees that Chanyeol is currently crying in Baekhyun's arms while Baekhyun is glaring at me as if he's planning to murder me for letting his snow fairy go through so much pain*
> 
> ...welp.
> 
> Uhm, there's some angst and pain involved in all the next chapters though.. lots of it even.
> 
> Oops.
> 
> I.. I'm, uhh-
> 
> *runs the hell away before Baek can kill me for real*


	11. Alone

 

_⌜ ~Baekhyun. ⌝ ⁰⁷ ²⁴_

_Bambi is Yeol's nickname for_

_his sister, right?_

_⌜ Jerk ⌝ ⁰⁸ ³⁶_

_Not even a 'Good morning' or_

_a 'Merry Christmas', eh? How_

_rude *clutches heart* you're_

_always only messaging me_

_when you need something!!_

 

Baekhyun pulled a face right after reading the reply he had been waiting for ever since he sent his text about an hour ago.

All for nothing.

Actually, he already knew the name _had_ to belong to Chanyeol's little sister - anything else wouldn't make much sense and Chanyeol had literally _told_ him he was always calling the girl 'Bambi' if he wasn't mistaken - but he was looking for assurance despite being fully aware of how irrational doing so was.

This was freaking important to him and yet stupid Jongdae was feeling the need to focus on trivial things instead of getting straight to the point.

He shouldn't have expected anything else from this jerk.

 

_⌜ ~Baekhyun. ⌝ ⁰⁸ ³⁶_

_So what? Stop being a_

_dramatic hoe and answer_

_the fucking_ _question._

 

The teenager stared at the screen in hope to get a quick reply but Chanyeol's idiot of a best friend obviously didn't have interest in answering anytime soon so Baekhyun gave up after a couple of minutes and took a look out of the window instead, admiring the snowy fir trees and the glittery snowflakes that were dancing in the cloudy sky.

Baekhyun couldn't care less about a white Christmas but he knew a winter person that would be crazy enough to run all the way to the forest their car was currently passing by just so that he could witness something magical like this as well.

Especially because it wasn't supposed to snow in Seoul today.

Luckily, Chanyeol didn't have to go so far.

Baekhyun leaned closer, took a couple of pictures of the pretty scenery from different angles, and sent the image he liked the most to his friend, followed by a short message.

 

_⌜_ _~Baekhyun. ⌝ ⁰⁸ ⁴⁰_

_Reminded me of you. Merry_

_Christmas Yeol ♡_

 

He switched to Jongdae's and his chat right afterwards, puffing up his cheeks since the airhead wasn't even online anymore.

Seriously now?

 

_⌜ ~Baekhyun. ⌝ ⁰⁸ ⁴¹_

_Bitch, you better move your_

_fucking ass back here and_

_reply before I lose my shit._

 

(Good for Jongdae that nothing along the way happened because Chanyeol had listened to Baekhyun and didn't go back to bed, distracting him instead.)

 

_⌜ Yeol ⌝ ⁰⁸ ⁴¹_

_(๑♡⌓♡๑)_

 

_⌜ Yeol ⌝ ⁰⁸ ⁴¹_

_*heavy breathing*_

 

_⌜ Yeol ⌝ ⁰⁸ ⁴¹_

_I want that-_

 

_⌜ Yeol ⌝ ⁰⁸ ⁴¹_

_Want want wwnant qantnq_

_ant qnt ‧º·( ˃̩̩⌂˂̩̩ )‧º·˚_

 

_⌜ Yeol ⌝ ⁰⁸ ⁴¹_

_MEEEERRY XMAAAS!!!_

_*ଘ(੭*ˊᵕˋ)੭* ੈ✩‧₊˚_

 

_⌜ Yeol ⌝ ⁰⁸ ⁴²_

_It's so freaking PRETTY_

_༼ಢ_ಢ༽_

 

_⌜ Yeol ⌝ ⁰⁸ ⁴²_

_Need that here aaaaah!!_

 

_⌜ Yeol ⌝ ⁰⁸ ⁴²_

_Badly (＠￣￢￣＠)_

 

_'Well damn,'_ Baekhyun thought upon seeing the many emoticons that were typical for his friend, laughing quietly to himself until he realized that his mom was glaring at him over the mirror.

For a moment, Chanyeol's messages had made him forget how angry his parents were.

The teenager rolled his eyes and switched to his favorite playlist filled with soothing and dreamy songs before snuggling into the blanket he brought along to make the five hour journey as comfortable as possible, trying to ignore the painfully obvious tension in the car.

So what if he hadn't been on time for once in his freaking life?

Christmas should be a happy and heartwarming occasion no matter what.

Besides, they weren't on their way to an important appointment.

This was literally just an irksome family trip.

There hadn't been any need to cause unnecessary drama.

 

_⌜ ~Baekhyun. ⌝ ⁰⁸ ⁴²_

_Dude, are you seriously_

_drooling over fucking_

_snow right now?_

 

Unlike Jongdae, Chanyeol didn't leave him hanging and replied immediately.

At least one person he could rely on.

 

_⌜ Yeol ⌝ ⁰⁸ ⁴²_

_What?? Σ(･口･)_

 

_⌜ Yeol ⌝ ⁰⁸ ⁴³_

_No!! Ofc not (ｰ ｰ;) it's_

_just an emoticon :I_

 

_⌜ Yeol ⌝ ⁰⁸ ⁴³_

_Do I look like a baby to_

_ya?? ( *｀з´)_

 

Baekhyun raised his brows in amusement and didn't hesitate to select another recent image from his gallery, adding the capture _'Yup'_ before sending it.

It showed Chanyeol sleeping surrounded by his plushies, his head resting on Baekhyun's tummy while the Christmas lights in the background were shining brightly.

He had taken the picture at around five am - when his seatmate had been asleep for more than half an hour without showing any kind of discomfort.

Getting Chanyeol to that point had been so bothersome and time-consuming that Baekhyun didn't believe his eyes at first and captured the moment to make sure he wasn't dreaming.

Who knew the picture would be perfect for proving his friend's cute childishness just a few hours later?

 

_⌜ Yeol ⌝ ⁰⁸ ⁴³_

_!!!!!_

 

_⌜ Yeol ⌝ ⁰⁸ ⁴³_

_KMGBWHATISHTGA??_

 

_⌜ Yeol ⌝ ⁰⁸ ⁴³_

_ΣΣΣ(ﾟ□ﾟ;)_

 

_'My new lockscreen,'_ Baekhyun lied once he figured out the meaning behind the chaotic second message, snickering since he received nothing but a confused _'Sbdhfjdnfkfnwhdy??!'_ as response.

This day's start had been horrible _and_ his parents had chewed him out but in the end, he might get to experience an enjoyable Christmas nevertheless.

Things could still become brighter.

 

_⌜ ~Baekhyun. ⌝ ⁰⁸ ⁴⁴_

_Why not? It's cute._

 

_⌜ Yeol ⌝ ⁰⁸ ⁴⁴_

_No yxxghcch_

 

_⌜ ~Baekhyun. ⌝ ⁰⁸ ⁴⁴_

_Yes_

 

_⌜ Yeol ⌝ ⁰⁸ ⁴⁴_

_Nooooo_

 

_⌜ ~Baekhyun. ⌝ ⁰⁸ ⁴⁴_

_Yes._

 

_⌜ Yeol ⌝ ⁰⁸ ⁴⁴_

_No!_

 

_⌜ ~Baekhyun. ⌝ ⁰⁸ ⁴⁴_

_Yes~_

 

_⌜ Yeol ⌝ ⁰⁸ ⁴⁴_

_Nope (╯‵□′)╯┴─┴_

 

_⌜ ~Baekhyun. ⌝ ⁰⁸ ⁴⁵_

_Nah_

 

_⌜ Yeol ⌝ ⁰⁸ ⁴⁵_

_YES!!_

 

_⌜ Yeol ⌝ ⁰⁸ ⁴⁵_

_Wait-_

 

Baekhyun covered his mouth to muffle his giggle without success, immediately receiving a disapproving glance from his driving dad.

He was so immersed in the conversation with Chanyeol that he didn't notice though.

 

_⌜ ~Baekhyun. ⌝ ⁰⁸ ⁴⁵_

_Lmao. You actually fell_

_for it... hilarious!_

 

_⌜ Yeol ⌝ ⁰⁸ ⁴⁵_

_(¬､¬)_

 

_⌜ Yeol ⌝ ⁰⁸ ⁴⁵_

_Fy._

 

_'Heh. It's almost as if you're **begging** me to tease you,' _Baekhyun thought and smirked evilly, set on fulfilling Chanyeol's secret wish.

 

_⌜ ~Baekhyun. ⌝ ⁰_ _⁸_ _⁴⁶_

_You think you can handle_

_me? Pff, don't get ahead_

_of yourself. I may not look_

_like it but I'm a crazy bitch_

_Yeollie ♡ Especially when_

_it comes to sex~ ;)_

 

_'Actually, I'm just a lonely ass virgin that hasn't even experienced its first fucking kiss yet but whatever,'_ Baekhyun thought as he yawned and rubbed his watery eyes, not surprised that the wakeful night was showing its first effects now already.

He had no idea how Chanyeol was still functioning despite failing to get enough sleep most of the time.

_'It should be obvious that I'm-'_

 

_⌜ Yeol ⌝ ⁰⁸ ⁴⁶_

_(⊙▂⊙)_

 

_⌜ Yeol ⌝ ⁰⁸ ⁴⁶_

_(⊙ ▂ ⊙)_

 

_⌜ Yeol ⌝ ⁰⁸ ⁴⁶_

_(⊙   ▂   ⊙)_

 

_'..just messing with him.'_

Oh God. Chanyeol had taken his playful words literally.

 

_⌜ ~Baekhyun. ⌝ ⁰⁸ ⁴⁶_

_That was a JOKE -.-_

 

_⌜ Yeol ⌝ ⁰⁸ ⁴⁷_

_U sure ...? ｜−・;）_

 

Baekhyun was already writing his reply, stopping in the middle of the sentence when he received the long awaited notification from Jongdae.

 

_⌜ Jerk ⌝ ⁰⁸ ⁴⁸_

_Ugh sorryyyy for the_

_delay, my mom called_

_me :/ But yesss, that's_

_his nickname for her!_

_Why are you asking?_

 

_'Crap. Why couldn't you just say no??'_

Why did the truth have to hurt most of the time?

Immediately, Baekhyun switched chats without finishing his message to Chanyeol, quick to answer said male's best friend instead.

 

_⌜ ~Baekhyun. ⌝ ⁰⁸ ⁴⁸_

_Because I have a_

_suspicion._

 

A suspicion he could think more about now.

Sadly.

He wasn't sure if he had understood Chanyeol correctly in his hurry and he might have missed some details but apparently, his seatmate's dream had included some kind of creepy guy - a person covered in blood that had tried to take his life.

Moreover, his friend had mumbled a couple of words in his sleep that could only be described as alarming.

_'Killer.'_

_'Gone.'_

_'All alone.'_

_'My fault.'_

And, of course...

_'Bambi.'_

His sister's nickname as Baekhyun just ensured.

He had heard that particular name so many times that it was definitely safe to assume Yoomi had played a big part in his nightmare, too.

There was no way that harmful dream had been about the famous deer from Disney after all.

No, Baekhyun had been able to tell this was serious the moment he saw the twisted expression on Chanyeol's face shortly after he had fallen asleep.

That killer had probably murdered his little sister, too.

Maybe even right in front of his eyes.

Now, dreaming messed up things about loved ones wasn't uncommon by any means of course, but ...

 

_⌜ Jerk ⌝ ⁰⁸ ⁴⁸_

_Oh ok! I'm all ears!!_

 

... a certain call had shown that there was even more behind Chanyeol's nightmare than first thought.

Baekhyun hadn't meant to eavesdrop though.

He really hadn't.

Someone who ran away and slammed the door shut behind them obviously wanted privacy - a wish that should be respected.

Chanyeol, however, had the extremely annoying tendency to act without thinking whenever he lost control over his emotions or didn't know how to handle certain situations, so Baekhyun had decided to stay close in order to make sure he couldn't do anything stupid again.

It wasn't his fault that the walls were so thin that one could probably hear a needle fall to the floor even when they were standing in a different room.

Okay, he hadn't been able to hear absolutely _everything._

The few suspicious details he had gotten to know were more than enough though.

In fact, they were the reason why he had been hoping for Jongdae to tell him the sweet nickname didn't have anything to do with Chanyeol's sister despite knowing how ridiculously idiotic said hope was deep inside.

Despite knowing Jongdae's confirmation combined with that phone conversation and Chanyeol's dream would most likely light up the path he needed to follow in order to find the missing puzzle piece.

The piece that should solve the mystery surrounding his seatmate.

The problem was that Baekhyun wasn't sure if he was ready to follow that path.

The secret that was expecting him at the end of it seemed to be extremely painful after all.

Probably because he had witnessed for the first time how much Chanyeol was actually suffering.

Baekhyun pursed his lips and closed his eyes, finally allowing himself to connect the dots despite the uneasiness in his tummy that was trying to stop him from thinking everything through.

Yoomi already sleeping when Chanyeol had called her was one of the first things that had puzzled him.

Sure, she was much younger than her brother, but not even _kids_ were supposed to sleep before midnight at a goddamn pajama party.

That was not how such parties usually looked like.

He knew it despite never getting the chance to make such an experience himself.

That little detail wasn't bothering Baekhyun as much as Chanyeol's made up reason to call her though.

He had asked her if she wanted him to bring games for today.

_'Bring'._

He might be overthinking but the question didn't make much sense to him.

It felt off.

Extremely off.

Chanyeol had told him he was going to celebrate Christmas together with his mom and sister _at home_  just a few hours before the call so why the hell should he _'bring'_ games..?

Why did he suddenly have to _'come over'_   instead?

All those details didn't fit together as they should, contradicting each other instead.

Maybe Baekhyun was making everything more complicated than it was because he read too many detective stories as a child.

Maybe he had misheard him or was failing to find an obvious logical explanation because of his tiredness.

Or he had underestimated Chanyeol, not realizing that he had fallen for some of his laughable lies.

His friend sucked big time at lying, yes, but even a rather obvious lie was more difficult to spot when the topic changed fast enough.

And a topic could be changed quickly without arising any suspiciousness as long as someone wasn't interested in it or rather wanted to talk about other things.

Now that he was thinking about it, he probably made it easier for his seatmate without noticing it.

Even worse.

Jongdae might have done the same since he couldn't possibly see every single little detail anymore now that Chanyeol was living so far away from him.

_'Fuck.'_

 

_⌜ ~Baekhyun. ⌝ ⁰⁸ ⁵⁰_

_Need to ask you another_

_question_ _first_

 

_⌜ ~Baekhyun. ⌝ ⁰⁸ ⁵⁰_

_Do you think it's weird I_

_haven't met her yet_

 

Baekhyun was disliking children and their infuriating behaviour so much that he used to be _glad_ that there hadn't been any chance for him to interact with a little girl that could easily be more hyper than Chanyeol so far.

Therefore, them always starting to talk about something different right after his friend let him know Yoomi wasn't at home had never seemed suspicious or strange to him.

Not until now at least.

At the moment, he couldn't let go of the strong feeling that she hadn't only played an important role in her brother's nightmare but was a just as significant character in real life.

That _she_ could be the missing puzzle piece Jongdae and him were looking for.

 

_⌜ Jerk ⌝ ⁰⁸ ⁵³_

_You haven't..? Huh, that's_

_strange. She's quite clingy_

_so she often tries tagging_

_along and always wants to_

_spend time with Chan even_

_when he has friends over..._

_It can be preeetty annoying_

_sometimes tbh but she's a_

_little cutie so it's difficult to_

_be mad at her^^ Surprised_

_to hear you haven't seen_

_each other yet. I assumed_

_she's annoying the hell out_

_of you whenever Chan and_

_you meet up lol. How unfair_

_that she's leaving you alone!_

 

_'That's the point, you fucking dumbass. Are you blind?? This almost sounds like she doesn't **want**  to basically ignore my entire existence but doesn't have any other choice,' _Baekhyun thought, his mouth twitching.

Apparently, they should have met more than a month ago.

Right when he visited Chanyeol for the first time or before they went to his birthday party maybe.

It sounded as if she should follow Chanyeol like a little duckling whenever they met up since he surely wouldn't have the heart to tell her to leave them alone every single time only to save him from having to deal with her.

If Baekhyun had a sibling, he wouldn't hesitate one second to yell at them if they were bothering him too much but he couldn't see Chanyeol doing or saying anything that might hurt Yoomi even when her behaviour was getting on his nerves.

Unlike him, Baekhyun would be a terrible older brother.

He might become a good detective though, considering that he seemed to be on the right track.

 

_⌜ ~Baekhyun. ⌝ ⁰⁸ ⁵³_

_Okay, when was the last_

_time YOU saw her then?_

 

_⌜ ~Baekhyun. ⌝ ⁰⁸ ⁵³_

_When you visited him a_

_few weeks ago? Would_

_only make sense if she's_

_really always by Yeol's_

_side no matter what. Or_

_was it before that, by any_

_chance? Do you happen_

_to remember it?_

 

_⌜ Jerk ⌝ ⁰⁸ ⁵⁴_

_... uhm_

 

Baekhyun started nibbling on his lower lip, the odd reply telling him he was combining the many small clues correctly indeed.

Sure, him not getting to know Chanyeol's sister yet could still be a coincidence, nothing more.

Maybe she simply had an incredibly active social life and he hadn't lied to him and they kept missing each other or something along the way.

But could he really still call it a mere _'coincidence'_ if not even Jongdae - Chanyeol's best friend who was basically an unofficial part of his family and definitely had a good relationship with her - had seen her recently..?

 

_⌜ Jerk ⌝ ⁰⁸ ⁵⁵_

_I bet she's just growing up_

_and realizing that it's time_

_to give Chan some more_

_space when he's with his_

_friends!!_

 

_'Yeah, right.'_

_'And I'm actually Santa Claus but I don't have any presents for you because you're a fucking dumbass who's trying to ignore the truth instead of revealing important information that could help us to figure out what the fuck's going on. Ho ho ho, bitch,'_ Baekhyun typed and scrunched up his nose, tapping impatiently on his black phone case while waiting for the text Jongdae was currently writing.

This guy was a the slowest texter Baekhyun had ever exchanged messages with.

Waiting for his replies was more maddening than waiting for the school bell to ring during a terribly boring lesson.

 

_⌜ Jerk ⌝ ⁰⁹ ⁰¹_

_Okay, okay... I didn't see her_

_once ever since they've been_

_living in Seoul. Well, I've visited_

_Chan two times only so far but_

_it's still weird. And he told me_

_she had a cold just when they_

_moved so I couldn't even say_

_bye to her ... Idek when I last_

_talked to her. Probably in like_

_.._ _._ _hmn. August or in July or_

_so? Dang, it's been a while._

_She keeps saying I'm also like_

_a big brother to her so that's_

_pretty strange, now that I'm_

_thinking about it.. especially_

_because Chan started to act_

_weird around that time, too._

_Shit, I_ _don't like this. Can't be_

_a good sign_

 

_'Bloody hell. Why can't I be wrong just for fucking once?'_ Baekhyun cursed quietly as he stared at the worrying words that said it all.

Chanyeol had managed to fool both of them.

He would have clapped for him and told him he was proud if this wasn't such a big issue.

 

_⌜ ~Baekhyun. ⌝ ⁰⁹ ⁰ _³_ _

_Hm, so the move was rushed_

_AND you didn't see her shortly_

_before NOR after that even_

_though it doesn't fit her usual_

_behaviour at all? I highkey_

_doubt she would like missing_

_out on getting to see you so_

_many times though._

 

_⌜ ~Baekhyun. ⌝ _⁰⁹ ⁰_ _⁴__

_That, him_ _starting to act strange_

_around_ _that time, none of us_

_getting_ _to see her fucking once_

_after_ _their suspicious af move,_

_his_ _dream last night, that call ..  
_

 

_⌜ ~Baekhyun. ⌝ _⁰⁹ ⁰_ _⁴__

_All of those things basically_

_prove that_ _'cold' back then was_

_a lie to cover up_ _something_

_much_ _bigger. And you probably_

_missed it because them moving_

_was out of the blue_ _for you and_

_you focused more on that. Guess_

_Yeol saw that coming and took_

_advantage of it. Smart move, tsk._

 

_⌜ Jerk ⌝ ⁰⁹ ⁰ _⁵__

_Wow. Damn... So the answer_

_has been right in front of us_

_the entire time? It's all related_

_to her and it took us this long_

_to find out??! Wtf?_

 

_⌜ ~Baekhyun. ⌝_ _⁰⁹ ⁰ _⁵_ _

_Bingo. Props to us - we're_

_fucking clowns._

 

The teenager heaved a sigh, anything but relieved even though they were finally starting to figure out what Chanyeol's was trying to hide so desperately.

It was only worrying him.

A lot.

And it made him hate this moronic trip that hindered him from keeping an eye on his friend even more than before.

 

_⌜ Jerk ⌝ ⁰⁹ ⁰⁸_

_Why didn't I notice this earlier_

_ugh I'm such an idiot!! I was so  
_

_set on finding out the reason_

_for the move but I did NOT see_

_something this obvious? How?!_

_And I_ _still don't get wtf is going_

_on?? What's happening with_

_her and why is he so set on_

_keeping quiet? I mean, okay,_

_I think I can actually answer_

_the last question myself but_

_that doesn't change how_

_ridiculous this is. I really don't_

_understand him sometimes._

 

_'You're not alone,'_ Baekhyun thought to himself, wishing he could escape the goddamn car and go straight back to Seoul when he got two new notifications from Chanyeol that were extremely difficult to decipher.

He had been wrong.

No joyful Christmas for him this year.

This day was only getting worse and worse.

 

_⌜ Yeol ⌝ ⁰⁹ ⁰⁹_

_Ofttopcibbht I' tired af.. R u_

_tiref too? Sorru if that's the_

_cad3.. ubhelpde me a mot_

_thknsk so thankf.. wush u_

_werw_ _hete.. tko scFed to_

_dletp alone thv ughjnjk_

 

_⌜ Yeol ⌝ ⁰⁹ ⁰⁹_

_Waj so naby lyos (ノ﹏ヽ)_

 

Baekhyun would do it again.

He would head to his classmate's place without wasting any time and try to help Chanyeol once more even though last night had been terribly exhausting.

If only someone gave him the chance to be there for him.

 

_⌜ Jerk ⌝ ⁰⁹ ¹⁰_

_Fuck this. I'm going to_

_confront Chan. I'm sick_

_of his silence and lies._

 

Baekhyun narrowed his eyes after reading those alarming words, quick to answer.

_'And **I'm** going to cut you if you do that anytime soon you fucking jackass,' _he typed and pressed send, not giving two shits about the aggressive tone of that text but continuing to write before Jongdae could turn his dangerous plan into reality.

 

_⌜ ~Baekhyun. ⌝ ⁰⁹_ _¹⁰_

_He doesn't need that kind_

_of stress at the moment_

_and this isn't something_

_you can just force him to_

_talk about._

 

_⌜ ~Baekhyun. ⌝_ _⁰⁹ ¹¹_

_In case that you haven't_

_noticed yet, he isn't ready_

_-.- give it some more time,_

_idiot._

 

_⌜ Jerk ⌝ ⁰⁹ ¹¹_

_Dang. Cutting me? Pretty_

_sure that's illegal_ _Baeks_

 

The teenager grimaced upon reading the idiotic nickname Jongdae started using a while ago, annoyed enough to change his contact name to _'Huge jerk'_ before replying.

 

_⌜ ~Baekhyun. ⌝ ⁰⁹ ¹²_

_You think that would stop_

_me...?_

 

_⌜ ~Baekhyun. ⌝_ _⁰⁹ ¹²_

_Haha. Adorable :)_

 

 

 

 

* * *

「 _Friday, 1 January 2019_ 」

* * *

 

Half asleep and terribly irritated, Baekhyun tried to find his phone that was vibrating quietly but seemed to have turned invisible, the so far unsuccessful search so exasperating that burning hot anger started to rush through his veins in a matter of seconds.

It was still dark outside and he was on fucking winter break.

Besides, it should be _New Year's Day_ if his cloudy memory wasn't fooling him.

He shouldn't be awake.

He should be _sleeping like a **baby.**_

_'Oh my fucking **God** fucking finally now __shut the fuck up and let me fucking sleep you fucking bitch,'_ the drowsy yet extremely angry teenager thought the moment he found his phone under his blanket near his feet, the screen so bright that he had to squint now that he was holding the buzzing device in his right hand.

He simply wanted to turn off the barely audible but immensely irritating alarm he didn't remember setting and go back to sleep.

However, it wasn't any alarm that shouldn't exist in the first place that had woken him up shortly after he went to bed.

No.

Chanyeol was calling him.

_'...fuck.'_

Change of plans.

_Immediate_ change of plans.

Quickly, the now fully awake teenager grabbed his blanket, got up, and rushed out of the guest room he had to share with his parents because his family couldn't care less about the privacy he was yearning for, accepting the call on his way to the living room since he didn't want to keep Chanyeol waiting any longer than needed.

"Yeol?" Baekhyun whispered as he walked and closed the door with his left foot once he was standing inside the dark room, glad that most of his family members were heavy sleepers whereas the tiniest noises could disrupt him already.

Never before had he been thankful for always waking up so easily though.

Usually, it only annoyed the hell out of him.

The first thing Baekhyun heard was a muffled sniffle, a pained little noise that increased his fear that something terrible must have happened.

After all, Chanyeol had told him he would only call at such ungodly hours in case that things were _'really really bad'_ , his choice of words alongside with his hesitation proving once more that he wasn't planning to actually bother him or anyone else with his problems.

Therefore, Baekhyun wouldn't have been surprised if he didn't get any call like this one during his absence.

Chanyeol was still refusing to talk about what was going on so he almost expected it.

"Are you okay?" Baekhyun asked after a couple of moments even though he could already tell absolutely nothing was _'okay'_ , groaning and covering his eyes after turning on the harmful lights.

He sat down on the uncomfortable couch that had an outmoded and incredibly ugly floral pattern once they adjusted to the brightness, wrapping the white blanket around his shivering body while waiting for Chanyeol to say something.

Anything.

But he didn't even give him one single word.

Baekhyun would think this was an accidental call if it wasn't for the constant quiet sniffles that made him want to punch the living hell out of whatever was causing Chanyeol so much pain.

"Come on ... talk to me Yeol," he tried once more, the fact that he couldn't be anywhere near his seatmate when he needed someone so badly making his blood boil even more.

Usually, Baekhyun was anything but a helpful person whenever he witnessed someone crying (something that used to happen once in a blue moon until he got closer to Chanyeol).

He never knew what to do or say to improve the situation.

Hugs, however, were a great way to make up for that little flaw as long as it was Chanyeol and no one else who received said hugs and as long as he wasn't several hours away from him.

This time, he couldn't rely on their soothing effect.

"Please?"

"You.. you're ... you- you picked up..!" Chanyeol finally managed to bring out, a hoarse and wavery statement that tugged at Baekhyun's heartstrings because it sounded as if he was on the verge of breaking down completely but tried his best to talk normally even so.

It might be this imagination only but it seemed like his seatmate hadn't expected him to answer the call.

"I.. you're .. there ..."

"Of course I am," Baekhyun uttered, his voice soft despite his vexation about the current situation. "Why would I tell you to call me when something's wrong just to leave you hanging once you do? That would be pretty damn shitty of me, don't you think?"

"No.. you.. you shouldn't ... so..rry," Chanyeol apologized with lots of effort, taking several shaky breaths before continuing to talk.

"It's.. I- I'm .. I woke ya up ... didn't I.."

_'Better than keeping me in the dark,'_ Baekhyun thought to himself, his expression hardening since he had no idea how to calm down the upset male with words alone.

He wasn't going to admit it but he hadn't thought it through when he offered Chanyeol to contact him during difficult times.

He simply wanted to help.

Now, however, he had no idea how to do so.

"Mh. You did. Doesn't matter though," Baekhyun made clear before he could start beating himself up for being such an useless friend, trying to concentrate on Chanyeol's current problem instead.

"It's nothing you have to be sorry for."

Obviously, he would have been pissed for the rest of the day if it was actually an unnecessary alarm that woke him up but this was a completely different case.

And in this very moment, Chanyeol's well-being had top priority.

"But.. 's late... shouldn't ha-"

"I mean it. It's fine," Baekhyun assured as he leaned back and snuggled into the warm blanket, his gaze set on his grandparents' wooden cuckoo clock that was older than him.

It was long past five am.

He wouldn't describe that time as _'late'_ anymore.

_'Too fucking early'_ , however, worked perfectly.

"I rather have you waking me up than you dealing with bad stuff all on your own so don't worry about that and tell me what's going on instead."

"It's stupid," Chanyeol claimed after heaving a long sigh. "N' childish .. think... I.. I should hang up n' you should pretend th-"

"Forget it," Baekhyun cut him off and jutted out his chin, his tone strict. "I know you wouldn't have called me if it wasn't serious so don't even _try_ to convince me otherwise. Besides, I can't act as if nothing happened and go back to sleep when you're feeling like a burnt sparkler that was thrown away," he pointed out while rubbing his temples and closed his eyes.

Okay, maybe he wasn't as awake as first thought - Baekhyun went to bed at around four am after all.

That didn't mean he would let Chanyeol have his way though.

Hell no.

"I might be awful at comforting but I'm going to listen to whatever you've got to say and wouldn't downplay your feelings or so. And while we're at it.. you shouldn't do that either. It's unhealthy as fuck."

Baekhyun kept his tired eyes closed, only opening them when Chanyeol started talking again.

"Was just a bad dream .. nothing big," he mumbled, a short explanation that did the exact opposite of what Baekhyun had asked for.

The audacity.

" _'Nothing big'_..?" he repeated, a frown on his face. "That's absolute fucking bullshit and you know it. It made you _cry_."

"So what? Everything makes me cry."

"Yeol."

" _Ugh. ... .. ..._ 'kay.. ... I'll tell ya," Chanyeol finally gave in and sighed.

"Please."

"So- uh. Basically... hmn. that dream. It.. it kinda ... scared the shit outta me .. n' made me feel- dunno man. Like, don't think I was sleepin' any longer but didn't really feel awake either.. n' at some point, everything was kinda ... fuzzy or so? ... .. as if I was somewhere .. else. Meh, can't really describe it. Just felt hella off. Have that every now and then n' I hate it cause it sucks big time."

_'Agreed,'_ Baekhyun thought, not liking the direction this conversation was going to.

He had experienced quite similar feelings more than once already - sometimes simply because he had to study until his brain seemed to have melted like ice cream on a hot summer day.

It had also happened while hiding from his maniac schoolmates and after surviving painful days that made him shudder whenever he allowed himself to think about them though.

It was like forcing oneself to function normally despite having barely any battery left thanks to life always behaving like a gigantic and cold-hearted bitch that loved to see people suffer.

And someone who didn't even get _close_ to enough sleep on a nightly basis most likely had to manage with not even ten percentage of battery all the time.

"N' I kinda feel like throwing up n' my head hurt like shit. It's like- throbbing. As if someone's tryin' to drill a hole inside it or so," Chanyeol grumbled. "But that's not why I cried .. ... I mean, guess you could say it's kinda related to my dream but that... that was more.. more cause ... .. uh."

One second of silence.

Two.

Three.

Four.

His seatmate was making this so much harder than it should be.

"Oh my fucking God just say it already please," Baekhyun begged impatiently, fidgeting because he was dying to know the reason despite being scared of it at the same time.

Would Chanyeol open up?

Tell him something that would help Jongdae and him to solve the mystery behind his little sister completely?

"... cause you didn't pick up," Chanyeol finally muttered - so quietly that it was difficult to understand.

Almost as if he was too ashamed of saying it out loud.

Baekhyun stopped moving around immediately, unable to say something since those words couldn't have been further away from his expectations.

_'Hold the fuck up.'_

He ...

_He_ was the reason for those tears and sniffles that have ignited little but dangerous flames made out of pure anger inside him?

"What?"

"I .. I just... I got scared," Chanyeol admitted hesitantly and let out a harsh breath. "I know it's not real but I keep.. keep seein' .. _that_ ... in my head," he continued, the way he was beating around the bush instead of retelling his dream making Baekhyun wonder if this particular nightmare had been worse than the one Chanyeol had last week.

Didn't he say his dreams were rarely extreme enough to affect him to such an extent though?

Or was that another lie Baekhyun had managed to miss somehow?

"As.. as if it could turn into reality any second ... but I was alone in that dream.. so I thought- I thought if I'm not.. not alone.. I could prevent it maybe... but you didn't pick up s-"

"And yet you wanted us to stop talking?? Are you fucking _kidding_ me right now Yeol?!" Baekhyun hissed, words that sounded much harsher than intended.

"Don't get at mad at me please ..."

The agony of Chanyeol's whispered appeal was so distinct that it erased the burning rage inside Baekhyun in a heartbeat.

What the hell was he doing?

He was supposed to _help_ Chanyeol. He shouldn't make things worse.

"Sorry," Baekhyun apologized immediately, burying his face in his left palm. "I'm not mad at you. I can't fucking stand how you're dealing with bigger problems but I'm not mad."

"Pinky promise..?"

_'I **am** a heartless jerk though,'_ the teenager thought upon hearing Chanyeol's trembling voice and sighed, raising his head again.

"Pinky promise. Also. Usually, fucking everything wakes me up but the fucking blanket muffled my phone so I didn't hear the buzzing right away," Baekhyun explained with an eyeroll. "And it took me a while to accept your call because I couldn't find that bitch, too. I didn't mean to make you wait or cry. Really not."

In fact, he had tried to be as fast as possible.

He wanted to prevent unpleasant situations like this one after all - wanted to show Chanyeol that he could rely on him.

Next time, Baekhyun would make sure to put his phone on the damn nightstand before going to bed instead of playing horrendous mobile games until he couldn't keep his eyes open any longer.

Something like this wasn't going go happen ever again.

"'s fine.. got that thought as well at some point. Should've guessed it right away though. I'm just slow," Chanyeol mumbled. "N' don't get me wrong, that wasn't really your fault.. not at all. Would say it's the situation in general..? Like, I'm kinda freakin' out .. or overreacting or so.. so dun blame yourself please."

_'Easier said than done when you're telling me such things,'_ Baekhyun thought, trying to do as told even so.

He should get himself together.

This wasn't about him after all.

"Hmmph. Think I woke ya up for nothing though. It's still there," Chanyeol suddenly informed him, confusing words that gave Baekhyun the chance to snap out of it again.

"Not stoppin'."

"What are you talking about?"

"The blood.."

Baekhyun sat up straight in an eyeblink, his muscles tensing.

"What?? You're bleeding?!"

"No! The blood from my _dream_ ," Chanyeol clarified before Baekhyun could freak out, unable to extinguish the smaller's tension as easily as he had let it appear despite the relieving piece of information.

"Thought it'll leave me be when I'm not alone anymore but I can still see it .. even without closing my eyes..."

"Like, a puddle on the floor?" Baekhyun asked, frowning because he didn't forget that blood had been involved in Chanyeol's nightmare last week as well.

A mere coincidence or information he should keep in mind?

"Yep. A huge one. But it's also running down the walls... lots of it.." Chanyeol explained, details that sounded even more disturbing than to begin with because it seemed like his nightmare had messed with him up to a point where he wasn't able to differentiate between reality and imagination any longer.

"Don't- if.. if I'm gonnadrown in it'gain I'll g-"

"You're not going to!!" Baekhyun interrupted him with the hope that he could diminish Chanyeol's sudden panic, trying his best to hide that he was starting to lose his nerve, too.

Drowning in blood...?

The more alarming aspects of Chanyeol's scary dream he got to know, the more difficult it became to remain calm.

"I'll pinky promise you that as well if it helps," Baekhyun declared, too set on helping his friend in some kind of way at least to let his concern take over control.

"You shouldn't promise stuff you can't keep ..."

_'I swear to God. How fucking vivid are his dreams?'_ Baekhyun wondered as he chewed on his bottom lip, a question he was asking himself quite often ever since he had seen the pure fear in Chanyeol's eyes that night.

"I know."

"Why are ya doin' it then?"

"I'm no- oh." Baekhyun stopped abruptly when a thought crossed his mind, narrowing his eyes.

"Hey, kinda random but did you turn on the lights after waking up or are you still in the dark?"

Maybe, Chanyeol didn't want to believe him because-

"You think I'm gonna leave my bed when there's blood all around me?! I'm not _that_ insane!!"

Baekhyun bit into his lower lip, not surprised by any means.

The darkness was making things worse, allowing Chanyeol's imagination to run wild.

He had to get rid of it.

As quickly as possible.

"It's not _actually_ there. You still know it's not real ... don't you?" Baekhyun asked while drawing invisible circles on the blanket, trying to calm down himself to make sure that Chanyeol couldn't notice that the current happenings weren't easy for him either.

"It's- for you, it probably only seems to be real because you're surrounded by darkness ... so I'm sure you'll stop seeing all that creepy stuff after getting up and turning on the lights."

_'I mean, I hope so at least. I really do.'_

It _had_ to work out.

He wouldn't know what to do if this didn't make anything better.

"But I'm scared," Chanyeol admitted quietly just when Baekhyun was about to ask if he could still hear him since he hadn't received any response yet.

"Know it's dumb n' childish n' ridiculous bu-"

"It's _not_ ," Baekhyun denied before his seatmate could use any more negative words that played down the problem. "None of those things are true. Being scared is totally fine and normal. Especially after such a disturbing dream. If I were you I would be scared shitless, too."

He didn't have any problems with blood at all but being trapped in a room full of the dark liquid couldn't be described as an enjoyable experience no matter what.

"F'real?" Chanyeol asked, his voice dripping with scepticism.

"Yes. But I think ... no, I _know_ I wouldn't let that stop me," Baekhyun continued because he would never forget how satisfying and heavenly _good_ it had felt to overcome his fear of a certain bully that used to frighten him to death. "Allowing your fears to have that much power over you only makes things worse. Trust me."

"I _do_ trust you but I ... .."

"We could do it together?" Baekhyun suggested a few moments after Chanyeol trailed off, smiling to himself since his seatmate only gave him a confused "Huh? How??" in response.

He might dislike phone calls in all their various ways but he should have gotten this idea much earlier.

"Hold on."

With that, Baekhyun brought his phone close to his face, fixing his bed hair with his free hand before tapping on the round video call button in the upper left corner.

As expected, nothing but darkness greeted him once Chanyeol switched, too.

(Well, he could also see his grandparents' old-fashioned couch and his own pale face of course but Baekhyun had to concentrate on more important things than on his poor appearance right now.)

"Look at me while walking towards the light switch. Don't pay any attention to the floor, the walls, or the ceiling. Just focus on me," the teenager instructed, quick to add a "Ah, but be careful please!! Don't want you to trip over any clothes, bags, or plushies while you're on your way."

"You're doin' too much 'gain," Chanyeol mumbled more to himself than to Baekhyun.

_'Good joke,'_ said male thought, almost laughing out loud upon hearing the statement that couldn't be more wrong.

If Chanyeol had called Jongdae instead of him, he would most likely already be back in dreamland by now - with the difference that he was surrounded by things and people that made him _happy_ and not by a terrifyingly huge amount of blood.

"Not at all. I just want you to feel better so go ahead and get out of your bed okay?"

"'Mh... kay," Chanyeol agreed, the rustling of the blanket Baekhyun could make out somewhere in the distance proving that he was leaving his warm safe place indeed.

"N' thank you by the way.."

"No need to."

_'This better doesn't go wrong though,'_ Baekhyun thought and crossed his fingers, giving the camera an encouraging smile since he knew that Chanyeol had his gaze on him even without seeing him.

"Everything good so far?"

"Uhh... I.. I think it is ..?" Chanyeol confirmed hesitantly, much to Baekhyun's relief. "But my room's an effin' mess, ugh. Probably gonna trip over something f'real in the end," he groaned.

However, the pitch-black darkness on Baekhyun's screen faded away just when he wanted to tell Chanyeol to turn on his phone's flashlight, making place for his squinting seatmate instead.

Unsurprisingly, Chanyeol's eyes were puffy, the circles underneath them so dark that Baekhyun couldn't help wondering if he had gotten any sleep _at_ _all_ the last few nights.

He wasn't sure if he actually _wanted_ to hear the answer to that silent question so he didn't bother asking.

"Did it help?"

Timidly, Chanyeol started to look around the room with pursed lips, nodding when their gazes met again.

He had a scowl on his face even though he just confirmed that the terrifying images his mind had come up with weren't bothering him any longer.

He seemed to be concerningly exhausted and annoyed at the same time.

Baekhyun could understand why.

"Say.. when you told me your dreams are rarely this bad ... was that a lie?" he asked carefully, his eyes not leaving his friend who was still standing in front of his widely opened door.

Almost as if Chanyeol was making sure he could get out of his room as quickly as humanly possible in case he had to escape another kind of harmful danger anytime soon.

"Nope. It'd be a lie if I said that now but I meant what I told ya that night."

"Hmm. I see," Baekhyun hummed with a frown on his face, nodding to himself. "So it's getting worse, huh. Don't quite understand why though. There must be a reason, right? Can you think of something? Anything?"

He could only hope that whatever was going on with Yoomi hadn't become more serious.

That would be a perfect explanation he didn't want to be true.

"Uhh.. I ... yeah.. have a.. suspicion ... but I'm sure you're not gonna like it. Pretty damn sure," Chanyeol revealed, glancing nervously at his camera only to look away the very next moment.

"Tell me," Baekhyun demanded impatiently, deciding to ignore the disheartening warning.

He had to know what was going on.

He just had to.

Even if the reality hurt.

Chanyeol heaved a sigh and approached his bed instead of answering, the cluttered desk Baekhyun could spot in the background making him wonder how his friend could find anything in the seemingly endless chaos.

The teenager felt like gagging upon realizing how many most likely empty energy drink cans were scattered all over the desk.

To think that Chanyeol was providing his body with that unhealthy stuff out of free will ...

"There."

Baekhyun tilted his head to the side and raised his eyebrows now that his seatmate was showing him a little purple colored bottle from a brand called 'zZZleepy' that was decorated with tiny stars and a white moon.

His stomach dropped after he read the first sentence written on the label.

_'Say goodbye to restless nights!'_

He didn't need to see anything more to be able to tell where this was going.

And yes, Chanyeol was right.

He didn't like this.

Actually, Baekhyun _hated_ it.

He balled his left fist, continuing to read despite the anger that was starting to build up somewhere deep inside him again - the beginning of a powerful feeling he might not be able to repress if it grew too strong.

_'Calm your body and mind*'_

_'Non-habit forming*'_

_'100% safe!*'_

Yeah, right.

Companies that claimed utmost bullshit like that shouldn't be trusted.

Those sleeping pills and the cutely designed container they were stored in might appear harmless and it was proven that this kind of stuff _could_ help indeed but the risks tied to the medication weren't a joking matter.

This was why Baekhyun had told Chanyeol to stay away from sleeping pills despite their seemingly irresistible temptations a couple of days ago.

Why he had suggested him to try out the huge variety of soothing asmr videos on youtube instead since they worked like medicine for himself whenever he had troubles with falling asleep.

He had also recommended tons of calming songs he loved listening to while lying in bed at night, told him to try getting into a regular sleep cycle, to reduce the amount of caffeine he was currently consuming ...

And what did Chanyeol do?

Thanking him thousands of times only to bag up his advice so that he could dump it in the trash not even one week later.

How thoughtful of him.

Baekhyun was still staring at the bottle in Chanyeol's hand more than a minute later, an unreadable expression on his face that didn't even change when his friend tossed the medication on his bed and looked at him like a puppy that dirtied the couch with its muddy paws but was hoping not to get scolded nevertheless.

Baekhyun glanced up at the wooden celing and took a deep breath, closing his eyes.

He shouldn't lash out at Chanyeol.

Not after everything he had been through this night.

"Uhh .. I ... they.. they helped - at first," Chanyeol broke the tensed silence, stuttering while doing so. "But now it's.. it .. it's as if everything's even worse... n' this night was kinda.. like, it was ... _ouch_..."

_'Oh really? Didn't even notice,'_ Baekhyun thought sarcastically, the right corner of his mouth twitching. _'I wonder why! It's almost as if sleeping pills have tons of side effects and aren't a long term solu...tion ..'_

He blinked when his gaze found the sparkly party hats on the desk in front of him, his heart missing a beat thanks to the reminder of today's date.

How come the reason for Chanyeol's sleeping problem was becoming uglier and more dangerous the more details Baekhyun got to know?

"Didn't you drink alcohol earlier," he growled because he couldn't get the image of the strawberry cocktail his classmate had sent him shortly before the new year began out of his head anymore.

A question that sounded more like a statement.

His voice was so low and intimidating that Chanyeol gulped noticeably.

"I.. uhm, yes? A lil' bit... but what, eh- what ... what does that have to do with anything..?"

_'Oh my **fucking** God,' _Baekhyun thought upon hearing the puzzled reply that confirmed what he was suspecting, the rage he had been supposed to hold back exploding with a noisy bang instead.

"Alcohol in combination with sleeping pills can fucking **kill** , you fucking _moron_ ," he hissed, unable to stop himself from insulting his seatmate.

So much for not lashing out.

Baekhyun wasn't the one to blame here though.

Apparently, Chanyeol hadn't even read the fucking instructions nor the safety information.

He should be glad that the consequences of his brainless actions had been comparably mild.

"It- what??"

His seatmate stared at him with huge eyes and parted lips, his strong reaction proving how clueless and terribly reckless he was.

Unbelievable.

"Death if you're extremely unlucky. Increased risk of overdosing or developing an addiction to sleeping pills," Baekhyun started to enumerate the various side effects he didn't forget ever since he had researched them for a school presentation about commonly used medications and their potential dangers last spring.

"Nausea. Vomiting. Lowered blood pressure. Disorientation. Sleep of bad quality... want me to continue or did you have enough?"

Judging from the pure shock that was still clearly visible in Chanyeol's face he was starting to grasp the seriousness of the issue.

"I .. I didn't ... had no idea .."

"Makes sense!" Baekhyun chirped, a wide fake smile on his lips. "Reading the instructions that would have informed you about such important risks can be so _awfully_ burdensome and _difficult_ after all ... no wonder that you didn't do it! It's not like they exist for a reason or so!!"

"I _did_ read them!! I mean- most of 'em at least ...!" Chanyeol made clear, wincing at the death glare Baekhyun gave him in response to those words. "Crap, listen!! I know that wasn't really smart of me bu-"

"More like 'thoughtless and one of the dumbest things you've ever done'," Baekhyun corrected bitterly.

"There was barely any alcohol in that drink, I swear!" Chanyeol guaranteed, messing up his hair in frustration. "Yeah, I _should've_ read everything before startin' to use 'em but this is like the third night in a row I hadsuch a freaky dream n' I didn't drink on anyof those otherdaysso the dream earlier doesn't automatically have to be related tothat stupid cocktail! It's most likely just some shitty side effect without any deeper meaning behind it or so!"

Baekhyun couldn't tell if Chanyeol was right or wrong. He didn't have enough knowledge about every single aspect related to this issue to be able to decide.

Not even the tiniest amount of alcohol should be mixed with sleeping pills _and_ they tended to have unpleasant side effects even when used _correctly_ though, he could say that much.

Chanyeol just told him that he had been struggling with nightmares worse than the ones he used to have before shortly after starting to take those goddamn pills, too, but he wasn't getting rid of them anyway, continuing to use them instead.

And yet he dared to claim he wasn't _'that'_ insane a few minutes ago?

Baekhyun begged to differ.

"Why the hell would you still take that crap then?!"

"Cause I'm fucking _tire_ _d!!_ _"_ Chanyeol blurted out and glowered at him, the suspicious glimmer in his eyes making Baekhyun realize that he should take a step back and get his harmful wrath under control before his seatmate could burst into tears once more.

Baekhyun wouldn't be able to forgive himself if that happened.

One time was bad enough.

"But you can see what it's doing to you ... can't you..?" he asked therefore - unlike before, in a careful and quiet way, making sure to sound as gentle as possible.

"It's only making it worse. This isn't the right way, Yeol."

"Fucking _everything_ seems to be the wrong way," Chanyeol snorted as he wiped over his watery eyes. "Should've drowned f'real. Wouldn't have to deal with all this bullshit anymore then," he grumbled and gave Baekhyun a hopeless look, the agony in his strong gaze just as heartbreaking as his words full of pain.

"Hey, don't say stuff like that ..."

Baekhyun wanted to tell him so much more but he couldn't think of anything that would have been more helpful than the little plea, only staring back silently instead.

He wasn't of any use.

"My head's full of such things right now so I'm gonna hang up," Chanyeol declared, his wavery voice in combination with the concerning information interrupting Baekhyun's negative thoughts immediately.

"Need some alone time. Sorry for keepin' ya for so long n' thanks again."

_'What?'_

Baekhyun frowned, the change of the situation so abrupt that it took him a moment to understand what was happening.

Chanyeol wanted to be.. alone?

Alone time was probably the _last_ thing he needed right now and yet he was planning to hang up??

"Wai-"

"Bye," Chanyeol uttered hurriedly and ended the call before Baekhyun could stop him, not picking up again even though he tried contacting him right after recovering from the little shock.

In fact, Baekhyun got to hear one single ring only, the typical recorded voice telling him that Chanyeol wasn't answering.

Usually, his seatmate was always replying right away.

He was reachable even during _work_ but he declined Baekhyun's call without batting an eyelid just now - something he had never done before.

This was how serious he was about wanting to be left alone.

Baekhyun placed his phone on his lap and stared at his reflection in the black screen, the thought of his seatmate spending the rest of the morning with forcing himself to remain awake yet again making his heart ache.

_'I'm so fucking useless,'_ he thought, his shoulders sagging.

_'He did tons of things for me and I can't even give him half of that back.'_

Pathetic.

Chanyeol deserved better.

With a deep sigh, Baekhyun unlocked his phone and opened their chat, his thumb hovering over the keyboard since he had no idea what to type.

Not like it mattered.

He had a strong feeling Chanyeol wasn't going to read this message anytime soon.

Witing it took him more than five minutes.

 

_⌜ ~Baekhyun. ⌝ ⁰⁵ ⁵⁸_

_Please don't do anything_

_that could harm you.._

 

_'Please.'_

 

 

 

 

* * *

「 _Tuesday, 5 January 2019_ 」

* * *

 

"The person you have called isn't answering. Please try again later," the vexing robotic voice informed Baekhyun for the nth time, its pointless words allowing the urge to throw his phone into the huge pile of snow to his left to grow so terribly strong that he had his struggles with suppressing it.

Somehow, Baekhyun's rationality won in the end so he opened Chanyeol's and his chat instead, his fingers numb from the cold that made him shudder every now and then.

He thought New Year's Day had been distressing but back then, Chanyeol texted him around three hours after receiving his worried message and they started talking as if nothing bad had ever happened shortly afterwards.

Things had been perfectly fine again in no time.

He couldn't say the same about today though - in fact, Baekhyun hadn't heard anything from Chanyeol ever since _yesterday morning._

It had been more than _24 hours._

This wasn't normal.

It was, however, a great reason to freak out.

The teenager leaned against the wall of the entrance door to the apartment complex Chanyeol was living in and drew in a long breath, still freezing his butt off because no one had let him in so far even though the two of them had planned to meet up one and a half hours ago.

Baekhyun had rang the bell often enough to know the apartment that belonged to the Parks was currently empty.

Chanyeol's family was way too kind to simply ignore him in case that someone was actually at home after all.

There had been a few incidents when Chanyeol had to cancel their plans because of work but he always told Baekhyun beforehand to make sure he didn't have to wait for nothing.

Today was different.

It was a kind of 'different' that made Baekhyun so anxious that it was a wonder his lower lip wasn't bleeding yet, considering that he had been nibbling on it for a good hour.

 

_⌜ ~Baekhyun. ⌝  ¹³ ⁰⁶_

_You're okay.. right?_

 

He didn't know why he was still trying.

Their chat was filled with messages from his side, making it look as if Baekhyun was the one who always spammed Chanyeol even though it was the other way round.

He had no idea what else to do though.

He wouldn't be able to bear the disgusting cold for much longer but obviously, he couldn't just go home either.

Actually, one part of him was still hoping that Chanyeol's mom would show up soon and tell him what was going on.

However ...

Baekhyun pressed his irritated lips together and pulled his right sleeve down to reveal the bracelet he had found on the dirty ground near the entrance door, staring at the cheap beads as if they could give him answers to the hundreds of questions that were currently running through his head.

Those answers were so painful that Chanyeol had thrown away the bracelet his sister had made for him even though he used to wear it every single day.

They were so unpleasant that he had _disappeared_.

Maybe Baekhyun wasn't trembling because of the cold only.

"Pick up, you bastard.. fucking pick up already," he mumbled to himself as he tried to call Chanyeol once more, clenching his teeth the second he got to hear the first word of the recorded sentences that seemed to be carved into his throbbing head at this point.

Last time Baekhyun had been extremely worried and scared it became so serious that he couldn't breathe normally anymore, his entire body shivering but also burning as if it was on fire.

Now, every futile call seemed to bring him closer to that dangerous point he hadn't wanted to get anywhere near to ever again.

That suffocating tightness in his chest that was already starting to make breathing so much more difficult and exhausting than it should be.

The uncomfortable fluttering in his stomach that was making him nauseous.

How hot his cheeks were even though they should be ice cold.

How foggy his surroundings seemed to be all of a sudden - as if the wall behind his back, the snow underneath his boots, the shabby buildings on the other side of the street, and the cloudy sky above him weren't real.

As if he was only imagining everything he could currently see.

This wasn't the first time Baekhyun was experiencing such bothersome things.

He was so familiar with those emotions that he had lost count of how often he already dealt with them in the past.

Going through them was still terribly draining and ugly though.

And unlike the last time this had happened, Chanyeol wasn't next to him right now.

He couldn't calm him down or make it stop or make it less bad at least.

No.

Baekhyun was all alone again.

Just like back then.

Like during all those harmful months full of darkness when Chanyeol hadn't been a firm part of his life yet.

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> \- This is my ghost speaking because Baek had enough of me making Chan suffer and decided to kill me before it gets worse -
> 
> I got some news for you, BaEkS.
> 
> You can't escape, no matter how hard you try *evil laugh*
> 
> I swear I'm not a villain-
> 
> Anyway.
> 
> I freaking love Baekhyun's and Jongdae's relationship and I hope you like those two together just as much as me! There will be more of their interactions next chapter~
> 
> Btw, I actually lowkey hated the first scene of this chap (or better said, I hated most of it while the Baekyeol texts made me soft af) but I made lots of bigger changes and I'm way happier with it now. I mean, I always liked the 'detective Baekchen' kind of thing that is going on here but it didn't really feel good enough.. Idk man but it's much better now. Hopefully at least haha maybe you'll think differently fnfmf  
>    
> Aaand I can't with myself.
> 
> Me, shortly after starting to write this chapter: "yOoOo it would be kinda cute to have a little scene that shows how Baek calms down Chan after a nightmare! Nothing big, just a smol lil fluffy part!"
> 
> *said 'smol lil fluffy part' ends up being the longest scene of the chapter and is suddenly much sadder than first planned*
> 
> Me: *surprised Pikachu face*
> 
> I really hope that second scene isn't so long that it's boring or so.. Sometimes I get completely lost while writing and don't pay much attention to the word count because I'm too busy with the emotions of my characters to be able to focus on such things and all of a sudden there are 1K words more and I have no idea where the hell they're coming from.
> 
> Whoops.  
>    
> My writing style tends to be quite detailed as well as you all should know by now lol and that might be annoying maybe but I mean.. I AM making progress... just with tiny baby steps yvubibi
> 
> And, uhhh ... there's something I need to tell you..
> 
> I'm worried about posting the next few chapters but I'm especially worried about chapter 12 in particular dmdlf you're going to freaking hate me-
> 
> Basically..
> 
> I did a thing and it's going to have big and pretty ugly and hurtful consequences.. consequences you'll get to know in 4 long ass chapters that involve lots of angst and pain.. haha... ha..
> 
> (There's some fluff every now and then as well though dndmdk I'm not THAT heartless dmdmd)
> 
> I will make up for the pain..  just give me some more time and brace yourself for some angst and lots of emotions first :')
> 
>  
> 
> ... huh? You want to know if Chanyeol is okay..?
> 
> Eh..
> 
> * glances at him and makes a face due to.. reasons ... *
> 
> Uhm, he- uhhh...
> 
> ...
> 
> *RUNS*


	12. A bloody mistake

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sooo I kinda warned you at the end of the last part already but I'm going to say it again just to make sure and I will also give you more details in case that you need them^^ This chapter is pretty heavy (again), mainly because violence, blood, death, feels, and just lots of angst in general are involved. Aaaand I had to add two new tags to this story you're probably not going to like because of this chap.. certain big things that happen here weren't really planned at first *cough* this is what you get when you can't stick to the loose 'plan' you have *cough* Anyway, this chapter is pretty intense at points and I was evil as hell to basically every important character (Chanyeol suffered the most though...) so sorry for that and please be careful with it ;-; I can promise you the pain won't last forever but for now you have to bear with it sadly :') And well, I'm extremely scared of posting this because I know I didn't hold back. Hope you can forgive me ... and uhh, enjoy..? I guess djflaökfd

* * *

「 _Monday, 4 January 2019_ 」

* * *

 

_The disgusting taste of blood._  
  
 _The_ _repulsive smell of cigarettes.  
  
The hard and dirty ground underneath his squirming body.  
  
The unpleasant cold wind typical for a winter night that was blowing in his burning hot face without showing any mercy.  
  
The pitch-black darkness everywhere around the two of them, only disrupted by the faint light of a street lamp somewhere near his throbbing head.  
  
The malicious laughter of his powerful opponent who didn't want to stop harming him even though his entire body was already aching thanks to the countless hits, punches, and kicks.  
  
Yes, Chanyeol should have paid more attention to his surroundings instead of walking around without any aim.  
  
He wouldn't have gotten lost then.  
  
He wouldn't have found himself in a narrow passageway that didn't seem to have an end.  
  
He wouldn't have bumped into a six feet tall and sturdy man who was profoundly convinced he was looking for a fight even though he was simply a heartbroken teenager in desperate need of money.  
  
He wouldn't have gotten elbowed in the stomach before he could even **think** of getting the hell away from this aggressive guy while he still had the chance to do so.  
  
He wouldn't have stumbled because of the intensity of that strike._

_He_ _wouldn't have gotten beat up despite being already on the ground._

_He wouldn't have believed trying to defend himself with his nails was a good idea, wouldn't have troubles with breathing now, wouldn't feel so terribly dizzy, wouldn't be sure his head was about to explode thanks to how badly it was currently pounding, wouldn't have to curse himself and his thoughtless actions.  
  
Stupid.  
  
He was so fucking **stupid**.  
  
Chanyeol groaned loudly when his attacker punched him in the nose, tearing up as hundreds of tiny needles seemed to prick his flushed cheeks.  
  
The rings on this guy's fingers made that particular strike so painful that the terrified teenager gasped for air and covered his bruised nose in a desperate attempt to protect it from further harm, whimpering when the man grabbed his wrists and pulled his hands away to see the damage he had caused.  
  
His eyes were sparkling with glee as he inspected Chanyeol's messed up skin.  
  
"I'm wondering.. did you actually think you could just casually roam the most dangerous streets of Seoul without anything happening to you or were you looking for an adventure? You know, running away from home just for kicks?" the man asked mockingly, his deep voice muffled because of the mask that was covering most of his face.  
  
"Well, are you enjoying yourself right now? Because I surely am," he snickered while increasing the pressure of his grip. "So I'm not going to complain about running into you anymore. Was getting bored all on my own anyway so thanks for entertaining me! Did you bring any friends or are you the only one I'm getting to play with tonight?"  
  
Chanyeol glared at his attacker and tried to free himself from the immensly strong grip - without success.  
  
He didn't know how to make it happen in his current state but he had to get away from this violent maniac.  
  
As fast as possible.  
  
He didn't have time for this crap.  
  
He had to save Yoomi.  
  
"Let ... let me.. go," Chanyeol demanded, his hoarse voice so shaky that it couldn't have sounded less threatening.  
  
A barking puppy would be scarier.  
  
"Pff, why the hell should I? I'm not done with you yet. Actually, we're just getting started," the man declared and chuckled, concerning words that made Chanyeol gulp.  
  
Even that hurt.  
  
"You should have known what you're getting yourself into when you decided to come here in the middle of the night, sweetheart," the male added as he brushed Chanyeol's irritated right cheek with his gloved hand.  
  
The teenager shuddered at the disturbingly affectionate gesture, his heart pounding uncontrollably fast.  
  
"And you shouldn't have thought you could take me down."  
  
This man had no idea what he was talking about.  
  
Chanyeol hadn't come here on purpose.  
  
He hadn't wanted to start a fight either.  
  
He would never do such things.  
  
After all, he hated such gloomy alleys more than anything, was detesting violence.  
  
This had been an accident.  
  
A terrible mistake he was paying for now.  
  
"I'm.. I did .. didn't mean ... to ... just got.. lost ..." Chanyeol stammered, the tiny part of him that had been hoping an honest explanation would make his opponent realize that he didn't have any bad intentions falling to pieces the moment his attacker pulled out a golden knife and pressed its sharp tip on his exposed neck.  
  
Chanyeol's eyes widened, his breath hitching.  
  
"Mhm. Sure you did."  
  
The teenager opened his mouth to protest but all what left his busted lips was a weak whimper since the man started to carve something into his skin without showing any compassion.  
  
An agonizing sensation that made Chanyeol's swollen eyes water.  
  
It wasn't comparable to the overwhelmingly sudden pain he felt when that damned glass splitter had pierced the skin on his finger back then but this was a ghastly experience anyway.  
  
His attacker started seconds ago only and yet his entire neck seemed to be burning already.  
  
Good that Baekhyun didn't have to go through something similar that day.  
  
"I... I mean .. it ... " Chanyeol whispered and sniffled helplessly, unable to move because the man's free hand was pressing him down.  
  
"So?" he asked coldly as he dug the knife's tip even deeper into Chanyeol's sensitive skin, receiving a shrill cry of pain in response to the harmful action.  
  
"I don't actually care about why the fuck you're here. The only thing that matters is that you're literally the perfect victim for my grand comeback. So young, so fragile and innocent looking ... the citizens will be horrified once they hear your tragic story. And the best part is that they're finally going to fear me again," the male predicted while continuing to mark Chanyeol's neck, laughing maniacally.  
  
"So shut the fuck up and accept your fate like a good little boy."  
  
Chanyeol shivered at the harsh instruction that sounded dangerously tempting and closed his watery eyes, the salty tears that escaped in the process making the numerous wounds on his face itch.  
  
He had no idea what this psycho was talking about but at this point, he was too exhausted to care even though he probably should.  
  
Too tired to try figuring out the possible meaning behind those words.  
  
Too worn out to keep defending himself any longer.  
  
He was giving up - was about to do as told.  
  
'Sorry Bambi. I tried ... really did,' Chanyeol thought and turned his throbbing head to the side, more and more tears streaming down his cheeks. 'But Baek's wrong... I'm no hero. Just a dumb idiot that causes trouble n' keeps fucking up.'  
  
The man finally left his bleeding neck be, but Chanyeol didn't notice it.  
  
He couldn't detect the weight of the metallic object that was pressed on the middle of his forehead, too.  
  
How should he?  
  
He wasn't even able to feel the pain anymore.  
  
'Please don't hate me ...'  
  
Actually, Chanyeol couldn't feel anything.  
  
His body was numb.  
  
"Sweet dreams."_

 

 

_He was able to hear the nonsensical mumble and the ear-piercing shot though._

 

 

 

 

 

 

* * *

「 _Tuesday, 5 January 2019_ 」

* * *

 

Baekhyun scrunched up his face after getting startled by the unpleasantly loud anime opening he set as his ringtone months ago and pulled out the entangled earphones he was wearing for whatever reason, covering his body with his warm blanket once the noisy song stopped getting on his nerves.

His desire to fall asleep again turned into dust the moment he remembered the current happenings that had exhausted him - apparently to such an extent that he had dozed off shortly after lying down even though the last thing he should be doing at the moment was freaking _sleeping._

Originally, he simply wanted to relax.

Nothing more and nothing less.

_'Fuck. Fuck fuck fuck **fuck** ,'_ the drowsy teenager thought and sat up as quickly as possible, the bothersome black spots that were dancing in front of his eyes due to the sudden movement making him wince.

Once Baekhyun could finally see properly, he lifted his blanket and grabbed his phone that was dangerously close to the edge of his bed.

His back hunched after he read the name on the broken screen.

_'Huge jerk'._

Not the person he had been hoping for.

Okay, Jongdae might have news related to Chanyeol so he shouldn't be disappointed, but Baekhyun heaved a long sigh nevertheless.

He wasn't used to this unsettling silence.

Chanyeol had always been there ever since they became seatmates.

Always.

No wonder that everything felt off now that he was nowhere to be found.

Baekhyun unplugged his earphones and picked up before Jongdae could end the call, not getting any chance to greet said male properly because he cut him off.

"He-"

"Hi, hopeyou'rebetter!" Jongdae exclaimed, speaking so fast that Baekhyun could barely follow him. "This is really important so let me get straight to the point: Do you know anyone who's currently in Seoul - preferably somewhere near the hospital in the area Chan's living in because _fuck_ Seoul is _huge_ but someone else would be okay as well if that's our only possibility - erm, where was I.. ahh! Someone who's in Seoul and who is blood type O negative and who would be willing to donate?"

_'Huh?'_

Baekhyun furrowed his brows as he rubbed his face, too sleepy to be able to process all those confusing and too quickly spoken words at once.

Seoul?

Hospital?

Blood?

"The fuck??" Baekhyun cursed and pulled his hand away, still struggling with understanding what the hell Jongdae wanted from him.

Did he get it wrong or did this guy just ask if he knew someone in Seoul who would be okay with donating..

_..blood...?_

"Yes, the chances are slim as hell and I can't imagine you knowing the blood types of other people because why the heck would you, but is there anyone like that who comes to your mind even so?!"

Baekhyun didn't reply - couldn't reply.

Jongdae sounded extremely distressed so he knew he _should_ say something but at the same time, the mere fact that Chanyeol's best friend was unable to keep his cool any longer was also the exact reason why Baekhyun couldn't bring himself to answer.

After all, Jongdae's assuring words and composure earlier helped him to calm down just when the dreadful uncertainty surrounding Chanyeol's disappearance had been about to consume him alive.

Now, however, he was asking him concerning questions that proved something terrible must have happened to Chanyeol, anything but 'calm' while doing so.

Obviously.

What kind of best friend would remain undisturbed in such a case?

"Baekhyun??"

"Why do you need to know that .." Baekhyun murmured, unable to stop his brain from trying to come up with a legitimate reason on his own.

The first one that came to his mind was scary enough to bring back the horrendous mixture of uneasiness, panic, and worry he thought he had successfully escaped in a matter of seconds.

Chanyeol was still gone.

Jongdae, his overprotective best friend, was abnormally distressed.

And usually, people were only in need of blood when they had certain diseases or disorders or when they had lost a huge amount of their own.

_'Something terrible'_ was an understatement.

Chanyeol's life could be in danger.

Baekhyun shook his head the second that terrifying thought crossed his mind, triying to ignore the tormenting sinking feeling in his chest.

"You said he- he's fine..."

_'Bitch, don't fucking freak out again,'_ Baekhyun instructed himself upon hearing his own shaky voice and clutched one of the drawstrings of Chanyeol's black hoodie, fiddling with the cord.

He couldn't help putting the oversized shirt on after coming home even though it didn't smell like cotton candy and safety any longer.

_'Stay calm..'_

This was exactly why he had refused to believe Jongdae when he told him he didn't have to worry too much about his seatmate even though he _wanted_ to hear something uplifting and helpful when he was desperate enough to contact him.

Baekhyun shouldn't have allowed him to change his mind just so that he could calm down and head home in peace though.

So what if this wasn't the first time Chanyeol went missing, so what if such incidents had almost turned into normality at some point, so what if he always came back sooner or later?

That didn't mean anything.

One time, Chanyeol had ran away and hurt himself so badly that his finger started bleeding heavily, a serious injury that had lead to a scar that might never fade completely.

Besides, a big and dangerous city like Seoul couldn't be compared to the harmless little village his classmate grew up in.

If he accidentally set foot in the shabby parts of the city no sane person would voluntarily go anywhere near to ...

Baekhyun dug his thumb's nail into the thin string, swallowing.

The suffocating lump in his throat, however, only seemed to grow.

"You.. you were so ... so sure.."

"Uhmmm, what are you talking about? I don ... oh. Hold on. Did you- oh _fuck_. Shit, sorry!!" Jongdae apologized, a strange reaction that made Baekhyun frown.

"You got that wrong! Chan's still MIA!! This isn't about him, it's about Yoomi!"

Baekhyun closed his eyes and sighed in relief, his heart immediately feeling noticeably lighter thanks to the much needed specification.

He wasn't able to relax completely though.

Chanyeol could be in danger nevertheless.

And sure, Baekhyun didn't know his sister, but Yoomi was a little girl that should be enjoying her life.

She was too young to experience its harsh cruelness already.

Way too young.

Baekhyun plopped down on his bed, his gaze set on the switched off fairy lights above him.

"Could you please just fucking give me all the important details already?" he asked with narrowed eyes, exasperated. "What the fuck is going on? What did I miss?"

His current lack of knowledge was driving him crazy.

He didn't sleep for much longer than an hour as one glance at his clock told him and yet it seemed like Jongdae suddenly had all the information they had been looking for the whole time.

And he?

He didn't do anything helpful again.

He was only causing even more problems instead.

What a fucking joke he was.

"Uh, well. I tried to contact Chan's mom a few hours ago..." Jongdae finally started. "You know, just to make sure this is really one of his typical freak-outs and not something else. Took a good while until she picked up but at some point she did .."

Baekhyun rolled his eyes when Jongdae trailed off, asking himself why he couldn't just continue talking.

There was no way he had been in such a hurry at the beginning of this call for nothing.

"And?"

"She, uhm.. Chan was always kinda against it because he didn't want anyone to worry about him so she kept quiet for his sake but ... but she finally gave in and told me pretty much everything earlier."

Baekhyun pursed his lips, his growing impatience making it extremely difficult not to yell at this airhead that was still taking his sweet time for whatever reason.

_"And?!"_

"Yoomi has a blood disorder."

Baekhyun gritted his teeth, immediately remembering a reocurring element in Chanyeol's nightmares.

Blood.

_'Crap.. of course,'_ he thought as he slapped his forehead with his free hand.

It had never been a coincidence.

This was why his seatmate kept dreaming about blood.

"I don't remember the name of it anymore but they found out last year only," Jongdae continued, another piece of information that made perfect sense to Baekhyun.

"It was just an awful fever at first but she didn't get better .. because of that disorder. So we actually got that right. It was really related to her. ... .. that's.. this is why they moved so suddenly. Because we don't have any big hospital in Icheon... but she needs constant transfusions now that it's so serious and they have to monitor her and all that nasty stuff. Like, she hasn't been at home since months," he revealed, his tone untypically bitter. "She's in hospital 24/7. All day and all night."

Baekhyun grimaced, the thought of spending such a terribly long time in hospital making him shudder.

So much for Yoomi enjoying her life like a girl her age should.

"Still.. apparently, she's doing quite alright - I mean, more or less. Could be better of course but it could be much worse, too," Jongdae clarified, words that caught Baekhyun off guard.

Sure, Yoomi's situation was far from perfect so it was understandable to some extent but why would Chanyeol be so worried and stressed out that he couldn't even _sleep_ properly anymore if she was feeling 'quite alright' at the moment?

Was he _this_ scared of losing people who were dear to him after everything he had been through?

"The actual issue is that she was supposed to get a transfusion yesterday and it didn't happen."

_'What the actual fuck,'_ Baekhyun thought and raised his left brow, squinting.

"Why not?"

"That huge accident yesterday morning ... on the highway," Jongdae mentioned the dramatic incident last day that took the lives of several people and that was still being reported in all the newspapers.

"I'm sure you heard about it. They don't have Yoomi's blood type available at the moment because they needed that type to help the victims. O negative."

Baekhyun sat up abruptly.

_'Hold the fuck up.'_

Did he hear that right?

"O negative?" Baekhyun repeated just to make sure, his voice trembling. "Are you- Yoomi is O negative?"

No way.

Absolutely no way.

"Yes, she is," Jongdae, however, confirmed, unable to see how Baekhyun jumped to his feet the very next moment.

"Why the fuck didn't you tell me right away, fucker?!" he hissed, leaving his room in record time.

Iron-rich foods.

He had to get his hands on foods that were high in iron.

"The heck? I did!! I literally asked if you know anyone with type O negative blood seconds after you picked up! That was the reason why I called!!" Jongdae made clear as Baekhyun headed towards the kitchen with hurried steps despite a worried thought that was trying to slow him down.

He wasn't too young to help, was he?

"Their supplies of that type ran out! Because of the accident! They used it because it was a big emergency and O negative is the.. eh ... uniform.. no. Uni.. universal blood type or something like that...? Ugh, not sure but you probably know it anyway, don't you? Sorry, blood types always fucked me up in biology and I'm kinda all over the place ever since I got here and saw Yoomi lik-"

"Stop giving me excuses for your stupidity and rather tell me if I need parental permisson to donate just because I'm still a fucking minor."

His parents probably wouldn't say no but as always at the beginning of a new year, they were on a short business trip.

They hadn't spent more than six hours at home before heading to their hotel in a nearby city.

They weren't going to have any time for him.

As always.

"Eh? Wait.. don't tell me- oh my God," Jongdae gasped, **" _you're_ O negative?!"** he shouted in his phone - so loudly that Baekhyun screwed up his face and brought some distance between his right ear and the device.

"I am," he answered impatiently, rolling his eyes when the other male squealed.

"Calm the fuck down and answer my question. Nothing is decided yet. I don't know if I would fulfill all their requirements but I want to give it a try.. if I can," Baekhyun explained while rummaging through the fridge, silently praying that he didn't need any permission.

That they were actually going to accept his blood.

They had to.

They just had to.

"Ugh, true that... hold on, I'll ask real quick!! A nurse walked past me just a minute ago or so, I'm sure she knows! Give me a few moments okay?"

"Alright."

Baekhyun kept his phone near his ear, scowling because he couldn't find anything useful.

It made sense though.

They came back home around midnight only and _he_ should have went grocery shopping right in the morning since his parents had been too busy with work.

"Fuck this shit," Baekhyun muttered to himself and closed the fridge's door shut, grumbling because his search in the freezer wasn't any more successful.

Discouraged, he stood up and grabbed the unopened bottle of orange juice on the counter since it was better than nothing, gulping half of the fruity drink down without bothering to use a glass.

Not like it mattered.

He was going to be alone for a whole week.

"Baeks!!!"

The teenager made a face upon hearing the nickname that didn't make any sense whatsoever and licked his lips clean, capping the bottle before pressing his phone back on his ear.

"What."

"You're also 17, right?"

"Sadly."

"No, that's good!" Jongdae declared, much to Baekhyun's relief. "They changed the requirements a while ago!! You would only need their permission if you're 16 but that's not the case so you'll be able to donate as long as you and your blood are okay!" he exclaimed with excitement in his voice, talking so fast again that Baekhyun could already feel a headache coming.

"And!! I got here on my motorcycle! I can pick you up if you want, you just have to give me your address!" Jongdae rambled on. "We would be _much_ faster this way and you hate public transport anyway, don't you? Or do you still need some time to prepare yourself? Ugh, but we shouldn't really waste an-"

"Can you shut up for a moment?" Baekhyun cut him off before this idiot could overwhelm him again, fully enjoying the peaceful silence that followed his rude question.

How in the world did this obnoxious guy obtain a freaking driving licence for a motorcycle?

Sure, it was helpful in this moment, but wasn't that also a threat to human life?

Could he really let Jongdae drive him to the hospital and be sure that he would survive the journey??

"I'm much better and I know this is urgent so I wouldn't say I need more time," Baekhyun explained slowly while gliding his thumb over the huge orange printed on the label that was attached to the glass bottle. "But I haven't really eaten a lot today yet and that will most definitely lead to problems. And we don't have shit here at the moment because we only came back a few hours ago. And I don't really have any grocery shops near me."

"Oh.. well, what if I get you something then? Would that work?" Jongdae suggested immediately, a kind offer that didn't surprise Baekhyun at all.

Why should it?

He figured out Jongdae was a good guy months ago.

He had known it ever since Chanyeol's birthday party.

"Mhm, that would be great. It should be something that's iron-rich though. Like chicken.. or beef... or shellfish," Baekhyun enumerated in order to give him some ideas. "Stuff like that. I can look it up if you need a few more examples but, uhm. Is that really okay or is it too much to ask for..? You would get the money back of course but I can go on my own i-"

"No, don't. It's just fine, no worries! I don't have any problem with that!!" Jongdae assured. "I'm already on my way, actually. Still need your address though!"

"Ah yeah, about that.. just out of curiosity, you haven't ever caused any accidents or so, have you?" Baekhyun asked to make sure and leaned against the counter, twiddling the red cap on the bottle.

Jongdae might be a good person but that didn't mean he was going to trust him blindly.

Better safe than sorry.

"Huh? Of course not!! What the hell are you thinking of me Baeks?! I'm always driving carefully! Always!!!" Jongdae huffed, making Baekhyun giggle with how vehemently he was defending himself.

As expected.

"Okay, okay, calm your ass. Guess I'll believe you. You'll get the address via text. Thanks, see you in a bit, and ..." Baekhyun stopped himself before the words could slip, shaking his head lightly.

Why was he hesitating? Nothing wrong with being kind towards him for a change.

It was only fair.

"Take care," he finished the sentence, his tone soft.

"... ... .. holy crap."

"What?"

"What _'what'_? You can't just _'what'_ me after saying something like that!!" Jongdae whined. "You, Byun _fucking_ Baekhyun, actually sounded **_nice_** and as if you're giving a damn about my well-being just now," he explained the (rather obvious) reason for his weird reaction, the scepticism inside his voice unmistakable.

"Should I be scared??"

"Maybe," was all Baekhyun said before ending the call, a little smirk on his lips that became cheekier as he typed the promised message that explained where exactly he lived.

Most likely because he couldn't help adding a playful _'btw, my parents aren't home so nobody will hear your screams when I finally cut you (*^0^)♡'._

Said smug smile only disappeared when he checked Chanyeol's and his chat after the message was delivered, making place for a twisted expression instead.

_'Last online yesterday at 10:17'._

It's been more than _**29** hours._

_'Don't panic. Not now,'_ Baekhyun told himself once more since he definitely wouldn't be able to help out Yoomi otherwise and typed a short text instead of paying too much attention to the uneasiness in his stomach.

 

  
_⌜ ~Baekhyun. ⌝ ¹⁵ ³⁸_   
_I'm O-. Don't know if I'm able_   
_to donate or not but I will try._

 

The teenager pulled his right sleeve down and brushed the colorful beads of Chanyeol's bracelet he hadn't taken off ever since he had found it, opening his folder filled with songs that weren't available on Spotify after inspecting the self-made accessory for a short while.

He finally remembered he had been wearing earphones when he woke up because Chanyeol's soothing Christmas present lulled him to sleep earlier the moment he saw the song's name on his screen.

Baekhyun turned the volume all the way up and played the track that meant so much to him.

He opened their chat once more seconds later, not thinking straight when he sent Chanyeol a second message.

 

  
_⌜ ~Baekhyun. ⌝ ¹⁵ ³⁹_  
 _And_ _I miss you_

 

 

 

 

 

  
"That would be it!" the nurse informed Baekhyun after wrapping a bandage around his right arm and gave him a warm smile.

Everything before - the tedious registration process, reading the various explanatory brochures, answering the many questions about his lifestyle and health, the short physical examination, and giving a sample of his blood - surely had taken a good while but as promised, donating itself didn't even cost him ten minutes of his life.

It didn't hurt either.

"Keep the bandage on for at least four hours, make sure to drink lots of water today and tomorrow, and avoid heavy lifting and any strenuous exercises in general for the next 24 hours," the woman instructed strictly even though Baekhyun was already fully aware of the things he should and shouldn't do thanks to the numerous booklets he had to read earlier.

"It's never a nice experience but it's pretty common to feel light-headed or dizzy after donating - just lie down and rest until the feeling disappears in case that it happens to you, too. Ah, and if the bleeding recurs, raise your arm and press on the area where the blood is coming from. The bleeding should stop after a couple of minutes," she added and adjusted her glasses, scanning his face.

"Do you have any questions or is there something that's concerning you maybe?"

"Hmm," Baekhyun hummed and inspected the cramped room for the nth time, feeling perfectly fine even after shifting in his chair, moving his bandaged arm slightly, and stretching his neck.

"No, not really."

He couldn't help staring at the bag filled with his blood on the round desk near him once his gaze found it, absolutely fascinated by the fact that people were able to donate so much of the crucial liquid without having to fear any too bothersome consequences.

Sure, the existence of this possibility wasn't anything new to him, but actually going through the procedure couldn't be compared to reading articles or to watching documentaries about the interesting topic.

"I think I'm okay," Baekhyun eventually stated since he couldn't detect anything strange, hoping that it would be worth the hassle and that Yoomi would be out of danger soon.

He had been sure they weren't going to let him donate for several hours straight only to start worrying something else could go wrong now that she was finally going to receive the transfusion she needed so badly.

Despite his inviolable certainty that either him or his blood weren't going to be suitable for the donation before.

"Excellent! You'll be free to go after a short stay in our refreshment area down the corridor then. 15 minutes should be enough but you should only leave when you're feeling good," she advised him. "Just take all the time you need to recover and let a nurse or doctor know in case that something is wrong."

With that, the young woman put out her hand and gave him an even brighter smile than before.

"Thank you for your donation Baekhyun, we really appreciate it! Your blood type is always high in demand so we would love to see you again one day!!"

"Uh .. yeah. I'll think about it, I guess. Thanks and bye," Baekhyun mumbled awkwardly and shook hands with the stern yet overfriendly nurse before getting up from the comfy chair as carefully as possible to make sure not to wear himself out.

He left the secluded room with slow steps and headed towards the brightly lit refreshment area at the end of the corridor, pursing his lips because Jongdae's wild gesticulations caught his eye long before he opened the huge glass door.

_'Yuck. What the fuck did I do to deserve this?'_ Baekhyun wondered but he entered the room that reminded him of the school cafeteria and sat down opposite to the hyper teenager despite the unanswered question that was still on his mind, blinking in surprise when Jongdae handed him a bottle of still water and a bar of dark chocolate.

Sceptically, he inspected the snack, deciding to go for the water first even though he couldn't wait to devour the tempting chocolate bar.

"How come you know I like dark chocolate? Or is this some creepy coincidence.."

"No, it's just easy to tell. I mean, all that bitterness _has_ to come from somewhere," Jongdae explained with a shrug, chuckling when Baekhyun rolled his eyes while drinking. "And well, Chan wanted me to buy some for his birthday party even though he can't stand bitter stuff. Just because of you. It didn't sound like you were planning to come _at all_ and yet he insisted on it," he snorted.

Baekhyun put the bottle down the moment Jongdae mentioned Chanyeol, squeezing it unconsciously upon being reminded of how thoughtful his seatmate was.

Good that he hadn't let him down that night.

"Anything new from him..?"

As expected, Jongdae shook his head no, a sad smile on his lips.

"I let him know that you're donating right after you texted me but he still didn't read any of my messages."

"It'll be the same for mine then," Baekhyun grumbled and pulled out his phone to check if he was right, his stomach dropping when he saw the notification from a news site on the screen.

 

 

_'Seoul: The end of the notorious serial killer Masked Shooter'_

 

 

  
_'Shit ..'_

This wasn't bad news by any means.

In fact, it had been about damn time they got rid of the sick psychopath that used to terrorize the citizens of Seoul until he disappeared without any trace just when the police almost caught him.

That they finally stopped him even though he had covered his tracks so perfectly that literally everyone who was working on the tricky case seemed to lose hope sooner or later.

And yet Baekhyun's fingers were trembling noticeably when he opened the link to the article.

Probably because there had to be some kind of reason why they suddenly caught him after all this time.

A reason that could be tied to a new victim.

A reason that could be related to his missing seatmate for all he knew.

Luckily, the possibility wasn't too realistic thanks to how big Seoul was but it was still _there_ , its mere presence so threatening that Baekhyun was holding his breath while reading.

 

 

_'Plenty of bruises, two swords that form a huge 'X' carved right into the skin of his victims to sign his appalling work, and a precise headshot - that's how brutally K. Kyungtae, also known as 'Masked Shooter', ended the lives of nine innocent people he wasn't familiar with in not even two months._

_It was a mysterious and horrifying series of murders that kept police officers, detectives, criminalists, and the shocked citizens of Seoul on their toes even after Masked Shooter's identity was revealed._ _An outstandingly difficult case that seemed to be impossible to solve ever since the ruthless killer had disappeared overnight and became inactive around one and a half years ago.'_

 

 

"Hey, everything okay? You look kinda pale... Did he reply you?!" Jongdae asked but Baekhyun couldn't hear him, too focused on the article that was making his blood run cold.

 

 

_'An anonymous call last night, however, lead the police to Gangseo District, an area known for its shady and criminal activities. The officers found the uncounscious murderer in an alley shortly afterwards and arrested him without complications, putting an ultimate end to K. Kyungtae's killings._

_"We're relieved he won't cause harm to anyone ever again of course. There are still plenty of unsolved questions regarding this case we need to find the answers to as soon as possible though," says Mr Kim, one of Seoul's greatest criminalists who has been investigating the murder series ever since its start._

_"The wounds visible on his body worry me the most. I don't like saying this but those deep scratch marks on his skin could mean Masked Shooter tried adding a new victim to his list before we found him - perhaps the person who contacted us yesterday. For now, we can't exclude the possibility that Kyungtae succeeded and is responsible for the death of yet another individual though."'_

 

  
Baekhyun stopped reading even though there were still several paragraphs left, his palms clammy and his heart aching as if that insane killer had carved his horrific signature right into the vital organ.

The mentioned district was close to the one Chanyeol was living in.

Too close.

"Baekhyun! What's wrong?? Do you want me to get you a nu-"

Baekhyun failed to hear the rest of the worried question because he leaped to his feet and sprinted to the glass door without giving Jongdae any explanation, only quickening his pace instead of slowing down when a male nurse tried to stop him.

He pushed the door open and continued running, trying to remember how to get from the blood center to the main building of the enormous hospital as he rushed down the stairs.

A little part of him knew he might be overreacting but Baekhyun couldn't help it.

It was that damn uneasiness that had overtaken him while reading the detailed article, the sickening agitation that hadn't even been nearly this strong when he waited in front of Chanyeol's apartment complex earlier.

Last time he decided to ignore those unpleasant and utmost scary signals that told him something had to be terribly off, things turned extremely ugly.

He couldn't make the same mistake again.

Not now that this wasn't about him anymore.

He couldn't wait just one minute longer, couldn't sit there without doing anything useful while Chanyeol might be _bleeding to death._

The teenager's drained body, however, wasn't able to keep up with his strong will to find his seatmate no matter what.

Baekhyun barely managed to hold onto the back of a wooden chair to his left when his surroundings turned blurry in a flash.

So abruptly that he wouldn't have been surprised if he passed out right then and there.

A strong wave of nausea washed over him right afterwards.

_'Fuck.. no ...'_

He closed his eyes while clutching the chairback with all his might, his chest rising and falling with rapid breaths.

_'Stop.'_

He didn't have time for this crap.

He had to save Chanyeol.

"Holy.. shit ..." Jongdae gasped from somewhere behind him and came closer with heavy steps. "I always .. always thought Chan's.. crazy ... but you ... you're not ... much better .."

Carefully, Baekhyun loosened his hold on the chair and rubbed his throbbing forehead with his left hand only, not daring to let go completely.

His legs were so wobbly that he would certainly fall if he tried to stand on his own.

"Get your butt on.. that dumb chair you ... fucking moron," Jongdae instructed harshly despite his heavy breathing and helped him to sit down, quick to press the soothingly cold water bottle he had taken along on Baekhyun's forehead after brushing his bangs out of his face.

Said male opened his eyes only to shut them close again right away because his vision was still irritatingly fuzzy.

He tried to get up despite the troublesome blurriness, letting out a frustrated groan when Jongdae pushed him back down.

"Nope, forget it. Stay where you are."

"I do what I want," Baekhyun growled before snatching the bottle in hope it would either provide him with the strength he needed to keep going or help him to get rid of the sickness that was still there, accidentally dropping the cap and spilling some of the water because he opened it too hastily.

He finished the bottle in record time and huffed, giving Jongdae a death glare the moment he could finally see properly again.

How dare this empty-headed asshole stop him from finding Chanyeol?

"There was a fucking _serial killer_ out there last night you freaking bitch I can't jus-"

"I know," Jongdae interrupted him and heaved a deep sigh before plopping down on the chair next to him, running his hand through his brown hair.

"Everyone's talking about it. It's all over the news."

Baekhyun squished the empty bottle upon hearing his composed voice that didn't fit the seriousness of the current happenings, the noisy crushing sound startling both of them.

What the hell was wrong with this guy?

"How the fuck can you be so fucking calm then?!"

"Calm ..?" Chanyeol's best friend repeated, his brows raised in amusement. "I know exactly he's not going to react and yet I called him more than 40 times in the past few minutes and sent him just as many texts if not more. I'm anything _but_ calm. Don't think I've ever been this worried about him before, actually," Jongdae admitted quietly and hung his head low, brushing the chocolate bar in his hands.

This time, Baekhyun kept his mouth shut, inspecting the framed drawings that covered the yellow painted wall opposite to him instead of continuing the conversation.

Those gigantic trees, the widely smiling suns, and the birds in the blue skies that had a striking similarity to the McDonald's logo proved the landscapes he was currently looking at had been drawn by children - most likely patients.

Patients who were dreaming of a better life.

Of endless freedom and exciting adventures.

But the real world wasn't as happy and colorful as shown in those drawings.

Not at all.

It was sick, twisted, and dark.

"We should contact the police," Baekhyun mumbled eventually even though Jongdae had told him Chanyeol and his mom had agreed on not involving the police if he ran away ever again the last time it happened.

As long as he came back home in a matter of 48 hours at least.

At the moment, they were _'only_ _'_ at around 34 hours though.

"Mhm."

Baekhyun frowned since the shaky hum almost sounded as if Jongdae was on the verge of crying and turned towards him to find out if his suspicion was correct, observing how the teenager used the sleeves of his red sweatshirt to wipe over his eyes before raising his head.

So it wasn't only Baekhyun's imagination.

Jongdae hadn't lied.

This guy was just as scared and worried as him.

"Auntie gave me the keys to their apartment earlier," Jongdae let Baekhyun know after taking a deep breath, acting normal even though his hands were shaking. "We'll check if Chan's at home first, just in case... if he isn't, we'll tell the police he's missing. Fine with you?" he asked and gave Baekhyun a fake smile after getting up.

Said male nodded and followed Jongdae's example, screwing up his face since his surroundings started to spin immediately.

"Ugh, almost forgot. Here, eat that. Might help."

Baekhyun mumbled a quick "thanks", seized the offered chocolate even though it wasn't nearly as tempting as before, and shoved two pieces at once in his mouth, closing his eyes as he let them melt on his tongue.

For the first time ever, dark chocolate was tasting too bitter.

 

 

 

 

 

  
_'Please be in there.. I'm begging you,'_ Baekhyun thought as he waited for Jongdae to unlock the door, wringing his ice cold hands and shifting from one foot to the other.

This constant nervousness mixed with the unsettling concern was getting more difficult to handle the longer he didn't know if Chanyeol was alright or long gone.

_Gone forever._

His heart was pounding fast once they were finally standing inside the narrow hallway, nothing but darkness greeting the two worried teenagers who hadn't exchanged a word ever since they left the hospital.

The continuous blackness that was filling the entire apartment was extremely disheartening but Baekhyun didn't waste any time and headed towards Chanyeol's room even though the little spark of hope that his seatmate was somewhere in here and _okay_ had just perished, squinting after turning on the lights.

At first glance, the room looked like it usually did.

Chanyeol didn't seem to be inside though.

Dozens of energy cans were spread all over the desk that was pure chaos in general, the closet was opened and just as messy as Baekhyun had always imagined, the collage that showed Chanyeol with his closest friends and relatives was hanging on the baby blue colored wall, his beloved keyboard was standing in the corner, tons of adorable plush toys but also several piles of dirty clothes could be found on the floor and on the unmade bed, the stars on the windo-

_'Hold the fuck up.'_

Baekhyun stopped inspecting the useless Christmas decoration that certainly wasn't going to tell him where the hell Chanyeol was and checked the bed once more the second he noticed something odd out of the corner of his eye.

He forgot how to breathe upon realizing _why_ the white hoodie his seatmate had thrown carelessly on the mattress caught his attention.

_'No.'_

This couldn't be happening.

He refused to believe it.

Maybe it was _him_ who was having a bad dream for a change..?

Or it simply wasn't what it looked like...?

Or he was imagining things, so affected because of the donation that he was starting to hallucinate even though that didn't make any sense whatsoever.

"Is that.. fuck, please tell me that isn-"

"Shut up," Baekhyun croaked and covered Jongdae's mouth before he could finish the sentence that proved he could see the many dark red stains on Chanyeol's sweatshirt as well, still not able to breathe normally.

Avoiding to speak the word _'blood'_ out loud didn't make them disappear though.

Somehow, Baekhyun whirled around without collapsing right on the spot and stumbled towards the darkness that wasn't even nearly as black as his thoughts now that the lights in his seatmate's room were turned on.

An idea flashed into his mind when he caught a glimpse of the yellow flower stickers attached to the white door right next to Chanyeol's.

A door that lead to a room he had never been inside.

Not until tonight at least.

Baekhyun nodded to himself and wrapped his sweaty palm around the metallic handle.

He pushed it down, opening the door timidly.

The teenager stepped inside the dark room with little steps, his entire body freezing because of the unexpected muffled whimper that came from somewhere near him.

Didn't this mean that..

"Yeol?" Baekhyun called Chanyeol's nickname hopefully and started to search for the light switch by gliding his right hand over the bumpy wall, scanning the entire room that was noticeably smaller than Chanyeol's and filled with dozens of moving boxes after turning on the lights.

His heart stopped the moment he spotted his shivering seatmate who was curled up on Yoomi's bed.

He had found him.

After almost _35_ _hours_ of pure silence, he had finally found him.

Baekhyun should be happy.

He should be glad Chanyeol was right there.

That he was sleeping at home instead of being stuck somewhere out there in the cold blackness - lost, terrified and all on his own.

That he was still _breathing._

But all he felt as he inspected Chanyeol's twisted face that was tainted with bruises, ugly scratches, dried blood, and a couple of band-aids ...

The only emotion that washed over him once he perceived his seatmate had dyed his hair _coal-black_ and was clutching a book that seemed to be a photo album as if his life was depending on it ...

...was anguishing sorrow.

An emotion so powerful that he could have sworn something inside him just broke to hundreds of tiny but sharp pieces.

Most likely his aching heart.

Baekhyun tried to gulp down the heavy lump in his throat without any success, almost tripping over one of the boxes while rushing towards the bed in order to put an end to the cruel nightmare that seemed to be troubling his injured seatmate.

He got on his knee and grabbed Chanyeol's shoulders as lightly as possible to avoid accidentally hurting him in case that there were even more injuries hidden somewhere underneath his oversized grey sweatshirt, shaking the trembling male softly.

"Hey.. wake ... wake... up.. please wake up Yeol!!" Baekhyun begged, recoiling when Chanyeol shifted enough in his sleep to reveal the enourmous bloody 'X' that was carved into his neck.

Seeing the disturbing symbol was like a punch right in the gut.

He hadn't overreacted.

Trusting that feeling had been the correct decision.

Chanyeol had been supposed to become Masked Shooter's tenth victim last night.

Baekhyun almost lost him forever.

"No .." the teenager whispered and shook his head in disbelief, unable to avert his gaze from the bloody swords on his friend's skin even though the mere sight was flooding his eyes with tears.

_'Why... why him .. of all people..'_

He didn't want to imagine how much it must have hurt.

How utterly scary that experience must have been for Chanyeol.

What he could be dreaming at the moment.

It was a miracle that he had somehow managed to get away from that sick killer - wounded but _alive._

Baekhyun sniffled weakly and blinked his tears away, only noticing Jongdae was standing next to him when said male covered Chanyeol's body with the blanket from his room.

"He's going to hate me for this," Jongdae muttered, his eyes narrowed as he inspected the worrisome wound on his best friend's neck. "But we have to take him to hospital."

"Yeah .." Baekhyun agreed immediately despite knowing how much his seatmate detested hospitals, his voice barely audible.

Jongdae was right.

They shouldn't take this on the easy shoulder.

"I know it can be a tough task but keep trying to wake him up. I'm going to call a taxi so that both of us can accompany him," Jongdae declared and shoved his trembling hands inside the front pockets of his black jeans. "I'll also inform auntie that we found him.. and ... and will prepare some clothes and other stuff he might need while I'm at it. Yeah. Okay Baeks?" he asked, avoiding to look at Baekhyun.

"Mh."

This time, Baekhyun wasn't going to ask how this guy could be so unbothered and cool even though he just found out his best friend since ages had almost lost his young life because of a heartless serial killer.

He could tell it was an act only.

Jongdae's wobbly voice and shaky fingers were giving him away.

He couldn't fool Baekhyun, not any longer.

Jongdae pulled out his phone and left the room without any other word so Baekhyun did what he had agreed to, cupping Chanyeol's messed up face carefully.

"Yeol. Hey ... hey. Can you hear me?"

Absolutely no reaction.

Chanyeol kept shivering despite the warming blanket, his face still screwed up in pain.

"Wake up please?" Baekhyun tried again and brushed his seatmate's cheeks softly since it had helped the last time he tried waking Chanyeol up, making sure his fingers didn't come in contact with any bruises or scratches while doing so.

He didn't want to wake him up by hurting him.

Yet again, Chanyeol didn't quite react though.

The only thing he did was wince.

"Pretty please with a cherry on top?"

Baekhyun sighed after several seconds of waiting, starting to lose his patience.

Why did someone with such horrible nightmares have to be a heavy sleeper?

"Yeol. _Yeol!_ **Yeol!!!** " he yelled as he held onto Chanyeol, set on saving his friend from the bad dream that was only adding up to his pain no matter how long it would take him.

"Okay how about ... Yeollie. Idiot..? Jerk ... bitch.. ... giant .. seatmate," Baekhyun enumerated in hope that any of the other nicknames he used from time to time would be more successful, reaching out his right hand to pat Chanyeol's head when he remembered one name in particular.

_"Hero,"_ he uttered softly and ruffled his friend's black hair, tears filling his eyes once more moments later.

Probably because Chanyeol wasn't waking up despite his suffering and Baekhyun's many attempts to make it stop or because the little yet powerful word reminded him of times when his seatmate seemed to be unbreakable.

Or it was simply related to the fact that Baekhyun couldn't bear with all those harmful emotions any longer.

"Buttercup ... Blueberry..!" he continued while staring at Chanyeol's hair that was too dark, glad that the tears were blurring his sight.

Chanyeol might like wearing black every now and he was more than familar with its gloominess after being through hell and back but he would certainly still be a mellow baby pink or blue if he was a color.

Maybe also a warm orange, a soft shade of yellow, pastel rainbow ...

Everything that was as far away from black as possible.

Unless the huge amount of toxic darkness that had been forced into his body in one single night had swallowed up his bright colors of course.

It wasn't the first time they left him hanging.

Would he be able to get them back once more though?

"Cuddle monster.. Snow... snow fai..ry," Baekhyun stammered in an useless try to ignore the depressing voice inside his head, biting harshly into his lower lip because it was only coming up with thoughts that made his stomach turn instead.

Who knew how Chanyeol would behave once he was awake?

What if he was going to change completely because of the damaging experience? If it had erased the bewitching sparkle in his eyes, if it had taken away that precious smile and his soothing gentleness?

If they had been too late?

What if Baekhyun had already lost Chanyeol even though he was literally right in front of him?

If that loathsome maniac hadn't murdered _him_ but his _soul?_

Baekhyun shook his head vehemently, covering his mouth to muffle the ugly sobs that were escaping his throat.

_'No.. please no ...'_

How much could someone take before it shattered them?

He buried his tear-stained face in his hands, his entire body shaking uncontrollably.

This.. he wasn't used to this.

He had lost plenty of friends before, yes, but this was different.

_Chanyeol_ was different.

Unique.

Special.

...too freaking likeable.

It had probably been bound to happen but when the hell did he become so dangerously attached to the guy that used to frighten him to death?

Didn't they become friends a short while ago only?

And why was life trying to take Chanyeol away from him so brutally just when he had gotten used to having a true friend right beside him?

Someone who actually cared about him and his feelings and liked him the way he was?

How was this fair?

_'I wanted to fucking protect you,'_ Baekhyun thought as he sobbed helplessly, _'just like you protected me..'_

The glum questions and possibilities his mind couldn't shut up about seemed to be set on destroying him.

Strange how a sudden wave of warmth mixed with that distinctive cotton candy scent could extinguish all those fearful thoughts in a matter of seconds even so.

Most likely because this was a much needed hug from an incredibly important person that just saved him from breaking apart.

Again.

"Don't... cry.." Chanyeol whispered weakly, pressing Baekhyun closer to his chest even though doing so was making him hiss.

But he didn't let go.

No, he kept holding onto him, was almost acting as if he had heard all those ugly thoughts and wanted to prove him wrong.

Baekhyun closed his watery eyes that were still hidden underneath his palms, trying to calm down now that he could hear his seatmate's heartbeat.

Now that both of them seemed to be safe and sound.

Baekhyun should be the one who was comforting Chanyeol though.

Not the other way round.

He needed it more.

Besides, he had to get to know the truth - had to hear that his little sister was going to be okay.

"Y..yoo...mi's... your mom- she.. told us," Baekhyun stammered quietly into Chanyeol's shirt, sure his seatmate had been able to understand him even so since his muscles tensed noticeably.

"She'll .. Yoomi. She... she will be.. fine ..."

_'Hopefully.'_

Baekhyun wouldn't dare to speak that discouraging word out loud.

"What?"

Slowly, Chanyeol let go of Baekhyun, staring at him with a blank expression in his eyes.

The skin around his right eye was bruised but Baekhyun knew the emotionless emptiness he was currently seeing in his seatmate's face was to blame for the unpleasant sting in his heart.

This was exactly what he had been scared of.

He didn't want that sparkle to disappear.

_Ever._

"She should be get.. getting her transfusion ... soon.. if everything goes well," Baekhyun explained with effort since that painful blankness was giving him a hard time, even struggling to do something as simple as taking off his jacket.

He pulled down the sleeve of Chanyeol's hoodie he was still wearing after finally dropping the useless piece of clothing to the floor and showed him the bandage.

"I'm O negative so ..." he trailed off and gave his seatmate a pained smile.

".. ... ya .. you donated??" Chanyeol asked once he got it and clutched his stomach as he sat up, disbelief clearly audible in his hoarse voice.

Apparently, there were more injuries indeed.

They had to let a professional check his body as soon as possible.

"Yes. I did."

"You're.. like, also ..? Like her ... for sure?"

"Mhm. They tested me."

"Dream?"

Baekhyun shook his head upon hearing his seatmate's broken whisper, wiping the tears away that were still sticking to his face.

"No."

His dreams weren't as vivid as Chanyeol's.

Even if they were, the seemingly endless ache in his chest would have woken him up long ago.

That was for sure.

"Dun believe ya ... sorry," Chanyeol murmured, his eyes set on the floor. "Too good to be true .. bet you're not really there .. n' she's ... she is ... "

He was obviously struggling with speaking it out loud but Baekhyun didn't have to hear it to know what he was trying to say.

"N' you're gonna turn into him n' hurt... me ..." he revealed another detail of what was going on inside his head instead.

"No, I w-"

"That's not going to happen," Jongdae interrupted Baekhyun as he entered the room, Chanyeol's school bag over his left shoulder.

His eyes were just as puffy and red as Baekhyun expected his own to be at the moment.

"We're real, no one's going to hurt you anymore, and Yoomi is still quite weak but she should be getting there again. Just talked to your mom," he explained and put the bag down, keeping his distance. "So please try to stop worrying about others for now and focus on yourself for a change."

"You cried..?" Chanyeol asked instead of paying any attention to Jongdae's pleading, inspecting his friend's face with those expressionless eyes that made Baekhyun shudder.

"Anything wrong with that?"

"Yup. You never cry," Chanyeol huffed and averted his gaze. "Knew this is a dream. Dun try me."

Baekhyun furrowed his brows and glanced at Jongdae, immediately thinking of the scene in the hospital.

He was sure Chanyeol's statement wasn't false - it suited Jongdae and these two have known each other since third grade after all - but that didn't change the fact that he shed tears twice in not even one hour.

"You're not getting the seriousness of this, are you," Jongdae remarked and crossed his arms in front of his chest.

"Could've been worse," Chanyeol mumbled more to himself, grabbing the photo album from underneath the blanket and facing the white wall.

His movements were abnormally slow.

Baekhyun could clearly hear him mewl several times nevertheless.

"No need to make a big deal outta this. I'll be okay. Just leave me alone. Both of you."

Baekhyun pressed his lips together, staring at Chanyeol's back.

It was surprisingly difficult to tell thanks to how unusual cold his tone was but he couldn't imagine his friend truly meaning what he just said.

Not after barely escaping death.

Not after so many harmful hours of alone time.

"Say ... where's the Chan that used to tell me everything no matter how bad it was..?" Jongdae asked, raising his voice after Chanyeol grabbed the pillow next to him to cover his ears with it. "The guy that didn't lie whenever we're talking just because he thinks I already did too much for him in the past? Where's my best friend?"

Chanyeol didn't reply.

He didn't even move.

The lack of a reaction didn't encourage Jongdae to stop though.

"Why the fuck are you still not understanding that I've never been through anything that was _remotely_ comparable to all the shit that's always happening to you?!" he shouted without any warning, his upset outburst making both Chanyeol and Baekhyun flinch.

"That this is the only goddamn reason why you can't help me the way I helped you back then? That this doesn't mean you can't come to me ever again anymore now?? That any good friend would have done the same for you without expecting to get anything back? That I _want_ to be there for you whenever you need me? That you're only hurting yourself by bottling everything up?? That you almost fucking **died** and scared everyone who cares about you shitless?! That you're lucky you're still here?" he blurted out, the sheer pain in his wavery voice and hurt questions so strong that Baekhyun started to consider approaching him.

An odd desire that grew even stronger after he turned around and scanned the bawling teenager that was clenching his fists while inspecting his feet.

He looked miserable.

"That it's enough... for .. for me to know... you wo..would-"

Baekhyun's eyes widened when Chanyeol jumped to his feet and ran towards Jongdae despite his worrisome condition, luckily without tripping on the way.

"-drop every ... everything and- and come running to comfor- wah!"

_'Ouch,'_ Baekhyun thought as he watched how both of them lost their balance and fell the moment Chanyeol wrapped his arms around Jongdae, hoping that neither of them got hurt.

He couldn't quite understand what exactly Chanyeol was mumbling into his friend's neck but he was able to make out Jongdae's words at least.

"See... this .. this is exactly what ... I meant.. you fucking loser."

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry.
> 
> Can't believe I'm finally posting this.. please don't kill me for what I've done, okay..? *hides under blanket*
> 
> I have to admit I was shocked after reading this again for the first time in a while oof and I was the one who wrote this shit lmao
> 
> I really hope it isn't too much/too wild and all, ugh. *nervous and scared*
> 
> Aaaand I'm wondering if some of you thought I'm going to kill Yoomi after that cliffhanger last time.. almost killed her AND her brother at once instead.
> 
> My characters deserve better.
> 
> Basically, this part of the story has always been supposed to be quite emotional and angsty but as I mentioned before, I got a few additional ideas that made almost everything much worse than first intended.
> 
> Yoomi's disease, all those nightmares, and Chanyeol going missing once things become too much to handle for him are a couple of older ideas from like 2017 lol. And fun fact, I actually changed the disease - only after starting to publish my chapters here though. Mostly because I wasn't very happy with what I wanted to go for first anymore!
> 
> Chanyeol getting beat up was more random and a thought that crossed my mind in Summer last year.. I'm blaming my love for the Monster and Lotto looks for that idea. Especially Lotto cause like.. him in that mv?! Definitely one of my all time favorite Chanyeol looks if not my ultimate favorite and the main reason why his hair was peachy in the beginning of this story (ﾉ∀`♡) I'm so glad I was able to get his photocard from that era thanks to trading fjdlsafö
> 
> And that serial killer ... welp, I'm just evil. That addition basically only happened around the time I started writing the first scene. I knew it would make everything more complicated and that it'll have big consequences for the entire story because such a painful encounter is a traumatic experience that seriously affects one in several ways but in the end, I decided to go for it even so .. was that a good idea? Idk tbh but I enjoyed writing all this angst even though it hurts me to be so mean to my characters. I'm just not really showing it :')
> 
> Smol proof: I cried twice while writing - when I suddenly thought of Baekhyun using all kinds of nicknames (I got the idea out of nowhere and bOOm tears ran down my cheeks before I knew it) and Jongdae's outburst in the end hit me, too.
> 
> I hope I was able to make some of you cry as well fdjsflkasf don't mind me
> 
> I'm relieved because I didn't get stuck for too long while working on the chapter even though it was definitely one of the most challenging ones. I mean, it's full of serious topics and emotions and I wanted to make sure to like.. hit my readers with those (really hoping I achieved my goal arghhh) but there was also lots of research involved. Writing this little monster wasn't always easy but I surely had fun while suffering haha^^
> 
> I know it's time for LOTS of fluff after all this painful drama :') Please don't hate me and look forward to some soft and precious and warm cuteness in the future.. I think all of us need it ndjsalkfj
> 
> (...I can't go from this chapter to 100% fluff immediately though that's not how life works kdnflf you will get the fluff though °^° this is why I told you right away the next few chapters are mainly painful and angsty.. to give you the chance to prepare yourself djslfaspf)
> 
> Alsooo, this is extremely off topic, but Animal Crossing New Horizons is addicting as hell. I'm glad I was able to post even though it keeps distracting me lol. I called my island EXO Planet jsdklfjasä.. and I'm sorry for being so terribly slow with replying to comments. I can see you all and you're always giving me lots of motivation and love (you're the sweetest Istg ahhh ;-;) so I really hope I can get to reply again soon :')
> 
> Yeahhh that would be pretty much it!
> 
>  
> 
> Things are quite scary in the real world at the moment... hoping all of you are alright and healthy. Take good care of yourself, okay? And don't forget to give Suho's solo lots of love.. all songs are so dreamy and soft I cry please give him the support he deserves!!
> 
>  
> 
> P.S. I might be damn evil towards my characters sometimes but I'm not planning to give this story a sad ending so no need to worry about that or so! Just wanted to make that clear after this mess.
> 
>  
> 
> Take care and see you next time~♡


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